42. Holy Friday, The Crucifixion
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As the sun set, I saw more demons appear than I had ever seen in one place. Never had I witnessed such a concentration of evil celebration.
The Bride managed to fit two or three days of suffering and torture into this one but it started at sunset on Thursday and went through Friday evening. I suppose She wanted to get this bitterest of pills chewed and swallowed as quickly as She could. I will do my best to recount what happened, but I cannot report the events as well as did Mathew, Mark, Luke and John, so I won't try; you should read them. I will tell you the story from my perspective.
After supper His students (disciples) and I went for a walk with the Christ Who stopped at a beautiful garden not far from the temple. Olive trees and rosemary bushes filled the air with a holy calming fragrance. Everyone was tired after the big meal and the long walk. Jesus was clearly agitated. No longer was He the cool joker of Wednesday who thought Judas deserved more than 30 pieces of silver to betray Him.
He knew what was coming as a scholar and as God. In fact, Jesus had told Peter and the others that He was to be crucified in a surprisingly frank and fearless manner. Yet gradually a paralyzing fear dripped its poison onto His holy soul until It was suffused by a very human inner terror.
I think I know how He felt. Like me, Jesus had had authority over nature, time and matter have not phased Him. This world was a place He helped to create. Sure He could be hungry or cold from time to time, and His feet got dirty like everyone else's, and He slept. But, climbing that wilderness mountain with neither food nor water was the first time that nature showed itself to be a formidable adversary.
Both illness and death were easily manipulated by Him. He multiplied fishes and loaves when hunger struck. He walked on water to get to where He needed to go. He raised people from the dead. This Friday would sublimate the Christ to nature and evil in a violent way. For the first time in His human life He would be weak and powerless. I can imagine how frightening that could be to a Spirit like His.
When I heard Him rant at Peter and the others for falling asleep during His darkest hour, I read in it His deep anxiety. When I heard Him beg the Father to remove the cup (of death) from Him, it occurred to me that the fear of death was overwhelming Him because it meant a unique separation from His Father, however temporary. That was a thought He could not bear, no less experience.
It is the same horrible feeling I have about not being able to travel on the hairline path back home to God and the other luminous angels. In relating to Christ, I saw with my heart, the value of adhering to God's Will as compared to my own. If Jesus's Will could have been done on that day, no one would be able to reach the Tree of LIfe. Death, separation from God, would win forever, instead of for a time.
Jesus and I went back and forth from His place of private prayer to the place of the sleeping students, each return found Him increasingly more disappointed and more irritable.
Finally the dreaded moment arrived when Judas showed up and mortified Him with his kiss. Then the God who came to set men free was handcuffed, and all of His friends ran away. The Roman soldiers didn't want the students, they had their Prize.
I must tell you that the most poignant moment of all the trials that ensued was when the high priest looked Jesus straight in the eye and asked, 'Are you the Messiah, the Son of the Blessed One?' Jesus replied with the same two words that God, the Father used to identify Himself to Moses.
Exodus 3:13-15
But Moses said to God, "If I come to the Israelites and say to them, 'The God of your ancestors has sent me to you,' and they ask me, 'What is his name?' what shall I tell them?" God said to Moses, "I am who I am." He said further, "Thus you shall say to the Israelites, 'I am has sent me to you."
Likewise Jesus replied to the priest-interrogator, "I am" when asked if He was the Messiah.
I didn't know who to be more furious with, those dastardly chief priests who I am sure thought they were defending their faith, and their God, or the Romans who carried out the trial and the crucifixion.
I could feel sorry for the chief priests, as I felt bad for Judas too, for being pawns, perhaps innocently thinking they were on the side of justice. After all in their righteous opinions Jesus flagrantly broke the rule of working on the Sabbath.
When I think about how self-serving they were, about how they cared more for themselves and their status than they cared about God and what was most important to Him, I am convicted of my own self-centeredness. I see their guilt so much more clearly than I can see my own. But thanks to others who have shown me my faults, I know what I can do to be more like Christ, who though innocent was willing to suffer for sinners, and less like the self-righteous chief priests and Judas.
As for the Romans, I saw how they so shrewdly appended themselves to the problem of the Jewish hierarchy and used it to their own advantage. When Pilate saw that the Jews were hell-bent to crucify the Christ, he figured out how Rome could benefit from this. By assigning this poor man the title of King, which wasn't much of a stretch, Rome could belittle the concept of a Jewish king. In this way, Rome affirmed itself as the only ruler of the Jews. The priests and the Romans were in royal cahoots.
It was all so horrible. For my part I stood by Jesus Christ every step of the way. I fanned Him with my wings, I made happy faces to try to help him remember our better times. I stayed closer and closer with each step up Golgotha. I even refused to visit the Bride, even though at one point I saw Poppy in the periphery of my sight calling me to come. No, this time I refused to go.
And then it happen. I heard Jesus cry out, "My God, My God, why hast Thou forsaken Me?" After that His Holy Head dropped. This was the moment of death and abandonment that Jesus feared the most. Never before had He been separated from the Father. He lived in the Father and the Father in Him, but for this moment, this black second in time, Jesus was fully human and fully dead, physically and spiritually.
Just when I was about to vaporize with grief, I heard Christ say, "Come on angel, let's go! Quick, no time to waste."
I looked up and there He was, good as new! Our spirits soared together for the first time since before creation. I wondered how I could have gone from such depths of grief to such elation so quickly. It was dizzying.
We headed straight for Hades and surprised the hell out of the Devil who did not expect us. Jesus entered Hades and grabbed the keys from the guard and tossed them to me. I opened the door, and the first ones out were our old friends Adam and Eve, then came Moses and Abraham, and all the rest, saints and sinners flew out of Hades and headed straight for earth to get one last look.
I looked over at Jesus who was more radiant than I had ever seen Him on earth; He was laughing and joking as He tied up the Hades guards.
"Uh, Jesus," I said. "Haven't you forgotten something?"
"What is it angel, I don't think so." replied Jesus apprehensively.
"The Tree of Life Lord," I replied, You need to find it so we can distribute its leaves for the healing of the nations and for human immortality."
"Oh that!" sighed The Christ, "Silly Angel, the wooden cross was the Tree of Life. the crucifixion was the flaming swords. It's done! Come with me, let's find a nice cloud to rest on together."
The saddest angel in the universe spun around three times to become the happiest angel in the universe. I said, "Watch this!" and showed off my figure eights and my spirals. Angel bliss! "Follow me Lord, I know just the place to get our rest."
And He did.
Meanwhile, I was told that the Bride held a beautiful entombment, and chanted Lamentations at His funeral into the night. I wish they could have seen how free and alive Jesus was while they cried.