ALIVE: Chapter 102, The Graduation
/It was still very dark when Mary awoke the next morning. She had no sense of how soon the sun would rise, and she didn’t care. All she wanted to do was to go back into her dream and stay there. She grasped for the reason it made her feel so joyful. Her father. Yes, Joachim was there; she saw him and he was very happy. Happy with her. She wasn’t at all sleepy, but she wanted to go back there in her mind. Try as hard as she might, she couldn’t. It was gone.
As it was too dark to get out of bed and too cold, she lay there thinking. Thinking about the man, and her future. “Lord, please guide me. My thoughts. I love you so much, and I want to serve you. Tell me, what can I do for you my King and my God? I am just one girl, and now I must leave my blessed Jerusalem, the City of David, my forefather, my temple, and go to that village far away, go into the hostile world. No, I mustn’t think that way. Remember, ‘Where can I flee from your presence? If I ascend into heaven, you are there; if I make my bed in Sheol, you are there. If I take the wings of the morning and settle at the farthest limits of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me...’ Surely you are in Nazareth.” She smiled at her own silliness. Then she rolled over on her side and pulled the blanket over her shoulders and fell gently into sleep again.
By the time the morning light and the chatter of the other girls woke her up, Mary had evolved. She no longer dreaded a new life. She didn’t know that the Lord had answered her prayer to guide her thoughts, but He did.
She wanted to tell Mother, however, her schedule whisked her to breakfast, then class. When the girls went to the Holy Temple for morning worship, she noticed a handsome older man in the shadows. He was praying silently with his eyes closed. She had never seen him before and she wondered who he was. She knew everyone at the Temple.
After the service, Mary decided to approach the high priest instead with her newly born acquiescence. She peeled off from the other girls going to class, and found the priest.
“Mary! How nice to see you.” said the chief priest wondering why she approached him, but sensing that she wasn’t angry with him.
“Your grace, I am prepared to accept your will, and Mother’s for my future.”
“I am pleased to hear that Mary. You know we only want what is best for you my dear.”
Mary nodded her head gently. She was much too innocent and ignorant of the pressures of the world to understand what hazards he was trying to protect her from.
“Mary, let’s walk over to his workshop now. Perhaps a casual first meeting will be a comfortable introduction for you.”
“Oh my!” she thought, not sure she was quite ready for reality to meet her fantasy.
“Follow me.” As they walked, Mary was reminded of the last time they walked to her father’s tomb together to lay him to rest. The thought saddened her and frightened her a bit.
By the time the priest and Mary reached Joseph’s shack, he too had returned from the prayer service and was setting up for his day’s work.
“Knock knock. May we come in?” hollered the priest.
Joseph looked up and was alarmed to see the girl he had seen crying on the bench. “Please come in.”
“Joseph, I want to introduce you to Mary. Mary this is Joseph. Come see the fine work he does. He is quite a talented man, and now that he has made my throne, his name will be great among all carpenters.”
Joseph bowed his head, not at all pleased by the compliments. He looked up and his eyes caught hers before she could lower her head. This surprised Mary who immediately recognized how much more confident and mature he was than she.
Her angel guided her to extend her hand to the man. “Pleased to meet you sir.”
“You may call me Joseph. Let me show you the throne.”
The priest chimed in, “Yes, it is stunning! I am so pleased.
Mary followed Joseph to his masterpiece. She stroked it as if it were a puppy and smiled. It felt so smooth in her hands. She looked closely and admired the intricate carving. How creative. This young sheltered woman (we must be careful not to call her a girl any longer, for almost over night she evolved into a young woman) was impressed by the skill of her soon-to-be betrothed. Mary turned to the priest and said, “You will have to excuse me your grace, they will be wondering where I’ve gone. It was good to meet you sir.”
“Joseph. Please call me Joseph.”
“Joseph. Your work is beautiful.” Mary was shy and a little overwhelmed in the workshop and with the stranger with whom she would share the rest of her life. She needed to retreat quickly to her classmates and familiar surroundings.
“Thank you.” replied Joseph whose compassion (and angel) attracted him to this meek and lovely young lady.
The priest interjected, “I will stay for a few more minutes. Yes Mary, you should go. Have a good day.”
Without saying another word, Mary exited the shack feeling an odd combination of discomfort and elation; a brew of old and new. In the shack she had entered a strange new world, a world of craftsmanship, and the craftsman.
The priest let her go without making any plan for a second visit. He would let Mother take it from there.
Once Mary was gone the priest looked over at Joseph who went back to his work burnishing the wood. “Well. Will you marry her?”
“Your grace!” replied Joseph trying, but failing to force an intonation of respect, “I just met her. What you are asking is for me to amend my life, and my children’s lives for the sake of an orphan girl.”
The priest corrected Joseph by saying, “A young lady.”
“Okay, young lady. With all due respect your grace.”
“I apologize. Yes yes, you need time to think and get to know her better. She is a charming person. Let me arrange a supper, just the four of us, the reverend Mother, you and Mary, and me. Perhaps on Shabbat, next week. I want your decision before you return to Nazareth and I see that my throne is almost complete. If you will do this thing, it would be a mitzvah, and I am confident that the Lord will bless you.”
“Yes, yes. I’m sure the Lord will bless me.” repeated Joseph who was already satisfied with his many blessings. He had kind and obedient children, a good vocation, and his health. He felt half his age. “Fine, arrange the dinner. I must be getting back to work now. Thank you for stopping by your grace.”
The priest nodded and left Joseph with his thoughts and his chair.
...
Later in the afternoon Mother was glad to hear from the priest that Mary met Joseph, and that Joseph seemed to like her very much. The priest exaggerated the truth. Then the priest told her to plan the dinner for the following Shabbat. “Let’s have fish.”
...
After supper Mary wanted to be alone to think. As she approached the rose garden, she noticed how many more blossoms there were since the last time she was there! She had never seen it look so beautiful. Deep reds, and blushing pinks and pastel yellow roses all in full bloom! She had never, in all her years seen so breathtaking a garden. The fragrance was as intense as incense!
When she reached the fountain, to her surprise she spotted Joseph sitting on a bench, not hers, deep in thought. He hadn’t even noticed Mary approaching. He was leaning back facing up with eyes closed. He did look handsome for an older man, Mary admitted to herself.
She didn’t know if she should go sit down on her favorite bench alone, or if she should say something to him, or if she should just go back to her dormitory room. She decided to leave him to his thoughts and sit down, although it was going to be nearly impossible to think and pray about him while the man was sitting so near.
She sneezed, which startled Joseph who opened his eyes and noticed her.
“Greetings.” said Mary. “Sorry to startle you. I just came here to think; I guess you did too.”
Glad to see her, he said, “Hello. May I sit with you?”
“Of course. Come.” said Mary and scooted over to give him plenty of room.
Joseph sat down at a respectable distance. Searching for a way to start a conversation he said, “I knew your father. When I was a boy, I worked for him in the fields.”
“You did!?!” exclaimed Mary. That made such a big impression on her. Imagine that this man knew her father before she was born. She said, “I am sorry that they are forcing me on you. This wasn’t my idea. I am happy to be single and stay here and worship the Lord, but they insist that I go back to Nazareth. I have my parents’ home there.”
“Yes, I know.” replied Joseph, “It is closed up, ever since your mother moved to Jerusalem. I am so sorry to hear she passed away. We didn’t know that. When did it happen?”
“Just about a year ago. It was so sudden. It was a terrible shock. But I am blessed that she lived in Jerusalem after papa died. I cherish those last years with mama.”
“I attended your father’s funeral, and sat shiva with your mother. The entire town was there. I don’t think a single person stayed away. He was a beloved man.”
Mary was surprised and warmed by that; the stranger was gradually becoming familiar through her parents of all things. It was as if Joseph took Joachim’s old invisible hand and hers to link her parents and himself with Mary. She feared talking too much about herself, so she said, “Tell me about your children. How sad that you lost your wife. That must have been very hard.”
“My wife died many many years ago in childbirth. So long ago that the sadness and pain have subsided. I had to raise the children myself, and of course the villagers helped me, and my parents helped too until they passed away. First my mother, who had been the biggest help, and then my father. But by then the children were able to care for themselves.”
“So sorry.” said Mary realizing how complex life in the world must be compared to her simple life.
“Don’t be, I have a good family and a good profession. I love my work. I love working with my hands and making things that will outlive me. When I see my work, I know what I did with my life.”
“That must be wonderful.” said Mary.
“What has it been like to live in the temple?” asked Joseph.
“Oh it’s so peaceful. I love the Lord God with all my soul. I would be happy to live out my days here.”
“Oh how can you say that, you are so young? You have so many different experiences to look forward to.” replied Joseph.
“But I want to serve the Lord. I belong to Him.”
“You can serve the Lord away from the temple. I think I serve the Lord by making furniture.”
“How so?”
“I use the hands and mind that reflect His image, the talents that He gave me from His infinite well of creativity. I do it to the best of my ability. When I see a flaw, I never let it go. I seek perfection, just as He made perfection in everything He created, particularly in humankind.”
“That’s beautiful. I have the house and my father’s flocks. I have a house here in Jerusalem too that was my mother’s. I have a dowry.” said Mary, as an effort to show value for her simple self.
“Oh my dear, I don’t care about that. What’s yours is yours.
“I know they want me to marry you, and I want to obey because God wants me to. Mother and the priest are like my mother and father, and I told the Lord that I will honor them with the respect and obedience that their positions require.”
Joseph replied, “Something tells me that it wasn’t they, but the Lord God who is bringing us together. It is He we should obey!” said Joseph surprised to hear himself say that, and through the words that spilled out of his mouth agreeing to the match.
“I think you are right, Joseph.” Mary was surprised at herself calling him by his name for the first time. “It’s uncanny that you are from Nazareth and knew my papa, and came here, just when I needed to graduate. God is perfect!”
Joseph stood up and then got down on one knee and added, “Well, I guess we will do this. Mary, will you marry me?”
Mary blushed and a tear spilled from her eye, “I promise I won’t be any trouble to you at all. Yes. I will...Joseph, marry you.”
Joseph stood up, and sat back down on the bench and said, “You are too young to say you won’t be any trouble. You don’t know that, but I will take good care of you as they want me to, and as the Lord, obviously wants me to.”
With that, Mary extended her hand to him. Joseph stood up, and so did Mary and they hugged the hug of a soon to be betrothed couple. The hug lasted as Mary and Joseph each tried to feel the personhood of the other. They both sensed the harmony before releasing each other.
“I must get back now. They will wonder where I’ve been.”
“Good night my dear. Let me walk you to your dormitory.” And so he did.
When they reached the dormitory most of the girls were fast asleep. Mary quickly changed into her nightgown and crawled under the blanket, and she thought about how kind and tender Joseph was until her thoughts turned into sweet dreams.
...
By the dinner Mother had arranged, their betrothal was a foregone conclusion of the nagging problem and the subsequent suspense. It was time to discuss logistics. Joseph was wrapping up his work in Jerusalem, and needed to return to Nazareth. He would come back for her graduation and escort her to Nazareth.
Mary asked that she be allowed to stay alone for a while in her family home. Mother and the chief priest acknowledged that once she is betrothed and graduates, they no longer have authority over her, but that they thought it was fine for her to live alone for a while, while the town, and his children grew accustomed to her presence (and while the couple waited for the gossip to die down.)
Joseph said that he was in no hurry for the wedding and agreed that she needed time in her parents’ home alone. Mary was relieved that Joseph was so permissive with her.
They scheduled the betrothal ceremony for the following week. There was so much to be done in such a short time, the lunch to follow, and her dress to make!
...
Because Mary was an orphan, and even her aunts and cousins in Bethlehem were far away, the betrothal lunch was at the school. It was a lovely affair. All of her classmates and especially Mother were very happy for Mary. It was good that she would have a new family, even though some of the teachers wondered how she could be a mother to children who were close to her own age. Mary and Joseph liked each other and that was all that mattered. The angels saw to that! But then again it was easy, for each soul was humble and Joseph was a righteous man.
The following day Joseph left for Nazareth, leaving his throne, and his betrothed behind in Jerusalem. The high priest was sorry to see him leave. He enjoyed Joseph’s company. Every time he sat on his throne, he was glad to be reminded of this good man who solved his problem. May God be good to him.
Mary was less sorry to see him leave because she was glad to retreat into her old life a little longer. She wanted to cherish her last months at school, and her classmates, and of course her beloved Mother, and even the high priest who changed her life so dramatically. Cherish she did. Every day was a gift. Even her chanting and her worshipping took on new gusto.
She was now old enough to be allowed to go into Jerusalem with her friends to go shopping. Since her mother passed, Mary rented her home and received the income which was helpful. She visited her parents’ tomb regularly to feel their physical presence and to pray that the Lord would give them refreshment in Hades. And she visited her mother’s garden near Gethsemane. With some of the rent money, she hired a gardener to tend it. The man who helped her mother buy her home had become the manager. He collected the rent and paid the gardener, and maintained the house, took his payment and sent Mary the rest. He did this until the day he died. After that, his son became the manager.
Mary knew that she would miss these visits to the tomb and Gethsemane when she was so far away in Nazareth, but then again, she would come back during Passover. Jerusalem wasn’t going to disappear she told herself with a smile. Perhaps some day she would live there again, in her mother’s home. Who knew what life had in store for her?
...
The months passed quickly, too quickly for Mary who vacillated between a state of nostalgia for her love of the temple and optimistic curiosity about her new life in the world with a kind and handsome man and his children, and life in the village. One foot in the old sacred world while the other reached for the morrow.
The day came for Mary to meet Joseph’s arriving caravan. She brought him a small bouquet of fragrant multicolored roses. He smiled upon seeing her, received her symbolic gift, and gave her a hug. She told him that she had prepared his shack to stay in. He was pleased with that. After dropping off his satchel Mary and Joseph sat in their rose garden to catch up with the goings on at the temple and graduation events, and the goings on in Nazareth with his business and his children who were pleased for their father and looked forward to meeting Mary.
Mary had attended many graduations before, one for each of the eleven years she lived at the temple. She had seen girls come and go. She felt like a bird being pushed out of its nest. She knew the bird needed to be pushed out or it would never learn to fly. God made birds to fly, not to sit and wait for food to come. These thoughts strengthened her; they shamed her out of her nostalgia.
To say good bye to Mother, Mary had to go through the motions of the hug and farewell as if it didn’t sadden her. When she lost her father and her mother there were no good byes, there was no choice. They simply disappeared; they left her. She had never been the one to leave. The day she said goodbye to Mother was the day she realized for the first time, how difficult it must have been for her parents to leave her. How difficult and how brave her mama was, how self sacrificing her mama was every time she said goodbye. Love is strange, it hugs and it pushes away. Oh Lord!
She climbed into the carriage that Joseph built that started the celestial ball rolling, and waved to the girls who had come to see her off. She would be back at Passover, she shouted cheerfully.
...
In Nazareth, Joseph carried Mary’s bags into her family home, which he and his children had opened and prepared for her arrival. It was clean and cozy, just as Anna had left it. Even though she had no memory of the place, she sensed her parents there and instantly felt comfortable. Her mother and father had left traces of themselves throughout the home. It made her happy as if they were there to welcome her.
Life in the world will be peaceful and nice she thought to herself. She can sew, and pray, and learn to cook. Yes, Mary thought to herself while in her nest how peaceful her life will be. She thought too how much she will enjoy living alone for a while.
Mary was in no hurry to marry, but the wedding and the marriage gave her something to look forward to. She had no aspirations other than to be a good mother to his fairly grown children. She decided that her service to Joseph and his family was as serving the Lord. She thought of how Mother managed to be such a good mother to so many girls. She had learned handiwork at school and could sew for them, but she needed to learn to cook better.
She only regretted having not told Joseph about her vow to remain a Virgin, but the opportunity never presented itself. That was a problem. How does one say something like that to one’s betrothed? Besides, she was too modest to even mention the subject. She could not in any way betray her commitment to God for she was truly his handmaiden and would always be. Maybe Joseph won’t care.