ALIVE: Chapter 115, Joseph
/Her beloved Son Jesus had been gone for two weeks, the longest stretch of time apart from Him since His birth. How she missed Him. She missed His hugs, she missed waiting on him and washing His clothes and cooking His favorite foods for him. She missed laughing with him. He was so clever and He had such a wry sense of humor. She wondered when He might come back home.
Because her Son was God, Mary learned more about the Lord from Him than any other mother learns from her son, no matter how great and accomplished a son might become. Mary learned trust and patient endurance; she learned about listening and about the contrast between nature and spirit. In the last thirty years Mary learned more about God than she had learned through the Torah at school or since then. She was far from being the school girl, now in her mid forties, but she never grew out of her sense of wonder and awe.
“I am still tired Mary.” said Joseph that morning as they were eating breakfast together in their quieter home. All of his children had moved out to have families of their own, and now with Jesus gone too the house was empty. There hadn’t been a need to escape to Mary’s family home for years. She would go there once every few months to dust and to feel near her parents, but even then, time was gradually moving Joachim and Anna further away from her consciousness.
After breakfast Mary said, “My dear, why don’t you go back to bed. There is nothing that you were going to do today that can’t wait.”
“Yes, I will, but please don’t let me sleep too long, or I won’t be able to sleep tonight. I feel a little chill, do we have another blanket somewhere?”
“Yes, we do, in the beautiful chest you made for me, remember?”
Joseph with his eyes looking back into a faraway time, said, “Yes. I remember making that chest for you my dear.”
“The carving is so intricate. You show much skill and patience in this piece. I have always admired it, and you as it’s maker.”
“Thank you. Now fetch me that blanket.” Joseph was feeling weak and chilly. He was dizzy and wanted very much to go to sleep to not feel so badly anymore.
Mary walked over to the chest and carefully opened the lid. She retrieved a blanket and went over to the bed Joseph had already climbed into. Mary covered him, tucked the blanket along the sides of his long old body, and then kissed Joseph on his forehead.
Joseph answered her kiss with, “I love you.”
And as always, she replied, “I know you do.”
As quietly as she could Mary went about cleaning up after breakfast, and then decided to leave the home to let him sleep in peace. She went into the village to pick up groceries and perhaps she thought, she would visit a friend. She tried to be gone long enough to give him enough rest, but as he said, not so much that he wouldn’t be able to sleep at night.
At around the sixth hour Mary returned home. She dropped her bags on the table and went into the bedroom to check on Joseph. He was still. She felt his head. It was cold! Mary was shocked! She sat down on the edge of the bed next to her husband, Joseph. She bowed her head and closed her eyes. “Oh my Joseph, where did you go?! Why did you leave me so suddenly?” She searched for his spirit in the darkness and saw him! He didn’t speak to her, but he appeared young and healthy. “Oh my Lord, receive your servant Joseph. I thank you so much for him. Please don’t let his soul linger in Hades.” Then she pulled the covers over his hardened white face.
Just as quietly as she had walked out of the house that morning, Mary once again gently shut the door behind her and walked briskly to the rabbi’s home. There was no time to waste, as the sun would be setting soon. The people she passed sensed her urgency, knowing how old and weak Joseph had become, they easily assumed the truth.
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The passing of Joseph was a major event in the village. Easily half of the people in Nazareth lived with a piece of furniture that he had made. Through his skill and talent Joseph imparted himself to them one by one.
The rabbi quickly ordered his grandson to go tell the men to retrieve Joseph’s body and to immediately prepare it for burial that evening.
Mary quickly walked over to James’s house.
When he opened the door and took one look at Mary, he knew what she had come to say. Mary could not look James in the eye from sorrow. “Oh Mary, why don’t you stay here with my wife Mariam and I will tell my brothers and sisters.”
“Thank you James, but I will go back to our home. Tell everyone to gather there.”
James’ wife overheard and rushed to the door. She hugged Mary. “I’m so sorry. I will make something good and bring it over. Or would you like me to go home with you now; the children will be fine.”
“No, I will see you later. Thank you Mariam.”
The rest of the evening was surreal. Mary wasn’t sure of whether she was dreaming or awake. She hadn’t expected Joseph to depart so soon, so soon after they lost Jesus to the world.
By the time she arrived at her home, Joseph was gone and the house was filled with visitors.
Mary gracefully played the part of a young widow. There was no time to think or pray until everyone would leave. Few people left and more and more kind and curious neighbors filled her home. A boy came running in, out of breath to announce that the rabbi was ready for the burial.
Everyone filed out of the home and walked solemnly to the cemetery, where the hole was dug, and the rabbi was waiting for the arrival of the Mary and Joseph’s grieving sons and daughters.
There the congregation of the village prayed and wept, wept and prayed. Mary chanted with other soprano and alto voices chiming in to accompany her. The passing years had made Mary more beautiful than ever. Her voice had become like the sound of honey, sweeter, the tones rounder and more lovely than even when she chanted with her mother. The official canter bellowed out his part. The rabbi beseeched the Lord to receive the soul of their beloved with mercy and kindness. No one really knew what Joseph was experiencing at that moment. The friends and relatives of Joseph didn’t know what kind of a devoted man of God he was. Only Mary knew that a Saint was lying there still and breathless but with infinite life within him. Many believed he was just asleep. Others knew he went to Hades and was aware, but they didn’t know what that meant.
God decreed that it was time for Joseph to enter into his rest. Joseph’s job was done when God proclaimed that Jesus was His Son at the Jordan that day, Jesus could call no man “father”. He had only one Father.
Mary no longer needed the ruse that she had a husband because even as God proclaimed Himself to be the Father, increasingly Mary, having been the vessel of God, was the original Bride of God. As the time had come for Jesus to have one Father, it was also time for Mary to have no husband but her Lord.
These were the thoughts that entered Mary’s mind at the end of the day when she was all alone in her home for the first time. Jesus was gone, and she didn’t know where, and she had no idea when she were hear from Him, or be able to tell Him about Joseph’s passing. Joseph was gone. Tearfully she thanked Joseph for his humble service to her.
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The first 40 days since Joseph’s passing when Mary stayed in seclusion may have been the most formative for her soul. She read and prayed. No one came over for concern of becoming unclean by entering the house of a dead man.
When she had to go into the marketplace, she wore black and no one dared speak to her. She purchased what she needed and returned to her cave of a home, alone with Hashem in mourning. She wept, she read, she prayed, and she wept again. Never had she been so alone. Joseph was her angel manifested. He protected her, he walked beside her through dangers unspeakable. He shielded her from evil tongues when she had first become pregnant with her Son. He was her gift. For thirty years he stood and slept beside her while she grew up from a girl to a young woman and mother and now in her mature years. He was gone. Never to talk with her to give her his wisdom and counsel, to fix things, make things, provide for her, give her someone to confide in. Jesus was gone, Joseph was gone. She knew Jesus wouldn’t return home either. It was time to rely on God, Hashem, alone.
She slept, she read, she prayed as if she was in the wilderness alone as was her Son, but she didn’t know that.
Often when she was hungry, she didn’t want to eat. Her tears were her drink. Her scripture was her food. But she did eat from time to time, almost mechanically without thinking, she would pick up a piece of hard bread.
During one particularly lonely moment She asked God to bring Joseph back, or to make Jesus suddenly appear to comfort her, as she knew he was capable of doing. But no, this was not the time for miracles, it was the time to accept her harsh reality.
On the morning of the fortieth day she woke up and felt light as if a boulder had been lifted from her chest. She no longer felt alone. She sensed that the room was filled with angels come to companion her.
She washed her face diluting the dry salty tears with fresh water. She combed her hair and decided that it was time to visit his daughter Salome.
“Oh mother, it’s so good to see you. Please come in. Let me get you some tea. I just made a loaf of sweet bread. How did I know you were coming?”
“I would like that. How have you and the children been?
“The children miss their grandfather. We have gone to his grave almost every day to pray. They know that they will not see him, but we all feel his life flowing through our veins. Papa is with us. He will always be so.”
Mary hugged her step daughter and confirmed, “Yes, he was a very good