ALIVE: Chapter 128, Baptism beyond John

While walking in silence to the Jordan river from home the thoughts of the disciples were in different stages of awareness of who Jesus was. Peter, Andrew, John and James were the most aware. Yet, after the scene with Seth asking Jesus what he heard from heaven at His baptism, and what Jesus himself told Nicodemus about who He was, clearly the disciples were flabbergasted and had to mentally digest the revelation that Jesus was the Son of God…the Messiah? Would He free the Jews from Roman control? How? They weren’t soldiers. Jesus appeared to be completely normal and human, and yet…

None of the most alert and most curious disciples had the courage to grill Jesus about Himself. Besides, there was rarely an opportunity. Yet, what would he say? “Jesus, how does it feel to be the Son of God? To be God.?” How could they even be able to comprehend a reply? No, each man decided on his own to keep it in his heart and to observe. 

If he ever had a chance, John decided to talk to Jesus’s mother about it,. She would know how that could be. That thought, that flittered into his mind shocked John. She would know! John decided that he would have to keep these thoughts hidden in his heart. They were too astounding. He needed to pray, pray for comprehension and to know what God wanted him to do with this revelation. 

The troupe arrived at the Jordan a little after sunrise having left the house while it was still dark. The riverbank which had hosted great crowds of penitent people was now desolate, except for the shadow of a solitary man sitting on a fallen tree limb gazing out at the river. It was Nicodemus. The old distinguished man from the evening before was sitting and waiting for Jesus to arrive. He hadn’t been able to sleep all night and in the wee hours Nicodemus, arose from his bed, dressed and walked to the Jordan River as if he had been led to do so by the Holy Spirit.  

The disciples were surprised to see the Pharisee there, Jesus expected to see him, which is why He had made His men wake up before sunrise and start walking. Seeing Jesus and His men approach, Nicodemus stood up and walked over to them. He simply said, “I am ready.” 

The men faced the rising sun and Jesus led them all in prayer, worshipping and glorifying God together, and rebuking Satan. Jesus told each man to turn and spit on the ground three times as a outward sign of rejection of the devil and all its deeds. Then the men were told to turn toward the rising sun and accept the Lord God, vowing to love and serve Him every day of their lives. 

After the communal prayer, Jesus walked into the river, up to His waist. Nicodemus and the disciples entered the cold water, pushing against the current and the tide one at a time. Nicodemus asked the disciples if he could go first so he could leave before anyone else arrived and saw him there. They understood. 

In the river, Jesus placed His hands on the old man’s bowed head looked up to heaven and prayed silently, then He gently pushed the man to fully submerge him into the sea instructing him to ask God for mercy and forgiveness while the man holding his breath did so. 

His body begging for air. Nicodemus emerged as a new man, his old spirit having died in the water and its companion, his body, relieved by air when he arose from the sea, literally felt the rebirth. Nicodemus was surprised to fully comprehend by experience his psychosomatic birth. His question of the night before was answered as no words could have done.

Tearfully, Nicodemus thanked Jesus and struggled to get through the running water and away from the river without so much as a nod to the disciples he left behind. Dripping wet and cold, Nicodemus steeped in mental conversation between God and his new self, kept walking until he became fully dry and filled with peace. He looked forward to visiting his friend, Joseph of Arimathea to tell him and only him what had happened. Perhaps Joseph would want to be baptized too.  

One by one the other disciples were similarly baptized. When each man emerged out of the river, he walked to the shore, dried off with a cloth and sat quietly and patiently for the others absorbing in their minds the power of the baptizing experience. 

After all the men had been baptized Jesus too waded out of the river and to His waiting men. He said that they would wait for people to arrive who were looking for baptism. Then, each of the disciples was to lead the baptism sacrament. Each disciple from Peter to Judas felt ready, willing and able to baptize others.

Within a half hour, when the sun was halfway between the horizon and noon, remarkably people arrived looking for John the baptizer. Jesus withdrew to observe from a distance His men in a line, up and down the spot they had so recently been baptized, now baptizing others. 

By noon, the day was very hot and sunny. The water was so refreshing, as if the body literally materialized the refreshment of the soul. 

Two men when seeing that John the Baptizer was not at the Jordan River approached Andrew suspiciously who was baptizing to ask where John was. Andrew replied that John was at Aenon near Salim. They thanked Him and left for Aenon. 

…

When they arrived at Aenon the men spotted one of John’s disciples and told him that they went looking for John at the Jordan and that others were baptizing there. 

That disciple hearing the news waved to John in the water for him to come out. Curious as to what was so important, John walked out of the water to find out. He was told that others were baptizing in the Jordan in his place; it was that man Jesus and his disciples. He reported that the crowd there was growing when he left.

John surprised them with his reply because they expected John to be as outraged as they were. Instead he replied, “A man can receive nothing, except it has been given to him from heaven. You heard me say that I am not the Messiah, but, that I am sent before him. 

He that has the bride is the bridegroom: but the friend of the bridegroom, that stands and hears him, loves the bridegroom. He loves just to hear his voice. I’m not angry that Jesus’ disciples are baptizing in the Jordan. On the contrary I am very happy to hear this. He must increase, and I must decrease. I know this and I want it this way. You should too.”

John’s growing audience listened attentively, surprised at what they were hearing.

After a brief pause to allow the men to grasp what he was saying John continued, “That Man Jesus came to earth from heaven above. This makes Him above all of us. We are of the earth, we speak earthly things. But Jesus, being from heaven is far superior to us. What He knows of heaven, what He has actually seen and heard from heaven He tells us. This is so far above us that we can’t even comprehend it, because we don’t even have a frame of reference for what He says. 

But those of us who listen and believe what Jesus tells us, prove that we believe in God. We believe with all our mind and heart that God is true, and that He sent Jesus to us. This man Jesus speaks as if God is speaking to us.”

John looked upon the faces of his audience who were increasingly aghast. One man looked as if all the blood had drained out of his head, in fear. Unconcerned because he had more that needed to be said, John kept talking while many of them wondered how the baptizer knew all this saying, “God sent Jesus to us to speak plainly to us. God didn’t want to give us only a glimpse, a flash of reality, but through Jesus He tells us all that He wants us to know, and those who come after us. Listen to Him. Listen to Jesus. God is His Father and He truly is God’s Son.”

John knew this about Jesus ever since he heard God speak from heaven for the first time  on that day a year before when he baptized Jesus. Since then in prayer God confirmed it to him gradually until he came to comprehend the magnitude of Jesus’ existence. John remembered that as a child his mother telling him about her cousin Mary, His mother, her visit and when he leaped in her womb.

“God, the Father loves the Son. He loves Jesus whom He sent to earth. God gave everything to Him. How could I, look at me! How could I ever dare to be concerned that Jesus is baptizing, or even that His disciples were baptizing? I should be baptized by Him!”

John paused to let the men comprehend what he was saying, before the hammer came down that would change their lives forever. For John, it was as if he was baptizing these men with words instead of water. The effect was the nearly same. Their old ignorant man was dying inside, and they were becoming forever aware. He said, “Whoever believes in this man Jesus, the Son, will have eternal life. He will live forever.” Eyes wide open grabbed those words from the air. “But you, or anyone of you all who does not take what Jesus says to heart and follows Him and His teaching, will incur the wrath of God. It is that simple men.”

Everyone who heard and overheard John speak this way to his disciple and the men who just showed up were stunned. There was so much more to what he was saying than they could comprehend before they could accept it.

“Oh, okay. I supposed I’m sorry I even asked, or maybe not. Now that I’ve heard. Actually I went to the Jordan to be baptized by you John. And now I am here.”

Many of the other men echoed, “Me too.”

John looked at the men sympathetically and said, “Come, let’s go back in the water again. And after you have been baptized, go to your homes, and then you will be ready to understand what I just said, and why God sent you to the Jordan to be disappointed and suspicious. You were given a gift.”

The two men who had come from the Jordan to lambast Jesus and His disciples both felt as if they were shedding old skin, like a snake, as did John’s disciple, the one who called him out of the water to convey the news.

Meanwhile, those looking on had lost track of the conversation, it became hard to hear and they were distracted by the clamor of the sea and the other people. 

John turned and walked back into the river, not looking behind him at the two men following him.

When he stopped, they stopped. 

John lifted his head looking into the heavens and prayed silently for several moments, and then put voice to his prayers. The men felt chills going through their bodies. They couldn’t tell if it was from the temperature of the water or the Spirit entering their bodies with the power of an inner wind. 

Those first baptized men thanked John profusely and turned to enter into their new lives, leaving their former soul-consciousness, or rather unconsciousness behind forever.

ALIVE: Chapter 95 Growing Up Holy

Anna woke up earlier than usual that morning, before the dawn, but try as she did, she couldn’t fall back to sleep so she got out of bed, lit her oil lamp, grabbed a pillow and went over to her chair covering her legs with the small woolen blanket, and sat comfortably and quietly. She thought of how Mary had blossomed over the years. She was still such a quiet and pensive child. The temple mother had watched over her so well, to make sure she learned the psalms and the law. Then Anna tried to recall the lessons little Mary had told her on their last visit.

 In her quiet hallowed home Anna filled her soul with worship. The bitter taste of the absence of her precious child had been supplanted by thick sweet honey knowing how well Mary was cared for. The Lord must have a reason in Mary’s own life for separating her from her natural mother, and giving her another mother, all the while knowing how very much Anna, as far away as she was, loved her. For truly Anna loved Mary and the Lord, more, much more than she cared for herself. How else could she endure the loneliness? It was true that the teachers in the temple could fill her young mind and heart with so much more peace and beauty than she could have in the world with its conflicts and demands. Anna contemplated what a life of service to God, of learning, and uninterrupted love and service to the Lord would be like. Pure gold.

 “Thank you Lord, for this moment.” In the candlelit darkness Anna’s soul, like rising bread-dough gradually, mysteriously, filled with gratitude. She whispered so as not to waken Joachim, “Blessed be God, and blessed be all his holy angels. May His holy name be blessed throughout all the ages. Though He afflicted me with childlessness, He has had mercy upon me. Now I have given to Him of what He gave me. My heart rejoices in Him. May He be glorified through the ages and may my daughter, His daughter, glorify Him all the days of her life, to sit in His temple and behold the wonders of His mysteries.” Anna wondered if perhaps her daughter would someday marry and give birth to a prophet. But she abruptly stopped that line of thinking. God will do what He wants and it is not up to me, thought Anna, ashamed to even entertain such thoughts.

Joachim’s louder snoring arrested her frivolous thoughts and pulled her back into the chilly room. Then his breathing sounded labored and Anna began to worry. He was getting old, she could see how he walked with a limp and was hunching over. Joachim had been such a strong young man, and now he is ripening like a soft sweet pear that has lost its grit.

The snoring stopped. Anna decided that her mind was wandering too much, so she tried to sit without words and watch the sun ever so gradually fill her room with light.

Peaceful silence was broken again by Joachim’s snoring, and since it was daybreak Anna stood up to start a fire and boil water.

As she went about the home tidying up and preparing breakfast Anna noticed that Joachim was sleeping much later than usual, but she didn’t want to wake him up, as she figured that he needed the sleep. He was close to his 80th year. How quickly the years had passed. She could barely remember their life before Mary, so much had the child filled their hearts and consciousness. Since they left her in Jerusalem they lived from visit to visit savoring the anticipation, and then the memories. How she had blossomed in the temple. How many years had it been? Anna struggled so to remember that she had to sit down and think hard. Of course she remember that Mary was only three, but how old was she now? A bird then perched itself on her window sill looking for the breadcrumbs that Anna often left there. She smiled at her little feathered friend, glad for someone else to feed. As she went to her breadbox to sweep the crumbs for the bird, she thought of king David and how it angered the Lord when he counted the soldiers in his army. What do the years mean anyway? Silly me. What does time mean to God? Come little bird, here is your breakfast. Just as she set the crumbs on the sill she heard Joachim rise. And so her day was to begin again.

Joachim entered the room his long white hair all messed up and bedclothes rumpled and asked, “When is it that we are going to visit Mary? I forgot.”

Anna smiled at her old man. “Good morning! In a few days, after Shabbat my dear. Now wash up. What would you like for breakfast?”

That was a joke because every morning for their sixty years together as one, Joachim sipped his cup of mountain tea and ate two rusks and an egg for breakfast. In season he also ate a few figs. As she scurried around the kitchen space Anna thought about the rhythm of the repetition of the days, how morning follows morning as if there is only one that never ends. How her life had taken a turn; she never could have anticipated these quiet days when she was a young girl like her Mary, but with sisters. How she missed her sisters Zoia and Mary. Perhaps one day they could meet her in Jerusalem to visit Mary. Perhaps their daughters Elizabeth and Salome would come too, maybe at Passover. Enough thinking, she thought.

“Joachim, your breakfast is on the table my love, come.”

Joachim shuffled into the room and sat down. “Anna, do we have honey? I think I want some this morning.”

“Yes dear, remember last month Moishe brought us a jar from his farm. I will get it.”

“Anna, I dreamed about my mother and father again last night. This time I was a boy out in the fields looking for snakes and both of my parents were calling me as if I was lost and they were desperate to find me. I could see them but they couldn’t see me.  I called back but they couldn’t hear me, and then their voices turned into Mary calling for me, I tried to holler to tell her where I was, but sound didn’t come out of my mouth, I couldn’t even hear myself, and then I woke up. I don’t feel well Anna.”

“You will be fine Joachim. We will go to see Mary soon and you will perk up.” Anna said that, but as she looked at her husband, she noticed another degree of weakness in him.

Joachim’s blue eyes grew wet and hazy as he stared into the air. “Yes. I will see Mary and feel better.”

“Perhaps you should go visit your shepherds this morning. It’s been several days, and I will finish making this dress for her soon. Okay?”

After eating his breakfast Joachim left the house without thinking to say good bye to Anna so deep in thought was he. Instead of going to his field, he was drawn to hike up the nearby mountain to hear God as Moses did.

 He only made it part of the way and found a ledge that he decided would have to suffice. Sitting on the ledge he surveyed the valley beneath him and the sheep and cows grazing. The sun was rising higher in the cloudless sky beating its rays down on him to warm his old bones. So tired from climbing was he that he laid down on the warm rock and closed his eyes. He soon dozed off. When he opened his eyes again the sun was already past high noon. He was in the middle state between asleep and awake. The quiet of the mountain pleased Joachim. He was still lying on the rock gazing at the sky when he heard words. He couldn’t discern whether the sound came into his ears from outside or up through his heart; it was a very distinct message. Joachim heard, “Your seed will deliver your soul from Sheol and you will live with Me forever.” The message was short and clear, but he had no conception of what it could mean?

 Joachim sat up alert for more words that didn’t come. He surveyed the valley beneath him and then mustered the energy to descend. While making his way back down Joachim could not forget the message, neither could he meditate about what it meant while searching for a stable place to land each foot lest he fall with no one to hear his cries.

As for the strange message, Joachim wanted the right time and place to think about it. Descending the mountain was more difficult than the climb. He was continually trying to keep from sliding on the dusty earth and falling, even with the aid of his walking stick. The hot sun made him feel dizzy. He needed water. “Oh this old carcass, how long must I endure your feebleness?” said Joachim to himself. If Joachim had been aware of his guardian angel helping him every step of the way, he wouldn’t have been so anxious. When he reached the foot of the mountain, he didn’t even pause, but went straight to the well for refreshing water.

After quenching his thirst Joachim walked over to the temple to sit before going home.

Inside, the temple was dark and cool and empty. The young men were out in the fields or at their work in the village.

While sitting in the cool room he got the sense it would not be long before he would join his parents in Sheol. The vale between life and death was becoming more opaque, to the point that he couldn’t remember who was still alive and who had passed on of his friends and relatives. His mother and father visited him more frequently. They weren’t always memories or dreams, their visits were something else. He felt their presence. Are they coming to take him?

He wondered whether this next visit to Mary would be his last. As he walked home Joachim looked down at the dusty hard ground and for the first time regarded the earth as his true home, where his old bones would rest until the earth is no more. He felt no fear. He was grateful for his life, and for his wife and daughter, and he prayed in thoughts that the Lord would care well for them in his absence. Yes, sending Mary to the temple, as much as it grieved him and still does, Joachim knew that the separation was right. That Anna was wise to give her up.  Her precious life would not be changed when he died. Hopefully their love for each other would be as strong, if not stronger in his absence. Perhaps he would still be able to visit her and watch over her. But Anna. Oh my Anna, all these years....

 With that thought Joachim found himself at his front door again.

 “You have been gone all day! Are you okay my dear? Come inside and let me feed you. Let’s wash our hands together. Supper is ready.”

Joachim smiled at how oblivious she was to the reality that he had been facing. He wanted it that way. Let the Lord prepare her as He did himself.

Finally, the day came when Joachim and Anna were to take their journey to Jerusalem and to the big Temple to visit their little girl. She was just ten years old. Every time they went she looked so different. She grew so fast. And yet she was still the same pensive sweet Mary they gave birth to and they loved with all their hearts and souls. Now that sweet child was being filled with knowledge of the Lord, of the psalms, and of the law. They were so impressed by her depth and her humility for such a young person. They wondered what they would find, how much Mary will have blossomed this time.

 Perched on their own camels in the caravan it was impossible to speak but Joachim had so much to say to Anna. It was difficult for him to stay upright on the camel. He was worried that he wouldn’t be able to make the trip again. Without visits to Mary he was as already dead.

While bobbing up and down on the camel, Joachim was reminded of the message by his extreme thirst like that of that day on the mountain. But this time he had a skin of water with him. He just needed the caravan to stop so he could take a drink. Still thirsty he spent the hollow time of travel thinking about the message of his seed and deliverance. He didn’t dare tell the priest, or any priest of the great temple for fear of being stricken down and sharply reprimanded for entertaining heretical notions. Instead, he wanted tell Anna. She wouldn’t chide him, and she might even be willing to talk about it with him. He wondered what she would think of it. No. He changed his mind. It was too strange, too boastful to even imagine such a thing. He had better not fill her mind with such notion of eternal life, whatever that meant. Besides, they only had one child, and a girl at that. No. He would keep the message to himself. If it was true that his soul could be delivered from Sheol, then he would be patient and wait, yes wait in hope that it is true, but he would tell no one.

At that moment the leader of the caravan rang his bell to indicate that they could stop and rest and drink their water. Joachim rolled off the donkey as an old man or a child would. But he landed on his feet and went straight for the skin of water, lifted it to his parched mouth and took five large swallows.

“You must have been might thirsty!” exclaimed Anna. “My turn.” And she reached her hand out for the water skin.

“I was.” replied Joachim handing her the pouch which was much lighter. “How much farther before we stop for the night?”

This had been the most difficult of all the trips the elderly couple had taken during the seven years that Mary lived in the temple. They tried to come often, every few months, but even Anna wondered how Joachim could make it. Perhaps, she thought, they should move to Jerusalem to be near her and if permitted, they could visit more often.  Anna kept this idea in her heart to discuss at the right time with Joachim.

When they finally arrived after the most arduous journey and settled in the room of the boarding house that had become so familiar, Joachim went directly to the bed and slept without even washing the dust off his body.

Meanwhile, Anna unpacked and left Joachim to sleep while she walked round the marketplace. It felt good to be off the camel and to stretch her legs.

The following morning the couple woke up together and quickly dressed to not waste a moment before being with their daughter.

Mary ran straight to her father and gave him a long hug. Tears whelled up in his old blue eyes, that he shut to feel her youth and her beauty and her joy. How she loved her father. He wasn’t worthy of such love. How could he be? Nevertheless, if it was the love of God that poured through this lovely young girl, then it was the strength of love itself, and that, he could accept. That love has a substance of its own, its own power, it’s own reality beyond the human heart, but is it a power that is as another of Gods creations, or is it a spit of God’s own essence?

As he observed Mary and Anna chatting cheerfully Joachim looked at his daughter and sensed that she would carry the whole world on her shoulders. How could this possibly be? He looked at his adorable ten year old, at the brink of her passage out of childhood and wondered if this notion was a gift, or was it perhaps a prophecy? He shook his head ruffling his white hair to rid himself of such speculations. Mary look curiously at her father. “What is it papa? Are you alright? May I get you something?”

“I am fine my darling. It is so good to be here with you. Tell me what you learned this week.”

 “Well!” replied Mary merrily, let me show you what I did! I’ll be right back!” She ran to her bed and opened the chest at the foot of the bed, found her embroidery and pull it out, messing the rest of the items to tidy up later. Then she ran back to her papa and showed him the most colorful embroidered cloth. “See! I did this all myself!”

“Anna looked on admiring her daughter’s handiwork and said, “I am sure that I couldn’t do any better!”

“Thank you mama. Papa do you like it?”

“Of course I do my dear. I have never seen such a colorful design. It looks like a field of summer flowers. How long did it take you to make this?”

“Oh! I’m not even finished yet. I want to give it to my friend Ruth who is an orphan. I’m her mother!”

Anna and Joachim smiled at each other and then looked over at Mary. Anna said, “How kind of you. Is Ruth a little girl like you were when you first arrived?”

“No mama,” replied Mary, she is much older and she is about to leave and be married, but she still needs a mother, and I will always be her mother.”

ALIVE: Chapter 94 The First Day

November 21st marked the day that Joachim and Anna will never forget. It was the day they left their baby girl at the temple to be raised by others. The first week was by far the most difficult. It was as if their precious little girl had left her spirit behind. As she went about her chores Anna kept feeling that Mary was simply in the other room, so accustomed she was to the presence of her baby. When she went to prepare her meals, she no longer needed to be mindful of what Mary liked to eat. Even her breasts swelled and ached although she had tried to wean her toddler gradually, and only nursed at bedtime, so reluctant was she to separate from her precious child. Every such thought was another little arrow that pierced her heart. But with every arrow, Anna fought back by praising the Lord for the years they had, and for the ability to visit.

 As difficult as the first weeks were for Anna, Joachim may have been even more sorrowful for this little girl was truly the light of his life. He often mused that there was something very special about her, perhaps that she reminded him of his own mother in a strange way, the look of admiration she caste on him with her striking eyes, or the shape of her smile. No, it wasn’t physical, he thought, it was something else. Joachim said to himself that surely all fathers must think this of their little girls, but he couldn’t stop thinking that this baby, this gift of God, was the most blessed, most glorious little girl in all the world, perhaps of all time. Oh, shameful to say, even in thoughts to himself, but he loved her and she loved her daddy so very much. It broke his heart to be away from her, to only have the memories of cuddling with her in the family bed. There was one day when he held her as an infant and she was so still in his arms, so very still. She was not asleep, but a sensation of deep and blessed peace fell upon him. She radiated peace into his soul. That moment was seared into his mind so that he could still feel it, even now, even miles of years away from that moment.  He who had never known how profound it would be to be a father, relished the role as protector and teacher, provider and guide. No one in the world looked up to him as did this little person. He had loved to have her sit on his lap, and he would tell her stories from his own boyhood. She listened so intently as if she needed to know every aspect of who her papa was and about his own childhood. Joachim knew those days were over, so prematurely and so abruptly. As if in an instant he felt that he had been devalued and devoid of the joy of his life. Joachim was ashamed before God for having these feelings. He slowly became resolved to this new chapter in his life, to looking forward to their visits. What could he bring her?

On her first night in the temple the house mother knew that little Mary needed comforting. She was a lovely and brave little girl, quiet and curious. She didn’t even cry when her parents left as so many of the children do, but this little girl humbly accepted the separation. Observing the new little girl at supper, wearing the expression of one who was as displaced as she was, she decided to mother her as her own. Oh yes, as a house mother she had through the years so many girls pass through the hallowed door of the temple. Some boisterous, some quiet, some mischievous, other cooperative, but this new little girl, just past her babyhood, with no siblings, and elderly parents was unique in some inexplicable way. Mary was unusually pensive for such a small child. She wanted to build an attachment so that Mary would be content in her new home with her new sisters and her new mother.

 “Mary, after supper, I’d like you to come to my apartment, okay? Ruth, please show her where it is.”

 “Yes, mam.” said the sweet slightly scared child.

 Ruth looked down at Mary to comfort her and cheer her up, because she had perceived that the child’s countenance had fallen again, she added very cheerfully, “Oh Mary, how lucky you are to be able to visit mother’s apartment so soon! You will love mother; she is so kind, and her apartment is so cozy. What a treat!”

 Mary looked up and smiled, “Okay.” and then returned to her plate of bread and fish, and hummus.

 When they were finished eating, the house mother stood followed by the girls around the long table. They bowed their heads to hear mother thanking God for his bounty and asking that they serve Him and worship Him well with their health and strength. When she finished the thanksgiving prayer, the girls added “Amen” and chanted a hymn with their lovely soprano voices. Moments of holy silence followed as each girl gave a personal prayer. Ruth broke the silence to say, “Come Mary, let’s go.” Obediently and somewhat stoically the reserved little girl followed the big girl out of the dining room and through a series of corridors until they reached a wide carved wooden door in the corner of the temple dormitories.

Ruth knocked gently on mother’s door. But there was no answer as mother hadn’t yet arrived from the dining hall, so the girls sat on the floor beside the door and waited for her.

“How long have you lived here Ruth?” asked Mary timidly. “Where are you from?”

“I was born in Jerusalem. My parents came here from Galilee to find work. My mother died of a terrible sickness when I was seven years old and my father couldn’t take care of me so he sent me here, but then last year he died too.” Drawn back into her anguish Ruth hesitated to say anything more.

Mary became very sad too, but grateful that her parents were still alive, and she could see them again. Mary scooted closer to Ruth and worked her way into the big girl’s lap. Ruth received her with a hug, and then Mary said the strangest thing. She said, “I will be your mother.” Ruth smiled at the little doll, hugged her back and replied, “That’s a deal! But don’t scold me too much!” The girls giggled together and then heard mother’s footsteps walking down the corridor.

“Hello girls, thank you Ruth. You may go to sewing class now. “Yes mam.” said Ruth with a curtsy and then a hug for Mary who tumbled out of her lap as she stood to leave. Ruth turned and disappeared into the long dark hall.

“Come inside darling.” said mother as she opened her door into a beautiful light-filled room with ornate carpets and comfortable-looking furniture. “This has been quite a day for you, hasn’t it? Would you like a fig?”

“No, thank you.”

“Please call me mother.”

At that, Mary was reminded of her mommy and the corners of her mouth dropped.

Mother noticed and said, “Let’s sit down together my dear and let me tell you a true story.”

Little Mary followed mother to her divan and climbed up to sit beside her. The two ladies faced each other, and mother began.

“Once upon a time a man named Elkanah had two wives. One wife had many children, but the other one had none. Her name was Hannah. Hannah was very sad. What made it worse was that the other wife was often mean to her because she was barren. One day they went to Shiloh to offer sacrifices to the Lord. Hannah begged God to give her a child.  She whispered, almost inaudibly, “O God of Israel, Lord of hosts, if only you will look on the misery of your servant, and remember me, and not forget your servant, but will give to your servant a male child, then I will set him before you as a Nazirite until the day of his death. He shall drink neither wine nor intoxicants, and no razor shall touch his head.”

When Eli, the priest, observed her mouth moving and heard no sound, he thought she looked as if she had had too much wine and scolded Hannah. She replied, “No, my Lord, I have had no wine, I am praying for a child.” And then she wept because she was so sad and desperate. Eli had compassion on poor Hannah and he promised her that God heard her prayer and that indeed after a year she would be with child. Hannah left the temple feeling content. Indeed, she gave birth to a beautiful baby boy whom she named Samuel, and whom she loved very much, just like your mother loves you!  Hannah was so very grateful that she said to husband, “As soon as the child is weaned, I will bring him that he may appear in the presence of the Lord, and remain there forever; I will offer him a Nazirite for all time.”

Her husband agreed but said that she had to wait until after he stopped feeding from her breasts, just like you. So, when her precious little boy who was your age went to live at the temple with Eli and his sons, just like you!”

Mary was fascinated by the story and wanted to hear more. Mother sensed her interest and continued.

“One night, years after he went to live in the temple with Eli and his sons, little Samuel was in bed and he thought he heard the priest Eli call him, so he got up and went to see what he wanted. Eli replied that he didn’t call him and told him to go back to bed. Samuel went back to bed and heard his name called again. He got up again and went to Eli, but again, Eli told Samuel to go back to bed. For the third time he heard his name called and for the third time Samuel got out of bed and went to see what Eli wanted. This time Eli perceived that it was the Lord God who had been calling Samuel so Eli said to Samuel, “Go, lie down; and if he calls you, you shall say, ‘Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening.’” So, Samuel went back to his bed, this time to hear what the Lord wanted to say to him.”

Mary’s eyes opened wide wondering what the Lord wanted to say to Samuel.

Mother went on. “The Lord told Samuel what would happen to Eli and his sons. It wasn’t good. The next morning Eli asked Samuel what God told him. Samuel was afraid to tell Eli the bad news, but Eli insisted, and Eli accepted the word from God. And that was the story of the child Samuel who became a great prophet of the Lord!”

Mother looked cheerfully at Mary whose face suddenly glowed with a big smile and rosy cheeks.

As Samuel grew up, the Lord was with him and let none of his words fall to the ground. And all Israel knew that Samuel was a trustworthy prophet of the Lord.

Our Lord used Samuel to appoint the king of Israel when the people demanded a king so they could be like their neighbors. Samuel, by the guidance of God selected King Saul, and then King David, your great great grandfather! You see my dear when the mother, like Hannah and your blessed mother gives her child to the Lord to be raised, it is very special because God needs and wants people here on earth to do His will and His work. It is a very great sacrifice for mommies and daddies to give their child, God knows this. He knows how much your daddy and mommy miss you and you miss them, and that sadness is turned to gold by the Lord, because it is the gold of Love and Trust and He blesses the mommy and the child.”

“Did God bless Hannah?”

“Yes, my dear, Hannah was blessed with many more children.”

“Did Samuel’s mommy and daddy visit him?”

“Yes, they went to visit him every year and brought him new clothes.”

“Will my mommy have more children too?”

“I don’t think so my dear. Your mommy is much older than Hannah was.”

“Will God use me to do something special for Him?”

“I can’t say Mary. That is not something to think about now. All we want to do here is to learn and love. Now are you ready for a fig?”

“Yes mother.”

Mother got up from the divan and walked over to her cupboard still thinking about the prophet Samuel and how difficult it must have been for him, and for this precious young child to be separated from their own mothers. As she reached for the bowl of sweet ripe figs a flash of light like a tiny lightning bolt zipped passed her eyes and vanished. At first this phenomenon startled her, but as the moments passed and nothing else happened, she quickly returned to select the largest juiciest fig for her new little daughter, and one for herself.

Mary had not seen the light. She was looking around the large room curiously. It was the most majestic room she had ever seen. In her precious young heart, sitting in mother’s room and hearing about Samuel, Mary got the first inkling that she belonged there and that it was okay to be separated from her parents. She looked over at mother walking towards her with a loving smile and the fig and felt a strange sense of peace. She was no longer sad nor scared.

“Come let’s eat them together. This one is called an egg-fig because it is the shape of an egg. Would you like me to peel it for you?”

“Yes please.” replied Mary.

As she was peeling, Mother said, “There are so many wonderful things you will learn here. We will teach you to sing and to sew, and to tell the stories of the Torah. There are so many stories that teach us about God’s s love for people and His plan for his people Israel.”

Mother looked down at the fig and over at the precious child in front of her and thought how little Mary, only three years old, was as pure and fresh as this ripe fig. A droplet of the white milk of the fig brought to mother’s mind Mary’s mother’s milk that so recently nourished the child with her self-sacrificing love and gratitude to her Lord. As she peeled away the tender green skin of nature, she uncovered the fleshy white layer as the look of the soft boiled egg, a symbol of new life, appeared and splitting it in half mother handed Mary one half at a time of the sweet juicy red flesh of the fig.  So, mother perceived in this child layer upon layer of delight, of discovery, and of life. She was so grateful to have the role as mother to so many young girls, some of them orphans, some from impoverished families, and of course from time to time, a child comes along who is given as a gift to God. The young ones were indeed the most precious and taught her the most about love and trust. Surely to be a child that loves, and trusts the Lord must be perfection.

Mary received the peeled fig and as she bit into thought it was the sweetest fig she had ever eaten in her whole life. “Mmmmm good!”

Mother nodded then slightly shook her head out of the daydream and smiled at the little girl whose whole demeanor had brightened. Mother knew at that moment that she had succeeded in welcoming the little lamb into her fold.

“Now Mary, when you finish your fig, let’s walk over to meet Lady Elizabeth who will teach you how to sew! Would you like that?”

“Okay. Can I come back and visit you again?”

“Oh yes, of course my dear child. I am your mother here. We will have many visits as you grow up. Now, let’s be off. I think Lady Elizabeth looks forward to meeting you.”

Mary took mother’s outstretched hand and together they walked out of the apartment while Mary wondered that perhaps she could be happy in this place even if her parents were far away. In a subliminal non-verbal flash the young child realized that she didn’t have to see her mommy and daddy to know how much they loved her and wanted God’s will, not their own, for her. And how maybe, God’s will was far better, bigger and richer than what she wanted, which was to live forever with her mommy and daddy in their little home in the village. It was a glimpse of the possibilities of life that the little child received with that visit; it was a door cracked open pouring sunlight into a dim corridor.

That night as mother lay in bed waiting for sleep to come, she was reminded of the flash of light she saw and she wondered about it. How it must have been uncreated light since it didn’t come from the sun or a candle. Was it a spit of the uncreated light of the first day? But where did it come from, and why? Perhaps it was a message from God. This had never happened before. Mother tried to silence her heart to listen for an explanation and soon fell asleep.

On Mary’s first night sleeping in the big dormitory surrounded by beds with other girls, she clutched her stuffed doll. Her mind was spinning from all the brand-new experiences of the day. Strangely, her little heart felt at peace. When she imagined going back to her village and her parent’s little home, it wasn’t with yearning at all. She felt that she had crossed a great chasm, maybe like the Red Sea, into a new big world. She thanked God in her heart for guiding her into His temple and then gently fell into a deep dreamless sleep. She thanked God too for her new mother. Her guardian angel smiled with pride and joy that the transition went so well. The angel too looked forward to the years ahead where the angel would shield this princess of God from the evils of the world, along with the mother and with the help of all the heavenly host angels, together they would see to that.  

ALIVE: Chapter 87, Magnificent King David

I can’t enter the mind and emotions of mature King David as I could imagine them when he was a boy, or even as with the other Patriarchs: Noah, Abraham, and Moses; I can only consider the events of David’s turbulent life as king in wonder at the complexity of the man who at the same time had both the brutal power of a killer and the tender soul of a monk.

How, I wonder, does our Almighty God proclaim this son of Jesse to be “a man after His own heart.” God pulled this young man out of throngs of boys and set him on an earthly throne as a model for all of us aspiring immortals; to show us what it means to be a man in the bleak world but of God. David was and is the standard bearer as a person who is ALIVE.

David is the first king of kings.

This man of war and women, who deeply loved his children was also the greatest poet in human history. No poems are as familiar, and as revered, as the 23rd Psalm, “the Lord is my Shepherd”, or the 51st Psalm, “Have mercy on me o’ God,” or “Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it.” That David was in many ways a child of The Most High God cannot be denied when reading the treasury of psalms that we have inherited from him. These psalms are medicine for the soul. Often, they become messages from God in times of trouble and confusion, and they rejoice with us in times of awe and gratitude.

Because David is such a special man, it is worth studying his decisions and responses to a great variety of circumstances, and to see how God fathered him. We make our own destinies through our decisions. Life certainly is an exercise in Cause and Effect. Each of us forges our own path through the one life we have, and if that leads us into a wilderness, frightening, dark and filled with sadness then we only need to look for the light of the sun and follow it up and out. The light of God, like the sun, is always there. He illuminates the right path for those humble enough to ask for it, then to see it and be guided through the wilderness of the brief and turbulent life on earth. David is a prime example of this.  Though he encountered difficulties innumerable, heartache, passions, nevertheless he reached deep within his heart to seek the light which is God, and to cling to Him, and in return God always led him out of the wilderness and loved him.

When Michelangelo was commissioned to carve the statue of David in marble, he produced the image of a perfect form, a perfect young man in the full bloom of life. By artfully sculpting perfection in David, Michelangelo asks us to translate the physical David into the man of God David.

To be a man after God’s own heart, God who made us in His glorious, light-filled image and likeness, who demonstrated Himself to be loving, reasonable, and tolerant, but demanding and fatherly, accepted David and fathered him. When David had Uriah the Hittite killed by sending him to the battlefront without back-up so that he may take his wife, and when the prophet Nathan made him aware of the severity of his transgression two things happened. David sincerely repented and he was punished. The punishment was that he would be a warrior for the rest of his life. Because his life was consumed by battles of kill or be killed, he was not free to do the one thing he wanted most to do, which was to build the Temple as a glorious home for the Ark and for God. 

God, the wise Father, did not allow David to build his Temple, just as He didn’t allow Moses to enter the Promise Land, and He didn’t allow Saul to remain king. Decisions have consequences. Repentance does not ensure reversal of the consequences or release from punishments in this earth-phase of life.

David was the Adam who trusted God. Did David trust God as much as Abraham who was willing to sacrifice his son Isaac? Yes, and more. David trusted God so much that he boldly offered himself in the battle with Goliath, and like Isaac was saved from annihilation. David spoke to and heard from God as did Moses.

David, with all his faults, but with all his humility received the highest honor of all which was to be the forefather of God’s Son, of God incarnate: Jesus Christ.

For you and me, David is a steppingstone to Christ. He is the nearest stone over the fast running brook, and he is flat and wide, and as big as Goliath’s foot.

One sad day David died. His family and all of Israel mourned. They whaled and they cried. His son Solomon, the second son of the wife of his biggest sin, rose to inherit David’s throne. Solomon was half the man his father was simply because, for all his wisdom, he was not humble or obedient to the law as David. Solomon shows us how a man can have all the Wisdom of the world, and all of its wealth, but without humility and obedience he is as dead.

Chapter 83 The David-Seed Buds

Never was a shepherd more content with his life than when young David returned to the pasturelands and to his innocents.

In those days he strummed his lyre for himself and for the Lord. Barely aware of the hot sun beating down on him, David entered a cooling world of tones deep as a canyon and sharp as broken crystal. The harmonies that he was creating joined fingered-strings to his ears and to his invisible heart, the triumvirate communicating purely with its Creator. There was no dissonance there, no haughtiness, no rancor, not even pride in his talent.

The moment when he spotted a stray sheep David spun out of that ethereal  place and gently set down the lyre to guide the lamb back to the fold. From the contrast of sudden silence David understood how and why the sounds of the lyre were medicine for the king.   

How Satan must flee from pure beauty and harmony.  How offensive it must be for the tormentor to be rendered impotent. 

Quickly David re-focused on his duty to his sheep. His own thirst reminded him to drive the flock to a pond, and for himself to find a shade tree. He knew just the spot and skillfully drove his party to relief from the hot sun.

The young keeper of the sheep was oblivious to the battles taking place furlongs past the sounds of them for the Lord being David’s shepherd fed him in still pastures. Here David was maturing from within as the grape evolves into a tawny port slowly and imperceptibly except to the angels.

When the blistering sun descended gently behind the mountains David gathered his satchel and lyre, picked up his staff, and called to his lambs that it was time to go home.

Oh how he loved Bethlehem. Would that he never had to leave it. Yet, the arrangement his father made with the king was that he could go back and forth from palace to pasture to tend their sheep. The next day, was to be a day of return to Saul.

After David had placed his sheep safely in their corral he rushed inside for supper. His mother appeared distressed as she was stirring the stew that she had spent her day preparing. Her hands trembled and her head bowed low in silent prayer.

“What is it mother? Where is father and my brothers? Have I returned too soon?” David respectfully did not question the trembling hands or trickling tears that moistened her cheeks.

“No my love, your father will be present shortly, but I cannot say if or when your brothers will return. The Philistine are on the rampage. Morning and evening since you left they come to take their stand. They would have us destroyed or become their slaves. Your brothers are on the field of battle now. I am troubled lest I loose one of my precious sons to Sheol.

Cheerfully David responded, “This means I don’t have to go to the palace tomorrow!”

David hugged his mother tightly and with increased solemnity added, “Mother, trust in God and do not fret. Shall we pray together as we did when I was a boy? How often you soothed me as I listened to you speaking with Yahweh as you would speak to your father.” David did not realize that  comparing Yahweh to a father had never been uttered, or even thought of before that moment. It was a concept born of the Spirit deep within David’s innocent core. Even his grieving mother did not notice. 

At that moment Jesse entered the room and the conversation quickly turned to the more pragmatic condition of the sheep and if they had had enough food and water. Father and son gravitated to the table for supper where mother was setting down bowls of her aromatic lamb stew. Together the family gave thanks and then dined in silence, solemnly awaiting the brothers return.

While chewing bread Jesse said, “If Eliab and your other brothers do not return by daybreak, I want you to take for them an ephah of parched grain and ten loaves, and carry them quickly to the camp to your brothers; also take those ten cheeses over there to the commander of their thousand. See how your brothers fare, and bring some token from them.” Jesse said that to soothe his wife as well as to feed his sons.

“But where will I find them?” asked David.

“I will go into the village and inquire.”

“Yes father.”

That evening Jesse learned that Saul and all the men of Israel, were encamped in the valley of Elah.

David rose at first light, gathered the provisions into his satchel, and went as his father had commanded him. As he drew near Elah he first heard, then followed the shouts of the war cry to find the army going forth to the battle line between Elah and Ephes-dammin where the Philistines camped. The opposing armies thrust themselves at each other in the valley between two mountains.

Israel and the Philistines drew up for battle, army against army. David left his satchel in charge of the keeper of the baggage, ran to the ranks, and went to find and greet his brothers.

Just as he spotted a brother and was approaching him, David looked up to see a giant of a man who had emerged into the front from the camp of the Philistines. Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at this monster in awe.

His height was six cubits and a span. He had a helmet of bronze on his head, and he was armed with a coat of mail; the weight of the coat looked to be five thousand shekels of bronze. He had greaves of bronze on his legs and a javelin of bronze slung between his shoulders. The shaft of his spear was like a weaver’s beam, and his spear’s head looked to weigh six hundred shekels of iron.

Jaws of the Jews dropped at the site of this giant.

At the front, the giant stood like a greater than life-size statue. Sound of voices, even of heavy breathing suddenly stopped. The giant’s voice moved into the opening his form made for him and shouted to the ranks of Israel, “I am Goliath! Why have you come out to draw for battle? Am I not a Philistine and are you not servants of Saul?” The sound of his bellows wafted loud and clear for yards around so that every Jew and every Philistine knew exactly what he said. This giant and enemy was about to disarm them with the threat of his words before he crushed them like ants. 

“Choose a man for yourselves, and let him come down to me,” he bellowed like thunder. Then the lightening of his words struck, “If he is able to fight with me and kill me, then we will be your servants; but if I prevail against him, then you shall be our servants and serve us. Today I defy the ranks of Israel! Give me a man, that we may fight together.”  The eyes of the giant scanned the ranks of Israel’s piercing wide eyes under furrowed brows and stabbed repeatedly at their hearts.

Saul and all Israel heard the words of the Philistine with dismay and great fear. 

Full of self satisfaction, Goliath turned around to leave, stomping through the crowd of cheerful Philistines back to his camp to rest-up.

Israel watched with relief this head above heads drift farther away from them. Goliath left his pathetic enemy to fret and to plan their response.

Once they saw the giant leave, Israel turned and fled back to the shelter of their own home base. Brothers in battle yielded to brothers in terror. All of their fighting was as nothing if just one man could lose the war for their entire nation. They had no giant to match this monster. Some men wondered what slavery would be like. Would they take their wives and children? No one spoke of these fears, they quietly chewed them over and over, like tough tasteless meat, in their anxious hearts.

A commander of Saul’s army passed through the camp loudly proclaiming, “The king will greatly enrich the man who kills Goliath and will give him his daughter and make his family free in Israel. Which one of you will fight for our freedom?”

Aminadab snickered and said to his brother, “As if anyone could. What good is a reward that is impossible to win? Why does he not offer us his whole kingdom?” Eliab nodded nervously.

David, who was looking for his brothers heard the offer and said to the men standing by him, “What did he say shall be done for the man who kills this Philistine, and takes away the reproach from Israel? For who is this uncircumcised Philistine that he should defy the armies of the living God?”

Two men shrugged and answered David in unison, “His daughter, and freedom shall be given for the man who kills him.”

His eldest brother Eliab spotted David and heard him.  Eliab’s anger was kindled against David. He said, “Why have you come down? With who have you left those few sheep in the wilderness? I know your presumption and the evil of your heart; for you have come down just to see the battle.”

David replied, “What have I done now? It was only a question?” He turned away from Eliab toward another and spoke in the same way; and the people answered him again as before.

When the words of faith in God that David spoke were heard, the relieved commander went directly before Saul to let him know that they had a volunteer. Saul immediately sent for him. David said to Saul, “Let no one’s heart fail because of him; your servant will go and fight with this Philistine.”

Saul looked at his young shepherd and lyre-player, smiled and said to David, “You are not able to go against this Philistine to fight him; for you are just a boy, and he has been a warrior from his youth.”

David answered Saul, “Your servant used to keep sheep for his father; and whenever a lion or a bear came, I took a lamb from the flock, I went after it and struck it down, rescuing the lamb from its mouth; and if it turned against me, I would catch it by the jaw, strike it down, and kill it. Your servant has killed both lions and bears; and this uncircumcised Philistine shall be like one of them since he has defied the armies of the living God.” David added, “The Lord, who saved me from the paw of the lion and from the paw of the bear will save me from the hand of this Philistine.”

Saul carefully considered David’s argument and wondered if it could be true. Then he weighed his options. David or immediate surrender. Saul said to David, “Go, and may the Lord be with you!”

To this day no one knows whether Saul had faith that the living God could prevail through David, or if rather Saul figured that either he would surrender immediately and be enslaved, or that he could buy some time by sacrificing the shepherd, since no one, especially himself, the king, was willing to die at the hands of Goliath. For either reason, Saul put all of his chips on the child.

Let us believe the best, that by allowing the boy to fight Goliath, Saul showed as much faith in God as David did. Saul knew how high the stakes were because, if David was wrong and lost, all of them, even the king, would become slaves of the Philistines, their women defiled, their children made to worship idols.

With his own hands Saul carefully covered David with his armor; he put a bronze helmet on his head and clothed him with a coat of mail. David strapped Saul’s sword over the armor and tried to walk, for he was not used to them. Then David said to Saul, “I cannot walk with these; for I am not used to them.” So David removed them. Then he took his staff in his hand, and chose five smooth stones from the wadi and put them in his shepherd’s bag, in the pouch. When done he picked up the sling and said, “Where is that giant Philistine?”

Eliazer ran ahead to the camp of the Philistine and told them that Israel was ready.

Goliath reappeared out of the mass of Philistines and drew near to David with his shield bearer in front of him. Goliath looked at David with disdain for he was only a youth, ruddy and handsome in appearance. The Philistine said to David, “Am I a dog that you come to me with sticks?” And Goliath cursed David by his gods. The Philistine said to David, “ Come to me and I will give your flesh to the birds of the air and to the wild animals of the field.”

But David replied, “You come to me with sword and spear, but I come to you in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. This very day the Lord will deliver you into my hand, and I will strike you down and cut off your head, and I will give the dead bodies of the Philistine army this very day to the birds of the air and to the wild animals of the earth, so that all the earth may know that there is a God in Israel, and that all this assembly may know that the Lord does not save by the sword and spear, for the battle is the Lord’s and He will give you into my hand.”

Goliath ejaculated a hearty laugh. Then he drew near to meet David; in turn David bravely plunged toward the battle line to meet Goliath. David put his hand in his bag, took out a stone, slung it, and struck the Philistine on his forehead, and he immediately fell face down on the ground.

So David prevailed over the Philistine with a sling and a stone, striking Goliath and killing him. There was no sword in David’s hand. Then David ran and stood over Goliath, he grasped his sword, and drew it out of its sheath, and killed him, then he cut off his head with it.

When the Philistines saw that their champion was dead, they fled. The troops of Israel and Judah rose up with a shout and pursued the Philistines as far as Gath. 

ALIVE: Chapter 82 Meeting Saul

Now the spirit of the Lord departed from Saul, and an evil spirit from the Lord  tormented him.  And Saul’s servants said to him, “See now, an evil spirit from God has tormented you. Let our Lord now command the servants who attend you to look for someone who is skillful in playing the lyre; and when the evil spirit from God is upon you, he will play it, and you will feel better.”

So Saul said to his servants, “Provide for me someone who can play well, and bring him to me.”

One of the young men answered, I have seen a son of Jesse the Bethlehemite who is skillful in playing, a man of valor, a warrior, prudent in speech, and a man of good presence, and the Lord is with him.

So Saul sent messengers to Jesse. They found him working in his wood shop. One of the young messengers, like a fanned out peacock full of authority and pride demanded of Jesse, “Send to Saul the king your son David who is with the sheep. Tell him to bring his lyre. Tell him to come with us now.”

“Wait here, I will fetch my son. Mother will take care of you.” Jesse went straight away to find David in the south pasture where he sent him that morning.

“David!” called Jesse from afar when he first spotted him. “Come here !”

David ran over to his father wondering if there had been an emergency with his mother. “What is it father?”

“Two messengers from King Saul have come for you. The king is suffering and needs to hear you play your lyre to soothe him. Get cleaned up, pack and go with them. This is the Lord’s doing.”

“What does this mean father?”

“Observe and serve King Saul. You are a lowly young shepherd of Bethlehem. Look at this invitation as nothing more than the first step of climbing the mountain of the Lord. Go in peace and in prayer my son.”

Together David and Jesse rounded up the sheep and steered them back to their corral.

Father and son walked silently to their home as if walking backward through time and ending up in a mysterious future. Each man filled with his own thoughts and fears translating them into prayer to the Lord dared not speak.”

Meanwhile, David’s mother had prepared a meal for the messengers who waited patiently for David’s arrival so they could return to their distressed king. She prayed while preparing the food.”Lord, may my son and Yours become worthy to lead your Holy people Israel. Teach him and guide him. I see your hand upon him now and I give you glory, honor, praise and worship.” A tear spilled out of the mother’s eye as she became overwhelmed by the significance of this first step since the anointing by Samuel. Through the prayer of her heart this daughter of Judah burst out of the small and dusty village of Bethlehem and into the luminous clean heavens where God heard her and answered her with peace.

With the sheep safely in their pen, Jesse, and then David entered their home and nodded to the strangers, “Greetings, I will soon be ready.” David washed his face and hands in the sink bowl and changed his clothes. Then he gathered some fresh clothes and placed them in a cloth satchel.

While the messengers were eating, Jesse took a donkey and loaded it with bread, a skin of wine, and a kid to send to the king along with his youngest son David.

David, with the confidence of a child of God, not of a man educated and wise in his own eyes, set out for the journey with the messengers and the kid, and his lyre to meet King Saul, whom the prophet Samuel said he would replace.

David was glad to have the lamb walking beside him, his father’s gift to the king. He wondered if this lamb would become a sacrifice of Saul, to carry his sins and to be slaughtered. Certainly, thought David innocently, the sins of Saul must be great for God to want to replace him. He had no idea of why Saul was to be replaced, and neither did Saul. Walking beside the lamb to meet the king David felt chills run down his spine when it occurred to him, that he too was as the lamb being offered to Saul to free him from the torment of his sin. David was as a bloodless sacrifice whose life was about to be altered.

With every step David felt a layer of childhood peel away from his consciousness. A stream of questions came to his mind. Will Saul love him or kill him? Will his sheep back home be well cared for in his absence? Will they wonder where he is?”

David arrived at the palace and looked around in awe. The shepherd boy had never before seen such opulence. Before he could adjust to the grandeur of the space, David was immediately whisked into the parlor where Saul lay on a divan being fanned by his servants. A muscular, nearly naked guard announced their arrival. Another servant pointed to the seat for David. David bowed to the king and sat and lifted his lyre to his lap and plucked a few strings to wake it up. Then he played a melody he composed one hot afternoon after the discovery of a pond he had not known about. The kids were particularly playful that day. All was right with the world. David hoped to convey the joy of that moment through the sounds of his lyre, to his ailing king.

The sound of the lyre struck David as rounder and deeper and so much louder than it ever sounded in the fields, as if it had matured as an instrument. The music transported him back to the fields where he started the day and then boomeranged him back to the luxurious room and the presence of the powerful king. The tones high and low wafted through the air saturating it with its healing power. 

David had been playing for a little over an hour when King Saul stood up, flashed the boy a grateful smile and departed the room. David stopped playing immediately and an attendant promptly ushered David to a room with many beds. David set his satchel and lyre on his new bed and took his first good look around at the unusual surroundings.

When another servant entered the room with a full armor for David, he didn’t know what to think. He had only come to play his lyre, now he is given a bed and an armor. David said out loud for anyone to hear, “Will I stay here? My sheep are waiting for me. Who will tend them?”

“Sire, your sheep are not your concern. The king needs you. He has enrolled you in his service. When you aren’t playing for him, you will be an armor bearer. The food is good here; you will not be uncomfortable.”

David wondered how this person could tell him how he would feel.

For the next seven days David was on stand-by. Whenever the evil spirit from God came upon Saul, David was sent for. He would then fetch his lyre and played it with his hand, and Saul would be relieved and felt better, and the evil spirit would depart from him. This ability to relieve him from the evil spirit gave David power over the king. Saul both needed and resented David for this power. David felt like a prisoner. He both admired and feared the king.

One day, a full moon after David left Bethlehem for the king’s palace, his father Jesse arrived looking for him.

David happened to be outside but within the compound. When he saw his father approaching, he ran up to greet him.

“Oh father, I have never been so glad to see anyone. How are you? How is mother?”

“We are well. Why are you still here?”

“The king needs me often. I must stay and play the lyre, and when I am not playing I have become an armor bearer. I have no say in the matter. I am in the king’s service. How are my sheep? How I long to return to my fields, and to ...” David wanted to say “mother” but he held back to keep this longing in his heart.

Father and son walked into the palace together, David showed his father around the massive building. Jesse too had never been in such a grand edifice before.

Saul had heard of the arrival of Jesse and went out to greet him. Jesse bowed before the king who said, “Let David remain in my service, for he has found favor in my sight.”

“We need him too, my lord. I pray thee to allow this young man to go back and forth to feed his sheep and so his mother can savor his youth.”

Saul who had a beloved a son of his own, and was feeling better, acquiesced to Jesse’s request. “He may leave with you for a few days provided he return.”

David was the first to say, “Thank you my lord!” Saul turned around without acknowledging the father’s or the son’s gratitude and left the room.

“Let’s go now!” David said to his father.

Father and son quickly departed, lest the king have a change of heart. God withdrew the evil spirit from Saul to allow David to return to his mother.

David was so glad to be home again. When he spotted his mother rushing towards him with wide and longing arms David’s heart skipped a beat. In their embrace each soul felt the heartbeat of the other so that neither mother nor son knew which beat was their own. Warm moments later they released each other for a good long look. Never had they been apart for so long.

Then David took leave from his mother to see his flock and allow her to prepare the family meal.

The feast was ready. All the brothers came into the home in ones and twos to greet their baby brother and to eat supper. The oldest, Eliab, embraced his youngest brother for the first time. David was caught off guard and didn’t know whether it was because he was missed or because of some change in status that his time at the palace had given him. Nevertheless, David relished his brother’s love and returned it.

The next morning David awoke at first light and dressed quickly. He could not wait another minute to take his sheep out to pasture. His soul thirsted for the solitude, the conditions in which he communed best with God. David needed this time to digest his experience at the palace.

For the first few hours David’s mind was a whirl of memories and new thoughts. Thoughts of all the people in the palace and their roles and the hierarchy and rules of behavior. It had all been so foreign and so uncomfortable for him.

David was straddling a new frightening life and an old comfortable one, and he was glad to be back in his old home, if only for a little while. The kids surrounding him sensed his emotional tumult and hovered closer to him than usual smelling the earth and munching the grass. Days passed in his beloved old routine. He was all the more content and grateful for the shepherd’s life than ever before.

ALIVE: ​Chapter 81, Boy to Man

As David’s boyish body gradually morphed into a muscular manly one, his soul was ripening like a sweet and juicy pear from days and nights of communing alone with God. His active mind sprouted words of love nurtured by the rich soil of his soul, the most exhilarating poetry the world has ever known.

One refreshing spring day after Passover he composed:

The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want.

In green grass He will make me encamp.

He leads me beside still waters.

He restores my soul.

He leads me in the path of righteousness for his Name’s sake.

Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death

I will fear no evil,

For Thou art with me.

Thy rod and Thy staff, they comfort me.

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of my enemies.

Thou annointest my head with oil.

My cup runneth over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life,

And I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

David’s companions were the sheep. He had two favorite sheep that came up to him often and with smiling eyes spoke to him silent words of animal love, without expectation of anything more than the subtle joy of experiencing life and the generosity of nature. Only these two sheep among the herd recognized the spirit of their shepherd as warming as the sun and as luminous. The sheepdogs all recognized it, but only two of the sheep. Their lack of human intelligence didn’t keep these animals from bonding to their young shepherd.

Day after day, some long and still, some shortened by dramatic moments as when a lamb fell into a ravine, or when they were all thirsty and didn’t know when or where they would find water on this first trek to Hebron. For this flock was being lead by a novice and so sometimes they had to suffer together.

One day many months into his solitary role as shepherd, as the sunset dimmed the definitions of day, a blur was spotted by a sheepdog. The shock caused dogs and sheep to emit a cacophony of loud harsh blasts the likes of which this serene wilderness rarely contained. David scanned the vista for the source of such fear and spotted the lone lion stealthily approaching his sheep. Great fear like the man-child had never known ignited in his heart as he grappled for instruction from his inner Mentor. Seconds passed like days as the lion nabbed one of his two lamb-friends and was hungrily eating it alive oblivious to the piercing sounds around him and the hardness of its bones in his mouth.

David’s grief turned into controlled fury. While the lion chewed, David leaped upon it and with his dagger stabbed the lion in his chest. The lion, not immediately affected by the wound thrashed at David with its inborn sense power and dominance. David wrestled the lion with his own sense of responsibility and managed to pull the dagger out for one more stab which penetrated so deeply that it stuck in the craw of the lion’s armpit. The rapid blood loss gradually slowed the lion down, but not without first tearing at David’s skin with the nails of its paws. David squirmed out of the lion’s weakening grasp. With sheep parts still in its mouth the strong lion jaw could not engage in the battle with the boy.

With sheep dogs still barking ferociously David released himself from the weakened lion. The dogs formed the second line of defense and went in for the kill, knowing they would reap the spoils of this battle with enough meat to keep their bellies full for days.

The sheep corralled themselves into one mass of wool and looked on the fray sheepishly as they were unable in any way to protect or defend themselves. When He made them God gave lambs no sense of malice, hot anger, or retaliation. And it was for this reason that they were chosen among all the animals made on the sixth day of creation to receive the sins of others.

Following that incident David was in desperate need of rest. While most of the dogs were gorging themselves on the lion’s body, two others licked David’s wounds as he lay resting and praying.

“My God Who saved me from the jaw of the lion, You are indeed a mighty God, a mighty and powerful God, more powerful than the lion, mightier than death. You sacrificed my precious lamb to show me how able you are. You saved me from the mouth of the lion, and from doubt of your love and your abilities. I will always trust You, I will always from this moment forth serve you. Never let me stray.” David fell into a deep and healing sleep surrounded by his sheep who out of either respect or fear needed to be near their savior.

That star-filled night was particularly warm. A thick breeze swirled around the brave young man embracing him with the earthy spirit of nature. David slept soundly, so soundly that his mother visited him in his dreams to comfort him and let him know how very proud she was to have a son who didn’t run away from the lion devouring his sheep. In his sleep David heard his mother chanting a lullaby. Warm as the breeze and melodious as chimes.

David woke refreshed. By morning the trauma had morphed into a harmless tale, like a piece of iridescent quartz that the boy could drop into his pocket and feel from time to time for the pleasure of its sparkles. The light of that stone shined through his fingers in the darkness of the pocket and radiated into his heart and comforted him, and the comfort was restorative.

It took about a week before David stopped trembling over the memory of the lion that grabbed one of his favorite lambs. Both he and the remaining lamb grieved their loss together. The memory of the sight of his playful and lovable companion in the lion’s jaws tormented him. David decided it was time to go home. He had been out long enough.

The mass that was David and his dogs and his sheep, like a mass of bees moved slowly back to Bethlehem chewing its way through pastures and fields, and walking more quickly across the wadi.

One hot afternoon in the distance David saw a spot approaching quickly. Whether on horse or camel I cannot say. Eventually the spot was close enough for David to recognize his brother Aminadab.

“What are you doing here Aminadab?! Is mother well?”

“Mother is well. A prophet name of Samuel has come to Bethlehem, to Father. They sent me to fetch you. The prophet brought a heifer to sacrifice and he wants all of the sons of Jesse and all the elders to gather for the sacrifice. Let’s go!”

“But even me? Why?”

“Don’t ask any questions. Let’s get these sheep home. No more grazing. They are fat enough for now. Can I help you carry anything?”

David, curious and calm looked at his sheep and his dogs and gave the signal to step it up. Aminadab gave David no further reason for his immediate return.

When they arrived the next day Aminadab said, “Go inside, I will coral the sheep.”

David walked into his home and saw a stranger talking with his father. The two men looked up and in unison smiled and greeted him with a spirit of joy and respect that David had never known. He looked beyond the men and spotted his mother beaming and smiling. He sensed that he shouldn’t run to hug her as he wanted.

“David, this man is Samuel. He is a prophet. In fact, he is the prophet that anointed Saul king over us.”

Samuel looked upon David and noticed how handsome he was. His grief over Saul was supplanted by joy. Samuel noticed that David’s face was ruddy and that he had beautiful blue eyes. The Lord spoke to him saying, “Rise and anoint him; for this is the one.” Samuel’s heart swelled within him. The historic significance of the moment for Israel and for the world flashed from God’s heart over to Samuel with such concentration and such speed that it could only be perceived by the human prophet as confusion and a warm afterglow. Samuel looked down with furrowed brow trying to grasp the message but was forced immediately to return to the place and his mission looking up at the young shepherd boy.

David greeted the man with a polite handshake. He felt the prophet pierce his soul with clear green eyes.

Jesse announced, “Samuel has come to sacrifice to the Lord. While we waited for you to arrive the elders gathered and we sacrificed the heifer he brought. But before he leaves, the prophet asked me to bring you here. He wanted to meet all of my sons.”

David wondered why the prophet waited for his return being the youngest, most insignificant member of the family.

Samuel revealed his primary mission to the family. “My son,” said Samuel, “our Lord God has chosen you among all of Israel to replace Saul as king. I have come to anoint you.”

Jesse and his wife and his seven sons gasped in unison.

David looked at Samuel and then over to his father in shock. “Anoint me?! For what? We already have a king.”

The brothers murmured. No one noticed that David’s mother’s face turned white and then filled back up in a bloody blush.

Samuel didn’t allow any more conversation as he reached into his satchel for the horn and oil.

Meanwhile Jesse said to his son. “This must be the Lord’s doing. We shall not question the Lord.”

Samuel obeyed the Lord and took the horn of oil, and anointed David in the presence of his brothers; and the spirit of the Lord came mightily upon David.

Tears flowed like a stream from David’s eyes. He was not sad, but rather overwhelmed by a pure Spirit the likes of which the young man had never experienced. Though appearing weak he was purified and stronger as the Spirit, whom he recognized as his inner Mentor and Protector bloomed like yeast in his soul.

When the young man settled down, and the tears stopped flowing, Samuel with wet eyes of his own hugged him.

“I must be off now to Ramah.” announced Samuel to Jesse and his family.

“Wait my Lord!” said David’s mother. Let me prepare a meal for you first. Please don’t go. It is evening; you ,just stay the night and leave in the morning.”

“Yes,” added Jesse to Samuel. “We have so many questions. What will happen now? How will the people recognize that Davis is their new king? How can this child be king?”

The seven brothers sat silently each with his own muffled thoughts, not as much out of reverence but rather each young man was dumbfounded that their baby brother might become king of Israel.

“I have already eaten plenty from the Lord’s table this day. I must go. Say nothing about the anointing.  Only this can I say: David, my son. You will be tried and tested. Before you will act as king you will become a king, the shepherd of our people Israel. Just as you were born a babe and took many years and much to learn to become a man, you were born this day an infant king.  Keep your heart as pure as you sense that it is at this moment and you will be safe. Hardship and grief will not depart from your house in this life, because of your own sinfulness and because of the sinfulness of the world. Yea, just as the scepter did not pass from the house of Judah, but was handed to you on this day, so will it stay in your house into eternity. Learn well my son. Farewell.”

As the sun was setting, Samuel walked out of the home of Jesse and through the village into the wilderness with his head bowed in thought. As he passed villagers in Bethlehem they turned to ask each other why he had come to Bethlehem and to the house of Jesse.

David wished only to rest. The day was as a new birthday. He felt himself to be  a different man, no longer a boy. And yet his brothers refused to regard him differently. He withdrew into his bed, exhausted and exhilarated, and drew the blanket up over his head to create for himself a cocoon in which he hoped to emerge as a butterfly in the morning.

Life returned as normal to the house of Jesse except for to David and his mother. She tried to find an opportunity to speak with him, but now that he was a man with work to do, he was always either eating, sleeping or leaving as all the others. So she spoke to God instead. She thanked Him for the honor and asked Him questions about the future that God did not answer. In humility she settled on simple praises and gratitude. Would that she would have had just one daughter, but that was denied her.

ALIVE:Chapter 80 Boy to Shepherd

The moon was full and radiated its dim timeless light over Bethlehem. David opened the coral in chilly darkness and called the sheep, his sheep, to come to him. They immediately obeyed and poured out of the gate in twos and threes with the yapping sheep dogs scurrying out first, anxious to please the young master and to lead the way. David quickly reviewed all the steps he needed to take to harness his brood and guide them. He was sure of the way out of town, but was less sure of the way to Hebron. His doubts and fears of getting lost, of wild animals, of failing in his mission gradually dissolved under the power of the hymns he was humming in defense of his soul; the hymns his mother taught him to expel demons. While fighting this internal skirmish his body mechanically and intuitively lead him, the leader of the lambs, directly to the pastures of Hebron.

These would be the first steps into a new life for David and he was ready. He had a strong sense that he was not as he appeared to be, a boy leading a herd to Hebron pastures, but rather a young man with a Spirit within which was himself and at the same time, not himself because It guided him beyond what his own knowledge could, and instructed him beyond his limited experience. The boy-man sensed the presence of an invisible life force, be it angels or the Spirit of the Lord Himself surrounding him. He was not alone. The sheep he had for physical companionship, but the Lord for instruction, guidance, and protection, gems the sheep were oblivious to.

As David walked he thought too about the trek of his ancestors out of Egypt. He tried to imagine being there and what it was like to walk away from slavery. He pretended that his sheep were people and that he was Moses leading the way. David had learned about Moses and the Exodus from his father; he was proud to be of the tribe of Judah. Judah was the one who told his brothers to sell Jospeh to the Ishmaelite instead of killing him like they planned to do, or just leaving him in the pit to die as Rueben suggested. It was Judah who made the first move that saved Israel from starvation. It was Judah who convinced Jacob to allow the brothers to take Benjamin to Egypt as Joseph demanded, who was willing to become surety that Benjamin would return safely. Judah lead the way when his father Jacob and the entire family moved into Egypt at Pharaoh’s invitation.

But most importantly and what made David feel like the son of a king was when Jacob elevated Judah above his brothers in his blessing. He said, “Judah, your brothers shall praise you; your hand shall be on the neck of your enemies; your father’s sons shall bow down before you. Judah is a lion’s whelp; from the prey, my son, you have gone up. He crouches down, he stretches out like a lion, like a lioness-who dares rouse him up? The scepter shall not depart from Judah, nor the ruler’s staff from between his feet, until tribute comes to him, and the obedience of the people is his. Binding his foal to the vine and his donkey’s colt to the choice vine, he washed his garments in wine and his robe in the blood of grapes; his eyes are darker than wine, and his teeth whiter than milk.”

This man, his great grandfather Judah, thought David, surely lives deep within me. “Perhaps it is the spirit of Judah who is guiding me and my sheep fearlessly through the wilderness to Hebron. Judah sleeps deep within me,”  thought David as he paraded proudly with his staff held high like a scepter leading his sheep not towards Hebron, but perhaps even farther, maybe even as far as Jerusalem. “Surely” thought David, “as Judah led Israel into Egypt, I, the son of Judah should lead them out.” And out loud he yelled, “Lambs, let’s go!”

After several hours of parading his sheep to Hebron, David, son of Judah, spotted the first grassy pasture and decided to stop to let the sheep feed and spend the night. He spotted a large broad Sycamore tree that could give him a backrest and a canopy to shade him from the sun. Perfect. David walked up to the tree and leaned his shepherd’s staff up against it, unpacked his duffle bag and prepared for himself a cozy bed on the dry ground. The sheep wandered around munching grass and wild flowers; the youngest frolicked cheerfully. David unpacked his mother’s food and joined his animals in a hardy meal while the sun rapidly descended behind the western mountain range, and the hot air gradually cooled again.

When nighttime fell over the earth and David had no brother or father to talk to, he pulled his lyre out from the satchel and played himself into sleepiness.

When he stopped playing the sudden silence alarmed him. He swallowed his fear so to speak, and unfolded his bedroll to sleep. Laying between the blankets, rather than falling from sleepiness into sleep, David grew more awake. He lay there, thinking and hoping sleep would come. Two dogs lay close to him to keep him warm. He couldn’t tell if they were sleeping or just being still.

This was his very first night all alone in the fields. David felt a sting of sorrow contemplating the transition from being with his mother all day to being with his brothers. Suddenly what  occurred to David was the loss his mother must have  felt when he left her alone to go into the fields. Such abandonment. Such loneliness. He had left her companionless. The sensitivity she conveyed to his young soul had to be met head on, lest he crumble. The only way David knew he could survive was to become aware of the presence of God. He was not alone. That was the reality of it. And if he was not alone, then he could communicate with his Companion Yahweh, listen carefully for words of guidance and comfort, not from his bulky brothers, or his tender mother, but from a richer, wiser, invisible Power, just as real, just as loving as his mother, just as instructive as his brothers. On this night, for the first time, David spoke directly to God. He poured out his heartfelt thoughts as if he could see the Lord. Through his words God became manifest to the man-child.

These were the thoughts that lulled young David into sleep on his first night as a full fledged shepherd. The morning light, a blazing red streak across the sky, woke him up before the sun popped up behind the mountain range. When he opened his eyes and remembered where he was and why, his first thoughts which resounded so loudly in his soul that David couldn’t tell if he spoke them or thought them were, “Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu melech haolam, hamotzi lechem min ha-aretz.” [Blessed are You, LORD our God, King of the universe, Who brings forth bread from the earth.] “Sh'ma Yisrael Adonai Eloheinu Adonai Ecḥad” [Hear, O Israel: the Lord is  our God, the Lord is One.] "His soul sang to Him the prayers that his mother had placed there from his infancy.

David lay there for a few moments and listened to his heart praying while staring into the cloudless sky. Then he pulled himself up and looked for his sheep and counted them. What a relief, not one was missing. Being busy packing his bed and eating kept David from thinking. The dogs who had corralled the sheep spotted David and raced each other to reach him looking for affirmation and food. He reached into his food bag and pulled out a measure for the day. He hoped to kill game to feed the dogs with that day.

In silence David, packed up his bed, rounded up the sheep and headed south across the wadi to reach the pastures on the other side.

The day was particularly hot and dry. Even the sheepdogs had slowed down. Yet, David began to feel more alert and alive than he had ever felt before. Thoughts descended onto his mind like a refreshing spring rain. Like he was being instructed by a master. As he walked he suddenly saw his sheep, his companions as so much more than animals, as his subjects. He saw them as warming blankets, as nourishing food, as healing lanolin, that they would become.

Then in shock he saw them as recipients of sin, of his sin and his brothers’ sin. This alarming conclusion brought tears to David’s eyes. He suddenly felt embarrassed and ashamed before them. He no longer felt like their master, instead he was aware that he was their debtor. Someday one of them would be murdered for David’s sin. What a gruesome thought. He tried to shake it from his mind. He looked at the sheep and wondered which one it would be. Which innocent sheep would bear his iniquity? One of them had to, God demanded it. God demanded animal sacrifice to spare him, like He sent the ram at the moment Abraham was about to sacrifice Isaac. That innocent ram proved Abraham’s trust and obedience. One of these sheep would prove David’s obedience and gratitude. David, son of Judah lowered his scepter which turned back into a staff as his heart shied away from his sense of royalty and into a sense of shame and humility.

“But why?” David asked his inner Mentor. Why did God ever require the death of the innocent lamb? Enemies die. Enemies should be killed lest they kill us. Not friends, not ignorant but generous woolen sheep! “Dear Lord, let them die of old age after a full life enjoying the sun and grass.” cried this unusual son of a holy mother.

His inner Mentor simply replied, “The Law is life.”

David followed that statement to its opposite wholeness. “If the law is life and I transgress the law, then I am as death.”

The Mentor smiled approvingly in David’s heart.

“I don’t only deserve to die,” thought David,  “because I have violated life, I am death. This sheep never violated laws of nature like man violates laws of nature and of God.”  David was not so young and innocent that he didn’t know about evil men. He heard about girls his age being raped, about old men going into children, about thieves and those men who kill for pleasure, about animal men. Remember Lot’s evil visitors?  Worse. Animals would never violate the laws of nature as do these men.

David looked deep within himself and saw how often he violated the law, when he played on the Sabbath, when he was rude to his father, when he lied, when he coveted his neighbor’s bow and arrows. The law is life. To violate the law is death. The death of the lamb restores life to the man. The man is resurrected whose violations are passed on to the lamb in humility and gratitude, and repentance. The lamb is king, not David. To shepherd the ignorant recipient of his death, even if there is only one in the hundreds of sheep who will bear his sins, he didn’t know which one it would be, so he had to treat them all as the one who would bear his sins, and the sins of his brothers and his father. To shepherd them is to prepare them all to teach the meaning of, ‘The law is life, and to violate the law is death.’

How ignorant is man? As ignorant as these sheep, but as holy too.

As he walked behind the sheep to make sure none strayed, with the dogs corralling them in front, David saw wooly animals that carry the sins that eat away at souls, like lice that eat away at a body; the rebellious deeds of everyone he knew. This thought frightened David and caused tears to well up in his chest, brimming enough to spill from his eyes a bit. It seemed too unfair, they were so innocent. So ignorant of their sacred sacrificial job. “If only a person, a human being,” thought David, “with full knowledge of carrying the sins of others were to be sacrificed, it would make sense.” Then he thought that no human being could or would accept such punishment for others. No one. We need the ignorance of animals.

The Mentor quickly corrected David’s thought. “Is it punishment really?”

“Of course it is!”

“Not true. Not true my son.”

The sacrifice of the lambs is a noble act performed to teach, to show the effect of failure to choose life and to adhere to its path. The law is Life. That is not an arbitrary statement. The law forms a safe and narrow path, like stepping stones to immortality. Death of the lamb teaches the calamity of the missed step.”

“But the lamb doesn’t know that!”

The ignorance of the lamb is merciful. It will be killed for food anyway. Through its sacrifice, the lamb feeds the soul of man, not just his body.

“I still think it would be just for a man to be sacrificed because it is man’s sin that causes death.” retorted David boldly to The Mentor.

The Mentor withdrew in silence to leave a David with his thoughts and with his lambs heading to the richest pastureland in all of Israel

ALIVE: Chapter 78, David

A babe was born in Bethlehem destined to be the king of the Jews.  He was the joy of his mother who cherished this child more than all the rest for being the last to suckle her old breasts and to cuddle. For the first seven days of his brand new life the babe was cradled in his loving mother’s  arms and offered the tit at every whimper.

On the eighth day, Jesse and his wife submissively carried their eighth son to the tent of meeting to be marked by circumcision as his personal sign of the covenant between Yahweh and his great-grandfather Abraham who merited it with his extraordinary faith. Imagine trusting God’s promise for a son every day for over fifty years, to finally be granted the heart’s longing at the most unlikely age of one hundred, when the mother was 90. Then, when the love between father and son had fully ripened, to be willing, without hesitation to give the miraculous child back to God upon His request. Imagine that kind of patience, that kind of trust. Now look at how that mustard seed became a gigantic tree. Trillions of sons receiving the mark of that covenant of trust, of affiliation with the awesome God, on their eighth day.

It is written that God created the world in six days and on the seventh day He rested. The eighth day therefore is the beginning of the world with everything in place and ready to go. The eighth day is the beginning of the world for humankind, the crown of Creation. Circumcision is the discreet mark that links the baby boy with the faith and patience of Abraham. It symbolizes right relationship with God. It is the supreme gift of the parent after life itself, rich with hope and meaning. Circumcision is a sacred rebirth.

The brothers and sisters gathered around the baby boy like a gaggle of geese of different sizes. The babe whaled louder than all his brothers put together thought Jesse, as if the devil itself clung to his tiny foreskin in defiance. When it was over, mama quickly grabbed her babe and nearly suffocated him in her swollen bosom rocking him back and forth trying to drown out his shrieks with louder lullabies until his pain subsided.

The family paraded back to their own home where baby David was gently laid in his cushy wooden cradle fast asleep. That afternoon, it was if all of Bethlehem came to visit the newest member of the tribe and to congratulate the father. The following weeks of mama’s purification were blissful as neighbors continued to bring the family food and help with the chores to allow the mother to devote herself to the newborn.

As the thirty-third day of the period of purification grew near Jesse and his older sons argued about which lamb to select for the burnt offering and which turtle dove for the sin offering. The boys and their father bantered back and forth about the birthday of each lamb to be sure that it was under one year old. There had been two litters that year and they both produced two little lambs.  Mama insisted that they bring her two lambs and two turtledoves so she could make the final selection. Days before the sacrifice was to be held mama had the boys wash and comb the chosen lamb to offer it in its most pure condition.

The eighth son of Jesse radiated a glow that echoed his infant giggles. He beautified his tiny world with his rosy cheeks and big bright eyes. Gay, lovable, and alert, this infant child was the holiest one of his aging mother. Wisdom and experience whispered to her daily that he was indeed special. She knew that perception was a secret between her and God. To Jesse, the eighth son soon became just another mouth to feed, more tasks for an already heavily burdened wife until he could be useful.

Seven older brothers weighed heavily on David. As the sprout grew into a sapling it became increasingly apparent to the beloved child that his mother’s admiration was not shared by his brothers. David took his first wobbly steps toward Eliab who pushed him down and then ran away. He didn’t cry, but instead stood up again and wobbled three more steps before falling down on his own.

Every Friday, as sunset marked the beginning of Shabbat the family gathered at the tent of meeting to witness the offerings. David’s mother surveyed her children trying to lock eyes to read each heart. Invariably toddler David’s were clenched tightly closed. “What is going on in there that this child is searching for?” thought his mother. “Perhaps he is listening for the songs I sing to him before bedtime, or the poems I compose to entertain him.” Surely this mother poured herself into her holy child. Oh mother did you know your baby boy would grow to rule the nations?

Baby David grew into a strong but mischievous child. Life in the village of Bethlehem was typical. The Sabbath was strictly observed as were all the laws of Moses that they could remember. Levite priests travelled from village to village to ensure the preservation of all the laws, and to serve as judges. Hundreds of specific regulations had to be followed and the priests without their own land, at least had their power and income to source their pride. They were the police of their world, the keepers of the covenant,the links between man and a precise and demanding God. 

On his fifth birthday the child was given a lyre to play with to pass his time while mother and father, older sisters and brothers were busy keeping house, tending the sheep, and training for wars from marauding neighbors.

From sunrise to sunset young David played the lyre with focus and determination. At first the sounds were so objectionable that everyone but his patient mother yelled complaints. Mother noticed that the sound, as bad as it was kept the snakes away and she was glad for that. Months later, she was rewarded as something like a melody surprised her with joy. After that, more and more harmony emanated from boy and his lyre to the delight of the entire family.

His mother kept him near as her young minstrel entertained her while she washed clothes, fetched water, and cooked. She would hum along and often compose lyrics that fit the melodies. David’s heart swelled to hear the fears and yearnings of his dear mother put to song. It was as if a Holy Spirit flowed through mother and son blessing the air with sounds of the heart that sewed them to each other and to God. Surely, thought the mother, this child is a gift from God for her old age.

ALIVE: Chapter 77 King of the Flesh

There is a golden goblet of life. It is filled with blood-red wine. So thick that one could not tell whether it was born of grape or man. The taste of it is time. It is the time of kings and prophets. To the tongue of a keen judge the wine of life is smokey sweet.

To God, the Lord of time, it is a goblet brimming with the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil. Once deadly poisonous, calloused souls merely suffer indigestion from this poisonous fruit, like the indigestion of repeated indulgence in hearty meals. Yes, this blood-red wine still kills, but the death is slow and barely noticed is its coming. The drinker accepts this slow death like the eye accepts tears from the heart. Like the lame accepts the wheelchair.

In our journey through the woodland of the earthly life of the sons and daughters of the Maker, we arrive at the era of kings and prophets.

The Promise Land flowing with milk and honey turned into a bloody field of battle where baby boys grew to become soldiers who wrenched their mother’s hearts. Where the King of Glory was swept aside to make room for the king whose power emanated from sharp metal swords. The sword, that tool of murder and victory replaced the mystical staff of Moses. Muscle made a sore substitute for mystical.

The King of Glory gazed upon His Creation with dismay and love. He never abandoned Adam. Like a good father, He answered when called upon, and gave advice when it was not requested.

“Enough leisure!” bellowed God to Gracefeld and Perambula. “Your sabbatical is ended. Go back to earth. There is work to be done.”

“Where will you have us go my Lord?” replied Perambula. “Your people have scattered far and wide. They are free.”

“Free to make a mockery of your Law.” added Gracefeld

“Free to demand a king!” said Perambula cynically. “Will they never cease to insult You, my Lord? Why oh why do you not destroy this lot and start over? These people are clearly not worthy of You my Lord.”

“I agree.” said Gracefeld.

“My dear angels. This is exactly why you are so different than mankind, than Me. I don’t mind taking tiny steps through time. You think that if you aren’t flying, you aren’t moving. Patience! You will behold the day when life ultimately shatters death. When impudence unfolds its moldy layers to heal in the warmth of light. When the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil is fully ripened  and then consumes itself in its rottenness. When blood and oxygen no longer sustain life.”

“In our simplemindedness my Lord, we cling to You and love You and serve You.” sung Gracefeld trying to divert the conversation away from embodiment, the thought of which always confused this angel.

Picking up on Gracefeld’s turn of tone, God said, “For now, my friends, let’s just give them a king.”

There was a man of Benjamin whose name was Kish, a man of wealth. He had a son named Saul, a handsome young man. There was not a man among the people of Israel more handsome than Saul; he stood shoulders above everyone else.

“Perambula” said God, “Go down to the House of Kish and lead his donkeys astray. Drive them through the hill country of Ephraim and through the land of Shalishah, then through the land of Shaalim. Go beyond Benjamin to Zuph where My prophet Samuel lives. Saul will be recognized by the prophet and anointed king there.”

“My Lord, with all due respect, first you have me drive your slaves out of Egypt and now I am being asked to drive sheep. Is this a demotion?”

God smiled at Perambula’s attempt at humor. “Drive the animals and watch the young man follow.

Tell Samuel to anoint the tall man the king.”

Perambula looked confused. “My Lord, why would you select a king for his appearance? How can stature and shape of face have anything whatsoever to do with the qualifications of a king?”

“My dear Perambula in their shallowness the people demand to be like their neighbors. They would not accept anything less than physical appeal because their desire is material.

“I will use this big but ordinary man to prepare My true choice for their king. I have already selected a boy after my own heart. Saul is the forerunner.” said God feeling self satisfied in His shrewdness.

Gracefeld chimed in, “Did You just say my Lord that You will give them a tall king who is not even a holy man?”

“Holy?” replied God. “He is not even capable of simple  obedience! The man Saul will served My purpose.  Enough conversation. It’s your turn to be obedient, now go and drive those animals, and for heaven’s sake, don’t get lost!”

Perambula and Gracefeld carried out their mission well, being among the most reliable angels of their rank in the Lord’s stable.

The tall handsome young man was anointed king much to his own surprise. With the confidence that his title bestowed upon him Saul proceeded to act kingly by leading armies to fight enemies..

For all his victories, and unaware of the aid provided by Gracefeld and Perambula, King Saul proceeded to award himself generously. Along with the material grandeur of homes and wives, purple cloth, cheese and leather, came the spiritual decay of hubris, arrogance, and ever increasing self aggrandizement. Saul became a perfect characature of a king. The king that God had warned the people about. Taking their riches for himself. And yet in his soul, perhaps because of his meteoric rise from shepherd to king on one day, Saul keenly felt the inner conflict of unworthiness which of course he continually misinterpreted.

One day in the midst of a losing battle with the Philistines the Hebrews, to save themselves, squirreled into any cave they could find. Meanwhile King Saul was at Gilgal waiting for Samuel to come and pray for victory. Saul had gotten word that Samuel would arrive in seven days. On the seventh day Saul was overcome with fear and anxiety because Samuel had not yet arrived.

In desperation, Saul barked, “Bring the burnt offering here to me, and the offering of well being! Quickly!” So King Saul went ahead and offered the burnt offering himself instead of waiting for the prophet. As soon as he finished, Samuel arrived and Saul went out to meet him. Samuel said, “What have you done?”

Saul replied that that the people, his soldiers were slipping away and that Samuel hadn’t come yet on the seventh day and that the Philistines were getting ready to attack. He was in a tough spot and needed to entreat the Lord, so he forced himself to perform the burnt offering ceremony.

Furious, Samuel said, “You have done foolishly! You have not kept the commandment of the Lord your God which He commanded you. The Lord would have established your kingdom forever, but now your kingdom will not continue because your impatience caused you to be disobedient.”

Saul turn his face from the prophet and walked away sorrowful and confused. How could this old man take his kingdom away from him? Possibly he didn’t, not really. Nothing had changed. He still had his homes and his food.

Saul was not aware of the callouses growing on his heart. He was blind to the army of invisible demons that had latched onto his mind. In fact, as Saul continued to lead his armies to battle against the Philistines he very subtly morphed into an emotionally disturbed tyrant.

Besides, there were more battles and more fighting and killing to be done. Saul felt competent on the battlefield. The more enemies he could kill, the stronger grew his self-worth. There was nothing like a hard fought battle to take one’s mind off of Samuel and his threats.

Months later, on a morning after a particularly fretful night Samuel appeared at the palace of King Saul and was ushered into his throne room.

“What can I do for you?” asked Saul.

“I have come to give you a message from the Lord.”

“Speak.”

“Thus saith the Lord, I will punish the Amalekites for what they did in opposing the Israelites when they came up out of Egypt.  Now go to attack Amalek, and utterly destroy all that they have; do not spare them, but kill both man and woman, child and infant, ox and sheep, camel and donkey.”

When Perambula heard the message the angel was astonished.

“Gracefeld, did you hear that? Did you know this? God is ordering mass destruction of a nation of people for something their ancestors did! Even children! How horrid, how violent!”

Gracefeld replied, “Perambula, are you disputing the Lord’s order?! You must know that He has His good reasons. Rest assured that in the end, all will be just and right and good. Now please don’t distract me. Listen!”

When Saul heard it, he was glad. Perhaps Samuel was giving him a second chance to regain his kingship. Coming straight from the Lord God, he knew that victory was in his hands. This was a job he was well suited for and so King Saul went right to work preparing for battle. Within weeks Saul raised up an army of two hundred thousand foot soldiers, and ten thousand soldiers of Judah.

They stealthily moved into the valley by the city of Amalekites.

On the way Saul spotted Kenites and sent a message to their leader, “Go! Leave! Withdraw from among the Amalekites, or I will destroy you with them; but I don’t want to, because you showed kindness to Israel when they came up out of Egypt.”

The Kenites were grateful for the warning and departed en masse as efficiently as they could, every man, woman and child packed up and scurried away from the Amalekites.

King Saul and His army waited to charge.

The battle went as expected and all the Amalekites were destroyed, but Saul and the people spared Agag, their king, and the best of the sheep and of the cattle and of the failings, and the lambs and all that was valuable.

As expected, God saw that Saul disobeyed the directive to destroy everything. Nevertheless God was angry.

Gracefeld was dispatched to tell Samuel about the Lord’s disappointment and fury. The Lord had given Saul one more chance to recover from his mistake of impatience, but once again the man failed to obey.

Gracefeld went directly to Samuel in prayer. The angel spoke to Samuel. “Samuel, thus says the Lord, ‘I regret that I made Saul king, for He has turned back from following me, and has not carried out My commands.’ He will come to you. Admonish him again!”

When Samuel heard that, he was angry too and cried out to the Lord all night. ‘Why oh why Lord did You have me select this foolish stubborn man?”

Perambula heard that and added, “Didn’t I tell you Lord?! How could you have picked a man to be king for his beauty and stature? You may as well have picked a stallion?”

The next morning Saul arrived.

After the victorious batter Saul had gone to Carmel where he set up a monument to himself. On his return he passed on down to Gilgal to visit Samuel and report his victory.

Samuel was sitting under the tree outside his home waiting for the king.

Saul arrived proud and cheerful. “May you be blessed by the Lord; I have carried out the command of the Lord!”

Samuel retorted, “What then is the bleating of sheep that I hear?”

Saul replied matter-of-factly with a big toothy grin, shoulders back and chest out, “They have brought them from the Amalekites; for the people spared the best of the sheep and the cattle to sacrifice to the Lord, your God; but the rest we utterly destroyed.”

Then Samuel said to Saul, “Stop! I will tell you what the Lord said to me  last night.”

He replied, “Yes?”

Samuel said, “Though you are little in your own eyes, are you not the head of the tribes of Israel? The Lord anointed you king over Israel. And the Lord sent you to utterly destroy the Amalekites until they are utterly consumed. Why didn’t you obey? Why did you swoop down on the spoil, and do what was evil in the sight of the Lord?”

“But I did obey. I have only brought back the king Agag and the best sheep and cattle  to sacrifice to the Lord your God in Gilgal.”

Samuel replied, “Surely to obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed than the fat of rams. For rebellion is no less a sin than divination, and stubbornness is like iniquity, and idolatry.

Because you have rejected the word of the Lord, He has rejected you from being king.”

Saul, in his foolishness was astonished to hear that he messed up again and just when he was feeling so good about himself! He sensed immediately that this was no time to argue his position, and that contrition was the only valid response.

Saul spoke his mind, “I have sinned; for I have transgressed the commandment of the Lord and your words, because I feared the people and obeyed their voice (passing the blame as did Adam) Now therefore I pray pardon my sin, and return with me, so that I may worship the Lord.”

Samuel said to Saul, “You have rejected the word of the Lord, and the Lord has rejected you from being king over Israel.”

As Samuel turned to go away, Saul caught hold of the hem of his robe, and it tore. Samuel looked down at his hem and up at Saul’s face and said to him, “The Lord has torn the kingdom of Israel from you this very day, and has given it to a neighbor of yours who is better than you. Moreover, the Lord will not change His mind, for He is not a mortal that He should change his mind.”

Then Saul said again with contrition, “I have sinned; yet honor me now before the elders of my people and before Israel, and return with me, so that I may worship the Lord your God.”

Ignoring this plea Samuel turned his back on Saul. But Saul still went to worship the Lord.

Meanwhile Samuel asked for Agag the king of the Amelikites to be brought to him. When he arrived, Agag could see that he was doomed.

Agag full of fear said, “Surely this is the bitterness of death.”

Samuel replied, “As your sword has made women childless, so your mother shall be childless among women.”

And Samuel hewed Agag in pieces before the Lord at Gilgal.

Then Samuel went to Ramah; and Saul went” up to his house in Gibeah of Saul.

Samuel did not see Saul again until the day of his death, but Samuel grieved over Saul.

And the Lord was sorry that he made Saul king over Israel.

And Perambula whispered, “I told you so.” winced and then flew into huge white cumulus clouds.

ALIVE: Chapter 76, Reluctantly Letting Go of Moses

Perambula circled around Mt. Hor, over the dead body of Moses, while Gracefeld accompanied his soul to Sheol. Day and night Perambula hovered there to protect this precious flesh and bones from being defiled by hungry animals. The angel waited for men to arrive to carry Moses back down the mountain and then to bury him in Moab.

Passing Gracefeld and the soul of Moses, God arrived at the scene where Perambula was guarding the Elder.

“My Lord!” exclaimed Perambula surprised to see God appear.

“”Good morning Perambula.”

“Look at this dead body of your servant Moses. This shell of the man to whom You revealed Yourself and the history of the world. He is lifeless!”

“I can see that Perambula.”

“Lord, I thought that you were so disgusted after the Flood that you planned to destroy death. Look at this man, and all those thousands of people, your people, who died before entering the Promise Land. My Lord, and I say this with utmost respect, how do You think You are doing with this plan of Yours to destroy death?”

God smiled His most confident smile and replied, “Patience my dear Perambula. When I destroy death, it will be perfectly and thoroughly done and it will be forever. These human beings, although they were made in my image and likeness have so disfigured My Face that there is much restoration needed, and much for them to experience and to learn.  Besides, I have given the devil and its demons freedom for a time to oppose Me, but actually through their evil deeds they will show men the effects of ignorance and disobedience. This revelation will allow the wiser ones decide for themselves whether or not to choose life.”

“Lord the humans are so weak, is that fair?” mumbled Perambula meekly.

“Of course it’s fair! Freedom is the greatest gift I have to offer life. These beings are free to choose life or death. I see so many of them choose death by rebellion, faithlessness, and distrust; passions gone wild. Satan rejoices in that. But disease, strife and maladies of every kind result and so they go out of their ways with all their intelligence to repair the causes of death without going to the root of the problem, that is that they chose death and don’t even realize it. They choose suffering and then lament it.

One by one a man or a woman learns. The light of life will shine through the darkness. On that day I will rejoice that Life was the precious choice of his or her own will after their personal confrontation with Satan and death. This change of mind, this awakening, this resurrection is important to Me. Transformation means more to Me than even those who chose life from the beginning for the repentant have confronted My enemy and prevailed.”

God simplified His response and added, “My friend Perambula as much as I despise death, as much as death was not, I repeat NOT in My Will for Creation, I must endure it a while longer. You will understand all of this when the heavy fog that surrounds you is lifted.”

Perambula’s angel eyes opened wide to look around for the fog that God meant as a metaphor.

“For now, fret not for Moses or any of the people in Sheol. I will free them and judge them with a judgement that no other keen eye can judge man by: one by one. Reading their hearts and intentions, remembering their acts of kindness and hatred, faith and rebelliousness. Knowing their battles with the enemy and the part the evil one played in their evil deeds. On that day, and I won’t tell you when, I assure you that the heart of flesh will never again suffer death. Trust Me. Here they come. Accompany the men to carry Moses down this mountain. I don’t want them to drop him!”

“Yes, my Lord.” replied Perambula wrapped in a shroud of thought as the angel observed Pineal and Zachariah who were approaching to carry the heavy lifeless flesh of Father Moses down the rocky mountain.

“There he is!” shouted Pineal. Zechariah rushed to catch up. The two men looked down upon old Moses lying on the rock, his face looking up at the heavens and his legs twisted from collapsing beneath him. Zechariah bent down and touched his cold hard hand and in fear he immediately stood back up.

“Let us pray Pineal.”

Pineal nodded. The two strong young men bowed their heads. Zechariah filled with the Spirit said, “Blessed be God, and blessed be His great Name, and blessed be His holy angels. May His holy Name be blessed throughout all the ages. Though He punished this man Moses, He has had mercy on Him. Blessed are you, oh God with every pure blessing; let all Your chosen ones bless You. Let them bless You forever. Be our guide on this path to take Your holy man down this mountain. This mountain where his flesh saw you for the last time, and let us bury him deep in the earth of your making. Give him peace in death. Amen and Amen.”

Pineal added. “Amen and amen.”

Then Pineal and Zechariah struggled to get a good hold on the body and carefully retrace their steps down the steep mountain of Hor.

The task was difficult. Perambula frequently had to adjust the men’s steps. More than once Perambula needed to defy gravity to keep the body from falling out of painful arms. Perambula looked on the lifeless shell of Moses, whom the angel had grown to love with great sorrow and awe. The angel wondered how such a holy servant of God could be reduced to matter alone, like a rock or a piece of rotten wood. Perambula, being immortal, thought that the death of a person, who was so much like God, so much like an angel, must be the most curious, most mystifying of all phenomenon on the planet.

Following the burial of Moses Perambula flew up into the second heaven, beyond the sky. The farther Perambula flew from earth, the cleaner and more free the angel felt. Perambula zoned in on Gracefeld and together the two angels, who had been awarded a sabbatical after decades of watching over Israel, left the tribes to the care of lower angels and flew somersaults in the air. Carefree at last they played and gazed at the universe to see the sun and moon rotate in a steady rhythm like a giant heartbeat. The view from the heavens was stunning. Perambula thought that the beauty of the heavens was a marvel so spectacular that familiarity could not ever diminish its glory by even one iota.

From time to time our two angels scooped down closer to the earth, but never as close as when they had worked there. All they could see from that distance were thousands of specks, each one a soul. One bright hot day the angels hovered over a long shoreline and saw specks in the shore and colorful umbrellas dug in the sand, and some other specks of humans floating in the sea.  Specks, each one representing a heart and soul. The angels didn’t care about the absurdity of those black flecks being important to God. They simply reveled in the light show of days and nights, the light show of time, months and years, which meant nothing to these angelic beings, and everything to God’s mortal creatures.

During this dazzling celestial light show Israel settled into the Promise Land. Each tribe occupied a piece of land that had belonged to others before them. Gad here, Reuben over there. They spread themselves wide apart so each would have plenty of space to grow their nations. Each tribe helped the other to supplant the peoples until each of the twelve tribes of Israel had a new homeland that gradually became an old homeland. No one gave any thought to the men, women, and children that died or had to flee their homes and villages to be replaced by Israel. They simply disappeared from the Promise Land and that was all that mattered to the Jews.

There were men and women, born during the days when Caleb and Joshua first returned from spying out the land, who had known nothing but wandering for forty years. These, it was who never knew Egypt. They  walked day after day from the moment of birth until forty years passed as they grew from lively children to mischievous youngsters and mature adults. These had to make the adjustment from being nomads to residents of a stabile homeland.

Through Moses God had bestowed upon mankind the laws with their consequences and punishments, and also with their blessings. Even as He had fixed the sun and moon in the sky to automatically create the day and to make food grow, He gave the Law to reveal Himself and to govern behavior. God created the earth on a firm foundation of physics, biology, astronomy, and all the sciences man had come to recognize and to learn about. Yet without the Law, without a knowledge of the origin of mankind and its history and its purpose, without the Law to govern human interaction, and man’s interaction with their Maker chaos would eventually make the planet uninhabitable. Wild animals could not destroy the world as much as wild humans.

“Evangeline!”

As I wrote those words, I was shocked to suddenly hear The Lord God call me. Me! Little me!

“Yes, my Lord,” I replied meekly, and frankly quite frightened that I had irritated the King of Glory. “What did I say? What did I do this time?”

“Stop!” He said firmly. “It is time for you to let go of Moses! It’s been two years. Move on, there is much more to describe about being Alive.”

“I just can’t my Lord.” I replied, “I have tried. I promise you. There is so much to say about Father Moses. It’s more than the story. Without Moses, his life, his service to You and for humankind I am afraid that humanity would sink deeper and deeper with each century into the darkness of ignorance, never to see Your Light, to know where we came from and where we are going. I imagine without Moses, his capacity to speak with you as he did, to serve you as he did, we would be no more than animals with speech.”

“Look around Evangeline. I would not allow that to happen. Humanity asked for death through Eve. The light that I offer even through the vail of the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil will suffice. I will allow you this final chapter on Moses, but after that I insist that you never mention Moses again!”

“My Lord, that is too much to ask! Never even mention your servant whom You loved, to whom You revealed the secrets of the Creation of the World, who is revered by the holy and the heretics alike?”

“Evangeline!” God said firmly, “Now, I sense you are trying to persuade me as did Moses.”

“My Lord!” said I.

My Lord replied, “There is so much more to write before this book can finally end! You must move along.”

“I know that my Lord. I often think about how far we have to go and the diamonds along the road. In fact, I become overwhelmed by the beauty of it, so that perhaps I fear that I will not be able ....”

“You know better than to say that My child.”

“I know that I must explain the other side of Creation before I can move on.”

“True, I will allow that.”

“And My Lord, I am struggling to cross the bridge that takes me to the other side. I fear that I am clinging to Moses because it is dark and I can’t see the road ahead.”

“Now you are being honest with yourself. Keep writing. But remember My command, that this is your last chance to write of Moses. Leave the man in peace!”

“Until I see him on Tabor?!” I dared to blurt out.

With that my Lord faded into silence, and I returned with renewed enthusiasm and determination to leave Moses to his rest.

As vital as trees and air and food are to human existence, through the Law of Moses, the same Creator provided the vehicle within which mankind may make a safe journey on this glorious planet. The Law complements nature.

No sooner did God grant freedom from slavery and oppression to His people, than did He constrain them with His guidelines. Their voluntary yielding to His will would be rewarded with protection and abundance. God did not demand love, He only demanded respect which He richly deserved after all He had done for Israel by showing His providence and His ability to manipulate nature itself for their sake.

The legal structure that Moses handed to Israel identified these people as unique in their lawfulness. The Law separated Israel from the Hittites and Jebusites, and all the other peoples who God allowed to exist, but who never knew Him. Passion and pleasure drove most men from birth to death, whereas humility, self control, and reason rendered Israel the people of God. 

Dear reader, please be patient with me. Can you see that it was only to Israel through Moses that God told mankind the story of Creation, and the Flood, and about Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob? That history has spread to all four corners of the earth. These key patriarchs would have dissolved into obscurity as everyone else has, except their part was so fundamental to God’s plan to eradicate death that it had to be recorded and preserved. 

From time to time a prophet arose through whom God communicated briefly to the people, but never like Moses did. Sometimes the prophets were false and relayed messages that were generated by their own thoughts and feelings. But the Law from God through Moses and the commemoration of Passover all formed a rock-hard solid foundation upon which temples and generations of men would come and go, but true life would exist forever.

“Okay Lord, I am ready to move on. Where shall we go?”

ALIVE: Chapter 75, The Death of Moses

To whom much is given, much is required. Most people would not even notice the difference between saying to the rock, ‘Bring forth water!’ and saying, ‘Shall we bring water out of this rock for you rebels?’

These fateful words of great Moses flashed through Christ’s mind when He said, “Therefore, you are to be perfect as your Heavenly Father is perfect.” Matthew 5:48

Perambula was shocked. “My Lord, wise and wonderful, for such a small infraction, your servant Moses who has travailed with your stiff-necked people for so many years and through rivers and drought, and now you sentence this old man to forty years of marching through the wilderness without ever entering the Promise Land. How can this be my Lord?!”

God flashed an angry look at Perambula who shriveled into a droplet of mist.

Time. The revolution of the earth around the sun. Night and day. Around and around we go. Asleep and awake and asleep again in a dizzying cycle from which we would eventually collapse with nausea if not for the life force that propels us forward to create the illusion of a spiral. Infancy to decrepitude, birth to death, dust to dust, circles of life filled with drama like a heap of pennies.

Humanity fills pristine air with good and evil, humility and hubris, peace and war, anger and tears shooting out from hearts like sprays of arrows. Living coins so dense with life that they pretend to exist outside of time. Humble time hides itself in disgust at loud brash and egotistical drama. Then it stealthily grabs each person one by one; the last breath of air, the very last heartbeat; dead. Forever. To exist as spirit in timelessness.

One day Aaron died.

The brother, the mouthpiece of Moses, stopped breathing air. Two strong men planted his body deep in the earth and marked the hidden place of it with a stone. After decades of walking He reached Sheol instead of the Promise Land and discovered an unexpected world. The waiting room of the dead. Like the millions before him Aaron’s life landed in extreme foreign territory no longer to speak; no longer to walk. No need for either milk or honey. What Aaron experienced is a secret. His son Eleazar replaced him on top of the earth as chief priest.  Brother Moses wept.

Twenty-three generations after God had promised Abraham that his family would be nomads no more, in a land rich with cows and busy bumble bees, and four decades after holy Passover night, when the angel of death passed over doorways painted with the blood of lambs to barge through naked doors to grab first-born sons. When Pharaoh’s grief loosened his tight fisted grip on enslaved Israel the twelve tribes finally reached Moab, the gateway to the Promise Land. Exactly forty years after they insulted God and themselves with fear, Israel returned from their futile forty year round trip.

Those men and women died who infected each other with the disease of cynicism, who had forgotten the many miracles God performed for them for the sole purpose of revealing Himself to them, who were so bereft of faith that they were more afraid of men than of their Creator and Judge.

Joshua and Caleb remained alive to see the land again and with God’s help to take it after forty-years of walking while waiting for the unbelievers to die, which they did, one by one. Off to timeless Sheol.

At Moab Moses knew that the time had come for him to die too. To be buried outside the Promise Land. Humble Moses accepted his punishment graciously. Like the father of this nation he was, before leaving the sons of Jacob Moses reminded them of the commandments and the law, and he blessed each tribe with instructions and blessings, leaving behind him an outpouring of holy wisdom in one last effort to transform the nation of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob into children of God.

Finally, Moses gathered Israel and said loudly for everyone to hear without stutter, “I am now 120 years old. I am no longer able to get about and the Lord has told me that I shall not cross the Jordan. The Lord Himself will cross over before you. He will destroy the nations before you, and you shall displace them. Joshua will also cross over before you, as the Lord promised. Be strong and bold; have no fear or dread of them, because it is the Lord your God who goes with you; He will not fail or forsake you.”

Then  Moses summoned Joshua and said to him in the sight of all Israel: “Be strong and bold, for you are the one who will go with this people into the land that the Lord has sworn to their ancestors to give them; and you will put them in possession of it. It is the Lord who goes before you: He will be with you; He will not fail or forsake you. Do not fear, or be dismayed.

Take to heart all the words that I am giving in witness against you today; give them as a command to your children, so that they may diligently observe all the words of this law. This is no trifling matter for you, but rather your very life; through obedience to the law you may live long in the land that you are crossing over the Jordan to possess.”

He paused and in his heart Moses heard the Lord speak to him with love and compassion, “Ascend the mountain of the Abarim, Mount Nebo; across from Jericho, and behold the land of Canaan which I am giving to the Israelites for a possession; you shall die on this mountain that you shall ascend and shall be gathered to your kin, as your brother died on Mount Hor and was gathered to his kin; because both of you broke faith with Me among the Israelites at the waters of Meribah-kadesh in the wilderness of Zin by failing to maintain My holiness among the Israelites. Although you may view the land from a distance, you shall not enter it-the land that I am giving to the Israelites.”

The people waited patiently and with great respect for Moses to come out of his trance.

When he did, Moses gave his final blessing to them  (Deuteronomy 33) and then walked away from them alone. The crowd watched him go. No one followed him as old Moses, slowly and with a limp walked and walked away leaning on his staff. The giant that had been Moses faded in their sight; disappearing into the horizon on the plains of Moab.

Finally he reached Mount Nebo which is opposite Jericho, and the old man looked up, took a deep breath and began his last hike. Moses’ life flashed before him as he climbed one careful step at a time. Memories of the many hikes up Mt. Sinai crossed his mind. Slowly, breathing hard, stopping often to rest Moses felt thoroughly immersed in life. The life of his body, the breath of it, the tired muscles of it, the thirst and hunger of it. He drank in giant gulps of the feeling of the air passing over his sweat drenched wrinkled skin. His eyes like twin gluttons wanted to see and study the colors, the textures of every rock and tree and leaf, every insect that surrounded him on this last climb. Moses filled himself with the matter of life. No longer was anyone dependent on him. No one needed his judgment or his defense. He was free. He looked forward to being gathered to his people, Mariam and Aaron for he missed them terribly these last months and years.  Perambula and Gracefeld invisibly helped the old man climb, protecting him from falling, patiently guiding elder Moses up the mountain via the shortest path lest he faint or lose his way.

As the sun was about to set, in the dim dusk of evening Moses finally reached the summit. Perambula and Gracefeld felt great relief as the journey was much more difficult for the angels than for the old man they were helping. During all the hours of climbing Moses thought he would never reach the summit, and that he never wanted to for he was afraid of what he imagined to be the dark emptiness of death.

At the summit the Lord spoke to Moses again. He showed him the whole land. Moses gazed around him. He saw the fields beneath him, fields he would never walk through, and he beheld the mountains in the distance and the deep purple sky overhead. Gradually after taking in the site of the Promise Land, the land his ancestors yearned to see, Moses gave up his spirit. His body went limp and he breathed no more. The baby in the basket that reminded Perambula of Noah being saved by the ark died after 120 years.

After experiencing over a million sunrises Moses plunged into the depths of Sheol where Aaron and Miriam and their parents and their aunts and uncles greeted him. They walked him into his new existence.

Never since, has there arisen a prophet in Israel like Moses, whom the Lord knew face to face. He was unequaled for all the signs and wonders that the Lord sent him to perform in the land of Egypt and in the sight of all Israel.

No man alive saw and knew the Creator of heaven and earth as did Moses. No one.

The baby in the basket escaped death to become the son of Pharaoh and a servant of God. Moses was the most ALIVE man that ever lived, until Christmas Day.

ALIVE: Chapter 74: About Failure

Israel continued to walk and talk and walk some more as if the Promise Land was a million miles away when in reality they were walking away from it.

In His frustration with this pack of ungrateful people, as faithless as Eve as weak as Adam, God’s fury subdued by the intercession of Moses, did not go unsatisfied. Moses and Aaron as they walked could not shake the chilling memory of God’s wrath when He said to them, “I will do the very things I heard the faithless fearful people say: their dead bodies shall fall in this very wilderness; and all the people from twenty years old and upward who have complained against Me, not one of them shall come into the land in which I swore to settle you, except Caleb and Joshua. But your little ones, who you said would become booty, I will bring in, and they shall know the land that their parents despised. But as for them, their dead bodies shall fall in this wilderness. And their children shall be shepherds in the wilderness for forty years, and shall suffer for their parent’s faithlessness, until the last of their dead bodies lies in the wilderness. According to the number of days in which you spied out the land, forty days, for every day a year, you shall all bear out your iniquity, forty years, and you shall know My displeasure.”

The memory of this haunted Moses who was both as disgusted with the people and as he was grieved by the sentence of forty years of this miserable trek. The notion that he was leading most of these people to their death was like a millstone hung around his neck as he walked. Moses suffered for the iniquity of the people Israel. How he suffered. Every painful step was a reminder of the wastefulness of disobedience and faithlessness, none of which was his own doing.

To turn the face of Moses forward God proceeded to dispense more and more rules of conduct and of worship and punishments with increasing specificity. God even gave Moses rules to follow “when they enter the Promise Land” as if he would remember.

One Sabbath day when the Israelites were camped, a man was spotted gathering sticks. Those who found him brought him to Moses and Aaron who put him in custody because it was not clear what should be done to him.

Moses inquired of the Lord Who replied, “The man should be put to death; all the congregation shall stone him outside the camp.”

Hearing the shocking sentence, Moses dispatched Korah and Dothan to tie up the man’s hands and feet with a heavy rope and to drag the convict away from the camp. The rest of the congregation solemnly followed gathering stones large a small along the way.

“This is far enough.” said Dothan and dropped the man who fell to the ground in a fetal position.

For every man and child surrounding him one or two stones was obediently hurled at the wretch who dared to gather sticks on the sabbath in defiance of the command to keep the Sabbath holy. Being stoned is a slow and painful way to die. More than an hour went by before it was certain that he breathed no more. His family wailed. When it was over, his father and brothers carried the body of their beloved to a soft rootless spot in the wilderness and buried it there as deep into the earth as they could manage with the tools they had, their grief subdued by hard labor.

The next morning Moses told the numb people, who killed their own tribesman on behalf of the God they often complain about, to pack up camp and start walking again. There was to be no period of mourning; they needed to remove themselves as far and as fast as they could from that unclean dead man. Moses was the first to be ready and took the lead allowing the thousands of others to catch up as they needed time to pack. 

As he walk Moses wondered, if not Canaan then where were they to go? Where was the Promise Land that flowed with milk and honey, and had weak people, rather than strong healthy people to displace? Where would they walk to for forty years that would take them back to the place they were leaving?

Even Caleb’s sister Hannah’s joyfulness slowly submerged into the malaise of movement as the bane of her existence. Eating manna, drinking water, and walking was all they could do. After the first year of this circular occupation day after day there was neither memory of the past nor hope for the future. The sons and daughters of Jacob became bonafide nomads.

Dramas popped up from time to time. One occurred when three men wanted to displace Moses and Aaron as the leaders.  God opened the earth which consumed these men and their families and all of their possessions sending them all to Hades to suffer for their hubris.

Another time, there was a plague in which thousands of people died. Some of the survivors wished death would free them from the bondage of their nomadic existence.

Miriam died at Kadesh in the wilderness of Zin. Aaron mourned her, as did Moses. They buried their sister’s frail white body deep in the earth and marked the place where she lay with stones. Upon her death, many shared the thought that they would still be eating onions by the Nile had Miriam not been the savior of Moses when he should have been killed by Pharaoh along with their own baby brothers. Instead they seemed to be in constant search for water.

Water, the giver and sustainer of life. Water in the desert wilderness was more precious than gold. God knew that they needed water. He could have made it rain every day, just as He rained manna and quail for them to eat. But He did not.

The people only had to ask, to pray for water. But they did not. Instead they complained and demanded it, as if Moses was their third rate travel guide. Many of the sons of Israel growled that they would start a party to return to Egypt.

For what felt like the hundredth time, Moses and Aaron went to the tent of meeting to ask God to provide water for the people. With tolerance and patience abounding, Moses and Aaron fell on their faces and as hoped, the glory of the Lord appeared to them. The Lord spoke to Moses saying “Take the staff, and assemble the congregation, you and your brother Aaron, and command the rock before their eyes to yield its water. Thus you shall provide drink for the congregation and for their livestock.”

Moses went over to the wall of the tent and took the staff with which he struck the Nile. Then Moses and Aaron repeatedly glorified and gave thanks to the Lord as the luminous cloud of glory vanished from their midst in the tent of meeting.

Perhaps for the first time since that awesome morning when Israel  emerged from the Red Sea, Moses was fed up with the people and their complaints. 

Caleb and Hannah were among a small group milling around the entrance to the tent of meeting. Like infant birds in the nest waiting helplessly for a parent to bring them worms, these thirsty people waited for Moses and Aaron to give them water.

Moses emerged from the tent with his powerful staff clenched in his fist looking angrier than they had ever seen him. “People, follow me.” He bellowed to assemble everyone. He then hurriedly walked over to a big grey bolder and waited for Israel to catch up.

Aaron followed Moses feeling uncomfortable. He was reminded of how angry Moses was when he returned from Mt. Sinai to find them worshipping the golden calf that they had made. Only this time Moses was more wrapped up in himself, and uncharacteristically disconnected from God. Aaron could not shake a strange and awful feeling that something was very different and very wrong. 

As Moses waited for everyone to assemble he surveyed the crowd that seemed to be sucking the life out of him clutching the staff harder and harder until his fingernails pierced his own skin.

When the thirsty congregation was fully assembled and quieted all looking to Moses for relief he bellowed, “Listen you rebels, shall we bring water out of this rock?” Then Moses lifted up his hand and struck the rock twice with his staff; water came out abundantly, and the congregation and their livestock drank and drank to their hearts content.

Gracefeld and Perambula looked wide-eyed at Moses in near disbelief, and then over to God and then to each other. As water rained on the parched people a deep crack had formed between Moses and the Lord. A fissure that could not be ignored.

Aaron thought to himself, ‘That is not what God told him to say.’ For even in his relative dullness of spirit Aaron knew that this time was different from the other time Moses struck the rock at Horeb to get water. Both incidents were said to be at Meribah, but last time Moses perceived that the sons of Israel tested the Lord saying, “Is the Lord among us or not?” This time Moses took credit for producing the water. That was wrong. It was inaccurate and it was wrong. Aaron was concerned.

The angels heard God admonish Moses very loud and clear. Aaron heard it too in his own heart. God said to the brothers, “Because you did not trust in Me, to show My holiness before the eyes of the Israelites, therefore you shall not bring this assembly into the land that I have given them.” At the waters of Meribah, where the people of Israel quarreled with the Lord for water, and by which He planned to show His holiness, Moses’ in his frustration took the credit. 

For to the Lord, more precious and more critical than water to a thirsty man is knowledge of His holiness. For the people it was water, for God, the withholding and the giving of water was to be more proof of His providence, of His holiness, of His existence.

This was the crime of Moses, to attempt to take from God his holiness, the credit due Him alone for producing water from the rock. The humility that God loved about Moses devolved.

Let it be understood by this event that God has been known to withhold a need, a great need that He can easily provide, to demonstrate His holiness at the right time and in the right way. This is what it means to trust IN Him.

Nevertheless, the rock gushed forth water for all the people and all their livestock to drink. And they all rushed over to the geyser to grab as much of the watery gold as they could, letting it rain on them with open mouths facing up drinking it and feeling its cool wetness on their faces and on their heads. It was sublime. The people pushed and shoved to demand their turns at the cool water. Greed like the antithesis of life sustaining water filled their hard hearts even as the cool water saturated their dehydrated bodies.

Meanwhile, the Lord was angry. Angrier than He had ever been with Moses, the words echoed in the minds of Moses and Aaron for days and days, “Because you did not trust in Me, to show My holiness before the eyes of the Israelites, therefore you shall not bring the assembly into the land I have given them.”

The effect of this decision was not felt by anyone, but Moses kept it in his heart as he continued to walk and walk and walk, as days and weeks and months and years passed step by step. Moses walked knowing that he was walking long enough for the faithless to die, and that in the end, he would die too before ever seeing the Promise Land. Moses kept this sin in his heart for forty years. No sacrificial lamb would take it from him. Ultimately he would be the one to die with this heavy burden. Like an iron ball and chain tied to his leg Moses walked for forty years in a circle away from and back to the Promise Land of Canaan.

​ALIVE: Chapter 73, Spying out the Land

Hannah daughter of Malach of Judah was young and lovely with eyes as blue as the afternoon sky on a clear day, and long wavy chestnut hair that danced like a halo around her as she moved. More beautiful still was the joy that saturated Hannah’s heart and generated the smile that perpetually lifted the corners of her full lips up to her sparkling eyes. Hannah created a world around her that was filled with hope and enthusiastic anticipation of more and more reasons to be glad. She was blind to evil. Goodness hidden deep within hardships dared to creep out to reveal itself only to Hannah whom she often greeted with a silent knowing calm. To the women around her complaining of sore feet, and parched lips Hannah replied, “We must be close to the Promise Land! I feel it near. I think we will soon reach our new home! Indeed it must be right on the other side of that hill!”

Her friend Milcah shrugged her shoulders and said, “Hannah, that is not a hill; it is a mountain. I will be happy when I see the Promise Land up close. For now come with me to gather manna.”

“I can’t. I must return to Caleb to tell him that Moses wants to see him.” With that she turned and hurriedly went in the direction her heart told her to go to find her brother.

Caleb was busy splitting wood for the evening fire when he saw his beautiful sister approach hurriedly. “Caleb, stop what you are doing, Moses wants you. Go quickly.”

Hannah followed her brother to find out what Moses wanted of him.

Young Caleb spotted the elder Moses entering the tent of meeting and quickly caught up to follow Moses into the big tent where he saw his friend Hosea and ten other men.  Hannah stopped at the entrance flap to listen in. Men were chatting with each other, voices over voices made it difficult for Hannah to discern what anyone was saying. Then she heard Moses loud and clear say, “Okay, everyone is here. Quiet! I have an announcement to make. We have arrived! The Promise Land is near! The land of Canaan will soon be ours for our families. We can build our homes of bricks, and plant trees, orange trees! Fields of flowers will give us honey. Our cattle will have enough grass to produce plenty of milk to drink.”

Hannah heard guttural manly sounds of approval in response to the exciting news of the near end of the journey. Passover night, and crossing the Red Sea were a distant memory. Hunger and dust and the longest parade made men feel as if they were captives of a nightmare.

Moses went on, “From this Wilderness of Paran I want you to spy out the land from Zin at that mountain range over there to the west, (said Moses pointing with his finger as if seeing the mountain through the canvas tent) to Rahab, that mountain range to the east of Zin. Reconnoiter all of Canaan; it will be ours. We will ultimately remove the inhabitants to occupy the land that our God is giving us. Go and return to tell us what you have found. Now prepare for the journey. You will leave at dawn tomorrow. God be with you. Any questions?”

“What do we do if we encounter an enemy? Do we fight?” asked Hosea son of Nun.

Moses replied, “What’s your name? Who are you?”

“I am Hosea of Ephraim.”

“Well, you look like you should be called Joshua.” said Moses with authority. “Joshua, you will have no need for fighting. This is merely a spying expedition. All of you must avoid being seen. The Lord will make your path straight. Bring no weapons, but the shield of faith. Now go. Rest up for you will depart at dawn.”

Hannah ran away from the tent so as not to be seen eavesdropping. She was thrilled at the prospect that her brother Caleb would represent Judah to be among the first to see the land that flows with milk and honey. She remembered her mother telling her stories when she was a child about the Promise Land, promised to Father Abraham. How often she would return in her mind to find freedom and refreshment there when she was a slave.

Hannah ran directly to her tent to wait for Caleb. When he entered she jumped up and went over to give him a big hug. “Oh Caleb!”she ejaculated. “I am so happy for you!”

Caleb smiled because he had sensed that she was spying on the men who were being sent to spy. “You know Hannah, I don’t know what is better, to finally reach the end of this trek with all of these complaining people, or to land in a place of our very own far from Pharaoh.”

“You know Caleb, when you think of it, you will soon see with your very own eyes the land that was promised to Abraham centuries ago! What a long journey indeed. The Promise Land has been waiting for us since before Jacob worked for Rachel’s hand in marriage, before Joseph entered Egypt. The Promise Land is real and soon you will see it, my brother! But now you must rest. I will be quiet. Go to sleep.”

Caleb hugged his beloved sister and gave her a kiss on her forehead and then obediently walked over to his bedroll to sleep.

From the first days after he left, Hannah waited patiently but enthusiastically for Caleb to return. She tried to imagine where he was and what the Promise Land looked like. After a week or two many of the others worried that the men had been captured or that wild animals had overtaken them. Hannah imagined that the men were struck by the beauty of the land and couldn’t tear themselves from it to return to the squalor of this camp in Paran.

Days turned into endless weeks of monotony gathering manna every morning and quail in the evening. Sleeping and eating, going nowhere slowly frustrated even the children as they waited for the spying party to return, not knowing if they ever would come back.

Late one particularly hot and dry afternoon on the fortieth day, when most people had given up and just wanted to start a search party the band of men was spotted on the horizon. Children ran up to greet them. Wives wondered what their menfolk ate while they were gone so long.

Moses stood like a flag waving in the breeze waiting for their arrival. When they approached him Moses said, “Come to the tent of meeting to give me your reports.” The men followed Moses to the tent. Aaron in all his privilege joined them to be among the first to hear.

Hannah was at the outskirts of a gaggle of women who also followed the men and stopped at the entrance to listen in.

“The land is indeed rich and beautiful,” reported Azariah from Dan “but well fortified and the people are too strong for us.”

Caleb contradicted Azariah saying, “But brothers, if the Lord is with us I am certain we could prevail; let’s go back and look again.”

At that suggestion a chorus of NOs and grunts ensued.

Moses was furious at their report and in frustration ended the meeting abruptly.  “Leave me!” he shouted in distress.

The men filed out of the tent in ones and twos to be greeted by the crowd outside. Some men stopped to talk, others plowed through the crowd to go to their own tents to find their wives and to rest.

Once the bad report was widely known the Israelites were generally upset. They wailed and cried, after all that walking and waiting, to receive such bad news was devastating. It was as if spring was followed by a return to the death of winter instead of summer harvest.

Murmuring and complaints, and some weeping salted Israel with bitter disappointment. The most emotional women wailed out loud.

“We have had enough of this!” shouted Barak over the din of disappointment. “Who will lead us back to Egypt.” Barak looked around for such a leader while those men who agreed with the idea contemplated how to cross the Red Sea again. Returning to Egypt would not be so easy.

Caleb, hearing this knee-jerk reaction to the overly cynical report of foolish and faithless men responded loudly to be heard over the din of doubters, “Surely people! If the Lord who opened the Red Sea for us, who gives us manna every day, who brings up water from rocks, surely our God can give us victory over the Canaanites. Why oh why do you doubt Him? Why are you so weak?!”

The crowd quieted down to hear Caleb. Then Joshua (Hosea) added, “Indeed this Promise Land is exceedingly good land! I beg of you not to rebel against the Lord, and not to fear the people of the land, for they will be no more than bread for us when their protection is removed from them.”

Hearing that, the congregation threatened to stone Caleb and Joshua who turned in disgust and together boldly walked to Caleb’s tent where Hannah had prepared manna the way Caleb liked it best. “Hello Hosea, I mean Joshua! Come in! She said cheerfully when the men entered her tent. “I am so proud of you Caleb. Now tell me all about what you saw! How thrilling!”

“Sister, it was truly amazing. I saw cattle grazing in fields of lush green grass where hundreds of lambs were frolicking. Real houses! What we saw was infinitely better than what we left behind in Egypt.”

Joshua nodded and smiled as the memories erupted from the deep recesses of his mind as if what he saw was originally born in the imagination of Father Abraham and carried through the generations to pop up like spring crocuses in Joshua.

Meanwhile, Moses remained alone in the tent of meeting waiting for the Lord to reappear, which He did in all His Godly glory.

The Lord cried to Moses, “How long will this people despise me? How long will they refuse to believe in me, in spite of all the signs that I have done among them? I will strike them with pestilence and disinherit them, and I will make you, Moses, a nation greater than they.”

Moses rebutted, “Then the Egyptians will hear that the people are all destroyed and they will tell the inhabitants of the land that the Lord of Israel was not able to bring these people into the land that He swore to give them. Remember Lord when you said that You are slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love, forgiving iniquity and transgression, but by no means clearing the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the parents upon the children to the third, fourth, and fifth generation?”

Perambula, listening to this exchange between God and Moses, was once again astounded at how Moses could keep God from acting on His anger with Israel. “Do these people have any idea of how Moses saved them from the wrath of God over and over again?!” exclaimed the angel.

“Absolutely not!” replied Gracefeld. “Their dullness of mind and spirit are precisely why they frustrate the Lord so much.”

“But why does Moses care?” asked Perambula.

“I can’t tell you for sure, but I suspect that Moses is simply a compassionate man; do you remember how he started on this road by killing the Egyptian in defense of a Jew?” said Gracefeld.

“Maybe he simply wants to defend God’s reputation among the people. That’s how he keeps convincing God to relent.” answered Perambula. “Shhh here He comes”

Gracefeld grinned. “Perambula, you know as well as I do that God heard everything we said.

However, God was too immersed in His exchange with Moses about the fate of the Israelites and their reaction to the great and awesome gift of the long awaited Promise Land to care what His angels were babbling about. Nor did God care at that moment whether this generation of Jacob entered the Promise Land or not. After all, He had waited for centuries and He could wait even longer. As the Master of Time, God could wait.

But Moses’s argument was convincing. It was important for God to be slow to anger, and to be respected which required that He be consistent. “Fine!” the Lord replied to Moses, “but none of those people, except Caleb, for his faith, will enter the Promise Land  to possess it! None, do you hear?! I will have them walk for another forty years, enough time for this faithless generation, for whom I did so much, who I saved on Passover night, to die out. I will allow only their children to inherit the Promise Land. And that is my final decision Moses! Now off you go. Tell them.”

Moses, feeling relief and sorrow in equal measure, sent young boys out to announce a meeting in the great tent. God had found a way for His reputation to be saved while still punishing the faithless.

Hearing the bad news, the people mourned and changed their minds and said that they would go into the Promise Land and occupy it.

“You fools!” said Moses. “Do you still not understand the power of our Lord? He said that you may NOT enter now. His protection will not be with you. If you go now the Amelikites and the Canaanites will destroy you!”

The hard hearted people decided to go anyway, because they felt remorse and because they wanted more to see the Promise Land than they wanted to respect God.

Perambula and Gracefeld were in shock over the stubbornness of these people. They had followed them all this time, and had witnessed much doubt and grumbling. But this decision to face the strong people they had feared, without the protection of God, was clearly the most insane decision yet. “Perhaps the sun has penetrated their minds and warped them.” said Perambula in jest.

Days later, Perambula and Gracefeld hovered over to watch the bloody scene of weak Israel being pummeled by the Canaanites and the Amelikites.

“Well,” said Gracefeld when it was all over. “At at least that’s some faithless people done away with who will never inherit the blessing of Abraham.”

Perambula smiled and nodded in agreement and then said, “If you don’t have faith that God’s promise is reliable, then you may as well dig a deep hole in this precious earth, climb in and go to sleep forever. Because you are less than a mustard seed. You are less than nourishing manure. You are only matter. Useless matter, rubbish waiting for the burn so you don’t take up room on the earth.”

Gracefeld replied, “Perambula, you sound so human all of a sudden! What has come over you?”

Perambula suddenly feeling particularly human added, “But, if you only want the Promise to be true, then you must act on it. You must demonstrate to the ounce of your doubting self that you believe. Don’t look at any the obstacles the enemy of man and God will set before you to dissuade you, to turn you into rubbish.

Not all of your wishes are promises to be sure. But when you receive a Promise, you will know the difference. A Promise comes from outside yourself. It is a ray of light, impossible to catch but luminous and revealing. Let the Promise enter your heart and hold it fast. Be happy and be patient. Sometimes it will be manifest in a bold miraculous way, and sometimes the appearance of the Promise will happen so gradually that you didn’t even noticed until years later that it came true. When you realize it, all you can do is smile and feel the warmth of joy generated by your heart.”

“Who are you talking to?” asked Gracefeld looking around.

“I am talking to the reader silly! Now let’s go for a ride. I’ll race you to that cumulus cloud!”

Before Gracefeld could ask which one, Perambula was off like a rocket. Gracefeld followed Perambula just for the fun of it.

Foolish Jealousy

Perambula and Gracefeld obediently returned to earth silently swooping through the air, invisible, inconceivable by either man or bird. It was very easy to spot Israel, that giant mobile village. The angels swooped down in tandem and honed in on Miriam and Aaron who were sitting on the floor of her tent sipping tea with sweet precious honey and gossiping.

“This baby brother of ours is really something else, isn’t he?!” started Miriam. “I often wonder what would have happened if I never suggested that pharaoh’s daughter take him as her own. We probably would be in our cozy homes eating baklava right now, instead of starving in this dusty desert.”

“Don’t be ridiculous Miriam.”

“Why did he married that Cushite woman anyway? Aren’t there enough lovely ladies in our tribe to satisfy his carnal desires? Humph.  A foreigner. How could God condone that and still speak to him?” snapped Mariam to add a cup more reason to the deconstruction of her unusual brother. “God picked you Aaron to be the mouthpiece of Moses. Why does He need Moses at all? You, and perhaps me, together we could just as easily receive messages from God to relay to the people, clearly and without that irritating stutter of his.”

“I don’t know why He speaks to Moses Miriam, but you’re right. I have heard God speak just as clearly as Moses has. He never hid His voice from me. If I am chosen to speak to the people, why do we need the middle man? I don’t know what makes Moses so important. This reminds me of the days of our youth, when I was a slave receiving lashes on my young back and Moses was eating grapes by the pool in the palace.  There was nothing I could do about the unfairness of it all. Shhhh. Do I hear someone coming. It could be Moses.”

Moses approached the tent and called, “Miriam, Aaron! Are you in there? What are you doing?”

“Yes, here we are.” replied Aaron. Come in.”

When Moses opened the flap and was about to enter, Miriam said, “Do you want some tea Moses? I am using a little of my honey today,”

“What are we celebrating?”

“Nothing, I am just in an indulgent mood. Have some, I’m also in a generous mood.” Miriam ungracefully leveraged herself up from the floor to fetch her brother some tea.

Gracefeld and Perambula listened to this conversation in awe.

Perambula, wide eyed as usual said, “How could these siblings be so mean and so wrong. It’s as if they are taking a sliver of reality and fabricating a whole evil fantasy from it.”

Gracefeld replied cynically. “This is what you get with humans Perambula. I don’t know why God bothers with them at all. Their inclination is only for their own egos. As if the whole world should be designed to please each person according to his or her own desires and pleasure.  No sense even thinking about how distasteful these people can be. We have our orders.”

“Not all people;” added Perambula, “the man Moses is very humble, more so than any man on the face of the earth. I like him. Not everyone is so bad. But I wonder how God expects us to put an end to this?”

“Since you can hear Me Aaron, and you Miriam; listen carefully!” bellowed God. To the angels He said, “make me a pillar of cloud and place it at the entrance of the tent of meeting.” Gracefeld and Perambula went right to work.

“What was that!”exclaimed Miriam, shocked that God spoke, the shock that thoroughly displaced her earlier bitter musings. 

“Go to the tent of meeting. I have something to say to you three.”

Moses who had not yet sat down followed the voice of the Lord without hesitation. Miriam, who was standing at her firebox getting ready to boil water froze in fear. Aaron slowly lifted himself from the floor. He went over to Miriam and clutched her forearm to guide his frozen old sister out of her tent and over to the tent of meeting which had been erected in isolation far off in the field.

As the siblings made their way to the tent of meeting they tried to look inconspicuous while passing children playing, women washing and men repairing, many of whom looked up to greet them without response.

Moses was the first to enter the large empty tent followed by jittery Aaron, then Miriam. They stood in dark cool silence for several moments while Perambula and Gracefeld were conjuring up the pillar of cloud. God waited patiently.

Finally the cloud was ready and God entered it and caused it to move in a rotating fashion. The people all looked up from their activities to see the cloud slowly make its way over to the big tent. There was murmuring and there was silence all mixed together creating a reverent hum. No one dared follow the cloud, but instead the people either sat and stared or forced themselves to return to what they had been doing.

When the God-filled pillar of cloud arrived, the sound of God’s voice was heard by all, “Aaron and Miriam, come forward!” He said, “Hear my words:  When there are prophets among you, I the Lord make myself known to them in visions; I speak to them in dreams. Not so with my servant Moses; he is entrusted with all my house. With him I speak face to face-clearly, not in riddles; and he beholds My form. Why then were you not afraid to speak against my servant Moses?”

Moses gazed at his siblings with deep sorrow at this news of their disdain for him. He suddenly felt abandoned disconnected from them as if threads that had once connected them were frayed and split. Nevertheless he harbored these feelings in a deep state of semi consciousness.

That was all the Lord had to say. The pillar of cloud gradually dissipated into the unholy air. God was angry. He was angrier than He had been. For Miriam and Aaron insulted not just Moses, but dared to criticize Him, their Lord and God. Their sentiments reflected the height of hubris. They didn’t deserve to live, in fact that kind of talk was not life, it was anti-life. It was destruction of life, annihilation of the air. God could not think of an animal that would treat Him in such a disrespectful manner. But God doesn’t brood. He just departed leaving behind Miriam who had suddenly became leprous, as  white as snow.

Aaron looked at his freakish sister in shock, turned to Moses and said, “Oh my Lord, do not punish us for a sin that we so foolishly committed.”

Miriam was crying uncontrollably by then, her fear overwhelmed by guilt and shame. She fell to the ground and covered her face crying harder and harder with thoughts of what would become of her life. The shame, the isolation, the pain, and death.

Moses, in empathy looked up into the heavens and said to the Lord, “Please heal her. If her father had but spit in her face, would she not bear the shame for seven days. Let her be shut out of the camp for seven days, and after that be brought in again.”

Without reply, but in confidence that his request was granted, Moses lead Miriam far away from the camp, carrying supplies that she would need to survive alone in the wilderness.

The people they passed were in shock at the sight of Miriam all white and oozy. One by one, people asked Aaron what had happened. Aaron was not ready to talk about it.

Miriam was shut out of the camp for seven days, isolated, pensive, and in great pain while everyone else waited patiently and pensively before continuing on the journey.

Gracefeld and Perambula were once more surprised that God could be so easy persuaded by Moses’ plea on behalf of the ignorant people. Perambula said, “Maybe God appreciates his compassion and that’s another reason why Moses is so special.”

“True. Not being human, God has no idea what these beings have to contend with all the forces thrown at them by the evil one, and by their own weakness.”

“I really like that God allows Moses to influence Him.” said Perambula.

“Me too.”

“Would you angels please stop chattering and come here!”

ALIVE, Chapter 70 Ahhhh Torah!

Perambula and Gracefeld were hovering in the heavens on a perfectly beautiful day, which is common since there is no nighttime there at all, but let’s pretend. It was their time off as Israel was busy being scared out of their wits by the smoky mountain and the thunderous trumpeting bellows from God which He did Himself without the assistance of Gracefeld’s skill in creating sound effects.

“Do you know what the Lord is going to tell them to do?” asked Perambula.

“Yes, we discussed it.” replied Gracefeld in the angel’s most condescending tone.

Ignoring the slightly rancid whiff of arrogance, Perambula said, “Well, what? After all, so many of them are already old and set in their ways. What can the Lord expect?”

“My dear naive Perambula, these souls are mere seeds. The Lord will treat them as the infants they are, but more importantly He speaks to every man to be born from now to Kingdom Come.” replied Gracefeld.

“Kingdom come?” asked Perambula.

“Don’t ask. It’s too soon to explain it to you. Just know that these instructions will illuminate and define the path to immortality.”

“Will they know that?”

“The sages will. Some will thrive on the guidance, others will rebel against it, still others will be challenged by it and others will feel threatened by these simple, albeit obvious rules. Some will see freedom through the Commandments, others will see constraints.”

“Can’t the Lord of all just make sure everyone understands the purpose and value of these Laws?”

“NO, NO, NO” retorted Gracefeld getting impatient with Perambula’s simplicity.

“Okay, you don’t have to snap at me. I was just asking a question.” replied wincing Perambula. “Let’s get back to work, I don’t want to miss this.”

Aaron and Moses carefully climbed Mt. Sinai together in silence, dodging rocks to avoid tripping and falling. Each old man was thinking his own thoughts about what to expect, and about the difficulty of the climb. Some parts were so steep that it was hard to catch one’s breath. Aaron stayed behind Moses. The intense dry heat made it even harder to climb. God waited and watched patiently as the exhausted elderly brothers drew near.

The people stood in their pack patiently below, while Moses and Aaron approached the thick darkness, not daring to go beyond the limit set for them. Some not daring to look up as the old men made their way to God, until the two dissolved into tiny specks. There was murmuring below, but fear kept most of the people, except the oblivious children, from becoming boisterous.

Hours passed before the elderly brothers reached the spot where they could receive the commands of God. Like receiving instruction on how to breath, or how to make your heart beat, or how to digest your food and sort the elements of it into nutrients to send to the bloodstream, so did Moses, with Aaron as the witness, receive from God almighty instructions on how to exist, and coexist in a world constantly threatened by evil.

Dear reader, imagine a factory where the maker and the made interact. So fantastic and magnificent was this moment, the moment wrapped in time, yet outside of time so as to challenge every flesh-wrapped soul that ever graces our earth. To be told, like an ancient secret, the Will of God, for the very first time, is to hear the echo of “Let there be light.”

Thousands of angel eyes and angels ears witnessed this moment and were in awe that their God cared so much about   humankind that He would not give up, but time and time again interact with this divine animal to form it, to mould it, to teach it. Why, to what end all this effort? A blazing bonfire from which only a candle here and there will be lit.

Aaron stood at a distance away, frightened to the point of numbness. While Moses faced the sound of God, afraid but reverent. Moses stood straight and tall, like an ancient soldier. The babe of a slave who had grown up with mighty Pharaoh as his stepfather was fully prepared to be fathered by God. In fact Moses was visited with a sense of nostalgia every time he approached the Lord.

Moses heard clearly God say:

1. I am the Lord your God who brought you out of Egypt, out of the house of slavery; you shall have no other gods before me.
2. I am a jealous God, you shall not make for yourself an idol, that you would bow down and worship. I will punish to the third and fourth generation of those who reject me, but show love to the thousandth generation of those who love me and keep my commands.
3. Do not make wrongful use of the name of the Lord your God.
4. Remember the Sabbath and keep it Holy. The seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord your God. The Lord blessed the Sabbath day and consecrated it.
5. Honor your father and your mother so that your days may be long in the land that the Lord is giving you.
6. You shall not murder.
7. You shall not commit adultery.
8. You shall not steal.
9. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.
10. You shall not covet your neighbor’s house, or wife, or slave, or ox, or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.

The Lord God bellowed these instructions consecutively without hesitating between them. Moses and Aaron could hardly remember them all but went from listening to one and the next without the opportunity to pause and reflect. The ones that pierced each brother’s soul the most were those that he felt most guilty of.

Silence followed the admonition to be grateful for what one has and to look neither to the left nor to the right with envy, something that was so unlikely for these nomads that the mention of it was absurd. This last rule relieved Aaron who was glad of his innocence on this one point.

For the giver of the Law, that which is wrong is illegal. It is a false measure, it is a broken clock, worthless, and destructive. It is poison. To disobey, which resulted in death and curses to Adam, likewise means the death of sin to his seed. With his disobedience Adam was banished from utopia, and with disobedience his seed is unable to return.

“Is that all, my Lord,” asked Moses to break the silence.

“That’s enough for now. Go and tell my people these basic precepts. There will be more. Hurry down this mountain for the sun will be setting soon, and I won’t delay that for you. Go! But Moses...”

“Yes, my Lord?!”

“Return without Aaron and I will write this down for you.”

Moses and Aaron were quite relieved to hear that as they bowed and departed down the steep mountain in the sunset as quickly as their stiff legs could take them.

While the two men carefully made their way down Perambula who had been listening intently to the rules turned to Gracefeld and said, “Correct me if I am wrong Gracefeld, but did the Lord just say the same thing ten times?”

Gracefeld replied, “You are not wrong. He just said the same things from ten different perspectives. Brilliant!”

Both angels looked at each other and said simultaneously, “Respect Reality!” Then they shared a hearty laugh and the thought of how simple and obvious the Rule was. Gracefeld added, “Now let’s watch them complicate it and disobey in a thousand different ways.” Perambula nodded with a smirk.

Meanwhile, the people below saw only lightening and heard loud peels of thunder and trumpets. They saw smoke billowing out of the mountaintop. In an attempt to endure the fear they remembered Moses say, “Do not be afraid for God has come only to test you and to put the fear of Him upon you so that you do not sin.”

But they didn’t yet know what sin was. Hours and hours passed as the sun was setting behind Sinai, but the congregation still waited patiently for Moses and Aaron to return to tell them what they had to do to satisfy the thunder.

ALIVE Chapter 69 Pentecost - Circle Back to Meaning

DO NOT READ

NEEDS MAJOR ABBREVIATION!!! Placeholder.  

From that day that Moses climbed Mt. Sinai through thunder and smoke with every Jew who inhabited the earth in one place meeting God, from that awesome day of the Lord to this moment of reading about it thousands of years later there has been an annual commemoration of the holy and unique period between Passover night and the day God handed down the Torah through Moses. Never forget Passover. Never forget meeting God and receiving His Law. And never forget the time period between the two.

The time period is called Pentecost in Greek and Shavuot in Hebrew. Pente means five (50 days between Passover and receiving the Torah.) The word Shavuot means weeks, the completion of the seven-week counting period between Passover and (Pentecost) Shavuot. 49 days, plus the Sabbath day of Passover at the head of the weeks, hence fifty.

“But wait!” interjects the well read reader, “Exodus 19 says it was three moons later, not 50 days! That’s 90 days! And don’t forget that Shuvout also celebrates the end of the seven week barley and wheat harvest. Why two celebrations on one day, with the same name, Shavuot?”

On the fiftieth day after Passover, Israel celebrates the day it  was given the Torah and became a nation committed to serving God. Although it was 90 days, it is linked to the harvest to tie together grain, the body’s life sustainer, with the law, the soul’s life sustainer. A bouquet of the life of body and soul.

The law is life because God is life. He gave us the law to teach us how to live in cooperation with Him. By obeying the law, our relationship with God is reciprocal.

From that scary dusty day for a thousand years Israel gathered from wherever they had dispersed to Jerusalem to commemorate Pentecost.

The magnificence of Pentecost cannot be overstated. It was the day that God almighty proclaimed His undying love for Israel. He said through Moses, “You have seen what I did to the Egyptians [for you] and how I bore you on Eagle’s wings and brought you to myself. Now therefore if you obey my voice and keep my covenant, you shall be my treasured possession out of all the peoples. Indeed the whole earth is Mine, but you shall be for Me a priestly kingdom and a holy nation.” And the people replied, “I will.”

“But wait! There are two Pentecosts!” exclaims the knowledgeable reader.

Yes, and there is not one, but two preceding earth shattering rescues by God.

On Passover, God rescued Israel from slavery. Freedom gave   new life to the seeds of Jacob. During the courtship that became the season of Pentecost, there was nothing asked in return as Israel trekked through the wilderness to Sinai. Bitter water turned sweet for them. When they hungered and thirsted, they were fed manna and water that gushed from a rock. God guided and provided all they needed asking for nothing in return until the day of the Law.

...

The second Rescue by God of Israel occurred on  the night of the Crucifixion, when paradoxically the Angel of Death, instead of passing over the blood of the lamb to kill the firstborn sons of Egypt, honed in on the Lamb of God, His one and only Son.

Yet, imagine the surprise when Hades, the place of the dead received God and was forced to release its captives. On that second holy night Jesus/God rescued all the dead, and the living from the slavery of sin that causes death.

The prison that was Egypt was rendered impotent on Passover night and the prison that was death was rendered impotent on the night of the Crucifixion. Egypt still exists, sin still exists, and death still exists, but they are shells of their former conditions no longer able to hold captives.

Sin is separation from God which is missing the mark of His image and likeness. To divorce yourself from the likeness of the Giver of Life, is to be dead. (To be cruel, to hate, to lie, to cheat and steal etc. is death) That’s why it is said that sin causes death.

First, God rescued the dead in Hades, all those souls who were away from him, and then He set about to make it easier than ever to become like Him, to be truly ALIVE....to enhance the Law with Spirit, on Pentecost.

Passover and Pascha are both followed by a 50 day courting period. High in the heavens above, the stars are in the constellation of Gemini, the twins. Pentecost is the primordial  twin.

The Bridegroom Christ courts His bride Ecclesia, the Church, after rescuing her from the power of death. He walks on earth for 40 of those days as an immortal man, and then ascends to heaven to prepare for Pentecost. On the day Israel commemorated the handing down of the life-giving Law, God descended upon Israel as eternal-life giving Holy Spirit.

On Pentecost the twin, God infuses humankind with life through the Law and the Spirit.

“Wait a minute!” blurted the well reader. “Remember, it was NOT 50 days, but 90 days from Passover to Pentecost. Your theory is flawed!”

When Israel walked away from Egypt three moons passed by before the loud and fearsome day when from Mount Sinai the Torah was handed to Israel. 90 days.

“Exactly 90 not 50!” reminds the smart reader.

Yes! That’s the most amazing aspect of it all!

90 minus 50 equals the holy reoccurring magical mystical 40 days. Between Passover and Pentecost lay a 40 day period, like spirit air, that evaporated into the heavens like holy rain, leaving on the books only fifty days of barley and wheat. Food. The earth’s gift of life.

To the evaporated mystical 40 days between Passover and Pentecost, Christ/God added the 10 days after His ascension to heaven.

A joining of the 40 evaporated days of the journey to Sinai, to the ten days between Christ’s ascension and Pentecost became God’s heavenly Pentecost of 50 days. One for the Law, one for the Spirit on Earth, and one in Heaven too! 50:50:50!

The Bridegroom Christ after 40 days, evaporates in His ascension, leaving the Spiritual Food of His mystical Body and Blood behind to be celebrated with the Barley and the Wheat at the Festival of Weeks, Shavuot, Pentecost.

Pentecost. Acts 2. “When the day of Pentecost had come (to commemorate the handing down of the Torah) they were all together in one place. And suddenly from heaven there came a sound like the rush of a violent wind (as in Creation, Genesis 1:2), and it filled the entire house where they were sitting. Divided tongues, as of fire, appeared among them, and a tongue rested on each of them. All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other languages, as the Spirit gave them the ability.”

The observers were dumbfounded and thought they were drunk. But Peter said it was only morning. He then explained the phenomenon by quoting the prophet Joel, “in the last days it will be, God declares, that I will pour out my Spirit upon all flesh...[and people shall prophecy and see visions and dream dreams.] Then everyone who calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved”....Then Peter went on to explain that Jesus is the messiah.

Time never matters for God. For Him the two Pentecosts happened on the same day with the same passionate love, giving Israel the Torah first, then the Holy Spirit .

Jeremiah 31 “I will put my law within them, and I will write it on their hearts, and I will be their God and they shall be my people. No longer shall they teach one another, or say to each other “Know the Lord” for they shall all know me, from the least of them to the greatest, says the Lord, for I will forgive their iniquity, and remember their sin no more.”

Do you see it? Isn’t it amazing?

Regard the triangle. Left bottom is Passover; the right bottom is Pascha.  They join at Pentecost. One union with God through the Law and through the Spirit.

Infuse your mind and heart with the larger meaning Pentecost to be ALIVE. 

ALIVE, Chapter 64 The Deal and a Meal

At sunrise Moses awoke to find his wife gone. The boys were snoring, that bullhorn that heralds the abandonment of reality in deep sleep. He quietly crept out of the tent to look for her. In darkness, sound is magnified as if it is suppressed in the presence of holy light. Moses could barely hear her familiar sniffles of weeping and followed the thread to find Zipporah (Sepphora) crouched down behind a boulder in deep distress.

“My dear, why do you weep? These are joyful days. The people are free!”

“I miss my father, and my home. We are near Midian, I recognize the hills and I am tired of walking. These are not my people. I have no friends. I was not a slave, and they resent me for it. I am hungry.”

Moses hugged his wife to envelope her in the only comfort he could offer. She soaked it up like the desert soaks up a flash of summer rain. Moses thought back on how much Sepphora endured, and how he had neglected her.

“When the boys wake up, I will tell them to take you home. You are right; it is less than a two-day journey to Midian. Go to your father and tell him what the Lord has done. Take a messenger with you to bring us his news.”

Sepphora hadn’t felt so calm and happy in weeks. She was jubilant as she hugged Moses and quickly left him to wake her sons and pack. Moses had enough to do; she was sure he would be well cared for by Miriam.

Gersam and Eliezer grumbled at having to leave the group, but they knew they had to serve their mother and obey their father. Admittedly, they too looked forward to seeing their grandfather and friends again, and sleeping in their comfortable beds, and eating meat and vegetables.

By noon, the troupe was off on their own journey home. Moses watched them walk away until they were reduced to speckles on the horizon. He commended them to the Lord’s care.

That night, alone in his empty tent by the sweetened waters of Marah, Moses heard the voice of God loud and clear in his heart. The Lord had made for the people a statute and an ordinance. It was time to put them to the test.

The next morning when everyone was awake and bustling around chatting and doing, Moses climbed onto a boulder to make his announcement. “The Lord says to you,” bellowed Moses, “If you will listen carefully to the voice of the Lord your God, and do what is right in His sight, and give heed to his commandments, and KEEP all his statutes, He will not bring upon you any of the diseases that He brought upon the Egyptians; ‘for He is the Lord who heals you.’ Now, it is time to move on! Fill your flasks with water and let’s go!”

Moses said no more to the people that day. He allowed them to think about the words of the Lord as they packed up their tents and goods and quietly assumed their positions in the parade of refugees that followed Perambula in the cloud.

“Who was this God who brings on diseases and heals?”

“Where are we going? I am so hungry.”

“What are these commands and statutes and ordinances that we should obey them? How can we obey what we don’t know?”

Every day brought more unfamiliar experiences, thoughts, and places. If it can be said that Israel was reborn in the Red Sea, it was now in the toddler stage of wonder and learning.

Moses descended the boulder and began packing with the rest. He also never knew where they were going, or what would happen from one day to another. ‘There it is’ he thought, ‘the deal. From this moment on the Lord will let us know the conditions for His blessings, and the consequences if we refuse the conditions. There is no wasteland in between where these people can ignore the Lord and live in peace. The world is too dangerous a place for that.’

Moses and Aaron assumed their place at the head of the mass of refugees, and Perambula in the cloud took position too. They walked and thought, walked and talked, walked and wept.

By dusk the nation of God stopped to set up camp once again.

The following morning Israel saw the beauty of the place they were lead to. A young girl proudly counted 70 palm trees and ran around cheerily announcing her discovery. As the young bucks explored their new home, one after another found a spring of fresh clean water. When it was clear that there were many springs, Aaron assigned one to each tribe. Coincidentally there were just enough, twelve.

This blissful, almost surreal place would have been good enough for eternity, except their bellies growled.  Each day that went by Israel had less to eat. Mothers worried, fathers grew grumpier.

After three days walk through the desert wilderness, Moses decided it was time to move on to distract themselves from the hunger and to see if they could find food along the way, although everyone knew that was unlikely in this desert wasteland.

Six weeks had passed since they had left their cozy homes. Curious thoughts turned bitter with heat and hunger.  The worried mothers and grumpy fathers joined forces to become a complaining mob that was mystically reduced to the one man, Israel. Israel barked at Moses and Aaron, “If only we had died by the hand of the Lord in the land of Egypt when we sat by the fleshpots and ate our fill of bread; for you have brought us out into this wilderness to kill this whole assembly with hunger!” Frail people fainted.

With furrowed brow Moses looked into the hostile eyes of Israel fearing what could happen. The thought of mass suicide, like an oncoming baseball came hurling at Moses who reflexively batted it away with all his might. At that intense moment the Lord appeared and said to Moses, “I am going to rain bread from heaven for you, and each day the people shall go out and gather enough for that day. This is how I will test them, whether they will follow My instructions or not. On the sixth day, when they prepare what they bring in, it should be twice as much as they gather on other days, so they may observe My day of rest and not harvest food on the Sabbath.”

Moses through Aaron made the announcement of relief and providence, “In the evening you shall know that it was the Lord who brought you out of the land of Egypt and in the morning you shall see the glory of the Lord, because He has heard your complaining. For what are we, that you complain against us, but the Lord!”

Moses walked away in disgust. He entered his empty tent, and took a nap to escape the ungrateful, short-sighted mob.

When he awoke in the evening Moses emerged from his tent to find the whole camp covered with quails and boys and girls and mothers and fathers chasing and capturing them. Others were lighting fires with the brush and anything they could find to burn. That evening Israel feasted for the first time since they ate the Passover lamb. And they went to their sleep with full bellies and content hearts. But no one, not even one person out of the thousands who were fed approached Moses to apologize for complaining and doubting him.

In the morning one tent after another emptied out of people who found a light dew hovering throughout the land. When the dew lifted, there on the surface of the wilderness was a fine flaky substance, as fine as frost on the ground. When the Israelites saw it they said, “What is it?”

Moses replied, “It is the bread that the Lord has given you to eat. Gather as much of it as each of you needs, an Omer to a person according to the number of persons, all providing for their own tents. But only take enough for one day! One day ONLY, do you hear me! This is your daily bread! The day before the Sabbath you will gather enough for two days so you may obey the Sabbath rest.”

The people took every vessel they could find and gathered the flaky substance. It was delicious! It tasted like wafers and honey. The first day that Israel ate manna the joy of relief spread through the hungry nation like wildfire. Chatting turned to chewing. Chewing and humming approvals like the sound of happy hummingbird wings sucking juicy nectar.