ALIVE: Chapter 90, Humility
/“You aren’t worthy to offer a sacrifice to God with those childless hands!” barked Issachar, the high priest, upbraiding the old barren couple who dared to approach the altar. “You must be sinners if God has withheld the blessing of children on you all these years.”
“Get out of here! Go back to whatever hole you crawled out of.” echoed a younger priest. A cacophony of “Yay” followed from the people.
Anna felt a hip jostling her out of the crowd. “God must have cursed you for a good reason. Get out!”
The four day journey to Jerusalem from Nazareth had been dusty and exhausting for Joachim and his wife Anna, but they wanted to celebrate their wedding anniversary in a special way by sacrificing to God who had united them fifty years before. How they had longed to purify themselves before God by transmitting their sins to the lamb. What could it mean, to be rejected, to be ejected from sacrificing? Would their sins cling to them like boils on their skin? How shameful!
The shock of rejection, the weight of their sins clinging to them, caused Anna to weep and meekly withdraw as demanded of her. She reached for Joachim’s hand. He looked at her sorrowful face and read that he should not argue with Issachar, but instead, he squeezed Anna’s hand and with all the self control he could muster, he meekly turned away from the altar, and weaved through the crowd of jeering people. Their hearts became flooded with thoughts of the years they spent planning and preparing for this pilgrimage. The arduous trek that took days before they finally arrived in Jerusalem had been both an act of penance and a spiritual quest to be pure before the Lord almighty. With every step Joachim and Anna anticipated the feeling of relief of purity. “How could their childlessness be an unforgivable sin?” thought Joachim. The two hearts grieved as one as they silently retreated to pick up their belongings from the room and go back home to Nazareth.
When they reached the room, Anna was the first to speak. “Joachim, since we are so near, do you mind if on our way home, we visit my sisters Zoia and Mary in Bethlehem?”
“Of course my dear, you gather our belongings while I seek transport. I shouldn’t be long.”
While packing Anna quietly searched her soul for reasons why God withheld children. How had she offended the Lord? She thought of unkind words she had spoken, of criticisms of others that she had expressed, of the times she and Joachim argued. Of the Sabbaths when she cooked. Her sisters had children, Elizabeth and Salome were such sweet little girls. Anna looked forward to seeing her nieces again. She wondered what gift she could take them from Jerusalem? Then she wondered whether she should tell her sisters about their expulsion from the Temple. She didn’t want to disparage the Temple, no matter what.
Her guardian angel looked upon sad Anna with compassion. The angel saw the sacrifices she made to be generous to the poor, to give to the Temple. Her angel did not see Anna as sinful, but as a sad aspiring child of the Most High.
Joachim walked into the room so quietly that Anna was startled to see him sitting in the chair as if he was an apparition. “I’m sorry, you were so immersed in thought, I didn’t want to disturb you my dear. We can join a caravan leaving for Nazareth in the morning.” Joachim stood up and Anna walked over to him and they hugged a good long time. The privacy of the room gave them the relief they needed to weep together.
If angels could cry theirs did watching the childless old couple heal ever so slowly from the gash of mistreatment they suffered.
Joachim gently released himself from their hug. “Why are we placing so much weight on what Issachar said? Let’s pray. ‘Oh Holy One, please forgive our iniquities and have mercy upon us. Though we are beyond the years of bearing children, we ask you, we beseech you, ...” then Anna injected, “We beg of you,”
“...please look upon us as you looked upon father Abraham and Sarah and remove this shame from us. Please Lord, grant us a child of our own. For your glory Lord. Allow our love for You and for each other to bear fruit. Up to now, we have spent our days and nights in worship and service to You alone and not for our own pleasure. If this has pleased You Lord, open Your sacred heart to send us a precious child, the fruit of Your love, and ours, that we may plant upon this fertile earth a child of man and of God to serve you all the days of its life when we are gone to Hades and can worship you no longer.” So ended the prayer of Joachim and Anna, who up until that day, spurned on by the mean Jerusalemites, begged God for a child for the first time in their fifty years of marriage. They who up until then had been content with God’s will to serve Him, and the poor. They who never begged God for anything, for surely they did not have want of anything. God had blessed them richly with herds and reverence knowing their generosity to the poor and to the Temple. God tested and used this holy and complaint couple for fifty years. For fifty years they had observed the law humbly.
Unbeknownst to them Joachim and Anna had been chosen by God for His unique purpose; Issachar’s cruel rejection was both purposeful and prophetic. It was purposeful because it spurred the couple on to pray and prepare for the birth of God’s Mother, it was prophetic because via their offspring, animal sacrifice would never be needed again. Not only would Joachim and Anna be turned away from animal sacrifice, the all-important vehicle for awareness and remission of sin, so would all mankind never require animal sacrifice again through the death of their grandson Jesus Christ, like Abraham’s Isaac who would be the epitome of the sacrificial lamb. Anna as the third daughter of the Levite priest Mattan, and Joachim as a son of David by their nature chose to devote their lives to their faith in Yahweh. Their wealth was not to be found in gold or silver, in their skills, or in a gaggle of children, but only in living humbly in the most yielding spirit of King David.
Their guardian angels watched the pious couple suffering unjust shame and indignation and had pity on them. At that moment word came from the Spirit chain-of-command that their prayer had been granted and furthermore, the archangel Gabriel was sent to give the couple hope. Delighted, the two guardian angels prepared for the arrival of the archangel.
The journey back to Nazareth via Bethlehem was healing but exhausting. Anna loved being with her sisters and the little girls who had matured beautifully since she last saw them. They adored the stuffed dates she brought from Jerusalem. Mary was such a wonderful cook. Their family dinners and playful nieces forced the sad memories of the embarrassing scene at the altar to recede.
“Please promise me that you will come to Nazareth to visit.” begged Anna. Zoia, Mary and their daughters took turns hugging Anna tearfully, as they parted.
“Anna, we must be going.” urged Joachim who was anxious not to miss the caravan and they had a ways to walk to meet it.
Back in Nazareth Joachim and Anna returned to their responsibilities. “Anna, I am going to take the flocks up into the hills. I’ll be back tomorrow. Will you be alright?” Joachim was unable to face the feeling of shame that never left him as it had Anna when she was with her sisters.
“Yes, my dear, I have a lot to do in the garden. Go with God. I want to be alone too.”
They gave each other a peck and a look in the eyes, and then parted.
“Okay,” said Joachim’s angel to Anna’s angel. “You go to the garden and I’ll go up the mountain. When Gabriel arrives do what he says. Bring Joachim home late this evening.”
Anna’s angel smiled and nodded and then flew over to the garden.
Joachim and his flock hiked up the mountaintop slowly huffing and puffing and taking a break from time to time to lean on his walking stick as the hike was steeper than he remembered. When Joachim and the flock finally arrived, he took in a deep breath of the fresh air and surveyed the land around him. Joachim relished the quiet that was broken from time to time with the nay of a lamb or goat. Joachim was so immersed in his anguished thoughts that he was surprised when he had finally reached the top. Spotting a boulder Joachim perched himself on it while the flock meandered beneath him.
Like a meteor dropping from the sky a bright light enveloped Joachim, and an angel as a man appeared in the midst of the light. Joachim looked at it in disbelief and awe.
The apparition spoke, “I am Gabriel, sent from God. I have come to give you good tidings of the birth of a daughter by whom all the nations of the earth will be blessed, and through whom the salvation of the world will come. When this comes to pass, you must offer the young child to be raised in the Temple as a holy vessel to God.”
“Do you mean to tell me that I must give my precious child to Issachar who so berated me?!” replied Joachim in astonishment. Just as the words came forth, in his heart Joachim thought of Abraham sacrificing Isaac. Gabriel didn’t reply more than to plant the vision of Isaac in his mind.
Now go home to Anna,” said Gabriel. “you will find her waiting for you at the gate.” Then as suddenly as it appeared, the apparition faded. Joachim sat stunned for a good while, but when he noticed the sun setting, he was impelled to hurry back down the mountain.
Meanwhile, Anna was in her garden pulling the weeds that had spread while they were gone and tilling the earth to make it more receptive to the nourishing water. In her garden Anna cherished thoughts of Joachim and how grieved he was. She admired Joachim for his diligence and his bright green eyes that still sparkled when he laughed. She was enjoying the smell of the earth and fresh air when suddenly a bright light arose out of nowhere. Frightened, Anna gasped in fear. Her eyes were fixed on the apparition of a man in the midst of the light. She was paralyzed. He spoke to her.
“I am Gabriel from the Lord of all. Your prayers have been heard. Fear not, you will be blessed with a daughter. She will be most blessed and through her all nations of the earth will be blessed. Through your daughter will come the salvation of the world. You must promise to deliver your blessed daughter to the Temple to be raised in holiness...
Anna gasped.
“...as she will become a holy vessel of the Most High God.” Gabriel paused and looked at Anna’s astonished and inquiring face. She bowed her head to listen to her heart which was silent. Then she looked up with tears in her eyes; Anna nodded in obedience.
“Go to the city gate and wait for Joachim to return. He too has been told.”
The apparition of the angel-man slowly vanished and the light dimmed itself enough to blend with the waning daylight. The elderly woman, long past her fertile years, sat on the stool for a while digesting the message. She arose mechanically and wiped her hands on the towel and straightened her clothing and in a daze gradually walked to the city gate. ....
“How do you feel?” whispered Joachim to Anna as they lay beside each other in their winter bed under heavy blankets.
Anna snuggled closer resting her head in the crook of his chest with her thin arm draped across her man squeezing him gently. “The Lord heard my prayers and He granted me our heart’s desire. I feel like a new Sarah. I am so happy Joachim, so very happy. I know what it means, what it feels like to be blessed by God.”
“You are more than Sarah my darling. We have no Hagar and no Ishmael to distort God’s will. Our love is pure and faithful. The Lord is the sunshine on our faces.”
Anna added, “How long have we waited and hoped for this child? Our very own Isaac...is a girl. God’s will be done.”
The old and happy couple lulled themselves into a deep sleep with thoughts of the miracle of their own child. Anna was the first to dose off while Joachim flittered mentally from new realities of fatherhood to the demands of an infant in their settled lives. These were the thoughts that lulled Joachim into a deep sleep that night.
Joachim awoke to the sound of Anna wrenching.
“Anna my dear! Are you alright?!” Alarmed and helpless Joachim didn’t know what to do.
“Oh, I feel awful. How I wish my mother was still alive to help me. But please go on with your day. Can you get your own breakfast? I want to be alone.”
Reluctantly Joachim dressed for the day, grabbed a rusk and left his ailing pregnant wife after placing a kiss on her red cheek. He first went to his neighbor’s house and knocked on the door.
He didn’t wait long for Gershim to open. The children were laughing and tussling in the background. “May I come in?”
“Of course, what can we do for you. Is everything okay?”
Diane stopped preparing the morning meal to join her husband at the door in curiosity.
Joachim looked at Diane and said, “Did you know that Anna is with child?”
“No! I didn’t! How thrilling!” exclaimed Diana looking at Gershim.
Joachim looked down modestly almost blushing like a teenage boy. “Yes, but she is ill and I must tend my flock. Will you look in on her? I don’t know what to do for her.”
“Of course I will. There is really nothing you can do but make sure she has enough water and some rusk.” She will be fine. I will go to her after I feed the children. Go Joachim, she will be fine.”
Joachim turned toward the door with head bowed low trying to reconcile his joy with his fear for her health. He mumbled a thank you and stepped out into the bustling village.
Anna was miserable. The slight nausea she had been experiencing the past several mornings had intensified into full blown convulsions. As the hours wore on, Anna felt as if blood was boiling in her veins, vibrating within her whole body. She was paralyzed by nausea and vomiting. Diane knocked and then walked in to find Anna sitting like a stone, waiting for the next wave to take over.
“I will make you tea. I brought my best honey. This will help you.”
“Please,” replied Anna, “don’t waste your honey on me. But I will take the tea. And a piece of rusk.”
“Yes, you must put something in your body, if only to have something to spew, instead of your own innards.”
Oh, the thought of vomiting her innards made Anna feel worse. Diana stoked the fire and tidied up the home.
As the days and weeks in this condition wore on, the sickness came and went in waves. Anna noticed that some food helped her a bit, but never for long. There was no normalcy never. In fact, after a few weeks when the nausea mostly confined itself to the mornings and evenings, she started spitting during the day. The excess saliva that her body produced was too much to swallow without making her sicker. So poor Anna spit into a bucket day and night. The smelly bucket made her need to vomit more. Joachim emptied the bucket outside and rinsed it as often as he could for his own sake as well as his wife’s.
Working, when she got the strength helped to distract her. Joachim felt helpless. There was nothing he could do to comfort his suffering wife.
As the weeks went by, and the nausea and spitting became matter of fact, the baby grew and grew. Anna felt the kicking which at first alarmed her, and then came as a welcome visit from the child. She sang to the baby which seemed to bring joy to both mother and child.
Knowing that there would most definitely be an end to the nausea and spitting comforted Anna. Joachim grew accustomed to the sorry condition of his wife and patiently accepted the sounds of vomiting and spitting. She did her best to keep the house clean and cook his meals. She also went for long walks to breath in fresh air and see others for distraction, and to show off her blossoming belly.
Joachim and Anna were both overjoyed at the prospect of a daughter, and prayed their thanksgiving daily, while secretly wondering what the angel meant by this daughter bringing salvation to the whole earth.
Diana had organized the other neighbors to prepare meals for Joachim and Anna. At first every day, and later twice a week a stew or pot of soup was delivered to their home. Everyone believed that the child was a miracle and a blessing, although neither parent ever mentioned the Visitation of Gabriel.
In her seventh month, Anna was visited by a few of the women who brought sweets and tea. The ladies chatted merrily when the subject of the baby came up.
“We will name her Mary after my sister.” announced Anna merrily.
“Mary is a good name. It is the name of the girl Miriam who kept alive the infant deliverer of Israel, Moses. Yes, Mary is a good name for your child.” said the elderly Ruth. “But what if it is a boy?”
The invisible guardian angels of Anna’s and her infant, looked at each other with big knowing grins.