ALIVE: Chapter 107, CraZy Wise Persians and Christmas Day

Two months before Joseph learned about the census and the need for a journey to Bethlehem, when his routine days of work and sleep were filled by building beautiful furniture and watching Mary knit clothes from lamb’s wool for the Word of God becoming flesh in her womb, more than one thousand miles to the east three Persian Zoroastrian priests, known as magi, were directed by God to do something crazy.

Persia was a civilized country that was a useful color in the palette of God. Centuries before, King Cyrus had helped to rebuild the second Temple in Jerusalem and was famous for freeing slaves; Jewish Queen Esther saved her people from extinction when she married the Persian king Ahasuerus who sought to destroy them; Alexander the Great had conquered and  hellenized Persia forcing his conquered to learn Greek. Their religion, Zoroastrianism, was the first to believe in one God. Intricate artwork made of gold and glorious architecture graced this country of learned men and warriors.

During these days when Nazareth harbored God’s earth-shattering secret, the three magi, Melchior, Gasper, and Balthazar were about to play a prophetic role in the birth of Mary’s holy Infant. The reason for their fame started as a mustard seed on this cloudy day in their town square.

“Good morning Gasper! Where have you been? I haven’t seen you in a while!” exclaimed Balthazar looking particularly well dressed and fit that morning.

“Oh Balthazar, I had the most unusual dream last night. I think the god spoke to me.” replied frazzled Gasper whose puffy eyes were underscored in purple.

 “Really? Tell me. Wait! Is that Melchior?” Then he shouted, “Melchior! Here we are. Come here!”

 Melchior followed the sound of his friend’s voice and saw Balthazar and Gasper together. Not being in a big hurry, he shuffled over to greet them.

 The two waited patiently for their friend to reach them before Balthazar said, “Gasper was just about to tell me the dream he had which caused him such consternation that his visage is dimmed, look at the poor sop!”

Gasper looked up and smiled at his older, typically wiser, friend and inserted, “It’s not that bad Balthazar!” Then he faced Melchior and reported, “This dream was so vivid that I can even remember it now. I dreamt that I was walking at night under a starry brightly lit sky with the crescent moon right above, when ..... wait, let me think. Wait! I saw you Melchior! And I ran up to meet you. But you were gazing up into the sky and you didn’t notice me. As soon as I reached you, you disappeared as if you had been a hallucination. Then it started raining, but it wasn’t water, it was flakes of gold dropping out of the sky. As soon as they touched the earth, the flakes turned into light like fallen stars. I looked down and the earth was covered in a pool of light at my feet.  I looked up and the night sky was still dark and the slivered moon was still high in the sky. I called for you to come back, but you didn’t.”

 Melchior sat in awe listening to his friend, wide-eyed mouth open. “Was this dream last night? Because I had a vivid  dream two nights ago, I think, or maybe three, I don’t remember.”

 “Tell us.” replied Gasper.

 “I dreamt of a king. He was covered in jewels, emerald, amethyst, and sapphires. He was sitting on His throne, when suddenly he clutched his head in pain. He removed his crown, and the top of his scull opened and gold poured out like a River of living water filled with fish. The water kept pouring out until it covered the whole world. I was drenched and afraid of drowning.

 Balthazar listened intently not knowing what to make of these two bizarre dreams.

 Both men looked to their older friend and asked if he could make anything of it.

 Then he heard himself speak as if the words were coming through him and not from him. Balthazar yielded to the phenomenon. He heard himself say, “A child will be born in Palestine. He will be a great king of the Jews who will water the earth. He will be the light of the world.”

 Melchior listened curiously immediately noticing that this proclamation sounded like an interpretation of of both dreams combined.  Melchior looked at Gasper for confirmation. “Is this some sort of message from the holy one? What are we supposed to do with this?”

Balthazar replied. “Let’s wait and see if we get any more direction. I must be off now. Peace, let’s dine together this evening. Both of you come to my home at sunset and we can discuss this further. Balthazar was anxious to remove himself from his friends, so jarred was he by the freakish event.

“Okay, see you this evening.” said Melchior puzzled that Balthazar left so abruptly.

As Balthazar walked away Gasper looked at Melchior and said, “I don’t know about you, but I think we need to take this seriously.”

“I agree,” replied Gasper. “But where is this king, where do we go? Could he be in Jerusalem?”

Gasper and Melchior exchanged dreams again, and still came up empty. They decided to part until Balthazar’s dinner that evening. Gasper went home to nap and bathe and Melchior to reread the scrolls where he had recorded his spiritual observations. 

Balthazar went to his home quickly. The phenomenon startled and disoriented him. He needed to be alone. Safely inside his home, Balthazar went straight for his prayer rug and fell to his knees. “Oh great one, if those dreams and my prophecy are true, please make clear what you would have us do. He closed his eyes and waited for a message, but nothing came. After giving his god plenty of time to reply, in his estimation, he decided to start preparing the meal. Perhaps the powerful one would get through to him while he was cooking.

The two friends coming from different directions met at Balthazar’s front door at the same time. They chuckled in unison about the coincidence. Balthazar opened the door and ushered his guests into his home. His wife had passed away many years before. He loved her so very much that he didn’t open himself to another woman since then, either for devotion to her or for fear of the pain repeated. Balthazar had become proficient at cooking and cleaning for himself. He had a fire blazing in his hearth and a stew all ready prepared. Melchior brought a jug of wine, and Gasper came with two loaves of freshly baked bread.

 “Enter my friends.”

 The three men situated themselves around the table that was already laden with food. Melchior poured the wine into ready glasses. As soon as they sat down they started in. Each of them knew that something very important was happening. They knew that these dreams were messages and that they needed to act in some way. But no one knew where to begin.

 Again Balthazar spoke, “We are to go to Jerusalem. We are to follow the star of the king of the Jews who will show us the way. We will take gifts to this newborn king.  Gold, frankincense, and myrrh.”

In unison Melchior and Gasper said, “Balthazar was that you?”

Trembling, Balthazar replied, “Yes, I mean no. No, it wasn’t me. The message was through me again. All day I begged the god to explain to me what this was about and heard nothing. Now, this happens!”

Gasper said, “I for one am ready for an adventure! Let’s go to Jerusalem and meet the newborn king of the Jews.”

Melchior added, “I don’t know why we are doing this, but I suppose we don’t need to know why, we simply need to obey. I’m in.”

“That makes two of us.” said Gasper who looked over into Balthazar’s hazel green eyes for approval.

“My friends, I don’t see that we have a choice. Do we have anything better to do than obey? I believe our ancestors learned long ago that these Jews have a strange, but powerful God.”

Gasper said, “I have some high quality myrrh that I have been saving for a special occasion.”

Melchior added, “I know where to purchase the best frankincense in the world. I have gold saved up to purchase it with.”

Still stunned Balthazar mumbled, “Where do we begin? When and how?”

 By then the sun had fallen and the sky was pitch dark. The blazing fire provided warmth and illumination. Balthazar arose and lit his oil lamps too. “Jerusalem is very far away. Have you ever been there gentlemen? I haven’t.”

Both of the friends shook their heads.

Balthazar in his robotic voice said, “We will leave at high noon in a week. We must gather our gifts and pack our knapsacks. Gather the gold.”

Following this startling revelation the three men ate in silence. Each digesting the magnitude of the plan.

The week was a busy one. They told their friends and neighbors that they were going on an expedition to study the stars far away and may be gone for a few months.

The day came for the beginning of their journey; the three men were ready. They had their camels all rested, watered and fed.

With the sun overhead, on the day of departure, they headed out on their camels with a  heavily laden ass in tow. Fellow townspeople waved good bye and wished them well. The magi paraded southwest into the sunset.  Being amateur astronomers, they were familiar with the night sky. However once they left the limits of their town the most astounding phenomenon happened. A star appeared close by!

“Do you see that?!” said Gasper.

“Of course I do!” replied Melchior and Balthazar in unison.

Then Balthazar taking the lead said, “This must be our guide, nice to meet you mister star. Onward to the king! On to Jerusalem!”

For thirty-seven days and thirty-six nights this triumvirate sometimes perched on their camels and sometimes walking beside them passed through plains and hills, woods and fields. Wherever the star lead them they followed. The star shined enough during the day to be perceived and shined brighter in the night. They camped and slept every night for five hours. The star woke them up before dawn to urge them to keep walking. They were as men with a deadline, men on a mission. Despite hundreds of hours through sunny days and freezing nights, not one man complained, so unusual and exciting was this trek, so peculiar was the star. They rarely spoke. The food they brought with them was meted out sparingly, for they had no idea how long it would take them to arrive and it was not even the harvest season. The Lord provided pools of water along the way. Indeed this was a holy pilgrimage for these three gentiles.

 ...

What was the star? Saint John Chrysostom offers the following insights:

 “It wasn’t a star at all. Instead it was some invisible power, transformed into this appearance. How do we know it wasn’t a star? By it’s course. Stars go from east to west. This one also went from north to south.

It appeared in mid day while the sun is shining. That is impossible; the sun would surely outshine a star.

Also that it hid itself when they arrived in Jerusalem, so they could inquire of Herod. No, this was not a star, but a power endued with reason.

This bright light didn’t have its own course, as a star has, but when they moved, it moved. Sometimes it stood still. In this way the star resembled the pillar of cloud that guided the Jews out of Egypt.

Also, consider how the star pointed out the manger. How could a star descend and point to a small shed.”

To all of these questions Saint John Chrysostom offers his own explanation:

The purpose of the star was to draw the whole world to the Christ Child. From the very beginning, God opened the door to the Gentiles.”

The prophets validated His coming. They assumed He was the Messiah of the Jews, but He is the Messiah of all humanity, first the Jews, and then the Greeks (who represent the rest of the civilized world.) To show this, God sent foreign magi to welcome His Son into the world. (1 Corinthians 1:24.)

....

Balthazar, Melchior and Gasper found themselves close to the great city of Jerusalem which they could see in the distance as the sun was about to set. They decided to set up camp for the night and start off in the morning to find the infant king.

In the morning they were so excited to have reached their destination that neither man realized that the star was gone. They quickly dressed and packed up camp.

“Now we can buy some food!” exclaimed Gasper who was feeling weak as their food supply had dwindled to nothing two days earlier.

If camels could gallop, these three did. The pilgrimage took nearly 40 long hard days. Even the donkey looked exhausted.

...

The day that the magi arrived near Jerusalem, was for Joseph and Mary their third day living in the barn. Joseph had completed his duty to register, however, the city was still crowded and Mary had been feeling increasingly lethargic. Whether it was as a result of the end stage of her pregnancy or the lasting effects of the arduous six day donkey ride from Nazareth to Bethlehem, or both, Mary was so tired that she couldn’t have moved to a decent home, even if one became available. Even the inn next to their barn still had no vacant rooms.

However, talented Joseph made the barn as cozy as a bird’s nest.

On the fourth morning Joseph said, “I will go out and find a midwife, because it looks like your time is near my dear.”

“Yes, replied Mary, that’s wise. I would come with you. But I think I’d better stay here and rest.” Indeed, it was clear from looking at her that the baby had dropped and was about to be born. Alone, Mary would chant to pray and to keep herself amused. The lambs and goats and the donkey by then had grown accustomed to their roommates. The little lambs nestled by Mary every night and the goats provided her with milk every morning. This young city girl gradually experienced the life of a farm-girl with friends of other species.

Joseph returned with a plump cheerful midwife who brought her birthing satchel along, just to be safe.

“This is my wife Mary.” said Joseph to Hilda.

Mary smiled and with her arm added, “Welcome to my home!” A goat brayed his greeting.

Hilda smiled back. “It is lovely. Look at you, my my, I think you are about to burst, eh?”

“Can you tell? Yes, I am ready. My baby boy is ready.”

Hilda looked at Mary curiously and said, “How do you know it’s a boy?”

“I guess it’s just a feeling.” replied Mary flinching.

Hilda looked around at the barn and the animals, and then at the young pregnant girl and her old man husband. “What an odd situation this is.” she thought to herself. “I’ve seen a lot in my day, but never anything as bizarre as this!” Outwardly she smiled and nodded. Aloud she said, “I best be going now, I have dinner to prepare for my family. Are you sure you have the money to pay me?”

Joseph was not offended at that. He knew that their temporary home among the animals could lead anyone to believe that like the animals they had no money and so were thrown into this shelter, even in her delicate condition. These were the days when many, if not most, women died during the intense act of childbirth. The conditions need to be most sanitary to avoid infection. The agonizing suffering of the woman should be balanced by as much comfort as possible. Soft pillows, clean sheets, music. What Hilda found here was the harshest environment in which she had ever been expected to deliver a live infant to a surviving woman. She should be paid up front, before the delivery, just in case there were problems. Because if there are, the husband is usually too distraught to reach into his pocket. Besides, Hilda wanted to be sure he could pay.

“I will ask for the payment when you call me. Is that understood?”

“Yes, of course. Thank you very much. You are too kind to help us. Thank you. I will come for you as soon as my wife begins her labor.”

“Looks to me like it will be soon. I will stay near my home. Good bye.”

“Thank you again, good bye.”

After Hilda left, Mary and Joseph looked at each other and they both let out a hearty laugh.

“Oh my dear, how can we blame her. Look at us, sitting here among the beasts of the field preparing for the birth of a human. In this condition I feel like I could birth a lamb!”

Joseph went over and gave his young Mary a big hug. “Yes, my sweet, how can we get lower than this! I can’t wait to tell my children about this scene. Our Lord certainly has a sense of humor.”

To that sage assessment Mary added with a smile, “Come my dear, let’s go to sleep. I would love to stay up and talk, but my body is so sleepy.”

Mary and Joseph raised themselves from their makeshift sofa and walked around a few animals to reach their makeshift bed and laid down to sleep cuddled up and cozy under many blankets. 

It was still pitch dark when Mary began to feel the first strong cramp in her groin. She tried to relax and see if it would go away, and it did and she felt better, so she tried to dose off again. An hour later, just as she had fallen back to sleep, the cramp returned. This time she thought she had better nudge Joseph who was snoring.

“Joseph, I think it is time. Ow! Please go fetch Hilda.”

Joseph opened his eyes and looked at her almost in disbelief. “Okay. I’m up!”

He quickly got out of bed and combed his hair. Since sleeping in the cold barn, he didn’t change into night clothes.

The lambs started neighing either from their uncanny sense of the joy around them, or because they were woken up by the humans. The cacophony of animal voices distracted Mary from her cramps.

Joseph rushed out the door. Mary, breathed as she was taught.

Mary’s contractions were quickly becoming more frequent. But the repetition of them gave her the experience to handle the next one better. She relaxed when she wanted to cry out, she breathed heavily. She wanted her mother.

Hilda and Joseph rushed into the barn. Hilda soon presented herself to be most competent. She ushered Mary with aplomb through the opening of her womb, calming her with her motherly voice. “Breathe my sweet.” As she stroked her head and wiped the sweat off her brow. The moments of rest grew shorter and shorter, while the pain became stronger and stronger. Hilda saw the crown of His holy head. One more push. “Come my sweet child, give it all you have. PUSH” Mary’s scream didn’t even phase the animals who knew intuitively that this was not the sound of danger, but of relief.

Mary’s Baby entered the world as a little lamb, fresh and wrinkly. Hilda caught the Son of God as He shot out of His mother’s womb. “Oh! One of those!” thought Hilda. Some babies must be coaxed out, some must be retrieved, and others, like this guy entered the world like a bullet. Ready!”

Hilda laid Mary’s infant on her belly and then cut the cord.

Joseph looked on in awe. He knew instinctively that nothing would go wrong. But his intellect was overwhelmed by his emotions. Although not his seed, this was truly his son. A tear spilled out of Joseph’s eye. He instantly felt that he was the most blessed man in the world to be given a son at this stage of his life, from this beautiful young girl. What a gem she was, and He was. No one has ever, or will ever be so blessed as Joseph on that day, except the Father.

...

The Lord God, Creator of Heaven and Earth, observed Himself being born a human being exiting the body of a girl, His mother, and as He watched her travail, the curse of Eve, the Lord was filled with joy unspeakable. He witnessed Himself emptied of all power and glory, except that which He had freely given to the crown of His creation, humankind. He saw purity, He saw the fulfillment of humility. The Father God would savor this sight and this moment into eternity.

Nothing else mattered, the battles ahead with Satan, the ignorance and complicity with evil that abounded on the earth, the cries, the pain, the betrayals, hatred, suffering. Nothing could detract from the splendor He beheld in that manger at that moment, to be remembered and celebrated, even more than the glorious Passover night.

Yes, sweet Passover the victory of four centuries of oppression, victory over the egotistical clinging to oppression of his people by Pharaoh. By contrast, this moment was hidden from the world, only to peek out in the imagination. It was a moment of exhilaration for the Creator, of joy and pride for Joseph, and of relief for Mary. She looked down at the Infant on her belly and laughed and cried at the same time. Her cheeks were rosy red and wet. She had never felt such joy. The contrast of the poor barn with her inner majesty was as disparate as day and night, as light and darkness, and yet, and yet it was uncannily fitting.

“Quick!” ordered Hilda like a Sargent to Joseph “cover the baby with a blanket.”

“Oh yes, yes, of course. We have it right here.” Joseph lifted his whimpering newborn son, and carefully swaddled him in the blanket and hugged him for the first time with his strong muscular arms. Joseph then nestled his face in the baby and cried tears of overwhelming emotion.

Meanwhile, Hilda and Mary were busy extracting the afterbirth. In the background Mary heard the sound of her baby boy cooing as the most melodious sound she had ever heard. Actually the tone of the Infant sounded like the tone of her mother Anna chanting. It was odd, something she didn’t expect.

The room was crowded with angels too, all cheerful and congratulatory as if they were responsible for the whole event. Cherubim and seraphim alike were present at the scene. Father God  beheld His only begotten Son with human thrill. Of all His creation, even at the creation of Adam, never before did God, who knows the future, the past, and the present as one, feel so exhilarated. The angels congratulated their Lord on the human birth of His Son. God, the Father felt as joyful and proud as He had on the first day when He had first begotten His Son, the light of light. And here was His second birth. The Lord received the hearty congratulations from the angels and archangels and thrones and dominions with the pride of a man. This all human Son, gave God an inkling from the moment of His birth to what it is like to be a Father, to be one with the Child and yet separate. This moment was as close as God, the Father, had ever come to sharing the human experience.

When she was cleaned and ready Joseph carefully handed Mary her Son. She received him with tears and smiles. This was the moment she had anticipated for so long. Her face was glowing. The moment she saw his beautiful little face she fell in love with him. She hugged him so gently but so tightly that she could feel His heart beat; she released him to gaze on His face. He opened his eyes and looked at her with the curious look of a newborn. He was so peaceful, so innocent and beautiful. Mother and Son stared at each other in silent communication. Mary and her baby Jesus had never been so separate physically since the moment He was conceived, and yet so close.

...

“That night, even farther from the city limits there were shepherds who lived out in the fields, keeping watch over their flock by night.

When behold, an angel of the Lord stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were greatly afraid.

Then the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people. For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.

“And this will be a sign to you: You will find a Babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.”

And suddenly there was with an angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying:

“Glory to God in the highest and on earth peace, goodwill towards men.”

So it was, when the angels had gone away from them into heaven, that the shepherds said to one another, “Let us now go into Bethlehem and see this thing that has come to pass, which the Lord has made known to us. “

And they came with haste and found Mary and Joseph, and the Babe lying in the manger.

Now when they had seen Him, they made widely known the saying which was told them concerning this Child.

And all those who heard it marveled at those things which were told them by the shepherds.

But Mary kept all these things and pondered them in her heart.

 Then the shepherds returned to their field glorifying and praising God for all these things that they had heard and seen.”

 ...

Meanwhile, in Jerusalem Balthazar, Melchior and Gasper had just woken up, they had arrived the night before on the outskirts of the great city and were glad. They set up camp as usual and went to sleep expecting to see the infant king in the morning. Yet when they awoke, the star was gone!!! What were they to do?

 Gasper said, “Hey, wait! Where is our star? This is a big place; where do we go?”

 “Calm down!” replied Melchior. “We didn’t come all this way to think we have been dropped. There must be a reason. But, let’s go into the city and inquire and find some food.”

 “Good idea,” said Gasper, “I think I am actually starving! I don’t know how many days it has been since we ran out of food.” And then Gasper flashed an angry look at Balthasar as if it was his fault.”

 “Don’t look at me that way! How was I to know, how was anyone to know how many weeks it would take? We ate too much at the beginning.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry. Just cranky. Let’s dress and pack up and find breakfast. Surely the people will be able to direct us to the king.

The three less than wise men quietly packed up their beds, and dressed in their finest vestments for their visit to the infant king, and rode what they hoped would be the last few miles.

As they rode their camels, just listening to the familiar clickety click of  hooves,  their hunger was replaced by excited anticipation of finding the Holy Child.

In the center of the city, they dismounted their beasts, and parked them near the water trough after watering them.

It wasn’t long before they found sellers of falafel and sellers of kabobs on the street. Thrilling. So many foreigners came daily into Jerusalem selling spices and wares from faraway places that our wise men were not noticed.

As they walked through the city streets looking for signs of excitement over the birth of the king, finding none, they realized that they didn’t understand the language of the people in order to inquire of the king.

Balthazar having the greatest knowledge of Greek asked for the βασιλιάς, (basilias). Most of the men shrugged their shoulders in confusion and then ignored him.

“Let’s go to the temple” Suggested Melchior, “surely there are learned men there who speak Greek.”

“Good idea” replied Balthazar. And off they went with full tummies, feeling rejuvenated they walked to the temple.

Jerusalem was a bigger city than they expected to find. Balthazar spotted a rabbi, and approached him, and with his broken Greek he said, “Where can I find the king of the Jews? The infant.” He didn’t know the word for infant and so said it in his native tongue. The rabbi spoke fast, which confused Balthazar, but he also pointed to the palace on the hill.

“Of course, and thank you.” All three Persians smiled and nodded in gratitude and bade farewell to their guide. Then they headed through the winding cobblestone streets in the direction of the finger. From time to time, saying with the most inquisitive voice, “basilias.” And pointing. This gesture with some successes and some failures finally guided them to the palace.

Having arrived, they told the guards that they were looking for the king.

A guard asked them in Greek what their business was and then asked them to wait.

After quite a long while, the three Persians in their finest garb, followed the guard through the palace to see the king.

Walking through the palace the triumvirate listened for sounds of a baby crying, but heard none.

Finally they were guided to the throne room where curious Herod awaited the foreign delegation.

“May I help you gentlemen?” The king spoke in his cleanest Greek to be able to communicate with the foreigners.

Balthazar replied, also in Greek, “Where is He who has been born King of the Jews? For we have seen His star in the East and have come to worship Him.”

When Herod heard this, he was troubled but disguised his consternation.

“Please friends, surely you must be tired from your journey. My servant will take you to the royal dining room and feed you, then you will return and I will tell you.” The guards immediately ushered the magi through the palace to a large comfortable sitting room where they were treated to dried figs and tea.

Meanwhile, to his servant the king said, “Immediately gather the chief priests and scribes of the people together and bring them here within the hour.”

The king nervously tapped his toe while waiting for the priests to come. He had instructed that the Persians should not be allowed to return until he called for them.

For their part Balthazar, Melchior and Gasper were happy to be inside the palace. They reveled in the grandeur, the aromas, the magnificence of the palace and were in no hurry to leave, especially before knowing where they were to go.

The chief priests and scribes arrived. The king glared at them with all the power of his authority over them and said, “Well?! What have you to say? Answer me!”

The spokesman for the troupe of Jewish sages replied timidly, “in Bethlehem of Judea, for as it is written by the prophet Micah,

But you, O Bethlehem of Ephrathah who are one of the littles clans of Judah, from you shall come forth for Me one who is to rule in Israel, whose origin is from of old, from the ancient days.

Therefore he shall give them up until the time when she who is in labor has brought forth; then the rest of his kindred shall return to the people of Israel. And he shall stand and feed his flock in the strength of the Lord, in the majesty of the name of the Lord his God.

And they shall live secure, for now he shall be great to the ends of the earth; and he shall be the one of peace.’ The priest looked up at the kings as if to say, “Is this what you want to know?”

“Thank you, you are dismissed.” heralded Herod. “Call in the foreigners.”

Balthazar, Melchior and Gasper during the time of waiting grew familiar and comfortable in the palace and this time walked confidently into the throne room to hear where to find the newborn king.

Herod shrewdly took on a calm and fatherly demeanor saying, “You will find what you seek in Bethlehem. Go and search carefully for the child and when you have found Him, bring back word to me, that I may come and worship Him also.”

The three Persians thanked the king profusely and turned to leave, hearing as they walked out of the great room the king bellow, “Don’t forget to return with the news.”

Our friends departed from the palace, well fed, well rested and informed.

When they picked up their camels they asked of a passerby, “Bethlehem?....how much? Meaning, how far it is? The man pointed to the Beth

When Road and explained with his fingers that it would be a six hour ride. Thanking their guide profusely with nods and smiles they headed in that direction and soon found the Bethlehem Road refreshed and ready, glad that they may arrive before dark, if they were quick.

No sooner were they on the outskirts of Jerusalem again, and riding through the plains than did their star reappear!

Gasper gasped, “Look, our star!”

Even though they found out they had to go to Bethlehem, the star reappeared not just to show them the road to Bethlehem, everyone knew that, but to take them to the exact spot where the Baby was.’ St. John Chrysostom.

Melchior said, “That’s strange. Why did we go to the palace?”

Balthazar answered, “We may never know. Besides it doesn’t matter, our journey’s end is near! Alleluia!”

The next several hours were speechless as each magi bobbed up and down on his camel within a swirl of his own thoughts and observations of the countryside.  The familiar star looked more clear and bright than ever.

As they rode into Bethlehem village the star shrunk, but was more distinct as the sun was setting by then. The magi and their camels went through the village not knowing what they would find, watching the star intently for the destination. The three men looked at each other and shrugged as they followed the star through the center of the village to the other side where the buildings were sparse.

Balthazar was in the lead, with Melchior and Gasper traveling side by side behind him. Then the star stopped between a barn and an inn. The magi looked at each other wondering how this could be? And yet the star could not have led them all the way from Persia to make a mistake now! Even the stop in Jerusalem when the star disappeared did not startle the magi as much as seeing it hovering over a stable.

Once they were clear that the star had stopped, the magi dismounted their camels and tied them to a tree. They looked at the large Inn, and thought surely this is the palace of the newborn king, but no. Then the star lowered itself and moved very slowly to beckon them over to the stable. The wide door was open. The dimmed star entered the barn! Gasper, who was either the bravest, or the most curious, walked over and peeked inside the opened door and whispered loudly, “Look! There is an infant in here! This must be the place!” Then instead of walking in, Gasper went back to where his companions were waiting.

The initial glimpse of the long sought Infant filled the men with emotion. Women would have wept, but they were men and less inclined to give in to their feelings.

Gasper threw one arm over Melchior’s shoulder and pulled him in. Then Balthazar drew near. With arms on each other’s shoulders the travelers bowed their head in prayer. The unlikeliness that the stable would be their destination, suddenly showed them that they found what they came for; that the Infant was divine; it had been a fruitful journey.

Thanking their god and the star for bringing them to this destination after over a month of travel, they dispersed from their huddle and walked over to their camels to retrieve their gifts. “Are we ready?” asked Balthazar.

In unison Melchior and Gasper replied with a hushed but confident “Yes.”

The three men processed to the opened door. Inside they all saw the mother, the father, the Infant, the lambs and goats and a donkey, and the shepherds. Seeing the shepherds encouraged them that this scene was not as intimate as they feared.

Balthazar knocked on the open door and in his best Greek said, “χαιρετε.”

Joseph, in his protective fatherly frame of mind was the first to look up. The look on the faces of the magi assured him that these unusual visitors, these regal men bearing gifts were sent by the Lord, and so Joseph welcomed them. He walked over to the entrance where they stood and with his arm ushered them to enter.

The baby Jesus cooed, Mary smiled. She sensed that the Baby welcomed the magi too. His voice was like the sound of a harp. So melodious, so beautiful, surely an inheritance from His mother and grandmother.

Because of the language barrier they couldn’t have a conversation, so Balthazar, Melchior and Gasper held out their gifts.

The shepherds stepped back, and excused themselves as they needed to get back to their flock. Joseph and Mary thanked them for their visit and wished them well.

After the shepherds departed, Gasper was the first to approach the mother and infant with his bottle of myrrh. When God saw the myrrh a tear welled up in His beneficent eye, being reminded that His Son would be anointed with myrrh at His crucifixion.

Unaware of God’s grief, Gasper stepped back to make room for Melchior who approached the mother and with a deep bow and presented his finest Frankincense. Mary received it with pleasure and gratitude. She asked Joseph to take some and light it then to show how pleased she was with the very valuable gift. The beautiful aroma filled the manger with a royal scent. Closed eyes transformed the space into a palace. The aroma ascended into the heavens and pleased the Lord too. How fitting a gift for the Father.

Mary sat in awe of these three men. Where did they come from and why? How did they find me in this remote barn living among lambs and goats? Perhaps this visit and the one from the sweet young shepherds was the first outward sign that God, the Father of her Son, came out of hiding to show her that in spite of this lowly condition, this dusty dirty space, His glory, His Wisdom shined forth. It was so much easier to accept the cold nights, and the strong smell of the animals as she watched her Son being treated as a king. These men didn’t hesitate to honor Him, even to worship Him in this place, in this humble place! The irony both surprised and comforted Mary. It was the first sign of God’s Providence since she had left Nazareth and that special week alone with the Lord. After so many days of hardship and disappointment since they left Nazareth, a hint of Divine Reason appeared to her. 

Actually, the source of her disappointment and grief was turned to exhilaration. She lowered her head and gave glory to God forever and ever.

Mary looked up to see the most regal Balthazar who had waited for her, with no regard whatsoever for the lowly scene. He behaved as if he was in Alexander’s palace with a retinue of servants surrounded by artwork, and presented the infant with two hands filled with gold coins.

The three magi were speechless because of the language barrier, and yet words would have only detracted from the scene. They encircled the infant in His cradle made by Joseph of hay and covered with blankets and bowed their heads and worshipped the king of the Jews. And so it was at His birth and not again until His crucifixion was Jesus the Christ recognized to be King of the Jews.

Saint John Chrysostom of this scene wrote, “The wise men offered gifts, but not just the material gifts, but foreshadowing the gifts of the Church, of knowledge, and obedience and love that they offered Him. They saw a star, and found the Sun of Righteousness.”

ALIVE: Chapter 106 The Journey to Bethlehem

Mary asked to stay in her home until it was time to leave for Bethlehem. She wanted to be alone, to pray and to rest. She was so grateful to have been taught to read in her youth at the Temple. During the day she scoured through her papa’s Pentateuch, and books of history, and the Book of Prophets. She looked for more prophecies about her Infant and about herself to guide her and to strengthen her for the difficult journey that lay ahead.

Sometimes she read aloud for her Son to hear. She imagined that He must know all of this, but that His mind was being emptied while in her womb; she would need to teach Him all over again. “Imagine that,” thought Mary with a giggle, “teaching God about His creation? I who know not a crumb of what He knows! God is funny. He makes me laugh.” God smiled at His young mother, and with a spirit-nod confirmed that indeed her Holy Infant knows more than is written in the volumes she has been reading. But she was also right that’s He will enter the world as waking from a dream, with only a vague and fleeting recollection of where He came from. Crying and cooing. 

“Yet” said the still smiling Lord as He silently assured Mary that what will remain, and never leave, will be His wisdom, His love, His essence. “Our Son has a lot to teach you, My little mother!”  

This was a most Holy Week for Mary. This week of peace, privacy and prayer, the cycle of sunrise, afternoon, sunset, and dark nights uninterrupted was even better than the weeks with Elizabeth. She was with the Lord, the Father of her Son. Her Holy Child filled her soul with wisdom as His DNA circulated through her bloodstream into every vein and artery saturating her with fluid divinity.  

Even as the Babe within her was preparing to enter the cold world of sunlight and starlight, Mary was growing too in the womb that was the home of her parents Joachim and Anna. She felt herself evolving slowly, becoming more yielding, more peaceful. How ironic to realize that she was the baby of God. With a child’s innocence and sense of joy, she drew near to her Lord as He was as nearer to her than He had ever been to Moses.

In the words of Saint Isaac the Syrian ~600 AD. “As an infant goes up to a snake and clasps it’s neck, and it does him no harm. An infant goes naked on days of cold and ice, when everyone else is dressed and covered up and the cold steals over all his limbs unfelt. He sits naked on a day of cold, ice, frost and suffers nothing, because the body of his innocence is swaddled with another, invisible garment woven of that hidden Providence which protects his tender limbs, lest any harm come near him.” (Homily 72). So it was sweet and innocent Mary, who was God’s infant, that ever so gradually shed the fear of discomfort during the long days ahead on the donkey over rocks and vast dry desert plains. She became as desensitized as the infant to conditions that would torture any other fully pregnant woman. 

Other than in reading and praying, her communion with God was wordless. As a hard peach with sunlight and time grows soft and luscious, young Mary slowly ripened. The week ended with Mary feeling strong and ready. 

As if the neighbors and friends knew to stay away, no one visited Mary during this sacred week, not even Misha, her best friend, who by then had been betrothed to a man in another village. Joseph was too busy to visit her as he worked late every night by the light of oil lamps, to finish his orders before the journey. His children too were busy helping him. Joseph expected that it could be months before his return to the workshop. Little did he know that it would be years, because of their flight into Egypt. 

Ruthless, uncaring Time eventually reclaimed the gift of this sacred week. Mary heard the familiar rhythm of Joseph’s knock on the door and got up from her chair to answer, expecting him to tell her that he and the beasts of burden were ready.

“Hello my love. How was your week?” asked Joseph.

Not able to express in words what she experienced, she simply replied, “Pretty wonderful my dear. I am ready.” she smiled.  Joseph noticed the glow in her countenance but didn’t mention anything as it seemed too personal, even for him to mention. 

“We leave the day after tomorrow, at daybreak. I will pick up the animals tomorrow. Would you like me to stay here with you, or pick you up then?”

Mary replied timidly for fear of offending Joseph. “I’d like just a little more time alone, if that’s okay with you. I will be ready, I promise. But come in now. Let’s have some tea. Have you had supper?”

Joseph handed Mary the bag he had almost forgotten. “Here, for you my dear, Rachel sends you supper.” 

“How nice!”

Joseph tended the fire while Mary set the table. 

Sitting at the table and watching his young pregnant wife wobble about the kitchen Joseph was in awe of her. He knew that he couldn’t even imagine her experience of the week alone. “I hope you have been eating well. You are feeding our Son too.”

“Oh, I am. Please thank Rachel for this meal though. She is such a good cook. I have much to learn from her. I think her falafel is the best I’ve ever eaten. Bless her hands.”

Joseph smiled the heartfelt smile of a proud father, wondering where Rachel learned to cook without a mother. He was always too busy in his workshop to think about how his home was being run. Everything just appeared, the clean clothes, the meals. In a flash of gratitude Joseph sensed how blessed he had always been, and then it passed leaving a calm,  like a wave that had consumed him for a moment and rushed on to disappear while licking the shore.

...

On the last day alone with her Holy Baby and His Heavenly Father the air was cool and thin, sunbeams fill the cloudless sky brightly illuminating all of Nazareth. Chatting children, roosters crowing, vendors barking, dogs barking, mothers scolding, surrounded Mary with the sounds of her beloved village. She was hyper aware of the joy of being alive. She knew that there was nothing at all to be concerned about. She relished every moment of that blessed day, reading, praying, packing, cleaning; even her simple meals were delicious. She lamented the eggs that could never become chicks, but she was grateful for the nourishment they gave her and her Son. Speaking of her Son, she felt him turning and descending, preparing to enter the world. Oh, Mary thought how she wished He could be born on this blessed day. How she longed to hold him in her arms and rock him back and forth in her clean and cozy home. 

...

Mary was already up and dressed, her satchels packed and the house as clean as ever when she heard Joseph’s knock on the door. She opened the door and was greeted by a warm and loving hug. Then Jospeh took her hand and said, “Come my Mary, let us start our journey with a prayer for our safety.”

“Of course” she replied. They went over to the water bowl and washed their hands. Joseph reached into the satchel he was carrying for his prayer books and garb. When they were ready Joseph took Mary’s hand in his. They faced the rising sun and bowed their heads. Joseph raised the Torah, and read the blessings and the psalms and concluded with psalm 145. They both felt so proud to be of the line of King David, to know him as their grandfather. What a joy. They had him to suffer with and to rejoice with, and now their Infant too will know King David, not just as a distant and famous patriarch, but He will know King David through his own flesh and blood. How fitting it was that they would bring David’s grandson to be born in his own birthplace. 

After saying the ritual prayers, Joseph fetched Mary’s satchel and they walked out of the door taking turns touching and kissing the mezuzah as they left. When she did that Mary got a flash of a memory that wasn’t even hers, but of her mother Anna and all the times she had done the same to the same mezuzah. She wondered if perhaps the sensation came from the mezuzah itself. The world changes, and the world ways stays the same. 

Joseph and Mary walked over to the donkeys that were already loaded with Joseph’s satchel of foods that his daughters prepared and the one with his own personal items. The proprietor and Joseph helped Mary hoist herself onto the animal, which went better than expected, then again Mary was young, and even in her condition, she was strong and flexible.

Jospeh mounted his donkey and they headed out with a caravan of others on their animals, donkeys and camels, all following the leader to Bethlehem. 

The first hour was difficult for all the travelers as they had to become accustomed to the position of their bodies and bobbing up and down, and as they became acquainted with their animals. Mary was glad that her donkey appeared to be particularly docile. He was a gentle creature as if he understood the honor and responsibility bestowed upon him and that he was born for this trip as no other. 

Mary drew strength from her hours of mental and spiritual preparation. She kept in her mind and in her heart the words of the prophet that her Son was to be born in Bethlehem, but that also the Messiah was to be from Galilee. Her every footstep had been directed by the Lord, her Lord, the Father of her Son. Perhaps never before since Creation had anyone been so sure of walking in God’s will than Mary and Joseph on this journey. The baby in her womb rested peacefully. He knew, somehow He too knew that the road from Nazareth to Bethlehem might have been as silently dazzling as the route from earth to Venus. 

The little band of travelers like an ancient parade through time signified the generations of humanity from Adam to David, and from David to Jesus. Adam failed, Saul failed. David reigned, Jesus reigned. This to show how perfect is God’s Wisdom, and His design. The first man failed, the first king failed. The second king succeeded, the second Adam would succeed. 

It was not merely by Roman rule that had David’s son to be born in Bethlehem too. It was by God’s design. The Lamb of God was going to join the shepherd boy. David, the King of Judah and later of all Israel, the man after God’s own heart was promised to have a son sit on his throne forever. Jesus is that son. Mary was taking the King not of Israel alone, but of all the children of God to the birthplace of the King. On the same patch of earth, two humble kings are born. This realization amazed and comforted Mary, cushioning the beast’s every step as she bobbed up and down on the donkey.

From great concern for Mary’s health and safety Joseph too was rendered peaceful and humble by the scriptures they had read. He had been so busy finishing his projects and getting his house and children in order that the journey opened a welcome window for the cool breeze of rest and contemplation. The rhythm of the animal’s steps corralled his thoughts. He was concerned about Rachel, his daughter and her imminent marriage. Poor child without a mother to make the wedding plans. He hoped the young man would be worthy of such a treasure, and such a good cook! Rachel would leave her sister to care for the younger brothers. He taught his sons all he could about carpentry. He was glad to have had a good profession to pass on to them. Too bad Jesse and Michael had to move to other towns to start their businesses. Nazareth just wasn’t big enough or wealthy enough for too many carpenters. They will be fine, Joseph assured himself.

From time to time the caravan stopped for the riders to get down and stretch their legs, eat and relieve themselves. The third stop of the day was an overnight. A large barn became a hostel where the people could set up their beds under shelter from the chill of the cold nights and from marauders. 

“How are you doing my love?”

“I’m okay, probably better than I expected to be. The baby has been still.”

“Are you hungry?”

“Yes. What has Rachel made for us, Falafel sandwiches?” Mary said with a smile. When will we arrive? One more overnight?”

“Ha. I’m afraid that we have six or seven more overnights! Then you can rest. I hope we will find a room. I’m starting to be concerned about that.”

“The Lord will provide” said Mary not knowing that indeed the Lord did provide, a manger where the magi and the star could easily find them, rather than in a locked room of a building. The birth would be a public affair. Jesus was a gift to the whole world, not to a mother and father alone. 

The angels were unusually silent among themselves. Solemnly did they accompany the donkeys, Mary’s human angel Joseph, and the Infinite in her womb. The angels, knowing what no human could know of the magnitude of the situation hovered over the holy family in fear and  awe mileafter mile, day after day. What mystical contrivance transformed the only begotten Son of God, begotten before all ages, light of light, true God of true God into a helpless infant? Only the angels understood the magnitude of what was really happening. Fellow travelers blindly hoisted themselves back on their donkeys after the rest stop for another tiring session of bobbing up and down on their beasts of burden in awe that a man would bring his young pregnant wife on such an arduous journey.

Mary was no ordinary young pregnant woman. Her week alone with the Lord and her angels prepared her for the week on the dusty road, as an athlete prepares for the competition. She was strong and peaceful where others complained, crying for food or water, or the comfort of a still chair. Mary stoically rose above the physical conditions like an airplane rises above dark clouds. The solemn angels gained a respect for her that they never expected, and so silently they traveled in record slowness until the troupe reached Bethlehem. 

A cacophony of bells rang in the heavens to herald the arrival in Bethlehem. It was over! Finally! 

Joseph was the first to dismount and rushed over to his wife to help her down. Majestically, like the regal queen she was becoming, Mary, slipped off of the donkey into her husband’s outreached arms. 

“Are you alright my dear?  Here we are in Bethlehem!”

Mary looked around at the smaller unfamiliar village. The stone streets were filled with people, residents and visitors. David had a big family! Judah had blossomed like an almond tree in spring. “So, we are.” said Mary who was indeed relieved to be there and longed for a cup of tea and honey, and to bathe the desert off of her, and to wash her dusty clothes. 

“I will take you to the square and let you rest while I find us a room.” added Joseph.

“No, please let me go with you. I’d rather walk than sit any more.” replied Mary. 

“Yes, I can see that. Are you sure?”

“I am. Come, let’s go.”

The angels cringed. They knew what will happen. They knew that doors open for kings who are born in gold filled palaces. They knew that like David the Christ would not be born a king, but would be proclaimed one in the end. In awe they watched as God condescended to empty Himself of all knowledge and power to become a helpless infant. They wondered what He could be thinking in the womb, He who thought the world into being. This band of angels assigned to accompany Joseph and Mary on the journey to ensure that she didn’t fall, and that no bandits hurt her, would not find them a comfortable private room where they could rest after such an arduous journey. That was not the desire of the Father. They wondered how dignified Joseph and especially Mary, the privileged princess, would react. They saw the exhaustion on their faces. Oh from what heights God plummeted, from what ledges Mary and Joseph tumbled. Humility. 

Dismounted, Mary felt more exhausted than when she was on the donkey, when she had to be alert. 

They walked carrying satchels from boarding house to boarding house. The disappointments mounted, each harder than the one before. Mary’s aunts, Salome and Mary had died, and her cousins all left Bethlehem for Jerusalem, or Parts of Judaea. Imagine there was nowhere to stay in the village of her mother. 

“Joseph, I’m ready to sit down now.” cried Mary at the lowest point in her young life. 

“Of course my dear.” They found a tree to sit under and Joseph dropped all the satchels he was carrying. Then he opened the one with the small blanket which he set on the ground for her to sit on. Mary took his hand and carefully lowered herself onto the earth. Then Joseph sat himself down close to her so she could lean on him as her pillow. Tears of exhaustion spilled out of Mary’s eyes. She wiped the tears away, closed her eyes and spoke to God. “I don’t know why this is so difficult, but I won’t complain my Lord. I love you.” And then Mary fell into Joseph’s lap and sleep rushed to her rescue. Joseph sat being her pillow and looked down upon his precious charge. What a gift she was to him. What a gift she was to the world. He stroked her head as she slept admiring her beauty and her peacefulness. What kind of woman would not complain and perhaps even blame him for the discomfort?

After a while Mary opened her eyes again and looked up at Joseph and the evening sky and then around at her surroundings to get her bearings. Joseph said. “Good morning my sunshine. Did you sleep well?”

Mary simply smiled her reply.

Why don’t you stay here with the satchels and I will try some more and come back for you. 

“No, I want to come with you. I feel better. I’m ready.” she replied stoically. 

“How about a little food first?”

“Okay.” And she reached for the satchel with food and found some fruit and cheese.

Joseph ate too. Then the couple was refreshed and ready.

As it turned out, it wasn’t far before they spotted a large boarding house on the outskirts of the town beside the fields. They looked at this large building and at each other with hope. 

When the homeless couple arrived, the rotund innkeeper greeted them joyfully which raised their hopes even more.

“Kind sir, do you have a room for us? As you see, my wife is quite full with child and we have been looking for hours since we arrived from Nazareth early this day.”

“I am afraid not, but I see you are desperate and the sun is setting. I can carve out some space in my barn for you. It is a shelter and I have plenty of hay you can make a bed with. I am sorry, but it is the best I can do.”

Joseph looked at Mary inquiringly for her approval, then to the innkeeper he said, “Oh, don’t be sorry, we would be pleased.Thank you.”

The innkeeper came out from behind his counter and grabbed two of the satchels then said to Joseph, “follow me.”

The barn was large and open. The innkeeper set down the satchels and pointed to the bales of hay. Mary walked over to her satchel and opened it to retrieve her blanket.

“I have more blankets my lady, and the well is nearby. Why don’t you get settled and then come to the dining room for supper. Is there anything else I can do for you?”

Joseph replied, “No, thank you; you have been very kind and we are grateful.”

Joseph and Mary looked around the stable in dismay. Over there was a donkey chewing his cud. And over there were two young lambs tussling with each other, while their empty-minded mother stood waiting for feeding time. The strong smell was earthy of hay and the sweat of animals that never bathed. 

“Mary, sit on that hay bail, while I arrange a bed.” Joseph tried to sound positive and stable trying to normalize a very unusual situation as if that was possible. Mary obeyed and simply sat quietly looking around at her temporary home. What could be a more appropriate scene for the son of God to descend from the throne room of the heavens, from glory more luminous than the sun into the home of brute animals? Where was the divinity? Where the honor due the king of kings? As she sat watching Joseph scurry around moving bales of hay, Mary grinned and then chuckled to think that the Lord could not have found a more lowly place to place her and Joseph. 

Mary felt the baby turn inside of her, his elbow poking the wall of her womb, looked around at the crowded manger and thought to herself, “Yes, this is earth my son. We share it with all sorts of animals who are as unaware as a rock of the brilliance of their Creator. The animals who care for their bodies only, for food and shelter. Sleeping and waking. Pain and pleasure chasing the tail of the other. The strata of life from the pinnacle of God, my God Who has been so near to me during these months, and Joseph, my blessing, my angel.” She looked over at Joseph who was busily making furniture from hay. “He is a good, and loving man, a good provider, and look at these innocent furry animals living to supply us with food and clothing. Yes, welcome to earth my son. Breathe in the baseness of life in this place.”

Then Mary watched as two little lambs, curious about their visitors, went over to Joseph and sniffed around him. She looked at the donkey ignoring them all. Mary thought about Noah and his animals floating in their protected ark surrounded by the sea filled with the dead and fish swimming all around them. A stinging chill suddenly came upon her as night fell and there was only an oil lamp to warm themselves by. She stood up and grabbed the blanket she was sitting on to wrap it around her shoulders. Her nose was so cold  and she wished that she had the curly tight fur of the little lamb. Soon her teeth started chattering. To try to divert herself from the cold, she continued to think about being in Noah’s ark and realized how perfect it was for God to surround them with animals as He had Noah. “It’s as if the world is starting for the third time!” she thought. “In the beginning, God made the animals, and on the same day He made Adam and Eve. The first world. Then, the world started all over again, after the flood when Noah and his wife and his sons and the animals were all there was of life on earth. The second new world! And now, how perfect!!! Just as the animals found refuge from Noah and the ark, Jesus and Joseph and I are finding refuge in the shelter of the animals.” Mary chuckled at the coincidence. “My Son the animals are near again for the third start of a new world on this earth. I don’t know what it is, but I think God has great plans for you!” 

Joseph heard Mary’s chattering teeth and looked over at her. “Oh my dear!” Then he stopped trying to build a bed with hay and went over to hug her and warm her with his own body heat. “Come, I think this bed is good enough. Joseph had strewn a blanket over the straw and formed a pillow too. They laid down together and covered themselves with the other blanket. 

They were too cold to sleep, and so Mary said, “Isn’t this funny? How you and I are the only two people in the world that know that .... oh I don’t even know if I can say it aloud.”

Joseph competed her sentence, “that in your womb lies the Creator of the world.”

Mary blushed. “We could never say it. No one can know because they would probably...”

“Hurt you, and we can’t let that happen. But then it would only be the demons and those that they possess who would do that. The rest of the people would not even believe it, and they would mock you and criticize you. Yes, my dear, for as long as God wishes. This is our secret.”

Mary replied, “Well, I think us having to sleep in this cold barn is a great way to guard the secret.” And then she laughed a hearty laugh that warmed her from the inside. “And you, my dear are part of God’s great farce.” she added with a big smile. 

“And I am happy to be that.” Joseph added with a smile of his own and a hug for his wife. “Now let’s try to sleep. Then we will forget the cold.

As if sent by the Lord, the little lambs walked over to the mound that was Mary and Joseph and cuddled up to Mary to warm her and protect her.

Mary felt the warmth of the little lambs and their mother on her back and legs and she silently thanked God. Joseph noticed and squeezed her to express his own joy that the heavenly Father could so easily fill the gap of what he was unable to do for this blessed young lady.

Mary and Joseph woke up at the same time. By then the lambs were up too and milling around waiting for the shepherd to take them out. 

The shepherd boy opened the wide door, and said, “Are you folks okay? How was your night? Did you have enough blankets?”

Joseph replied, “Yes. The lambs kept us warm.” 

“The innkeeper asked me to tell you to go into the dining room for tea and breakfast.”

“Gladly, thank you.” replied Mary as she dug through her satchel to find her comb.

Joseph straightened out the bed, and Mary helped him by folding the blankets and putting them aside. “Today I will go to register, do you want to stay here or come with me?” 

The decision required weighing a desire to rest after the journey, against wanting to be near Joseph, and not to be left with the animals in the barn. Her body replied. Being so close to delivery, Mary was forced to yield to her need for rest. She didn’t think she could walk to the place and wait in line or whatever would have been required of her. She would have collapsed. “Considering all,” Mary replied. “I will stay here.”

“That is best my dear. I hope I won’t be long.” 

They walked over to the inn for their breakfast. 

“Ah my guests, welcome. How was your night? Did my flock treat you well?”

Joseph replied sheepishly, “Yes, we were fine. Thank you for the blankets. By the way, my wife will stay here while I go to register. Is there a chair or two you might bring us?”

“I think we can find one for you. Meanwhile please sit down at the table over there, and let us bring you some breakfast.”

The dining room was crowded but Joseph saw two available seats and took Mary’s hand to walk her there. The fellow travelers greeted the couple and made room for them.

After breakfast Joseph returned to the innkeeper to inquire about the chair. “Yes, I sent two over earlier. Please let me know if there is anything else I can do for you. I also sent over another oil lamp for a little more light and warmth. I wish I could do more. I am very sorry.”

“No reason to be sorry, we are grateful for all that you have done. Thank you. We will be fine, thank the Lord.” 

Joseph took Mary back to their manger and set her up. The lone donkey looked over and nodded. The lambs and goats would spend the whole day in the field. Mary smiled at the donkey and greeted it. She wasn’t sure if it was her imagination, but it looked as though the animal smiled and greeted her back. She thought about how unusual that was and thanked God for His little miracles that encouraged her. 

“I’ll be fine. I will probably sleep some more. You go, my donkey-friend will take care of me.”

Joseph gave Mary a kiss on her forehead, and left his young pregnant wife sitting comfortably on the chair, covered by a blanket with her legs perched up on a bail of hay and a book in her hands and went to register his family for the census. 

ALIVE: Chapter 105 In Me

“The journey back to Nazareth is so bumpy that I can’t even pray. My thoughts are jumping around too. I am sorry to be leaving the peace and quiet of my cousin’s home. I have been with her for so long. So much has changed since I arrived. I feel so different from the girl who first went to visit cousin Elizabeth. I feel my baby in me now! I put my hand on my belly and feel my little Boy’s elbows and His feet stretching and kicking. It is marvelous. Praise you my Lord and King, my God! You are awesome, life is awesome! You sent me to Elizabeth to prepare me for what is coming  as I watched her belly grow. I think Elizabeth’s maturity rubbed off on me. I hope so. She was so calm and peaceful, even though she was with child also for the first time in her long life. Thank You! These powerful bodily changes made us both grow, even as our babies within us were growing. Perhaps I affected her too. I hope so. I love You Lord. 

Elizabeth was right. I need to get back to Joseph. I should get to know his children better before my Baby arrives. I feel so awkward entering the family as their step mother. They are good people, not even young children anymore. Maybe this is my chance to be the kind of mother, Mother was to us girls. I wanted that, and I still do. That was her job to care for us and guide us, even though we weren’t the children of her womb. I will try to be wise like Mother to Joseph’s boys and girls. Especially the youngest one, James, who never knew his mother. Thank you Lord for fulfilling my wish. What a great God You are anticipating my desires, teaching and guiding me. I love you so much.” 

When the coach made a rest stop, Mary got out to stretch her legs. It was there that the idea entered her mind to go to Jerusalem before Nazareth. After all, it was still heading north. She could visit visit Mother and the Temple. She would never be able to go alone to visit Mother and her school while she was a mother to her Holy Child.

Mary asked the driver if a caravan going to Jerusalem would be coming by. The driver replied that it was indeed due to come soon. So Mary asked that her satchel be taken off, so she could change coaches. The driver agreed. As the coach reloaded, Mary found herself waiting alone. Summer had just begun and the air temperature was sublime. Not too hot yet, but no longer cool. 

Satchel in hand, Mary found a grassy spot under a big sycamore tree to sit in the shade. “Oh, this is good! I’m so glad not to be bouncing so much. I’ll bet my little Baby is glad too.” Mary stopped to feel if He agreed but there was no movement. “He must be sleeping.” she thought. Just as she bent over to set her satchel down she felt a movement in her. “Yes, my Baby, we will rest together now. Another woman and her two children were approaching, and then a peddler. It was a relief to see others which meant that the coach would be coming soon too. 

Mary realized how hungry she was, so she reached for her satchel and opened it. Elizabeth had packed some dried fish and bread, and a few ripe figs. “Thank you cousin,” she thought. “You will be a good mother.” After she finished her lunch, the coach pulled up and several people disembarked. Mary stood up, brushed herself off, grabbed her satchel and walked over to the coach. 

She approached the driver and asked if he was going to Jerusalem and if he had room for one more. “This is your lucky day my lady. Yes, as a matter of fact I am and I do, which is very unusual for this route.” After fetching her coins to pay him, the driver took her bag and Mary hoisted herself up into the coach being the first one in as the others were still stretching their legs.

This time she managed to dose off en route to Jerusalem and only woke up when the coach stopped again and they had arrived! Mary was exuberant. She climbed out of the coach, looked around at the familiar buildings and took a deep breath of Jerusalem air, a fragrance of flowers and cooking foods.

I am so glad to be home! It’s been so long, like another lifetime ago.

Mary took the satchel from the hands of the driver and started walking to the temple. A young boy ran up to her and asked if he could carry her satchel for her. Mary gladly handed it to him and the two walked together to the temple. 

When they arrived, the boy handed Mary her satchel and waited. She took it, and opened it to look for her change purse. 

“Thank you mam.”

Just then one of her old friends spotted Mary and scurried over to her. “Mary! Is that you?!”

“Yes, Naomi it is! How are you? How is everyone? I am on my way up to Nazareth and decided to stop and visit.”

“Oh! I am glad you did. Everyone will be so happy to see you! I see you are with child already!”

“Thank you. Is mother in her office?”

“I don’t know, but let’s look.”

As they walked to the office other girls greeted Mary and gave her hugs, which she joyfully returned. 

Mother was not in her office, so Mary set the satchel down. “I will just wait here. She is bound to come here and I’d rather not run around campus looking for her.”

Naomi chuckled at the thought, because they were always looking for Mother. Some girls swore that she had the power to disappear when she wanted to. “Good idea. If I see her, I’ll let her know you’re here.”

“No, don’t do that. Let’s make it a surprise.”

Mary was glad to spend a little time alone in Mother's office. She looked around at the familiar room of her youth. The Baby kicked to remind her that she wasn’t alone. “Okay okay,” smiled Mary. “Settle down my sweet. You will meet mother soon.” Mary began to chant quietly to soothe her restless infant. The angels in the room nodded to each other thinking it was the most beautiful chant they’d ever heard. One angel thought he heard Anna’s voice harmonizing with her. The room was filled with peace. Indeed the Infant calmed down too. He even fell asleep. The Holy Baby was sleepy after bouncing around in the coach for so long. 

While she was chanting quietly, as quietly as angels sing who hear each other, Mother entered the room, so Mary stopped immediately, looked up and smiled a smile that said, “Surprise!” Mother took one look at Mary and gasped! “Mary! Is that you? I was just thinking about you this morning. Oh, my dear, how are you and what brings you here?”

Mary stood to greet her and said, “I was visiting my cousin in Judea and just as I was in the coach heading back to Nazareth, it occurred to me to make a detour to visit you.”

“Oh my, how wonderful! How are you, and how is Joseph?” It was then that Mother looked Mary over and noticed her bulging belly. “Mary! Are you with child already?”

“Yes, Mother.” Mary replied very shyly. That was a difficult moment. Mary could not tell her about the Angel. She had to withhold the most powerful moment of her young life, to the most important living person in her life. She had to  appear to have lost her virginity— to Mother—who knew how much her virginity as a reflection of her commitment to God, meant to her. She had to appear to have conceded to the world, to be a typical pregnant blushing bride. The truth was too self-exalting. Mary bowed her head as if ashamed. Mother sensed the conflict in her precious Mary and changed the subject immediately.

“Please stay for a few days. You are welcome to sleep on the divan in my apartment. Will you?” 

“Of course I will! I am so happy to be home.” said Mary, and she was. 

“Come, let’s go to my apartment now. Set your satchel down, wash up  and then we will go to supper. The girls will be so happy to see you Mary.”

“And I am happy to see them. It feels like years have passed since I have been home. How is the chief priest?”

“He is well. Well, let me clarify. He is well again. He passed a difficult Passover. He will be so happy to see you.”

When Mary and Mother entered the dining hall all heads looked up as if by command. “Mary!” A cacophony of greetings startled her. The Baby leaped in her womb. She grabbed her bulging belly to reassure Him. Mother  guided Mary to her own seat and asked the girls to tighten up to make room, she nodded to the servant to bring an extra setting. 

“Mary, how have you been? What brings you here?” inquired Sarah.

“I was visiting my cousin down south, and on the way back, I thought of how how much I would like to visit you, ... and my parents’ tomb.”

“Ooooh.” replied Sarah. “Well. I’m glad you came here. We missed you, we really did. Do you want to go for a walk together after supper?”

“I’d love to Sarah, but I am very tired from the journey, perhaps another day, I will spend a few days here before I go back to Nazareth.”

“Okay.” replied Sara disappointed. 

Indeed after supper, Mary went straight away to the apartment and to bed. She truly was exhausted. Mother had to make her rounds of the dormitories which gave Mary a chance to be alone and rest. 

Mary was already thinking of what she would do the next day; go back to her rose garden, see the priest. Perhaps go into Jerusalem, or she could save that. Sleep fell quickly and gently for both mother and her precious Holy Child.

In the morning Mary visited the kitchen to greet her friends the cooks. Freda prepared a large basket of food for her to take to make sure the young mother was never hungry. Hugs and handshakes were plentiful. Mary peeked into the shed that had been Joseph’s workshop and thought of how much she looked forward to seeing him again. She washed her hands in the fountain and sat on her bench in the rose garden which opened the floodgates of memories that the place held for her. 

She spent the rest of the day in Jerusalem, and bought a new mezuzah for Joseph’s home, and bracelets for her two new daughters. She visited her parents’ tomb and prayed, and chanted. It was a solemn place. She wished they could meet her Baby, that her mom could be with her at the childbirth. She should shun such thoughts. The Lord knows best.

The journey back to Nazareth oddly wasn’t as difficult as the road to Jerusalem.  The transition from Elizabeth’s blessed bubble to the world was more jarring than from the busy Temple and busier Jerusalem to Nazareth. Actually, Mary and her Holy Baby fell into a deep restorative slumber.  She dreamt that she was in Noah’s ark bouncing on the waves, protected and blessed. She woke up to notice that they were near Nazareth already, amazed that she had slept so long, and glad.  

Since she had no way of communicating to Joseph, he was not able to prepare for her homecoming. Life for Jospeh and his children had returned to normal while Mary was gone. At least that’s how it appeared on the outside. Joseph’s heart remained in awe of what the angel and archangel announced.  Even though he had gone through the pregnancies of his first wife so many times, this was different. Before, he was only confronted with the physical manifestations of his wife’s pregnancies, the nausea, the tiredness, the discomfort. Since Mary was still so early in her pregnancy when she left, there were no effects. He wondered if it would be different with Mary who carried in her womb the Son of God. Joseph still quaked at the thought. Along with his other projects, a cabinet, and a set of chairs, Joseph made the cradle for his Son. He made it out of the finest olive wood, and burnished the wood until it felt as smooth as a kitten. While working Joseph had plenty of time to think and to pray with his thoughts. He spoke to God as he spoke to himself. 

Yes, his Son. They couldn’t tell anyone about the Baby. The Child would be raised as his own. Being as old as he was Joseph felt a little proud in the deception, that the village would commend him for his virility. From time to time Joseph wondered when Mary would return and how she may have changed, but it was a useless thought. Time would tell, and he had only to keep up his home and do his work. Fortunately, his daughters were old enough to take care of him and their brothers. Mary wouldn’t have to do any of the cooking or cleaning.  He was glad for her to have her parent’s home to go to from time to time because with the six children his home was loud and busy. In fact, he looked forward to sleeping there too once in a while.

These thoughts percolated throughout Joseph’s mind as he was planing the dresser in his shop and when he looked up to see where the sound and shadow were coming from. Lo and behold! It was Mary carrying her satchel and standing at the threshold of the door. He smiled a big smile of joy and relief that she was home safely. “I was just thinking about you!” Joseph set down his tools and quickly went over to Mary who dropped her bag and they hugged a warm and loving hug. She smelled like freshly cut lilies. Her little womb had popped out. She was beautiful to him. Her skin glowed. 

“My dear! Welcome home? How are you, how have you been? I’m so glad to see you.”

“Me too.” replied Mary with a smile. I am glad to be here.” As the words spilled out of her mouth Mary quickly wondered how truthful they were. She enjoyed the peace and quiet, the sacred space that was Elizabeth’s home. 

“Let’s go home, but first sit here while I finish this. The children will be so glad to see you too, and you can tell me all about your journey.”

“How are the children? I brought them some trinkets from Jerusalem. I hope they like them.” 

“They will love them. They will love you. Jerusalem?”

“Actually on my way back from Judea, I stopped at the Temple and spent a few days with Mother and my sisters. That was wonderful.”

“What a good idea. How is everyone there? How is my old friend?” inquired Joseph. 

“Oh, he is fine. He sends his greetings to you.”

“You must be very tired. Do you want to rest before supper?.”

“Actually no. I slept in the coach. Can you believe that? I slept most of the way here!”

“Have you been ill?” Asked Joseph remembering his wife’s first months in agony.

“No, my dear. Not at all.” 

Joseph was glad to hear that and wondered if it was God’s blessing, since his previous experience with his wife was so wretched. Joseph tidied up his workshop while Mary sat and watched him, thinking, “He is such a meticulous man. He will be a good father to God’s Son, and I will be a good mother.” Mary smiled at the absurdity of the thought of being the father of God’s Son.

Back in Nazareth Mary gradually entered into a new rhythm of life as her Holy Infant, and her God grew hands and fingers, a mind and a heart in her womb. She indulged herself in rest as her new daughters and sons were glad to do all the cooking and cleaning. They looked forward to the birth of their new brother or sister. 

From time to time, she would go back to her home to pray and talk to her Baby aloud. Weeks passed smoothly as Mary rested and her Child grew within her. Everyone was so happy around her. She enjoyed being pregnant more than she ever thought she would. 

“My precious Infant, my Lord. What does our Father have in store for you?” She would chant to Him, and rest and wait. The Infant rested too, and He woke up and stretched. She began to be able to feel His elbows and head most prominently. That was fun. Living in the temple for all those years, she had not been exposed to a pregnant woman before, so she didn’t know what to expect. It was all so new and so magical to her.

On some days she went shopping in the village square for fruits and vegetables, and cloth that merchants brought in from far away. In her eighth month, on the third day of the second week, she heard a good bit of chatter among the villagers. The news was spreading like wildfire that Cesar was calling for a census. The head of every household had to go to the village of their ancestors and report the number in their families. Mary was a little alarmed at the thought as she was about to give birth. At the news, she immediately stopped shopping and went quickly to Joseph’s workshop to tell him. 

“My dear, did you hear that there will be a census and you must go to Bethlehem? What are we to do? Should I stay here? I don’t want to be separated from you when the Baby is born.”

“Yes my dear! I just heard this morning, but it isn’t for a few more weeks. No, we will not be separated. You must come with me. We will travel slowly. We will leave the children here to watch over the house and care for the animals and each other. God will be with us. Don’t fret my dear. You know better than that.” Joseph comforted Mary as best as he could. He hugged her tight and long to help her feel secure. 

“Of course I do. I’m sorry. It’s just that everything is so new and foreign.”

Mary stayed with Joseph at the workshop until the end of the workday and then they walked home together to tell the children.

On the way home, they stopped by the office that arranges coaches.

“I’m sorry Joseph all of the coaches to Bethlehem are booked. People are pouring out of Nazareth. I can rent you a donkey or even two, but that’s all.”

Mary looked at Joseph in shock. “Bethlehem is so far away! A donkey ride!” It had only been several months since she returned from Elizabeth’s home in the Judean hills and even though she was not half as big then as she is now, she remembered how exhausting and uncomfortable the journey was. The thought of bouncing up and down on a donkey all day, for several days was alarming. 

Then she heard Joseph say, “Okay, we’ll take them, two. We have no choice.”

Gasp. Mary gasped out loud and she gasped in her soul. But words did not come. She tried to be calm and wait, wait for prayer time, wait until she was home. She said nothing. Even her face was expressionless after the gasp. But she felt another kick. He was turning, “Oh my! Ouch.” 

“When do you want them? I have a pair returning next week on the fourth day (that is Wednesday). That gives you plenty of time to get to Bethlehem. The people will be coming from all over, you will want to go as soon as you can to secure lodging.” The clerk looked at Mary’s frozen expression and back at Joseph with a measure of sympathy. 

Joseph was quietly thinking. As much as he knew this journey would be difficult for Mary, he figured that the longer he put it off, the harder it would be. She was due to deliver in a month. “Okay, Can we come on the sixth day next week?  Let’s give the pair a chance to rest before they go back.” 

“That’s fine. I will need a deposit. There is a great demand for these animals, the ones you will get are the finest, they are strong and young. You and your wife will be fine.”

“I don’t understand how the coaches could be so full, when we just learned of the decree. We would be more fine if you had room in a coach.” said Mary quietly to Joseph as they turned to walk away from the transportation office. 

The clerk smiled in agreement and said, “but we don’t Joseph, not even for you and your young wife. I don’t know why you didn’t hear the news sooner. It was first announced last week.” Joseph nodded in acceptance and reached into his pouch for the payment. Mary’s eyes were glazed over. She refused to think about the situation until she was home alone and could pray.

As they were walking away Mary said to Joseph, “How could the Lord let this happen? Joseph, can we go to my home tonight? I need to prepare for the journey.” 

“Yes, my beloved. I am sorry. We have a little time. Let’s go to my home first, the girls will have supper prepared by now. We will talk to the children and then go to your place, okay?”

“Yes, that’s fine.” 

Mary and Joseph walked silently the rest of the way. Mary concerned for the baby, and Joseph working out the logistics of his workload, his impatient customers, and his children. 

When they arrived at home the girls were exuberant and the boys were hungry. “Mary! You’re back! Oh papa, guess what! Rachel is getting married! Isn’t that wonderful. His parents chose her for their son David!” 

Joseph’s reaction was less than exuberant. He wondered why David’s parents didn’t ask his permission first. This was most unusual. Besides, he wasn’t ready to part with his firstborn daughter just yet. It was hard enough to have his two oldest sons marry and leave home. It had meant more work for everyone. “Let’s talk about this later. We too have an announcement. Mary and I must go to Bethlehem for the census. We leave next week on the third day. You will be on your own again. I have a project to finish first, so I will be working late. Tonight Mary and I will go to her home. Now, let’s eat!”

Rachel looked at Mary inquisitively, wondering how she felt about making such a long journey in her condition. Mary appeared tranquil which mystified Rachel, but she didn’t say anything.

After supper Joseph and Mary walked to her home. They went inside, Joseph started a fire in the hearth to warm up the place. Mary lit candles and found a cloth and dusted off the counters and table. 

“Ah” said Joseph  “Now we feel at home.” 

“Yes, I love this home. I am so grateful for it, and for my parents. I miss them so very much.”

“I know you do, I do too.”

“I’m so glad that you knew them.”

“Shall we read together?”

“Yes, I would like that.”

Mary sat herself on her divan while Joseph walked over to the small altar Joachim has built in his home to create an exalted place for his Torah and book of prophets. Joachim was proud to have been one of only a handful of elders in the village to own these sacred books. He had read them over and over again. He treated them as one would treat gold and emerald gems. Neither Anna, nor Mary ever dared to remove the books from their altar, for no other place on earth would be worthy to set them down. On this occasion, when Mary and even Jospeh were confused about being forced to make the difficult journey in her condition, they sought solace in the words of the Lord. Joseph carefully picked up the treasured Book of the Prophets and carefully carried it to the divan. He sat close to Mary but they pivoted to face each other while he read.

As King David had done in so many times of distress Joseph merely opened the book and let his eyes fall on the words God. “Mmm. How obscure?” He had opened to the short Book of Micah and read aloud, “Now you are walled around with a wall; siege is laid against us; with a rod they strike the ruler of Israel on the cheek. “But you, O Bethlehem of Ephrathah, who are one of the little clans of Judah, from you shall come forth for Me, one who is to rule in Israel, whose origin is from of old, from ancient days. Therefore He shall give them up until the time when she who is in labor has brought forth; then the rest of his kindred shall return to the people of Israel. And he shall stand and feed his flock in the strength of the Lord, in the majesty of the name of the Lord his God. And they shall live secure, for lo he shall be great to the ends of the earth; and he shall be the one of peace.”

As Joseph spoke these words, and his eyes fell on the word Bethlehem, He was startled. God was speaking to them from ancient days! To them! He stopped and looked up at Mary. 

While reading Joseph hadn’t noticed Mary’s eyes growing bigger and bigger. “Oh my!!! This is about Me, about my Baby! This was shocking, but affirming. Of course she knew since the visitation of the Angel that her Son was holy, but somehow to be reading the scripture that foretold His birth flabbergasted her and Joseph. They were in awe, and they were both humbled by the revelation. Joseph stopped reading and set down the book. He took Mary’s delicate hand in his rough hand and held it tight. They were silent. They bowed their heads in awe and humility. 

After several moments, Joseph picked up the book from his lap and handed it to Mary. She took it and held it close to her heart. Then, she lifted it to her lips and kissed it. Then, she shut her eyes and, again as David did, she opened the book and handed it to her husband to read. 

Joseph took the book in both hands and read where his eyes landed on the page. Mary had opened toward beginning of the long book of Isaiah, “Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign. Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and shall call his name Emmanuel.”

He skipped over a few pages and continued, “But there will be no gloom for those who were in anguish. In the former time he brought into contempt the land of Zebulum and the land of Naphtali , but in the latter time he will make glorious the way of the sea, the land beyond the Jordan, Galilee of the nations. The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; those who lived in a land of deep darkness—on them light has shined. ...

For a child has been born for us, a Son is give to us; authority rests upon his shoulders; and he is named Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. His authority shall grow continually and there shall be endless peace for the throne of David and his kingdom. He will establish and uphold it with justice and with righteousness from this time on and forevermore. The zeal of the Lord will do this.”

Joseph put down the book and looked up to see streams of tears emanating from Mary’s big brown eyes. She could hardly contain herself. So overwhelmed was she by the magnitude of what Joseph read, of what she was a small part of. Mary felt like a speck of gold in the earth. A tiny spec. It was that evening after months of thinking of very little but her developing pregnancy that the magnitude of what was happening struck her. But even then, she was only being given a glimpse of God’s will for her and her Son. 

Joseph interrupted her thoughts to say, “Let’s go to bed. This day has been full enough.” 

Mary wiped her face with her flowing blouse, and rose from the divan as best as she could considering the weight of her bulging womb. She and Joseph changed into their bedclothes and washed their faces. And then they went to bed. Joseph held her in his arms, her head nestled in the crook of his shoulder. She felt again like Joseph was her guardian Angel. He would always take care of her and protect her. Her mind was so full, that she couldn’t stop thinking. She felt more comfortable thinking in bed, in the dark. Soon she heard Joseph snoring. 

“How dare I be worried about taking the trip. How dare I think about my discomfort from riding the ass. Oh my soul, remember papa. Remember all the times that old man rode the ass from Nazareth to Jerusalem for love of me. How he must have suffered, struggling to stay erect, pain in his back and hands holding the ropes, mile after mile, hour after hour. Now, it is my turn. The Lord told the prophet to write that down, for me. To strengthen me. Glory be My Lord. He sent me the message from so long ago, that I need to do this. Then I must be able to, not just willing to. I am here to fulfill His will. For love of God, I will go on that journey. My Child, His Child is to be born in Bethlehem. I can do this. I will do this. Lord, help me.

But THE BABY, oh the poor Infant to bounce around like that. How much suffering will my Infant have to endure? It won’t be easy for Him, who should be welcomed into the world with down feathers and roses. OH what world could I be imagining? This world of oppression, of anger, and resentment of the Roman domination. The powerful using the lives of the powerless to their advantage that my little King, my little Savior enters. Trust. Trust. Trust. My poor Son. Show us that God has not abandoned us. You my little one, pure and innocent, helpless Savior, God made man. This is almost too much for me to comprehend. How can I shield you from the pain and sorrows of this world? If we must endure the journey to Bethlehem together as one, then perhaps as the prophets strengthened me... then she thought a bit.

You always knew this! You always knew that You and I would have to endure this journey. What else will You have to endure my child and My God?”

In silence, waiting for an answer that never came, Mary fell gently into a deep and restorative sleep.

ALIVE: Chapter 104, Kissing Cousins

It’s about time. Lest anyone think that the Mary-met-Joseph story, and the conception of God come to earth was the beginning of a brand new novel like Dickens’ Great Expectations after Oliver Twist with new characters and a new plot, know this. There is only one story, and it’s His. His-story. ALIVE is His Story, from first Light to wherever the reader happens to be. 

God made time on Wednesday. On the fourth day He created the sun and moon and gave each a trajectory to produce a consistent rhythm of light and darkness with which days, and seasons, hours and minutes could be measured. Eight hundred revolutions of the earth around the sun occurred between the day that Isaiah pulled out his mystical telescope and said, “I see the voice of one crying in the wilderness. Prepare ye the way of the Lord, make straight the paths of our God.” (Isaiah 40.3) and when it really happened. 

His-story is eons long. Like cactus flowers in the desert, the vast expanse of time is punctuated by magnificent events. Every human life should study this grand story, the biggest picture. Zoom in enough and the telescope becomes a microscope. Look hard enough and you can see yourself in there and look harder and see why you are there. 

Isaiah saw a man crying in the wilderness, warning the Jews to wake up, and look deep within themselves at their behavior and their attitudes because God was coming, and they had to be ready. Not since the ancient days when Adam and Eve spoke with God in the garden had such a visit occurred; Isaiah saw God coming, and then He did come, but first the people had to be readied. They had to roll out the red carpets to their hearts and clean the cobwebs of their minds.

When Isaiah’s telescope gazed eight hundred years into the future he saw John who was planted by God in the desert, but unlike the cactus flower, John attracted thousands of people to come to him there. He wanted to disentangle them from the world, the world of diapers, and money, and fixing fences, and sin, to tell some and remind others that each of them can someday see God. The scraggly young man, who obviously cared less about the body, than he cared about the soul, told each person in the crowd of people, to live as a child of God, or else some day suffer harsher than any suffering this life dares us to endure. But to be a child of God, he warned, a person first had to Repent! 

The message was loud and clear that it was no longer good enough for the lamb or goat to be burned at the stake wearing all one’s hateful thoughts, distrust of God, lascivious passions, and suddenly all would be forgiven and life could continue happily, until the next need to cook a goat. Humanity had finally matured enough to accept the responsibility for their own condition of soul. Baptism was brand new. 

Before God could send His only begotten Son to earth with the mission that He was given to annihilate death, His people, the sons of Jacob and their tribes, with whom God had made a covenant, had to be woken up. God was coming to visit! Everyone needed to clean the houses of their souls, get all the dust out of the corners. Wash the windows of their eyes. Change their minds to change their behaviors, like putting on a radiant white garment that spotlights even a flick of dirt.

The job to ready-humanity was given to John. Apparently the people were receptive to the message. They wanted better lives. They didn’t want to suffer any more than they already were suffering on earth with all their sinfulness. It was time to stop blaming others, the Roman authorities or the nasty neighbors for their misery. A person may not be able to get a better job, or a more beautiful house, or have a loving family and an abundant garden of succulent vegetables, but every person’s life can become happier and healthier simply by cleaning themselves from inside out. Over two thousand years ago, the people knew this. They walked for miles in the hot desert to listen to John, and then to be washed in the river. 

They came out in droves. The Jordan River welcomed them. Just as the Great Flood killed the filthy, this time the waters spit them back out clean and as good as new. To the extent that the vision of the flood drowning all of the people distressed God, and it did, it was a comforting sight for Him to behold His people rising from the deadly waters, more alive than ever. Seeing this, God imagined that they had died as in The Flood, and were born anew. What relief. What joy. Between the Flood and the Baptism, we think that many years went by, but for God it was as brief a time as it takes to turn the pages of Scripture. 

The need for the waters of baptism superseded the need for the fiery death of the sacrificial lambs. Cleansing became personal in a new way. To prevent experiencing the eternal fires of hell, the fires that charred the lamb and goat, one had to douse himself in water. Water. Water represents death, like the all-encompassing death of The Flood, but it also represents new life. Water generates and sustains life.

First God asked for fire to kill the sacrificial lamb that bore their sins. Watching the lamb burn as in hell was a powerful image for the consequence of sin. Then in another far sighted prophetic act, knowing that the temple would be destroyed, He called on water, waters of baptism to remit sins. It was a second chance. It was mercy. It was the dove with an olive branch in it’s beak. “Who warned you?” asked John the Baptist of the sinners. “God, the Father did.” replied the sub-consciousness of revived souls. 

God made John. God loves to do the impossible. It’s fun for Him. Once again, as with old Abraham’s son Isaac, as with Rachel’s Joseph, as with Joachim and Anna’s Mary, God opened the womb of a barren woman, Elizabeth, and her old husband the priest Zechariah and for the first time in their long and fruitless marriage He ignited the spark of new life for His purpose, to prove that this child was to be holy. He was a gift to Elizabeth and Zechariah but more importantly he was the forerunner of the Messiah. He ran ahead of Christ to prepare the people for His coming, and then He ran ahead into Hades, to let them too know that the Messiah was coming there too, to release them. But first, John had to be born. 

Once upon a time a priest named Zechariah was on duty in the temple because he drew the lot that day. The worshipers stood outside waiting for him to come out. This time it took much longer than usual and they were becoming inpatient not knowing that Zechariah was delayed by an angel. When the Angel of the Lord appeared to him, Zechariah was startled and afraid. The angel said, “Don’t be afraid Zechariah, your prayer has been heard. Your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you are to give him the name of John. He will be a joy and delight to you and many will rejoice because of his birth, for he will be great in the sight of the Lord. He is never to take wine or fermented drink, and he will be filled with the Holy Spirit even from birth. He will bring many people of Israel back to the Lord their God. He will go before the Lord in the Spirit and power of Elijah to turn the hearts of the fathers to their children and the disobedient to the wisdom of the righteous to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.”

Zechariah asked how this was possible since he and his wife were so old.

The Angel replied that because he didn’t believe the message right away, he would become unable to speak until his son is born. (God had other reasons to silence John.)

When Zechariah finally emerged and couldn’t speak, but made signs with his hands, the inpatient people realized he had seen a vision. 

Sure enough, his old wife, Elizabeth, soon became pregnant. She stayed in seclusion in her home, perhaps because she was a little embarrassed. It isn’t every day that the villagers see an old pregnant woman and you know how villagers will gossip, nevertheless, she was thrilled that the Lord took away her disgrace.

In her sixth month, when her pregnancy was in full bloom, she heard a knock on the door. She figured it was her neighbor come to bring the mountain tea she loves so much. When she opened the door a saw her young cousin Mary, Her Aunt Anna’s daughter, she was overjoyed! In fact, apparently even her baby in the womb was overjoyed too because he started kicking. 

“Mary! Come in! Oh my what a pleasant surprise! What brings you here? How did you find me? Praise be to God!” As soon as Mary passed the threshold of the home, Elizabeth gave her a big hug and kiss on both cheeks. 

Mary returned the affection and smiled at her cousin, so full of joy. It was as if the sun had just risen after a cold dark night in the desert. She had so much to tell her. And she longed for Elizabeth’s love and guidance, as if Elizabeth was the substitute for her mother, now that she neither had her mother, nor her Mother of the Temple school to go to. 

“Oh Elizabeth, I am so happy to see you! Look at you! You are radiant!” said Mary. 

“You must be so tired after your journey.” said Elizabeth not wanting any attention given to her bulging body. “I will have the boy fetch you some water.  You must bathe while I finish making this stew. Oh joy! Here, let me take your satchel.”

“Oh no!” replied Mary, “You mustn’t lift a thing. Just show me where to set it down.” Mary was bursting with things she wanted to say to Elizabeth, and what she wanted to ask her, but they had to take care of the logistics first. Elizabeth couldn’t stop smiling as she guided Mary to the divan which would be her bed. Mary was glad to be offered the bath first and to settle down. She was indeed quite drained after the journey by camel into the Judean hills. She decided to stop at the Temple on her way back to Nazareth to visit Mother and the high priest. But for now, she planned to stay put for quite some time after such an arduous trip. She only hoped she would still feel strong enough to return to Nazareth when her pregnancy progressed.

With all the logistics out of the way, and the stew was stewing over the flames, and each cousin had her cup of tea and honey, the cousins were cozy and clean and finally ready to talk.

Elizabeth, full of questions began. “How did you find me? Did you know that I was pregnant? You didn’t seem surprised.”

Mary blushed as she said, “Honestly Elizabeth, an Angel of the Lord told me that you were pregnant and that I should come to you. It is the Angel who told me where to find you. I know that sounds strange, but it’s true! Joseph believed me, because he too was visited by an angel in his sleep, and so he allowed me to come here to you.”

Elizabeth gasped because she knew that such a fantastic explanation was probably true. The villagers told her that they were convinced that Zechariah was also visited by an Angel the day he lost his speech. “These are mysterious times” thought Elizabeth to herself. 

Mary wasn’t sure how to tell her the most important part of her visitation by the archangel. She took a sip of her warm and comforting tea and voiced Elizabeth’s thought. “These are mysterious times my dear cousin. So how are you feeling?” 

“I am well now. It was difficult at first, but now I am much better. Tell me, what else did the Angel of the Lord say to you? Surely, there is more to this story than that you should visit me.” Elizabeth casually said with a smile, but she was truly curious.

“Um, that’s true.” Mary hesitated, at first not sure how to break the news since beside Joseph and Misha, few knew that she too was with child. “Elizabeth,” said Mary meekly, “I too am with child.” 

“Oh how wonderful to hear! Joseph must be thrilled.” 

“Yes, yes he is, but he is not the father.”

Elizabeth tried to contain her surprise and waited for Mary to continue.

After Mary explained the visitation from the Archangel Gabriel and that she was with Child of the Holy Spirit of God, the infant in Elizabeth’s womb became hyper-active. Elizabeth was suddenly filled with the Holy Spirit and exclaimed with a loud exuberant cry, “Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb! And why has this happened to me, that the mother of my Lord comes to me? For as soon as I heard the sound of your greeting, when I saw you at my door, the child in my womb leaped for joy. Now I understand why! And blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her by the Lord.” 

Mary began to shed tears of joy and surprise. The emotions she felt were overwhelming. Elizabeth didn’t doubt her! 

Elizabeth started to cry with joy as well. Both cousins could hardly contain themselves. Elizabeth stood up and went over to Mary to hug her young cousin. Mary stood up too to receive the hug, and hugged her back. She had always felt an affinity for her older cousin and she had never understood why it was that she felt that way until this moment. 

When Mary sat back down she also became filled with the Holy Spirit and through her tears said, “My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for He has looked with favor on the lowliness of His servant. Surely, from now on all generations will call me blessed; for the Mighty One has done great things for me, and holy is His name. His mercy is for those who fear him from generation to generation. He has shown strength with his arm; He has scattered the proud in the thoughts of their hearts. He has brought down the powerful from their thrones, and lifted up the lowly; He has filled the hungry with good things, and sent the rich away empty. He has helped His servant Israel, in remembrance of His mercy, according to the promise He made to our ancestors, to Abraham and to His descendants forever.”

At the sound of these words Elizabeth bowed her head.”Could this be a dream?” she wondered, but it wasn’t a dream, it was real. “You have come to me, and I must take care of you dear cousin. Yes, truly amazing is our Lord, that He would select the lowliest, a girl from Nazareth, and so much less so, her cousin from Bethlehem. Surely my dear cousin you have rightly said, “All generations will call you blessed. Thank you for coming to me, thank the Lord! 

Zechariah walked into the house at that moment and saw the foreign young lady sitting with his wife. He glanced curiously at his wife. “My dear, this is my cousin Mary from my Aunt Anna. I don’t remember if you had met her before. She was raised in the temple and we would get together for Passover when my mother lived.”

Zechariah smiled and nodded as if to say that he vaguely remembered the cousin. Elizabeth stood up and fetched a bowl of stew for her husband. Mary smiled and nodded. “I am so glad to see you again Zechariah. Congratulations on your son!” 

Zechariah wondered how she knew it would be a boy, but of course, he couldn’t express that. He hadn’t even told his wife. Elizabeth too was a little surprised to hear that she carried a man-child. 

After Zechariah finished his lunch, he went to lie down for his afternoon sleep.

Mary helped clean the dishes even though Elizabeth tried to stop her. Then the ladies too, went for their afternoon rest, both ladies minds and hearts whirring with delight that they had each other to lean on and to help them during these intense days and miraculous days. 

Mary joined Elizabeth in her seclusion. She was happy to be away from the world again, even as she had been when growing up in the temple. It was a time for joy and prayer. It was a time for contemplation and worship, and not a time for speaking with many people, not even husbands or neighbors, or merchants, or tax collectors. The two ladies just had each other. Elizabeth felt so very blessed. Mary was simply comforted and peaceful. This still very young woman was able to adjust to her sudden pregnancy gradually with the guidance of her older, also pregnant and beloved cousin. Once again the Lord showed her how perfectly He orchestrated her life. With every passing month, with every situation, He showed her over and over again, to rest in Him, and to never ever fret. She had absolutely nothing to worry about. 

As the days and weeks passed, the spark of divinity deep within Mary was multiplying rapidly. As her holy Infant formed within her, Mary too oh so gradually that she didn’t notice, grew holy too. What does it mean for a human being to become holy you ask? It is to surrender the mind to love of God, to surrender the heart to peace and confidence and unspeakable joy, so that one needs nothing, wants nothing except to cling to the Lord. And in this sacred bubble she trusted God implicitly. Mary knew instinctively that she was created for this pregnancy and she was in awe of her condition. Both the physical transformation and the psychological and spiritual transformation of the temple girl, and the new young wife of Joseph into the mother of the Son of God occurred in this trimester. Just as the Baby was growing from a few cells a head and arms and legs, fingers and toes, Mary sensed that she too was growing in her spirit within the bubble that was Elizabeth’s peaceful home with her cousin and silent Zechariah. 

Elizabeth and Mary got into a rhythm. After the first few days, they didn’t even speak to each other very much. In quiet and stillness, they cooked and cleaned, rested, and prayed. Mary taught her cousin to chant in harmony as she had with her mother. They made beautiful music together that pleased the Lord and the holy angels that guarded the cousins. 

After three months, when Elizabeth was about to give birth Mary sensed that it was time to return to the world of Nazareth, but she was torn. Mary hated to leave her cousin, especially at this time. Especially since Zechariah was still unable to speak. What if Zechariah couldn’t call for the midwife? Wouldn’t it be best for Mary to be there? She also felt she should stay to help her when the baby came, but she also didn’t want to intrude during this sacred time in her marriage with Zechariah. One day she decided to stop feeling conflicted and simply asked Elizabeth her opinion.

“Oh Mary, my dear cousin. You have been away from Joseph long enough, and now you are beginning to show. You need to get to know his children better before your own baby is born. I will be fine. If you wait until the baby is here, it will be harder to leave, harder to lose you. There are women here who can help me. The journey back to Nazareth will not be easy, you best get going before you get too big.  I can’t tell you how wonderful these months have been for me. I love you so very much my dear Mary. I love our Lord more than ever through being with you in these golden months. Go with God my dearest sister, my little mother. Shalom.”

A week later, just as Mary was leaving she felt the first kick from her own baby Jesus saying farewell to His cousin who He wouldn’t see for another thirty years.

Elizabeth walked with Mary to the caravan stop as three huddled village women  peered at her and whispered their critique to each other. “Why had this young pregnant girl left her own home? Why was she leaving when her cousin needed her?” Zechariah trailed behind them carrying Mary’s satchel filled with the baby clothes that they had crocheted and sewn together. Oh so much fun they had. In the months to come, both ladies were able to savor these precious days when they dressed their baby boys in these outfits and fondly thought about and prayed to God for each other. 

After a big heartfelt hug Mary climbed into the coach, sitting beside a big man who was traveling on business. She waved to Zechariah and Elizabeth as they pulled away. Mary then closed her eyes and asked the Lord to bless her cousin’s delivery. 

Not a week went by since Mary left, that the rumblings of Elizabeth’s baby and the pains of birth came. Zechariah rushed over to the midwife’s house and signaled for her to come quickly. The midwife stopped cutting her vegetables and washed her hands in the bucket, grabbed her satchel and rushed over to Zechariah’s who was already back home by then, holding Elizabeth’s hand. It was a blessing because the labor was brief. The prophet John entered the world crying from the shock of cold. Still unable to speak Zechariah joined his infant son weeping. This was the proudest moment of his life. Zechariah had never seen a newborn before and he was in awe. 

Elizabeth was just relieved. She smiled watching her son in her husband’s arms and both of them with red faces and full of tears. “How much the baby resembles his father!” The midwife cleaned up and gave Elizabeth instructions about feeding the baby and then left the family to themselves. 

Some of the neighbors and relatives stood outside the door and waited for the midwife to emerge so they could go in and gawk at the newborn.

On the eighth day Elizabeth and Zechariah went to the local temple to circumcise the child. The friends expected  to name him Zechariah after his father. But his mother said, “No; he is to be called John.” They said to her, “None of your relatives has this name.” 

Then they began motioning to Zechariah as if he couldn’t hear as well as speak, to find out what name he wanted to give him. He asked for a writing tablet and wrote, “His name is John.” And all of them were amazed. 

Immediately his mouth was opened and his tongue freed, and Zechariah spoke for the first time in nine months, praising God. Fear came over all their neighbors, and all these things were talked about throughout the entire hill country of Judea. All who heard them pondered them and said, “What then will this child become, for indeed the hand of the Lord was with him.”

In reply, Zechariah spoke this prophecy:

 “Blessed be the Lord God of Israel, for he has looked favorably on his people and redeemed them. 

He has raised up a mighty savior for us in the house of his servant David, as he spoke through the mouth of his holy prophets from of old, 

that we would be saved from our enemies and from the hand of all who hate us. Thus he has shown the mercy promised to our ancestors, 

and has remembered his holy covenant, the oath that he swore to our ancestor Abraham, to grant us that we, being rescued from the hands of our enemies,

might serve him without fear, in holiness and righteousness before him all our days. 

And you, child, will be called the prophet of the Most High; 

for you will go before the Lord to prepare his ways, to give knowledge of salvation to his people by the forgiveness of their sins. 

By the tender mercy of our God, the dawn from on high will break upon us, to give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, 

to guide our feet into the way of peace.” 

This infant indeed grew and became strong in spirit, and he was in the wilderness until the day he appeared publicly to Israel. 

ALIVE: Chapter 103, The Best Miracle

The parting of the Red Sea was amazing. You should have seen it! The people who had just experienced the angel of death passing over their blood-stained doors saw it. For the most part they were just glad to escape their bedraggled neighbors after all the plagues, and to be running away from fuming Pharaoh. Everyone was a mess psychologically and physically. The earth was like jelly under their feet; their minds were spinning. After all they had been through, walking through the Red Sea was not as scary as it would be for you or me.

Elijah was good too. Beating Baal by igniting-water soaked wood was perhaps the most magnificent gotcha-moment in the history of humankind. 

The most unlikeliest events demonstrate that nature can be manipulated. As predictable and as repetitive as our physical world is, the truth of the matter is, that it was created. The artist is greater than the art. The artist manipulates and manipulates until it is just right, and can go back and change it at any time. 

The artist can do anything except, as much as the artist may want to, the artist cannot enter and live in and among his work. Van Gogh cannot sit inside a swirl in the starry night, Shakespeare can’t have dinner with the shrew; Mozart can’t become a C note, he must always be human. 

The notion of Michelangelo crawling into the finger of God and resting there forever, disappearing from the earth, never to need food or sleep again is preposterous. All the creative imagination in the world can never merge with reality. It’s a law that cannot be broken by the most powerful dictator, or the most sinister criminal. Night cannot become day; they take turns.

We know that. This is the difference between human and God, between this creation and its Maker.

Joseph and the villagers of Nazareth eventually settled into their rhythm of life with Mary in town. His children liked her. They shared meals and laughed together. Her neighbors brought food and gifts to welcome Anna’s daughter home. Joseph and Mary would go for walks after a long day at the workshop, and Mary invited him over for supper from time to time. Deborah, as old as she was, continued to be the best friend, but her daughter Misha was in training for the role. Misha spent many happy hours chatting with Mary. They cooked together and planned the wedding feast, trying recipes. 

Mary enjoyed her new life. She settled right in. Every other early morning, except the Sabbath, she walked down her cobblestone street to the local well to fetch water. Mary’s muscles grew! 

Usually other ladies were also fetching their water and they would chat before carrying their loads home on their heads. On this morning though, Mary arrived so early that no one else was there. She was glad because she planned to cook with Misha and she didn’t have time to talk.

After she pulled the water-bucket up from the deep well, she sat to rest before hoisting it onto her head. While she sat there, the strangest thing happened. 

A large man suddenly appeared. She neither saw, nor heard him approach. When he spoke, she was sure he was an angel. 

He said to her,  “Hail, favored one! The Lord is with you.” 

She gasped! ‘Who is this and what kind of greeting was that?’ she thought but spoke not.

Gabriel paused to give her time to process his appearance. The other angels were busy keeping all the other ladies away from the well. Spilled milk, dirty diapers, whatever they could do, they did. 

Gabriel continued with the most earth shattering announcement ever uttered since God said, “Light Be.” Gabriel was proud to have been given this assignment, knowing that he was qualified by his previous announcements to prophet Daniel, and Tobit. The angel was magnificent, calm, compassionate, careful, just as ordered to be. 

After the initial shock of being visited by an angel, as she never knew anyone, even at the temple all those years, who claimed to see angels, Mary took a deep breath, opened her eyes wide, and waited to hear the message. 

Gabriel continued, “Fear not, Mary, for you have found favor with God. And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you will name him Jesus. He will be great, and will be called the Son of the Most High, and the Lord God will give to him the throne of his father David. He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of his kingdom there will be no end.” There! He said it! Word for word just as he had been rehearsing for ages. 

Mary replied, “How can this be, since I have never known a man?” She didn’t know what else to say. The concept of God being the Father, the real Father, not just fatherly, was unheard of. Gabriel knew it was a silly question, but it was the perfect question from a young lady for whom nature was the only reality.  

Gabriel answered her clearly articulating every word so she could understand, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; therefore the child to be born will be holy; he will be called Son of God.”

Again Mary gasped! Even Mary didn’t know how seriously God accepted her parents’ gift of their child, or that the almighty God heard her own vows.  Especially since Mother and the high priest ignored Anna and Mary’s gift, God didn’t!  Mary was not used to anyone taking her vows and her parents’ vows seriously. This was new. Brand new. 

But Mary had indeed taken her vows seriously deep within her heart, and because of that she listened to the angel and accepted his announcement.

As she looked at Gabriel, two tears spilled out from her bright brown eyes. She felt more herself than she had ever felt before. It was as if she lived her whole life in preparation for this moment. She was no longer frightened. How could that be? But she wasn’t. She was humbled. 

Gabriel had a little more to say, “And behold, your relative Elizabeth in her old age has also conceived a son; and this is the sixth month for her who was said to be barren. For nothing will be impossible with God.” 

Mary was happy to hear about Elizabeth. She knew how long Elizabeth had prayed for a child, perhaps as long as her own mother had prayed for her. “Oh Elizabeth! I must go to visit her.” thought Mary. 

Gabriel looked at her pensive face, awaiting her reply.

Mary broke the prolonged silence and said, “Behold, the servant of the Lord; may it be according to your word.” There was nothing else to say. It was simple and positive, just like Mary.

Gabriel nodded, and bowed to her. The tall angel in the form of a man fell to his knees and placed his hands and head on the ground before her and then vanished.

She was stunned. Mary sat there for a while, and still no one else arrived. She was much too young and innocent to be overwhelmed at that moment. She was just stunned. Perplexed and stunned. 

She wondered how it would happen? 

Mary composed herself. Struggling, she lifted the jug to her head and walked in the stately erect manner needed to balance the heavy jug on the cobblestone streets to her home. Having arrived, she carefully set the jug down not to spill any water and opened her door. She retrieved the heavy jug, brought it inside, set it on the table and gently shut the door behind her. Then she flopped down on mama’s chair and cried and cried. Mary was filled with awe and emotion. The angels around her were also in awe. 

God was about to enter His creation. This had never happened before. God allowed Moses to see his back, but never had the angels considered that He could condescend to become as minuscule as a zygote. Yes, God was in the still small voice, but this was even smaller. God peeled off a milligram of His mighty essence, begotten with the proclamation of Light, to enter nature! The light of the world entered the darkness of a human womb. The artist entered His creation. God became the material image and likeness of Himself. Adam was to be born and given a second chance.

The angels and Mary were both overwhelmed. They cried together. Mary cried herself to sleep on her mother’s chair. 

She awoke to a knock on the door.

“Hey sleepyhead! I have been knocking for a while. Are you well?”

Mary didn’t know what to say, and how much to say to Misha. Nor could she keep the event of the morning all to herself. She was bursting with emotion. It was too much for one person to hold in. 

“So, what are we cooking today?” asked Misha.

“I don’t know, but I got water this morning!” She said, parting with an glimpse of her morning miracle. 

“That’s good. Do you want to make soup?” 

Mary slid back into her former self, as much as was possible and gathered the tools, vegetables, beans and bowls. As the ladies chopped and chatted, Mary said without thinking, “Misha, I think I’m pregnant. I mean, I am pregnant. PLEASE don’t tell anyone.”

“Oh my!!! I promise.” responded Misha aghast at the news. “Do you have a wedding date yet? We need to finalize the menu!”

“Umm, I don’t know yet. We’ll figure it out.” Mary decided to change the subject quickly because she really could not say anything more. She didn’t even know why she mentioned that she was pregnant, but her angels did. They needed to let Joseph know.

“Joseph must be thrilled.” said Misha.

“Joseph!” she had forgotten about Joseph. How could she tell him? What could she tell him? Gabriel gave her no instructions as to what to tell people. She wondered if she could call the angel back and ask.

The rest of the afternoon passed in a haze. Mary went through the motions of cooking with Misha, who fortunately changed the subject many times. Misha had to leave to run an errand before supper. She gave Mary a sisterly peck on the cheek. Just as Deborah would have done to Anna. “Everything will be all right. You will make a fine mother! There is nothing to be nervous about. But you should marry right away.”

On her way Misha passed Joseph’s shop. “What a coincidence,” she thought. She wasn’t planning to visit Joseph, but she might as well pop in since she was there.

“Hello Joseph.”

“Greetings Misha; how are you today?”

“I’m fine. I came in to congratulate you. Mary told me that she is pregnant! I suspect you and Mary will be getting married soon. Well, I must be off! Shalom. I just wanted to tell you how happy I am for you and Mary.” After dropping the bomb, Misha turned and left. 

Joseph was dumbfounded and murmured, “Good bye Misha.”

Joseph had to sit down. Fortunately he was alone that morning, which as all the angels, and now you and I know, was no accident. 

“How could this be?” Joseph knew that he wasn’t the father. “Could it be that I don’t know Mary as well as I thought? Who could the father be? Oh that doesn’t matter, there are so many young bucks in town, it could have been anyone, and Mary is so lovely and so innocent. INNOCENT!

Oh no!!! Perhaps someone violated her and she is too ashamed to say anything!! Oh my poor Mary! Who could have done that? I will kill him! How could I have allowed her to live alone?! This is all my fault. 

But what if it wasn’t an assault? Perhaps now that she is in the world she was attracted to a younger man? After all, she hadn’t even seen young men. Oh yes she had; she would go into Jerusalem. Nevertheless, At this point I can’t even trust her to tell me the truth. It is impossible for me to marry a young lady that I don’t trust. I won’t broadcast this, but I can’t marry her. Let the father of her child marry her, or is he already married? The scoundrel. I will find another town for her to live in and quietly move her there. I don’t want to shame her, but she can’t stay in Nazareth, because I can’t marry her. How could I raise another man’s child?”

Joseph spent the rest of the afternoon fretting. He was glad not to have plans to visit Mary that evening. Instead he went to his home where his daughter had supper ready. Together they waited for his sons who were returning from a trip to the fishing village. 

“Why are you so somber this evening father?” asked James.

“I’ll be fine. I am just tired. In fact, I think I will retire early.”

The sun soon set after supper and the candles were lit. Joseph went to his bed and fell soundly asleep. It was the sleep of a man who had climbed a steep mountain. Poor Joseph. He was just growing comfortable with the idea of marrying this lovely young lady. His children liked her. What excuse could he give them that she was not to be in their lives? They had come to cherish her too. He must decide what to say that would not harm Mary. 

Joseph lifted his heavy worries and took them with him to bed. He even forgot to pray. Like a sick man, his routine was abandoned. Joseph slept fitfully all night. 

Moments before the speck of sun appeared at the precipice of the eastern mountain Joseph was given a vivid dream.

In his dream a large man, like the figure of a statue, like Gabriel appeared before him. He had a voice as deep as a base drum, but as clear as cool fresh air.  The angel came to relieve Joseph of his miserable fantasies.

The angel said slowly and distinctly to allow the message to penetrate into his troubled soul and to be believed, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife for the child conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will bear a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins

All this is taking place to fulfill what had been spoken by the Lord through the prophet Isaiah [7:14].

“Look the virgin shall conceive and bear a Son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel which means, God is with us.” 

After saying that the angel was quiet. He looked into Joseph’s green eyes as if to fix the words in his mind. Joseph did not forget that look until the day he died. 

When Joseph awoke from that fitful night’s sleep, he was shocked at the message, but it was a weirdly probably answer unlike his dark reasons. Joseph reckoned that it was more obvious than ever that the Lord had arranged his marriage to the young lady. Yes, he was not only to protect her as the chief priest wanted him to, he was also to have another son under his care. Suddenly, it all made sense. Not just the happenstance throne order, but she would need a father for her Holy Child. A young man would never do. He would want his own children. A young man would need what Joseph no longer needed. He prayed, “Oh Lord, You are indeed perfect in all Your ways!”

“But wait!” continued Joseph while lying on his bed waiting for the room to become fully lit, a Son from the Holy Spirit! What could that mean? How could that be? What would such a child be like? Joseph trembled at the thought. Such a thought was too great to be contemplated. He would have to wait and see. This was not a time to fantasize. It was a time to get out of bed and go to work. 

After that dream, Joseph stopped fretting about Mary. He went to his shop and added a cradle to his list of projects. He would visit Mary that evening. 

After Misha left, Mary was relieved that she hadn’t pressed her about the pregnancy but simply assumed what she assumed. Mary sat down at her table and enjoyed a bowl of the hearty soup. After the soup, she cleaned up and decided to rest. She was glad that Joseph was not coming over that evening because she had a lot to think about. Mary felt very sleepy, but she didn’t know why. As soon as the sun set, instead of lighting her oil lamp, she went to bed. 

The room was filled with angels debating how much to dull her senses to the miracle. Her guardian angel, having the most authority over her, knowing her from birth said that Mary could handle it. The other angels disagreed. She was too young and it was too fast. To the arguing angels amazement a throne descended from the throne room of God. All the angels were in a dither. Such a visit had never happened on earth before. The throne descended to tell the angels that indeed Mary’s sensitivity to the divinity of her baby needed to be dulled. She was too young to comprehend the magnitude of the miracle. “Give her time. There will be much to experience in her precious life. Let it happen as normally and as gradually as possible.” 

The other angels all were glad for the instructions that abruptly ended their argument. 

Then the throne did something spectacular.

As she got into the bed where her father Joachim had died, exhausted, Mary quickly fell into a deep comforting sleep. The angels hovered around her admiring this graceful young lady moments past her childhood.

To their amazement, the angels witnessed the throne spinning like a top, faster and faster until a thread of light shot out, like lightening, but not so fast. The light became a golden luminous thread. The angels stared in awe. The golden thread then became like a lasso. It spun around and around until it became a ball. The ball spun towards sleeping Mary very fast and as it spun it became smaller and smaller, but brighter and brighter.

A cloud slowly emerged to envelope sleeping Mary. It was like a puffy cumulus cloud, like cotton candy but airy. It was opaque so nothing could be seen inside of it. God did not want the angels to see the holy sacred conception and so he covered her with His spirit of love. The angels could not penetrate the cloud. By the time it reached the cloud covering, the golden luminous ball had become as small as a seed, as small as a mustard seed, but brighter than the summer sun. During all that, Mary was in a deep dreamless sleep on her parent’s bed, the same bed where Joachim passed from earth to Hades.

Mary conceived without any physical feeling at all. As when bread and wine become the Body and Blood of the Son of God in the Eucharist; which is a miracle without fanfare, without trumpets blaring, without fireworks and orchestras as would be appropriate, so did the seed of God find Mary’s egg, the pearl, with a quiet kiss they became One.

The throne emerged from the cloud and appeared to the angels again. The angels bowed before him with deep and respectful bows as before a benevolent monarch. The throne bid the angels farewell and ascended through Anna’s home into the air to return to the almighty God with the announcement of the mission accomplished and to join the celebration there.

The angels watched the cloud gradually dissipate until they saw Mary hugging her pillow laying on her side. Her face looked radiant; she looked as soft and peaceful as a sleeping baby. 

The angels stood guard for the rest of the evening and the night. There was not a demon for miles and miles around. No demon dared to come near, their weakness betrayed their mischievous hatred. Even the air smelled better and cleaner for the lack of decay. The angels noticed the unique absence of corruption, but didn’t bother to remark about it to each other. Each angel simply enjoyed the evening on earth watching over the new mother of God. 

Mary awoke at dawn as usual, feeling healthy and well-rested. She was not even concerned about Joseph. She bathed with the remnant of the water she had fetched the day before, and then made her bed, started a little fire and cooked an egg for herself. Then she sat in her mother’s chair and prayed.

From that moment on Mary was a new person. It was not only the babe come into the world, but God alive in her. Eve was created in God’s image and likeness, similarly divinity entered Mary’s mortal frame. Volumes could be written about the comparison between new Eve and Mary. That morning Mary sensed that she belonged to God, more than she ever belonged to Joachim and Anna, or to Mother or the high priest or the temple. Much more than she could ever belong to Joseph or to Nazareth. She belonged to her Baby Boy. From that moment He was at the center of her universe, as bright and life-giving as the sun. 

Mary decided to go for a hike that day. She packed a little bag and walked to the mountain that her father enjoyed hiking up. It was difficult and some times she huffed and puffed through the climb, but she was young and strong. She enjoyed the challenge as she anticipated the view from the top. From time to time she sat and looked down on Nazareth, away from the world. At one point she passed a Shepard with his goats. They greeted each other in passing, reveling in their shared enjoyment of the spectacular view. Mary told herself that she wanted to do this often. She could understand how the mountain could have been a refuge for her father. It was a good day. 

Joseph wasn’t sure of how to approach Mary. Nothing like this had ever happened before! Nowhere in the scripture, but wait, yes! Joseph was enough of a scholar of the Torah to have read the prophet Isaiah. “And a Virgin shall conceive a child...” could this be it?! Oh my! Glory to God!” These thoughts overwhelmed Joseph. Joseph was anxious to get back to the Torah and reread Isaiah.

After work, Joseph cleaned himself up and walked over to Mary’s house. He was very nervous, wondering how to speak to her. “Did she know that Misha told him? Why hadn’t she come by the workshop to tell him? How did it happen, and when?”

They hadn’t made plans, but Mary knew instinctively that it was Joseph knocking at her door. 

Mary was nervous too. “How would she tell him what happened the day before at the well?” She opened the door, and Mary and Joseph looked into each other’s eyes. There was so much to tell each other, neither of them knew about the other’s angelic visitations.

“Come in. I’m so glad to see you. Misha and I made a big pot of soup yesterday. Would you like some?”

“Yes, I know. Sure, I’d love some of your soup.”

“How do you know?”

“After she left here, Misha stopped by my shop, and congratulated me on your pregnancy.”

Mary gasped. She didn’t know whether to be angry at Misha or relieved because she didn’t have to break the news. Mary studied Joseph’s face for his reaction. He walked inside and Mary shut the door behind him. She couldn’t face him. 

“Mary, I admit that I was upset when I heard this. But the strangest thing happened. Last night in my sleep, an angel came to me and assured me that your child was...” Joseph could not say it. The notion of an immaculate conception was unspeakable “Tell me, how did this happen? What happened?”

“Please Joseph, come in and sit down. Let me get supper on the  table and then I will tell you.” Mary needed the time to reorganize her explanation now that he already knew she was pregnant. 

Joseph first placed more wood in the fireplace, then he sat at the table and waited while Mary scurried around warming the soup and getting her rusks and olives.

When they were seated and their supper was before them, Joseph said the blessing and started to eat. He didn’t want to force or rush Mary. On this visit, he saw her differently. She was not the young orphan he had met at the temple, but rather ...he couldn’t even think it. What does it mean to be the pregnant mother-to-be of the Son of God? This lady, so young and lovely. Joseph was the first man to know of the miracle, and to recognize how God had chosen Mary above all women to bear His Son. 

Mary told Joseph about the visitation of the angel at the well and about how she came home and cried and fell asleep and that Misha woke her up. She told Joseph that she hadn’t plan to tell Misha, but that the words spilled from her mouth and how she changed the subject right away, which left Misha to make her own assumptions. As for how it happened, Mary didn’t know. She just believed.

As Mary and Joseph spoke that evening, together they saw the finger of God on their entire lives, both of their lives. They realized why she was an only child of elderly parents, why she lived at the temple, and for Joseph, why his wife had passed so young, and all the years without a wife, and how perfect it was for an older man such as he to be the guardian of this gem, and of her Divine Son. 

“Joseph, I think you were chosen too.” said Mary quietly and peacefully.

That evening Mary and Joseph wept together. They had never been so close. Jospeh said they needed to marry as soon as possible. Mary agreed. She asked if they could live at her home. No. But they would keep it open so she could return whenever she wanted time to herself. His children loved her and they wanted  a new mother too. They were growing fast, but they were still at home. 

“Oh! Right!” Mary never thought about becoming a mother so soon. Then she thought of Mother, and how she had admired her mothering of all the girls, none of them her very own, and how she wanted to be like her. And here she was, becoming the mother of these children, another mother’s children, just as she prayed for, but boys! Yes, that was perfect too. Mary admitted that she had to learn how to mother a boy, and how perfect that too was, that she could practice before her own baby boy was born. 

That night Joseph could not leave her, so he slept with her for the first time. Joseph held her closely in his arms all night long. She felt so loved and so protected and comfortable. Mary thanked and glorified God as she fell asleep, as cozy as was the holy infant in her womb. 

The wedding was celebrated by the whole village. Everyone was welcome as they all had lived through Joseph’s loss and child rearing, and for Mary because of their admiration of Joachim and Anna. This wedding was like all village weddings, except for the lack of parents for both the bride and groom.

Misha and Mary had been cooking all week without a break. Joseph and his friends brought vats of wine, and the villagers brought more food and money as gifts for the happy couple. It was a regular Jewish celebration. No one knew about the baby, even Deborah, because Misha kept her promise after congratulating Joseph. Everyone danced well into the night. Joy pervaded Nazareth. 

As the following weeks passed Mary had none of the ordinary  symptoms of pregnancy. Secretly each wondered if it was really true. Mary settled into Joseph’s busy home with the grown children, but would return to her home from time to time for peacefulness and prayer. Otherwise their lives returned to the rhythm of mealtimes, work times and sleep times, except for the underlying anticipation of the pregnancy which was bound to show itself eventually. It was as if they both lived on two planes simultaneously, the mundane and the miraculous.

Even as the holy baby in her womb grew, Mary’s spirit, her humility, her devotion to the Lord grew. The divine cells inside her multiplied and transferred into her system. The blood she gave her Baby combined with the holy DNA that He imparted to her. The Holy Child did not just grown in her womb as a molecule in a test tube, but traveled through her body and changed her. She gave God her womb and He gave her holiness.*

———

*Within weeks of conception, cells from both mother and fetus traffic back and forth across the placenta, resulting in one becoming a part of the other. During pregnancy, as much as 10 per cent of the free-floating DNA in the mother’s bloodstream comes from the fetus, and while these numbers drop precipitously after birth, some cells remain. Children, in turn, carry a population of cells acquired from their mothers that can persist well into adulthood, and in the case of females might inform the health of their own offspring. And the fetus need not come to full term to leave its lasting imprint on the mother: a woman who had a miscarriage or terminated a pregnancy will still harbor fontal cells. With each successive conception, the mother’s reservoir of foreign material grows deeper and more complex, with further opportunities to transfer cells from older siblings to younger children, or even across multiple generations.

Far from drifting at random, human and animal studies have found fontal origin cells in the mother’s bloodstream, skin and all major organs, even showing up as part of the beating heart. This passage means that women carry at least three unique cell populations in their bodies – their own, their mother’s, and their child’s – creating what biologists term a micro-chimera, named for the Greek fire-breathing monster with the head of a lion, the body of a goat, and the tail of a serpent

Katherine Rowland is a journalist. Her work has appeared in Nature, the Financial Times, the Independent, and OnEarth, among other publications. She is the publisher and director of Guernica magazine, and lives in New York City. 

Aeon magazine.

ALIVE: Chapter 102, The Graduation

It was still very dark when Mary awoke the next morning. She had no sense of how soon the sun would rise, and she didn’t care. All she wanted to do was to go back into her dream and stay there. She grasped for the reason it made her feel so joyful. Her father. Yes, Joachim was there; she saw him and he was very happy. Happy with her. She wasn’t at all sleepy, but she wanted to go back there in her mind. Try as hard as she might, she couldn’t. It was gone. 

As it was too dark to get out of bed and too cold, she lay there thinking. Thinking about the man, and her future. “Lord, please guide me. My thoughts. I love you so much, and I want to serve you. Tell me, what can I do for you my King and my God? I am just one girl, and now I must leave my blessed Jerusalem, the City of David, my forefather, my temple, and go to that village far away, go into the hostile world. No, I mustn’t think that way. Remember, ‘Where can I flee from your presence? If I ascend into heaven, you are there; if I make my bed in Sheol, you are there. If I take the wings of the morning and settle at the farthest limits of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me...’ Surely you are in Nazareth.” She smiled at her own silliness. Then she rolled over on her side and pulled the blanket over her shoulders and fell gently into sleep again. 

By the time the morning light and the chatter of the other girls woke her up, Mary had evolved. She no longer dreaded a new life. She didn’t know that the Lord had answered her prayer to guide her thoughts, but He did. 

She wanted to tell Mother, however, her schedule whisked her to breakfast, then class. When the girls went to the Holy Temple for morning worship, she noticed a handsome older man in the shadows. He was praying silently with his eyes closed. She had never seen him before and she wondered who he was. She knew everyone at the Temple. 

After the service, Mary decided to approach the high priest instead with her newly born acquiescence. She peeled off from the other girls going to class, and found the priest. 

“Mary! How nice to see you.” said the chief priest wondering why she approached him, but sensing that she wasn’t angry with him.

“Your grace, I am prepared to accept your will, and Mother’s for my future.” 

“I am pleased to hear that Mary. You know we only want what is best for you my dear.” 

Mary nodded her head gently. She was much too innocent and ignorant of the pressures of the world to understand what hazards he was trying to protect her from. 

“Mary, let’s walk over to his workshop now. Perhaps a casual first meeting will be a comfortable introduction for you.”

“Oh my!” she thought, not sure she was quite ready for reality to meet her fantasy. 

“Follow me.” As they walked, Mary was reminded of the last time they walked to her father’s tomb together to lay him to rest. The thought saddened her and frightened her a bit.

By the time the priest and Mary reached Joseph’s shack, he too had returned from the prayer service and was setting up for his day’s work. 

“Knock knock. May we come in?” hollered the priest.

Joseph looked up and was alarmed to see the girl he had seen crying on the bench. “Please come in.”

“Joseph, I want to introduce you to Mary. Mary this is Joseph. Come see the fine work he does. He is quite a talented man, and now that he has made my throne, his name will be great among all carpenters.”

Joseph bowed his head, not at all pleased by the compliments. He looked up and his eyes caught hers before she could lower her head. This surprised Mary who immediately recognized how much more confident and mature he was than she.

Her angel guided her to extend her hand to the man. “Pleased to meet you sir.”

“You may call me Joseph. Let me show you the throne.”

The priest chimed in, “Yes, it is stunning! I am so pleased.

Mary followed Joseph to his masterpiece. She stroked it as if it were a puppy and smiled. It felt so smooth in her hands. She looked closely and admired the intricate carving. How creative. This young sheltered woman (we must be careful not to call her a girl any longer, for almost over night she evolved into a young woman) was impressed by the skill of her soon-to-be betrothed. Mary turned to the priest and said, “You will have to excuse me your grace, they will be wondering where I’ve gone. It was good to meet you sir.”

“Joseph. Please call me Joseph.”

“Joseph. Your work is beautiful.” Mary was shy and a little overwhelmed in the workshop and with the stranger with whom she would share the rest of her life. She needed to retreat quickly to her classmates and familiar surroundings. 

“Thank you.” replied Joseph whose compassion (and angel)  attracted him to this meek and lovely young lady.

The priest interjected, “I will stay for a few more minutes. Yes Mary, you should go. Have a good day.”

Without saying another word, Mary exited the shack feeling an odd combination of discomfort and elation; a brew of old and new. In the shack she had entered a strange new world, a world of craftsmanship, and the craftsman. 

The priest let her go without making any plan for a second visit. He would let Mother take it from there. 

Once Mary was gone the priest looked over at Joseph who went back to his work burnishing the wood. “Well. Will you marry her?”

“Your grace!” replied Joseph trying, but failing to force an intonation of respect, “I just met her. What you are asking is for me to amend my life, and my children’s lives for the sake of an orphan girl.”

The priest corrected Joseph by saying, “A young lady.”

“Okay, young lady. With all due respect your grace.”

“I apologize. Yes yes, you need time to think and get to know her better. She is a charming person. Let me arrange a supper, just the four of us, the reverend Mother, you and Mary, and me. Perhaps on Shabbat, next week. I want your decision before you return to Nazareth and I see that my throne is almost complete. If you will do this thing, it would be a mitzvah, and I am confident that the Lord will bless you.”

“Yes, yes. I’m sure the Lord will bless me.” repeated Joseph who was already satisfied with his many blessings. He had kind and obedient children, a good vocation, and his health. He felt half his age. “Fine, arrange the dinner. I must be getting back to work now. Thank you for stopping by your grace.” 

The priest nodded and left Joseph with his thoughts and his chair.

...

Later in the afternoon Mother was glad to hear from the priest that Mary met Joseph, and that Joseph seemed to like her very much. The priest exaggerated the truth. Then the priest told her to plan the dinner for the following Shabbat. “Let’s have fish.” 

...

After supper Mary wanted to be alone to think. As she approached the rose garden, she noticed how many more blossoms there were since the last time she was there! She had never seen it look so beautiful. Deep reds, and blushing pinks and pastel yellow roses all in full bloom! She had never, in all her years seen so breathtaking a garden. The fragrance was as intense as incense!

When she reached the fountain, to her surprise she spotted Joseph sitting on a bench, not hers, deep in thought. He hadn’t even noticed Mary approaching. He was leaning back facing up with eyes closed. He did look handsome for an older man, Mary admitted to herself. 

She didn’t know if she should go sit down on her favorite bench alone, or if she should say something to him, or if she should just go back to her dormitory room. She decided to leave him to his thoughts and sit down, although it was going to be nearly impossible to think and pray about him while the man was sitting so near. 

She sneezed, which startled Joseph who opened his eyes and noticed her. 

“Greetings.” said Mary. “Sorry to startle you. I just came here to think; I guess you did too.”

Glad to see her, he said, “Hello. May I sit with you?”

“Of course. Come.” said Mary and scooted over to give him plenty of room.

Joseph sat down at a respectable distance. Searching for a way to start a conversation he said, “I knew your father. When I was a boy, I worked for him in the fields.”

“You did!?!” exclaimed Mary. That made such a big impression on her. Imagine that this man knew her father before she was born. She said, “I am sorry that they are forcing me on you. This wasn’t my idea. I am happy to be single and stay here and worship the Lord, but they insist that I go back to Nazareth. I have my parents’ home there.”

“Yes, I know.” replied Joseph, “It is closed up, ever since your mother moved to Jerusalem. I am so sorry to hear she passed away. We didn’t know that. When did it happen?”

“Just about a year ago. It was so sudden. It was a terrible shock. But I am blessed that she lived in Jerusalem after papa died. I cherish those last years with mama.”

“I attended your father’s funeral, and sat shiva with your mother. The entire town was there. I don’t think a single person stayed away. He was a beloved man.” 

Mary was surprised and warmed by that; the stranger was gradually becoming familiar through her parents of all things. It was as if Joseph took Joachim’s old invisible hand and hers to link her parents and himself with Mary. She feared talking too much about herself, so she said, “Tell me about your children. How sad that you lost your wife. That must have been very hard.” 

“My wife died many many years ago in childbirth. So long ago that the sadness and pain have subsided. I had to raise the children myself, and of course the villagers helped me, and my parents helped too until they passed away. First my mother, who had been the biggest help, and then my father. But by then the children were able to care for themselves.”

“So sorry.” said Mary realizing how complex life in the world must be compared to her simple life.

“Don’t be, I have a good family and  a good profession. I love my work. I love working with my hands and making things that will outlive me. When I see my work, I know what I did with my life.”

“That must be wonderful.” said Mary.

“What has it been like to live in the temple?” asked Joseph. 

“Oh it’s so peaceful. I love the Lord God with all my soul. I would be happy to live out my days here.”

“Oh how can you say that, you are so young? You have so many different experiences to look forward to.” replied Joseph.

“But I want to serve the Lord. I belong to Him.” 

“You can serve the Lord away from the temple. I think I serve the Lord by making furniture.”

“How so?”

“I use the hands and mind that reflect His image, the talents that He gave me from His infinite well of creativity. I do it to the best of my ability. When I see a flaw, I never let it go. I seek perfection, just as He made perfection in everything He created, particularly in humankind.”

“That’s beautiful. I have the house and my father’s flocks. I have a house here in Jerusalem too that was my mother’s. I have a dowry.” said Mary, as an effort to show value for her simple self.

“Oh my dear, I don’t care about that. What’s yours is yours.

“I know they want me to marry you, and I want to obey because God wants me to. Mother and the priest are like my mother and father, and I told the Lord that I will honor them with the respect and obedience that their positions require.”

Joseph replied, “Something tells me that it wasn’t they, but the Lord God who is bringing us together. It is He we should obey!” said Joseph surprised to hear himself say that, and through the words that spilled out of his mouth agreeing to the match. 

“I think you are right, Joseph.” Mary was surprised at herself calling him by his name for the first time. “It’s uncanny that you are from Nazareth and knew my papa, and came here, just when I needed to graduate. God is perfect!”

Joseph stood up and then got down on one knee and added, “Well, I guess we will do this. Mary, will you marry me?”

Mary blushed and a tear spilled from her eye, “I promise I won’t be any trouble to you at all. Yes. I will...Joseph, marry you.”

Joseph stood up, and sat back down on the bench and said, “You are too young to say you won’t be any trouble. You don’t know that, but I will take good care of you as they want me to, and as the Lord, obviously wants me to.”

With that, Mary extended her hand to him. Joseph stood up, and so did Mary and they hugged the hug of a soon to be betrothed couple. The hug lasted as Mary and Joseph each tried to feel the personhood of the other. They both sensed the harmony before releasing each other. 

“I must get back now. They will wonder where I’ve been.”

“Good night my dear. Let me walk you to your dormitory.” And so he did.

When they reached the dormitory most of the girls were fast asleep. Mary quickly changed into her nightgown and crawled under the blanket, and she thought about how kind and tender Joseph was until her thoughts turned into sweet dreams. 

...

By the dinner Mother had arranged, their betrothal was a foregone conclusion of the nagging problem and the subsequent suspense. It was time to discuss logistics. Joseph was wrapping up his work in Jerusalem, and needed to return to Nazareth. He would come back for her graduation and escort her to Nazareth. 

Mary asked that she be allowed to stay alone for a while in her family home. Mother and the chief priest acknowledged that once she is betrothed and graduates, they no longer have authority over her, but that they thought it was fine for her to live alone for a while, while the town, and his children grew accustomed to her presence (and while the couple waited for the gossip to die down.) 

Joseph said that he was in no hurry for the wedding and agreed that she needed time in her parents’ home alone. Mary was relieved that Joseph was so permissive with her. 

They scheduled the betrothal ceremony for the following week. There was so much to be done in such a short time,  the lunch to follow, and her dress to make! 

...

Because Mary was an orphan, and even her aunts and cousins in Bethlehem were far away, the betrothal lunch was at the school. It was a lovely affair. All of her classmates and especially Mother were very happy for Mary. It was good that she would have a new family, even though some of the teachers wondered how she could be a mother to children who were close to her own age. Mary and Joseph liked each other and that was all that mattered. The angels saw to that! But then again it was easy, for each soul was humble and Joseph was a righteous man. 

The following day Joseph left for Nazareth, leaving his throne, and his betrothed behind in Jerusalem. The high priest was sorry to see him leave. He enjoyed Joseph’s company. Every time he sat on his throne, he was glad to be reminded of this good man who solved his problem. May God be good to him.

Mary was less sorry to see him leave because she was glad  to retreat into her old life a little longer. She wanted to cherish her last months at school, and her classmates, and of course her beloved Mother, and even the high priest who changed her life so dramatically. Cherish she did. Every day was a gift. Even her chanting and her worshipping took on new gusto. 

She was now old enough to be allowed to go into Jerusalem with her friends to go shopping. Since her mother passed, Mary rented her home and received the income which was helpful. She visited her parents’ tomb regularly to feel their physical presence and to pray that the Lord would give them refreshment in Hades.  And she visited her mother’s garden near Gethsemane. With some of the rent money, she hired a gardener to tend it. The man who helped her mother buy her home had become the manager. He collected the rent and paid the gardener, and maintained the house, took his payment and sent Mary the rest. He did this until the day he died. After that, his son became the manager. 

Mary knew that she would miss these visits to the tomb and Gethsemane when she was so far away in Nazareth, but then again, she would come back during Passover. Jerusalem wasn’t going to disappear she told herself with a smile. Perhaps some day she would live there again, in her mother’s home. Who knew what life had in store for her? 

...

The months passed quickly, too quickly for Mary who vacillated between a state of nostalgia for her love of the temple and optimistic curiosity about her new life in the world with a kind and handsome man and his children, and life in the village. One foot in the old sacred world while the other reached for the morrow. 

The day came for Mary to meet Joseph’s arriving caravan. She brought him a small bouquet of fragrant multicolored  roses. He smiled upon seeing her, received her symbolic gift, and gave her a hug. She told him that she had prepared his shack to stay in. He was pleased with that. After dropping off his satchel Mary and Joseph sat in their rose garden to catch up with the goings on at the temple and graduation events, and the goings on in Nazareth with his business and his children who were pleased for their father and looked forward to meeting Mary. 

Mary had attended many graduations before, one for each of the eleven years she lived at the temple. She had seen girls come and go. She felt like a bird being pushed out of its nest. She knew the bird needed to be pushed out or it would never learn to fly. God made birds to fly, not to sit and wait for food to come. These thoughts strengthened her; they shamed her out of her nostalgia.

To say good bye to Mother, Mary had to go through the motions of the hug and farewell as if it didn’t sadden her. When she lost her father and her mother there were no good byes, there was no choice. They simply disappeared; they left her. She had never been the one to leave. The day she said goodbye to Mother was the day she realized for the first time, how difficult it must have been for her parents to leave her. How difficult and how brave her mama was, how self sacrificing her mama was every time she said goodbye. Love is strange, it hugs and it pushes away. Oh Lord!

She climbed into the carriage that Joseph built that started the celestial ball rolling, and waved to the girls who had come to see her off. She would be back at Passover, she shouted cheerfully.

...

In Nazareth, Joseph carried Mary’s bags into her family home, which he and his children had opened and prepared for her arrival. It was clean and cozy, just as Anna had left it. Even though she had no memory of the place, she sensed her parents there and instantly felt comfortable. Her mother and father had left traces of themselves throughout the home. It made her happy as if they were there to welcome her. 

Life in the world will be peaceful and nice she thought to herself. She can sew, and pray, and learn to cook. Yes, Mary thought to herself while in her nest how peaceful her life will be. She thought too how much she will enjoy living alone for a while.

Mary was in no hurry to marry, but the wedding and the marriage gave her something to look forward to. She had no aspirations other than to be a good mother to his fairly grown children. She decided that her service to Joseph and his family was as serving the Lord. She thought of how Mother managed to be such a good mother to so many girls. She had learned handiwork at school and could sew for them, but she needed to learn to cook better.

She only regretted having not told Joseph about her vow to remain a Virgin, but the opportunity never presented itself. That was a problem. How does one say something like that to one’s betrothed? Besides, she was too modest to even mention the subject.  She could not in any way betray her commitment to God for she was truly his handmaiden and would always be. Maybe Joseph won’t care. 

ALIVE: Chapter 101, Joseph’s Throne

After the death of Anna, the whole world seemed different for Mary, not just because her mother was gone, oh that contributed to it, but Mary evolved from being a daughter, the growing child of Joachim and Anna to becoming a young lady in her own rite. It was the time to plan for graduation without her mother’s loving counsel or her companionship. She had decided her future, the course her life was to take all on her own, or so she thought. 

As we know, and the chief priest overheard, Mary vowed to remain a Virgin dedicated to the Lord. Why was there a question about that? Her parents, especially her mother, had indeed dedicated her to The Lord as an infant. Why should it be any different now that she was grown? Did anyone think the Lord would give her back to the world? She had been the Lord’s from birth. However, neither the Temple nor the school took seriously Anna’s giving of Mary to the Lord, and Mary’s own vow. They were more concerned with the pragmatics of how Mary could live in the world as an orphan. God wanted it that way. 

The high priest met with Mother regularly. They discussed the spiritual progress of all the girls and they discussed the pragmatics of running the school, the teachers, the support staff, the food, money, and building maintenance. Some things never change. 

Mother started the meeting with the high priest on this day by saying, “These are the girls who are turning 14 soon and will need to leave.  They are all betrothed, either by their parents or by us, except Mary daughter of Joachim and Anna. I don’t know what to do with her. She insists on remaining a Virgin but she has no family to go back to in Nazareth. But to Nazareth she should go, since she now owns her family’s home there. I have no role for her here, and there are no extra beds. What shall we do?” asked Mother.

The high priest replied, “This is complicated. I must confess that I overheard her make a vow to the Lord in the temple to remain a Virgin. How can we force her to marry after knowing this? But without parents, how can we release her to the world all alone with no profession, and no guardian?

Mother replied, “Your grace, we go around and around and we end up in the same place with this issue. Okay, that’s all the business I have to discuss for today. I must be going back to class. Can we meet again next week at the same time?”

“Yes yes yes.” replied the high priest deep in thought as he walked out of the room without saying goodbye.

Mother followed him out and managed to appear in class just as it was breaking up. 

As the high priest walked back to his home for lunch he continued to contemplate the issue of Mary, daughter of Joachim, without resolution, but it wasn’t long before the details of this child’s future dissolved among other worrisome thoughts about the Romans and their occupation which was becoming increasingly oppressive. King Herod was an evil man, how did the Lord allow him to rule over His people Israel? Their laws often conflicted with the Torah. Then there were the pagan Greeks who occupied towns around Palestine, with their many gods and absurd belief system.Their influence was dangerous to Israel. They must keep the Greeks away. 

By the time the priest arrived at his home, he was glad to be rid of his mental ramblings and sat down to the delicious meal that his wife had prepared. 

“Remember dear that tomorrow you go to Jericho. I have packed your satchel.”

“Oh yes, thank you, I had forgotten. I have arranged for a coach. I am too old to get on those camels.”

“Good for you. Yes. I will pack your food tonight. You leave right after sunrise.” 

On the coach were two other men, a Roman centurion and a  lawyer. The three men struck up a conversation that soon moved beyond the weather to carpentry. The lawyer was admiring the construction of the wooden coach they were riding in. The High Priest found the conversation interesting because he wanted a new throne chair. “I must remember to ask the driver who built his coach. It is obviously well designed and well made.”

The journey to Jericho was bumpy and dusty; the travelers tried hard to be comforted by knowing how much worse it is to be on the camel. 

Finally, the passengers were relieved to have arrived at Jericho. As they collected their luggage, the centurion reminded the priest to ask about the builder of the coach. 

“Oh yes! Thank you.” He waited for the luggage to be distributed and then said to the driver, “We were admiring your coach. It looks new, tell me, who built it for you?”

The driver replied, “There is a fine carpenter in Nazareth by the name of Joseph. He is very skillful, I think he is the best in all of Palestine. Thank you. I must be going now. Farewell.”

“Thank you.” replied the priest while trying to fix the name in his mind. He thought of the tribe of Joseph, savior of Israel. “Yes, that will do it. Joseph, the favorite son, is my favorite carpenter. How can I forget that?”

The priest proceeded to conduct his business in Jericho, but throughout the day he couldn’t resist a growing desire to meet the builder of the coach. He had visions of a beautiful throne made of the finest olive trees with intricate carvings. A chair he could sit in all day, or even fall asleep in! Nazareth was so far north, how could he ever make contact with the carpenter Joseph?

On his way back to Jerusalem the priest remembered to ask the driver, when they arrived, to get a message to the carpenter Joseph of Nazareth via the driver-pipeline. 

He said, “Tell the carpenter that he is being summoned to Jerusalem by the High Priest who wants to commission him to make a throne.”

“Yes sir,” said the driver, “I will do what I can. I know a driver going to Nazareth today. What an honor it would be for a simple carpenter. I know who to tell.” 

The high priest gave the man a few shekels tip in appreciation for his service, and a few more for the driver. The rabbi knew that the tip would further obligate him to fulfill the request. 

Months went by in which the daily tasks of the temple were performed with precise uniformity. The repetition of it was boring  to the high priest who craved something different, no matter how small, he simply wanted to see a different face, or even to have an unusual problem. Sun and moon, day and night,  breakfast, lunch and dinner over and over again. One day, when the high priest least expected it the carpenter Joseph arrived at the temple!

“Bring him in! Bring him right in immediately!” cried the priest. 

A meek and very handsome older man entered the room, he had shocks of long wavy gray hair mingled with light brown locks, and a set of sparkling brown eyes flanked by wrinkles that made him look wise and experienced. He bowed respectfully and said, “Shalom.”

“Shalom, enter!” said the high priest trying to contain his joy in a dignified manner. To his servants he said, “Bring the carpenter some fresh figs right away, and then bring supper. Are you thirsty? You must be after such a long journey.”

“Thank you.” said Joseph who indeed was hungry and thirsty as he had come from the two-day caravan ride directly to the temple and that morning had already finished eating the food his daughter made him.

The high priest was not in a hurry to get to the point of the visit, but rather wanted to get to know the artisan of his throne. “Tell me about yourself.” said the priest. 

“Rabbi, I am a widower. My beloved wife died in childbirth with our last child. But that was over a decade ago. I thank the Lord for my sons and daughter and for my work. There is nothing more to say. I pay my tithes. I obey the law. My life is good, and it is peaceful. May God be blessed.” 

The priest nodded. He liked the simple man who appeared to be refreshingly carefree and about his own age. How different their two lives were. How simple and carefree he seemed. He looked forward to working with this man. 

Eventually the priest drove the conversation to the purpose of the visit. They discussed the type of wood and design criteria, the ornateness of it and the comfort of it. Joseph waxed enthusiastic when discussing his work as he was passionate about wood. He had devoted his life to carpentry from his youth where he learned it at his father’s feet. 

Then the high priest dared to ask. “Would you be willing to build the throne here? The priest wanted Joseph around for many reasons; he genuinely liked the man and wanted his company, also because he wanted to participate in the phases of building the chair to be available to review the progress and to make decisions along the way.

Joseph had never been asked to work off-site before, but he knew that for a commission of this importance, he didn’t see how he could refuse. “Well, I must return to Nazareth for my tools, but I suppose so. I mean yes, I can your grace.”

Several weeks passed during which Joseph returned to Nazareth and informed his children of his imminent extended absence. They were proud of their father for being selected for such an important commission. James told his father not to be concerned for he would take care of the local customers. Joseph looked at his young son, no more than 12 and hoped he could handle the responsibility. His daughter washed and packed his other tunic and work aprons while he packed up his tools. He couldn’t say how long he would be gone, the average chair only takes a week, but something this ornate could take a month. 

Jospeh visited his friends to inform them of his absence and to ask them to watch over his children. They too were glad for him and assured him that he would find everything just as he left it, all the while knowing how much more meticulous Joseph was than they. 

Back at the temple in Jerusalem Joseph settled into his new makeshift shop in a vacant shack near the kitchen house. He enjoyed being so near the gardens. He could breathe in the fragrance of the flowers and herbs while working. The high priest visited him often, which Joseph didn’t mind, although the visits prolonged his time away from home. 

Two more meetings with mother passed before it occurred to the high priest that he had found a solution to the problem of Mary. ‘Joseph!’ Surely a man of his age would not need or want more children. Perhaps her quest for chastity could be respected. Oh, but that was not his concern, thought the priest to himself, he only needed to make sure she was taken care of. 

The high priest was not at all aware that these thoughts were being transmitted via the angel of the Lord. 

The priest had grown fond of Joseph during the last few weeks. The chair was so fine, the most beautiful that he had ever seen, but to keep him as long as possible, the priest found repair projects to add to Joseph’s labors. Humble Joseph, admitted to himself that despite being away from his responsibilities in Nazareth, he enjoyed his days in Jerusalem. For Joseph, his work here was an experience he would treasure for the rest of his life. 

On a particularly bright morning while Joseph was working on the carvings, the high priest poked his head in the doorway and said, “Joseph, let’s go for a walk together. I have something to discuss with you.” 

“Of course your grace.” replied Joseph, who set down his tool,  and wiped  his hands on his carpenter’s apron before removing it and setting it down.”

Joseph followed the priest to the same rose garden around the fountain where Joachim, Anna, and Mary once spent their most precious moments together. On the way, the two men  stopped by the kitchen building to pick up the lunch the priest had ordered. 

After the men had performed their ceremonial hand washing and prayed together, they sat on the same holy bench of memories where Joachim had sat years before. The stories this bench could tell. This humble bench rich with hidden honors.

“Joseph, I have an important request that I ask you to consider. Over the last few weeks I have come to know you and I respect you. You are obviously a skillful carpenter, but more than that you are a good man.”

Joseph listened intently, curious of what more the priest could want from him beyond all the repairs and throne. Could he want more chairs? A bed frame? Joseph quickly assumed such a request and instantly thought that he shouldn’t stay in Jerusalem indefinitely. 

The priest’s spiel took a sharp and shocking turn when he introduced the point of it. “We have a lovely young lady, an orphan without siblings who is about to graduate from here. She has been here from the age of three when her parents dedicated her to the Lord. 

The priest wasn’t sure he should mention that Mary had vowed to the Lord that she would remain a Virgin, and decided to mention that at another time. Instead he said, “She has a home, in Nazareth, in fact you may have known her father Joachim.

Indeed Joseph knew exactly who the priest was referring to as he had admired Joachim and worked for him as a youth. Joseph heard that they had a daughter, but he never met her. He still wondered what all this had to do with him.

“We want her to be betrothed to a good man,” then the priest peered into Joseph’s eyes, startling the man, “who will watch over and care for her. You.”

The priest did not need to be more specific. Joseph was aghast at the request, so personal and so surprising. He took another bite of his falafel which while chewing gave him time to compose a gracious rejection. 

“You know I have grown children, perhaps of the same age. How would such a marriage affect them? I must consider this carefully.”

“Yes, I know you have children; you have mentioned them, but someday they too will have families of their own and who will care for you? Do you want to be tossed from home to home like a hot falafel?”

Joseph thought that was a harsh, but not implausible scenario, and took another bite.

At this point the high priest decided to join Joseph in the enjoyment of his lunch and took a large bite of his own falafel. 

The men chewed in silence. The whirring of each man’s mind was nearly audible. Birds and butterflies flew around them. Flies and bees buzzed near their heads. The vibrations of it all could have propelled a small plane off the ground, especially considering the dense invisible angelic activity. For the angels who lived outside of natural time knew how significant this conversation was and flocked to the scene  in droves to witness this moment which had as much significance for heaven as it had for earth.

“May I have time to think about this request, which you must admit your grace, was quite unexpected and startling.”

“Of course, of course.” said the priest while admitting to himself that he had been considering the fate of Mary for years, while this poor man had freshly been confronted by the dilemma which until now had nothing to do with him.

Joseph was glad to have more time to compose his rejection of the idea. The men sat in silence for a few moments. With nothing more to say, Joseph gathered the trash and excused himself to go back to his shack, away from the scene that was to radically change his life and erase his anonymity forever. The priest bid him farewell and the two men parted ways. 

Joseph returned to his workshop steeped in thought. The angels surrounding him did their best to calm his whirling mind and direct him to the obvious decision. Joseph thought that it was more like adopting this young woman, than marrying as he had his wife when they were both so young. He wondered if she would expect to have children. Then his mind wandered to the girl, to what she would think of being betrothed to such an old man as he. What could she be like having grown up in this rich and beautiful place? He concluded that he should meet her. Then he wondered if he had any choice in the matter at all, and about what this young lady would think of all this. The couple, as all couples are were thrust together, but usually it was by parents, not priests. Joseph knew he was no youngster starting out in life. He was roughly the same age as the priest and already had a family. He was asked, not told to marry this young woman. That morning Joseph decided that he had best meet the girl. He was glad to be able to focus on his work and tried to force himself not to think about this proposal from the priest but to place all of his energy on shaping the wood. 

...

The high priest eagerly went to Mother with the good news of his solution and announcement to Joseph. He was filled with joy and couldn’t wait to share it with his co-worrier. Fortunately he found her in the first place he looked, in her office. Mother was as delighted to hear the news as if it was already a done deal. How providential that the man was from her own village! “The Lord provides, blessed be the name of the Lord!”

Mother was less thrilled to be told that it was she who would have to inform Mary of their plan for her to marry. She tried to argue with the priest, as she thought Mary would be more respectful and obedient to him than to her because of their closeness, but he wouldn’t hear of it. To make it more difficult the priest added the pressure that she would have to tell Mary soon, as the throne was almost complete and he didn’t think he could stall the departure of Joseph much longer. Then the priest departed from Mother’s office before she could think of another excuse to evade this unpleasant task. 

Sitting at her desk, the quietness of the room betrayed the air filled with excitement. The first step, the preamble to the birth of God had been taken. The angels were delirious with joy while Mother fretted. She knew that Mary would not want to hear this, and she didn’t blame her. After being treated as a child of God and as close to being a princess as any commoner, living at the school and having servants do all the heavy chores for her, Mary was ill prepared to become the maid and cook of this man and his children. 

At supper that evening Mother invited Mary to her apartment. That was not unusual, because Mother invited all the girls from time to time to visit so she could monitor their individual formation. The only clue that Mary had to this cataclysmic decision was that she had already visited Mother two weeks, not months earlier. 

Inside the apartment Mother offered Mary a cup of tea with honey, which she gladly accepted. 

“Mary, I have something to tell you that you will not want to hear.” 

Mary looked at Mother quizzically wondering what could be worse than the day she told her that her mother had died suddenly. “Yes Mother?” she replied sweetly.

The sweetness of her voice, her innocence and purity crushed Mother’s heart. She deplored the need to destroy this child’s dreams, for Mother knew that Mary only wanted to stay in the temple her whole life long, to worship at the Holy altar of the Lord with melodious chants, the harmony of her voice with His glory in the mystical way that only the angels could hear. Silence ensued while Mother searched for the right words unaware that the angels were transmitting them to her, and if she would only relax and not tense up as she had, they would flow freely.

They did not flow freely, but the angel’s words managed to find sound. “Mary, as you know our will is not the same as the will of God. We are often tested and tried; we must learn to humble ourselves. Um. God gives us parents and commands us to honor and obey them. Um. You know I have been, I am your mother, and the high priest is your father on earth. We know your heart, and that you would like to live here forever. That is not possible. We have found a man to betroth you to.” She stopped there, finally getting out the news.

“Ahhhh!!!” replied Mary, shocked at the statement. This was the last thing she expected to hear that day. She was speechless. 

“Mary,” said Mother searching for her eyes and not finding them as her head was bowed low. “I am sure that this is God’s will for you.”

“Thank you Mother. May I go now?”

“Yes dear, but please return tomorrow after supper and I will tell you the details.” 

Mary smiled the smile of sweet acquiescence, turned and walked out of the room. Where could she go to cry? She thought she must go to the rose garden where she was last with her papa. And off she went. 

When she arrived, she first washed her hands, and splashed her face in the fountain as if the water could wash away her confusion and her sorrow. Then she sat in the place her papa had sat, to feel the echo of his presence. The angels surrounded her but allowed her to feel all her own feelings and to think all her own thoughts. God demanded that of them. 

She sat and thought about the shocking news. She wondered what it was about the news of her imminent betrothal that was the most devastating. For so long she imagined herself to be a single child of God, devoted to prayer, chanting, serving the poor. Never had she imagined being forced to marry. She didn’t care who the man was, she just felt so ill prepared for life in the world. For any kind of life in the world. For life with a man whoever he was. 

As she sat and thought, she wondered if God had rejected her, and that was why she was being thrust out of the temple. What could she have done to alienate her Lord. This thought burst the dam that held back her emotions. She cried.  

The sound of weeping reached Joseph’s ears as he was carving in his makeshift workshop. He was sure it was a lady in distress, but he wasn’t sure if he should interfere. Joseph stepped away from his throne and looked for the lady in distress.

When he passed enough shrubs and plants he spotted her sitting on the bench. The poor girl looked so forlorn, as if she hadn’t a friend in the world. She had lost her foothold on the earth, and in heaven. Joseph sensed that he should leave her be, so he withdrew back to his shack.

Mary never felt so alone before in her life. Tears flowed freely with a deep yearning to be with her mama or her papa. Where could she find the comfort of her mother who would have known exactly what to say to her.  She also cried without any thoughts at all, she just needed to cry, to cry as she hadn’t cried since she was a baby. Her whole world collapsed, and she was at a loss for any rope to grab on to. She hadn’t even returned to Nazareth since she was brought to the Temple ten years before. Jerusalem was her whole world. Her mind was spinning with fear of being thrust into a new life in the small town. She didn’t dare pour her heart out to the high priest or to any of the other girls. The tears slowed to a trickle as if they simply ran out. She wiped her face on the skirt of her gown, and tried to compose herself. 

The gaggle of angels that surrounded her were filled with compassion for this orphan. ‘Poor girl, she didn’t expect this. She expected to always be what she had always known herself to be.’ A few more-sensitive angels wept with her. 

In her machinations Mary thought to run away. She wanted to run away from the man they wanted to link her to. She could go...? Where? “Maybe,” she thought, “maybe I can go to Bethlehem to my aunts and my cousins. They would take me in!” 

“And what would you do there?” she replied to herself. “I could be their maid.” 

“And how will that serve the Lord?”

She cornered herself.  

The temptation to run away, to indulge in her will over what her spiritual mother and father prepared for her, soon reminded her of Eve who was tempted to eat the forbidden fruit that said, “Don’t obey God. He doesn’t want you to be wise. Don’t trust Him.”

“A flicker of light entered her soul. Whether it was from an angel or from deep within her nature, she said to herself, “Is it possible that this marriage is the will of the Lord for me? How can it be?” She thought it was Mother and the the priest whose will she fought. Then she wondered, “What is God’s will for me?” The answer came easily. “God’s will was for her to obey the priest, and her spiritual Mother whom God put over her. She realized that the right path was in the Law. The Law is life. The Law commanded her to honor and obey her mother and father.”  Mary walked over to the fountain and scooped some water in her hands and splashed her face again and again to wash away the salty tears. Then she wiped her face with her skirt and sat back down on the bench to continue her conversation with herself. Empty moments after sitting down, she realized that the ‘conversation’ was ended and resolved. 

Mary walked back to look for Mother. She wasn’t in her office, she wasn’t in a classroom, she wasn’t in her apartment. Finally Mary looked in the synagogue and found Mother praying there alone. She smiled knowing that her resolve was confirmed. The decision for her to marry had been from the Lord, as unappealing, as as unlikely as it seemed to her. It was time to meet the man.

ALIVE: Chapter 100, The Passing of Anna

On this day as Mary stood among her schoolmates in the temple chanting and worshipping during the service of the sixth hour, her heart welled up within her. She felt happy, rather it was quiet exhilaration. She didn’t know why exactly, but she kept on chanting. She carefully listened to every word that she was singing, and she absorbed them and meant them. When the service ended and Mary was filing out of the temple, in middle of a gaggle of pious girls of different shapes and sizes, she spotted Mother weaving through the flock towards her. 

“Mary, come with me to my apartment please. I’d like to speak with you.” she said when she was within range to speak quietly.

“Yes, mother.” replied Mary wondering what she could want. 

The two ladies peeled off  from the group, walking side by side in silence. When they arrived at her apartment, Mother stepped in front of Mary to open her door. 

“Please sit down here.” she said pointing to her most comfortable chair and sat across from darling Mary. 

Mary looked up calmly and inquisitively. Mother noticed how beautiful this young girl had become, so serene and so humble. “My dear, I’m saddened to tell you that your mother passed away today.” Mary gasped. Mother stopped to give her a moment to process the harsh news. 

Mary’s eyes widened in disbelief as if she opened them to allow the comfort of wisdom to enter, and when it didn’t, they returned to normal. Instead, sheer emotion, tears, spilled out that had welled up from her heart. She didn’t want it to be true, but like being faced with big concrete wall, she had nowhere to go but to admit the reality of it.

After a few tender moments, Mother continued. “She was expected at her neighbor’s house for lunch and when she didn’t arrive, the neighbor went to her home. When she went inside she found your mother still in bed. She went over and saw that the breath of God had left her. She wants you to know that she looked very peaceful. Her eyes were still open looking to heaven, so the woman shut her eyes and went for the priest. We must be going to meet them at the tomb. Sunset is neigh.”

Mary and mother quickly stood up together and hugged. Mother was the first to break away from the embrace, but she took Mary’s hand and bowed her head, “Our Lord and our God. May Your will be done in all things. Please look upon your humble servant Mary, now an orphan, and father her and lead her to do Your holy will all the days of her life.” The mother looking up led Mary out of the apartment. The two women scurried over to the tomb which was a close walk from the temple. Mary was in a daze. Everything in her life changed so quickly, she felt untethered without her mother in the world.

When Mother and Mary arrived at the tomb they found a small group of people there waiting for her. Reuben, the neighbor who found her, the innkeeper, and a few other ladies all looked at Mary as the two ladies approached them, relieved that they had arrived before sunset. 

Mary went directly over to the priest out of respect. He took her hand in both of his and expressed his grief over the loss of Anna. “Your mother was a very special lady Mary. I will miss her. She was a devoted servant of the Lord. Her sacrifices did not go unnoticed by God.” Overhearing this Anna’s friends started to weep. It was true. 

Mary looked up to notice the sky was emblazoned with streaks of orange, pink, and red. The sun’s last message of the day was beauty and rest. The spectacular sight penetrated Mary’s heart and gave her an inexplicable sense of calm, as a good night kiss from her beloved mother. 

The priest began, “O Shepherd of Israel, Who dost neither slumber nor sleep, we are the people of Thy pasture and the sheep of Thy hand. Enfold us safely in Thy love. And if in our grief and loneliness and moments of desolation, we should stray from following Thee, O leave us not, faithful Shepherd, but draw us near unto Thee.

God, full of mercy, who dwells in the heights, provide a sure rest upon the Divine Presence's wings [...] Therefore, the Master of Mercy will protect her forever, from behind the hiding of his wings, and will tie her soul with the rope of life. The Everlasting is her heritage, and she shall rest peacefully upon her lying place, and let us say: Amen.”

Mary concluded the service chanting Alleluia, but this time instead of with her mother, for her. Rueben and the priest, were reminded of when Anna and Mary had chanted with such stunning harmony at Joachim’s funeral.  With Mary’s lonely chant they felt the depth of her grief. Actually Mary was glorifying God for blessing her with such a devoted mother. Deep within her soul, while she was praising God, Mary vowed to follow her example of humility, no matter what the cost to her pride. She couldn’t imagine a world without her mother to whom she had grown so close these last few years. 

After the funeral, they sat shuvus at the neighbor’s home. Other women, friends of Anna, had prepared a supper buffet and were ready for the arrival of the funeral party. 

As soon as it was polite, Mary asked to be excused and went to her mother’s home. She could not chat with these women when her heart was overflowing with love for her mother who, she would not see or hear again. Her mind was spinning, trying to grasp the meaning of death, the meaning of Anna’s death to her. 

In her mother’s empty home, alone for the first time ever, Mary plopped herself down on mother’s chair of prayer. She knew mother had spent a lot of time in this chair, praying and reading or just in contemplation. She wanted to feel her presence, just as she had her father’s on the bench at the rose garden; how much more could she sense her mama, in this room where she had lived alone for two years. Mary dosed off sitting in the chair.

In deep sleep, Mary saw her mother, only the woman did not look like her mama, nevertheless she knew it was her. Anna was very young, perhaps only a little older than Mary was. The young lady was floating in the sky and Mary wanted to follow her. She reached her arms high and called, “Pick me up! I want to be with you!” 

Young Anna said, “No, you have to stay down there.” Suddenly both young ladies, Mary and Anna, were walking across a field. Anna said, “It is so hot today!” 

“Look over there, a cave! Let’s go inside and cool off! I’ll race you!” Anna took off and Mary ran to catch up. Mary was as swift as a stallion and soon surpassed her mother. She reached the cave first and entered huffing and puffing to catch her breath. Anna was still running towards her when Mary turned around to see how deep the cave was. She walked deeper and deeper into the cool dark cave to follow a distant sound. Soon she saw that the sound was coming from a stream of water. She cupped her hands to drink the water, when Anna appeared beside her and said, “Let me drink first to make sure it’s clean.”

Suddenly Anna disappeared and Mary started calling for her. Where could she have gone? “Mama, mama!” shouted Mary. “Where are you? Come back! It’s so dark in here! I’m afraid!” And she really was. Mary started to cry like a baby. The stream of water that she had been standing beside poured out of her eyes. But it felt good and cool. She forgot about her mama and squeezed her eyes tight to make the water stop. She squeezed harder and harder until her face was all pressed together, puckered lips and wrinkled nose and all. Then she heard a drum beat and wondered if there was another person in the cave. The drum got louder and louder and woke her up!

It was a knock on her mother’s door. Mary was surprised that she had fallen asleep. It was morning already! She stood up and walked over to the door.  It was Mother looking for her.

“Oh Mary, I am so glad to find you here. We were worried. It took me a while to find your mother’s address. Are you alright my dear?”

“Oh mother, I’m so sorry. I came here after sitting shuva and fell asleep in the chair! Can we sit here for a little bit. Can I get you some tea?”  

There were so many angels in that room that the most sensitive person would feel jittery, but Mary was still rather young and Mother had the composure of a monk-nun. She easily perceived what a blessing the situation was, as if the Lord God was raining sparkling flakes of gold that dissipated mid-air to fill the space with light and the fragrance of a field of  pink roses. The angels were watching intensely, in awe and admiration too of the blessing of the moment. For Mary and her two mothers to be alone together free from the distractions of the busy school and the pressures of the temple life was one of those rare golden moments in life that are cherished forever.

Yes, Anna was there too, the remnants of her spirit in the furnishings and her beloved trinkets that filled the room with her precious memories. Mary and Mother were enveloped in Anna there. 

Mary prepared the tea while Mother sat herself at the table and watched. She perceived that Mary was so comfortable in her mother’s home. 

Mary knew just where to find her mother’s best cups. She was happy to see that there was still some honey in the honey pot too. She prepared the tea, and found some biscuits for Mother. At that moment Mary felt as if the whole world had fallen asleep outside and she and her beloved Mother were in a bubble. 

“Thank you my dear. This is delicious.” said Mother while sipping her tea. “You know, I too was an only child.”

“Really, Mother. Please tell me about your childhood. I have never even imagined you as a child.”

Mother laughed. “Of course not. My mother died while trying to give birth to a brother. Both mother and the baby died. I was only three years old, but I’ll never forget the grief and fear I felt that day. I think I cried for a week without stopping. My father too cried. We cried together, he often clutching me in his arms.”

“Oh, Mother! How horrible, how sad!”

“Yes and no, my dear. My father was a good man, he loved my mother very much. He became both father and mother to me. He was a shepherd and he would take me out into the fields with him while I was still very young. We spent many hours talking about the Lord and life. My father had the faith of Job, and he never veered from it. Many of the village women and my aunts wanted to take me into their homes, but he wouldn’t hear of it.”

Mary’s eyes welled up with tears of sympathy, thinking about her papa too. 

“Mary, have you noticed how a little candle light can fill a dark room with light. The darker the room, the brighter is the light. In your life, you too will have hardship, but please remember the lesson of the candle. Look for the light in your hours of darkness.”

“Like this moment. I am so very sad Mother, but if my mama was still alive, we would not have had this time together. So what happened when you grew up? Did you go to school?”

“Yes, my father sent me to the temple when he knew that I needed more than he could give me, and he knew I needed the companionship of other girls. Sending me away was a great loss and sacrifice for him.

Mary, I too am so glad to have this time alone together. Your mother was a very special woman. I admired her very much. I’ll never forget the day she brought you to me. I could tell how difficult it was for her to leave you. The anguish in that mother’s heart could only be soothed by her devotion and gratitude to the Lord, for blessing her with you. She was a remarkable woman. She suffered such loneliness when she had to return to an empty home. But she filled the hollow space with gratitude and praise instead of grief. Mary, I don’t know any other woman who would have relinquished her only child, her daughter to God. I have tried to be a good substitute mother to you, but your mother Anna was the queen of mothers in my mind.”

Mary smiled shyly. “Thank you Mother for telling me these things. I am so grateful for these last years of getting to spend more time with her. In some ways I feel that she really became my mother in these years. She was a very wise woman, and I hope to become like her.”

After two hours of heart to heart talk, the ladies decided that they had been absent long enough, and had best return to the temple. Mother helped Mary tidy up, and she washed the dishes. 

Before walking out they took a good long look at Anna’s cozy home home and Mother said, “you will need to pack up what you want, and plan a trip back to Nazareth, to take these things to your home there, where you will go when you graduate soon. I will find someone to accompany you. I will also find someone to sell this house, which will ....” Mother stopped herself because she wanted to say that it would be her dowry, but she knew that was a subject for another day.

“Yes, Mother. I suppose my whole life is about to change. I pray the Lord will guide me to do His will always.”

“Yes Mary, your Mother, Anna, was a good model to show you how doing God’s will, even if it isn’t your choice for your life is the right path to take.”

“I am glad to have been raised in the temple. To get to know you and the other girls. I would have been a very different person had I stayed in Nazareth. I suppose it’s best not even to make plans for my future, but let the Lord guide me. I trust him.”

Mother figured that enough was said about that, but she was happy to hear Mary sounding more open to betrothal than before. 

The ladies walked back to the temple, even though Mary would have appreciated more time alone in her mother’s home.

When they arrived at school Mary asked mother for permission to go to the altar and pray. Permission was granted.

Mary entered the hallowed space and instantly felt hollow and full of emotion. As she stood facing the altar, she felt as if her parents had planted her on the earth and left. She was abandoned, but a greater parent, the Lord, had always been there to father her. 

She began to pray aloud but quietly, “My Lord and God, my King and Father all I ever really need is Your love and Your guidance. I offer my soul and my body to you Lord. I have no need for a husband, who may come between us, because I don’t want to share my love with anyone but You. I vow this day before you, what I have mentioned to others, but on this day I vow to remain a Virgin. I will trust You to guide me and take care of me. I will serve you all the days of my life. And when I go to Sheol, I will worship You, even from that frightening place of the dead.”

The High priest was in the temple and he saw Mary pray. In the big dark space of the temple sound bounced from wall to wall and he could hear her whispered vows. 

ALIVE: Chapter 99, Family Reunion

Mary woke up naturally every morning to greet the sun. She loved the feeling of waking up. Often she would open her eyes in her still dark dormitory and listen to the cacophony of girls breathing and snoring. Then she watched as the light oh so gradually illuminated her spacious room as if by magic. 

Every morning she felt in awe of the way light dispersed throughout the room evenly and with no form of its own, but rather light transformed the air from its darkness. On some mornings, while she watched, she pondered about the moment God said, “Light be.” How amazing that moment must have been for God. She imagined that the Light started from within Him, from His very core and burst forth like an aria. Or, she wondered if it was like morning in her dark dormitory room where it started with dimness and grew very very slowly until it extinguished the night. And if there was no heaven yet, did the light just linger inside God? With so many questions like this one, Mary simply shrugged her young shoulders, sad that she could never know. There was so much she wanted to know about God, about the God they read about, and sung to and worshipped. 

On this morning Mary stretched a good long stretch, then rolled over and ever so quietly put her feet on the cold hard floor and stood up, then she picked up the dress at the foot of her bed and changed out of her nightgown quietly and creeped out of the building to walk alone at dawn. She traced the steps she took with her father and mother on the day they had the picnic together. She tiptoed passed the busy kitchen building and walked the path through the herb garden to the rose garden. She washed her hands and then her face in the fountain. The water coming from deep inside the earth felt so cool and good on her face. She cupped her hand under it and took a long drink. She felt the water traveling down her throat and into her chest refreshing and watering her body. What a gift, what a blessing water is! Mary walked over to the bench, looked at it carefully to remember the very spot where her papa sat only a few months earlier, and there she placed herself in the echo of his being. She closed her eyes to thank the Lord for such a kind and gentle papa. She asked Him to watch over him in Sheol, and then wondered if that was possible.

This was the morning that God ordered a new regimen of angels to stand guard over Mary, also to be headed by the archangel Gabriel. The old guard specialized in children, but now Mary, without an earthly father was becoming a young woman. The vacuum that Joachim left was being filled with a divine passion for the Heavenly Father. Joachim had taught, her by his deep abiding love for her, to know God for His kindness. The angels watched over her to protect her heart from the knowledge of evil and its poisonous fruit. Being raised out of the world with its lusts and passions, with vengeance and ignorances, was her first layer of protection.

Like a prize winning rose, Mary lived in a world with the perfect conditions of sunshine and water, of rest and of growth. The house mother showed her, when she had to correct other girls how God chastises with love, not with vengeance; Mary was alert to how she did that. She marveled at how the mother never made a girl feel inferior or ashamed. After being chastised by mother, the girl walked away wanting to please her. In this way mother aimed to heal the soul that strayed from the golden path as she would say. The temple life was an incubator of love and faith in the real and awesome God; it was the rich loamy soil that welcomed roots to grow deep within it, so the tree could reach for the heavens where God dwells. The temple where Mary was raised was a place where worship percolated naturally like a warm spring.

Sitting in the space her father had occupied gave Mary a sense of comfort; she imagined that her papa’s energy was still there, so she closed her eyes and tried to feel him and to smell him with her memory.

Suddenly Mary opened her eyes and remembered that it must be late and the others would be looking for her. She looked for the position of the sun and then quickly made her way to the dining room for breakfast. 

At breakfast, a messenger boy entered the dining room and announced that Mary’s mother would be coming for her to go to the valley of Josaphat.

“Oh! That’s right! I nearly forgot.” thought Mary, “Today is the day that papa’s bones are arriving from Nazareth and we will lay them in the tomb that mama had built for our family. No  wonder I have been thinking about papa so much lately!”

Anna arrived promptly at high noon to fetch Mary who was waiting for her at the front door of the school building holding a bouquet of flowers in her hand. The chief priest stood by her side waiting with her. They did not speak to each other. 

But when Anna approached he said, “Greetings Anna. What a beautiful day the Lord has given to us. Before we know it, Passover will be upon us.”

Anna who had walked from her home to the temple, approached the priest with a smile and extended her hand. Then she turned to her daughter for a hug and a peck on the cheek. Mary smelled like a breath of fresh air and Anna soon realized that the fragrance was coming from the flowers.

“Mama, I cut flowers for papa this morning!”

“How thoughtful my dear. I am sure he will love them.”

Mary looked down at her flowers to take in another glimpse of their colors and the velvety texture of some of the petals. 

“We must be going now.” said the priest tapping his cane on the ground to get the ladies’ attention. “Will they meet us there?”

“Yes,” replied Anna. “Together yesterday we received the ossuary from the caravan. Reuben took Joachim to his home. He may be at the tomb already. Yes, let’s be going.” 

Indeed, by the time Anna, Mary and the priest arrived at the tomb, Reuben with the ossuary were waiting for them. 

“What a lovely tomb you have built here Anna. Mazel Tov. May peace be upon your family, Alav ha-shalom, until the Messiah comes. Let us pray.”

The priest received the ossuary from Reuben who then opened the door of the tomb and the priest carefully placed Joachim’s bones in their final, most majestic resting place. 

Anna watched thinking of the day she would rejoined him in there. Tears filled Mary’s eyes, but she controlled her emotions lest she make a scene, of which she knew her father would not have approved. She listened very attentively as the priest prayed, 

“God, filled with mercy, dwelling in the heavens' heights, bring proper rest beneath the wings of your Shechinah, amid the ranks of the holy and the pure, illuminating like the brilliance of the skies the soul of our beloved Joachim, our blameless one who went to his eternal place of rest. May You who are the source of mercy shelter him beneath Your wings eternally, and bind his soul among the living, that he may rest in peace. And let us say: Amen”

Anna and Mary chanted Amen and Alleluia with such beautiful harmony that Reuben and the priest were taken aback. In fact several moments of silence followed the glorious chant to allow the sound to gradually rise into the heavens. 

The ladies bent down on their knees and kissed the ground and then taking turns they kissed the tomb. 

Anna, filled with mixed emotions of grief and joy, grief over her loss and joy in her faith in God and her love of life, turned to the priest who extended his hand to her. Anna received his hand and bowed her head to kiss it. Then Mary followed her mother and kissed the hand of the priest. Expressions of gratitude for each other and for the shared intensity of the moment followed as the little group of Joachim’s mourners prepared to disband. Each of the four people were aware that he and she was walking away from the most solemn moment of the day, perhaps of the week. Reuben and the priest were the first to leave. Anna and Mary were not ready to tear themselves away. The ladies stood in silence for several moments to allow the love of Joachim’s soul to, dare I say, to almost materialize. Like sound and light.  So real was his presence to each of them. 

Anna gazed at her lovely daughter, aware of how deeply she loved her papa, and he loved her. After all, they shared common blood, common fathers and grandfathers and mothers. As much as she loved Her husband, Anna knew that Mary was linked to Joachim in a way that Anna was not. Deep within Mary lay Joachim’s mother and father and his grandparents welling up in her soul. But, Mary was linked also to herself. Mary was the fruit of their love and of their union. Once again Anna was profoundly grateful for this miracle child, and prayed “Lord, may our Mary bring You joy with her life as she has brought us. May she, in purity and innocence serve You and worship You, the Almighty God.”

Mary who was looking around at all the tombs and up in the sky at the birds flying freely, looked over at her mama and said, “Mama have you ever been to Mount Olivet? You know how papa liked to hike up the mountains? Do you want to do that? It is not too late yet. We could go to the Mount of Olives, or Calvary. Want to?” 

“Oh my dear, I don’t think I can do either. Let’s go to our garden plot in Gethesmene. I want to show you what I did there this week. You will have to take your young girlfriends for the hike someday. We need to start planning for Passover! Your aunts and uncles are coming soon!” replied the elderly Anna, sorry to be disappointing her Mary. 

Mother and daughter walked away from Joachim’s bones to the garden where Mary’s Son in the future would often go to pray, to speak with His Father for guidance, for council, for comfort, and one morning before the dawn to await His betrayer. Sitting together in the garden mother and daughter alternated between silence and chatting about Passover. Each lady was absorbing the sounds and sights around them mixed with their thoughts, like a garden of fragrant flowers and weeds, sticks and herbs. 

When they arrived, Mary was amazed at how beautiful the garden was and how many plants and shrubs had grown since her last visit. “Oh mama! You must have worked so hard, look at this! It is lovely!”

“Thank you darling. Yes, it has been a labor of love, but also of therapy. I spend my days, whenever I can, working the earth; come and look at these roses!” Anna lead Mary to her rose bed. The roses were in full bloom and plentiful. Anna proudly showed Mary her  pure white roses and shy pink ones, perky yellows and deep blood reds. “Oh mama, let me come and help you one day.”

“Of course you can my dear, there is always work to be done, especially weeding! They are relentless! But now, let’s sit on the bench and talk about Passover.”

The ladies talked for over an hour about the plans Anna had made for her sisters and their families. Mary told her mother that she was granted permission for her family to celebrate the Seders at the temple. Anna was delighted with the idea and offered to bring anything they would ask of her. 

Eventually the sun descended low enough in the sky that Mary thought she had better return to her home. 

“Oh mama, I have enjoyed our day so much that I forgot completely about school! I must be getting back!” 

“Of course you must, go! I will stay here for a few more moments.” Mary stood up and gave her a kiss good bye, saying, “Oh mama, I love you so much. I am so grateful that you live here now. Bye bye.”

Anna replied, “Remember, in two weeks, the family will arrive. Ask if you can spend the first day in the city with your cousins, okay?” 

“Oh yes, that will be so much fun.” And with that Mary called out “Shalom!” as she departed.

Anna followed her with her eyes until she could see her no more. And then she contemplated the day, the full and glorious day. What a gift it had been.

A week later the family from Bethlehem arrived on the caravan together to celebrate the Passover with their newly widowed sister in Jerusalem. Anna met them and after hugs and handshakes led them to the rooms she had reserved at the establishment where she and Joachim had always stayed. There was a room for her sister Mary and her husband, and one for Salome and her husband. Salome’s daughter Elizabeth, now married to Zecheriah had a room of their own. The children had to sleep on the floors of their parents’ rooms, but none of them minded. 

The sisters were thrilled that Anna had arranged for her family to share the Passover Seders at the Temple with Mary. What an honor that was.

The following day Zecheriah and Elizabeth walked to the temple together. When they arrived, they parted as men and women always did. Zecheriah went to meet with the chief priest and Elizabeth went to find her young cousin Mary. She was directed to the entrance of the school where she was told where to find the mother’s office. Elizabeth was in awe of the grandeur of the building as she looked around and saw all the handiwork in carved stones that encircled the columns, pelicans and elephants and floral designs. When she arrived at the door she knocked gently to prevent offending the sanctity of the space, but when she heard nothing Elizabeth ventured to knock a little louder. “Enter!” She heard from inside the room. She gently opened the door to find a mature woman with kind blue eyes surprised to see her. “Hello, excuse me, I expected someone else. May I help you?” 

“Yes, my name is Elizabeth and I am the cousin of one of your students, Mary daughter of Joachim and Anna. My family has come from Bethlehem for the Passover. My husband is a priest so he brought me here to visit the chief priest. We thought I could spend some time with my cousin. Is that possible?”

“Welcome! Of course it is. Let’s go look for her together.” replied mother graciously. 

Elizabeth walked briskly besides mother down one corridor and another peeking in rooms without doors until mother spotted Mary and she called, “Mary, you have a visitor!”

Mary looked up and over at Elizabeth curiously for it had been many years since they had been together and both ladies had developed very different appearances. Yet, Mary quickly intuited that this was her cousin Elizabeth, and with a bright face she cheerfully went over to Elizabeth to give her a hug and welcome her. “How wonderful to see you! Mother, may I be excused from school today?”

“Of course you may, but be at worship this evening. It was a pleasure meeting you Elizabeth. I pray that you enjoy your stay in Jerusalem.”

“Thank you, mam. I am certain that I will.” And after hearing that, mother returned to her office and Mary gathered her things and bade her teacher and classmates goodbye.”

Mary took Elizabeth to her favorite spot in the rose garden and the cousins spoke for hours. Mary looked up to Elizabeth like a big sister. Elizabeth asked Mary what the school was like, and what they learned. And Elizabeth told Mary how pleasant it was to have a husband to care for, and who watched over her. The older girl and the younger cousin talked about their mothers and their common aunt, and Elizabeth described Bethlehem for her curious cousin. There was nothing under the sun that the girls did not talk to each other about. Their relationship blossomed on that day. The special reunion was halted abruptly by the sound of the shofar calling them to worship. 

“Oh my,” said Mary, “we must go. Will you come with me?”

“Yes, I’d love to. I’m sure Zecheriah will be there. How else can I find him?” 

Off they went to worship their Lord, filled with the joy of love and admiration for each other, two icons of God, returning to their source. 

...

That night as Mary lay in her bed waiting for sleep to come, she ruminated about her older married cousin who was so happy, and she wondered if it was possible to be married and still keep her vow to the Lord to be a Virgin forever. Without a conclusion, a gentle sleep came over Mary from her guardian angel who knew when and how to calm her active mind.

Passover Seder at the Temple was a mystical experience with the whole  family. The entire synagogue was one big family, although from different tribes and mixed tribes. Strangers became brothers. The chief priest presided. This helped Anna a lot. Traditionally, Joachim lead the Seder meal. To be in such a large warm gathering alleviated the sting of Joachim’s absence. 

That week, the younger cousins, even Elizabeth and Zecheriah hiked up the Mt of Olives in memory of Joachim, and they went shopping in the city. They also all went to the tomb of David. It was such a wonderful family reunion. Mary spent a lot of time with her cousins. 

When the Passover week ended and it was time for the family to return to Bethlehem, the cousins felt nourished by their joy and love for each other renewed. Mary and Elizabeth hugged a good long hug of sisterhood. After they separated Elizabeth told Zecheriah “You know, I sense that there is something very special about that girl, I just don’t know what it is, I can’t put my finger on it, but she is unique!” Zecheriah replied, “How many girls, or boys for that matter, who have been raised in the temple do you know?”

“Okay okay, you can say that, but I still think she is special.” 

ALIVE: Chapter 98, Anna

Anna returned to her house after the burial with a parade of neighbors who gathered to fill her home with the opposite of the great loss that was the real condition of it. For a few hours there was chatter and an abundance of food brought in by kind cooks. The sun had set outside, but within those sad and somber walls oil lamps blazed. Anna was grateful for the compassion of her neighbors, but she was tired and confused and wanted to be alone. Deborah asked Anna if she would like her to stay the night, but Anna rejected such a kindhearted request before she really thought about it. The opportunity was gone, and so Deborah was the last to leave Anna with a hug.

 After tidying up a bit, Anna decided to leave the rest for the morrow. She went into her bedroom and glared at the empty bed. Was it really just that morning that she had discovered that Joachim had left her forever? Was it that morning that she held his cold hand and petted his stiff body? “Oh, my husband, where did you go? How could you leave me all alone? Our childlessness sewed us together as two pieces of cloth; there was no gaggle of children to busy us with their chaotic humanity. After our great shame, Mary arrived, and this infant, this toddler, this child kept us bound us to each other for our common devotion of her. She became a stabilizing third leg of our family. Oh, how will I tell her that her beloved father is gone to the place of the dead where his arms cannot reach to hug her and his eyes will never sparkle at beholding her again? Will anyone ever behold our Mary with such adoration, ever again?”

 In the eerie stillness of the room, Anna imagined that she could hear Joachim’s breathing. She knew that the sound of it was coming from within her imagination out of habit, the repetition of it after thousands of days of listening, like the sound of a waterfall fills a man’s head and is still there when he visits the desert. So she stood quietly, closed her eyes and listened until the sound of Joachim breathing faded away and the harsh dead silence of the room consumed the remnant of his breath. She turned and solemnly walked out of their bedroom.

 Sitting in her chair, more thoughts filled the emptiness of the space, Anna wondered whether or not she wanted to sleep in Joachim’s death bed that night. Perhaps she should let the marriage bed adjust to his absence, so she could visit it anew when she would be a little more of her new self than she was at that delicate moment. Anna was so tired of thinking that she soon collapsed into a deep sleep sitting erect in her chair.

 She woke up while it was still pitch black dark and yet she found herself to be alert. Instantly she remembered that she was alone and had fallen asleep in her chair and that Joachim was dead. The memory of planting him in the earth was fresh and frightening. How strange for him to be under the earth. How cold? How is it, she thought, that married souls can be torn apart? Her heart ached an ache of loneliness that was unfamiliar and jarring. Then she remembered her daughter. At that moment She was more grateful than ever before that she had a daughter to love and be loved by. Anna decided at that moment that she would move to Jerusalem to be near her. That would be best. It would be too difficult for her to stay in their empty home without Joachim to care for, to mend his clothes and wash them, to feed, to heal, to talk to.

 She knew that she couldn’t live with Mary in the temple, but perhaps it would be enough to live near her in the big city; to be able to visit more often, and certainly to not have to make the difficult journey by herself as she too was gradually becoming more frail. Before very long she would be eighty years old, just as Joachim was when he died. Anna knew that these were the years to prepare her own soul for her pilgrimage to Sheol. She wondered what Joachim was experiencing at that moment. No one had come back from the dead to tell what it was like. Death was the end, a dark prison of a world where souls go since Adam and Eve. It is a curse; it is a well-deserved punishment. Then she wondered why Eve allowed the serpent to separate her from God’s command. He only asked one thing of them, not to eat the fruit, was that so difficult? Now they have hundreds of laws to obey.  Enough of these thoughts. Anna would pray.

Instead of conversing with herself she began to speak with the Lord, her Maker. “O Lord of the broken hearted, give ear to my words, give heed to my sighing. Listen to my cry, my King and my God for to You do I pray. O Lord, in the night watch you hear my voice; in the morning I plead my case to you and watch. Tell me where in I should go, I will bow down toward your holy temple in awe of You. I will give You, my Lord, the Lord, thanks and sing praise I give to the name of the Lord most high.” On the wings of those words came the affirmation that indeed she needed to sell the fields and the herd but keep her home in Nazareth for Mary. Anna became resolute and peaceful. She would not wallow in her great loss, but instead she would turn her face to Jerusalem where she could find peace.

At that moment, Anna noticed light gently filling her home through any opening it could find. Sunrise had come at last. But now she was sleepy again. Anna threw the blanket off her legs and got up from her chair and walked into her bedroom where the echo of Joachim rested on the bed. Anna crawled in next to him. Soon she was sleeping a restful deep and dreamless sleep.

The heat of the day woke Anna up. She washed her face and hands. And walked into the center of the village to announce that she wanted to sell her fields and flock. She was greeted by everyone who passed her by. Joachim was a beloved elder in the community and his loss was felt by all, which is what made it so much harder for Anna. She felt their grief along with her own continuously welling up within her, to the point that she could not separate their grief from her own. “Oh, my Joachim, where did you go? I want to follow you as I often did, but my body clings to this earth, and my heart clings to our daughter. How will I tell her?”

Anna arrived at the door of Moishe, their overseer since Joachim became too old to work so hard. A cheerful little boy opened it and greeted Anna with a smile. “How refreshing,” she thought, “to behold this child, to be reminded of new life and youth, the boy, so oblivious to her grief, as oblivious as the trees and the birds. As it should be.”

Before Anna could speak, the boy’s mother rushed to the door. “Anna, please come in! How are you? What a silly question? Please come and sit down. May I get you a cup of tea?”

“Thank you, Isabelle, sure, why not? Is Moishe here?”

Thinking that she must have known that he was out in the fields, she resisted reminding Anna. Instead she casually replied, “He is out right now. Can I give him a message Please sit down at the table here. Let me get the tea and some biscuits. Izzie, show Lady Anna the new dradle daddy made you.”

Settled in with their tea, the ladies were ready to talk. “I have come to ask Moishe to help me find a buyer for the fields and herd. I want to be near Mary.”

“Oh, Anna that is a wise decision. I am sure someone can be found, perhaps we can find the sheckles or work out a plan to pay you instead of receiving our earnings.”

“I will also speak to the priest about this.” added Anna.

The rest of the visit was pleasant. Anna was happy to be away from the house, and especially to see the cheerful little freckled face boy with shocking red hair who lifted her gloom.

Gradually over the next few months Anna developed an independence that she never knew was in her. After she sold the property, she knew it was time to go to Mary, even before Passover. She wanted to find a place to live in Jerusalem. She was ready to leave Nazareth with its haunting memories.

The journey from Nazareth to Jerusalem in the caravan was as difficult as ever, but Anna was glad that she would not have to endure it many more times, perhaps only once more. When she arrived, Anna went directly to the boarding house that had been their Jerusalem home ever since they brought Mary to the temple.

“Lady Anna, how good to see you again? In fact, your room is available. How long will you be here this time? Where is your husband? Is he coming behind you?”

Anna bowed her head to come up with the right words to tell the proprietor that Joachim was dead. She had not had to announce his death before since everyone in the village knew from each other. She thought it was good to practice before having to tell Mary.

“My husband has gone to his rest. I am here to tell our daughter, and to find a place to live to be near her. Do you know where I can find a home of my own?” Anna figured that she might as well start her search.

“Oh, I am so sorry to hear that. Joachim was such a fine and gentle man. Yes, I have a friend who deals in property. I can arrange for him to come here to speak with you tomorrow, say midafternoon?”

“Yes, that is kind of you. I will go to my room now, thank you very much.” Anna was anxious to be in her room alone, to gather her thoughts and prepare herself to tell her daughter that Papa had died. She did not know how Mary would take it.

As she sat on her bed contemplating and praying, Anna was reminded that Mary was God’s daughter first and foremost. That it was the Lord who would never abandon her to Sheol, who even now was watching over Joachim. She remembered the psalm, “Where can I go from Your Spirit; where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend to heaven, You are there. If I make my bed in Sheol, You are there.” Anna shuddered to imagine what Sheol was like.  No, she mustn’t think these things. So she prayed. “Lord God, please guide me, help me to tell Your daughter, our precious daughter that she will never see her father Joachim again on this earth.” Anna then tried to clear her mind of all thoughts and wait for God to speak to her. In her silence Anna noticed a fragrant smell and wondered where it came from. She looked around and saw nothing that could be the source of such beauty. The fragrance was a gift from the Lord. Perhaps it was the message she had been seeking. Anna closed her eyes and laid down surrendering her whole self to God and slipping into a restful sleep.

What Anna didn’t know was that in the predawn morning that Joachim left his body, Mary suddenly woke up in her dormitory. It was still dark out and she saw a light.  All the other girls were sleeping; no one else noticed. It was so strange; she had never seen anything like it before. The light glowed and pulsed. Rather than be afraid, she welcomed the light which comforted her. She remembered that as she had fallen  asleep, she was fretting about her father. He didn’t look strong enough to make the journey back to Nazareth and so she fell asleep praying for him. She sensed that the light was a message about him. Although she didn’t know what it meant, she sensed that her papa had succumbed to the vulnerability of the body, but that her Lord would not allow him to suffer in Sheol forever. She wondered if that was really from the Lord, or just her wish for her papa.  Young Mary relinquished her fears to the Lord. The light faded slowly. She waited for it to return, but when it didn’t, she fell back to sleep to await the dawn.

Several months had passed since that morning. Mary didn’t expect to see her mother so soon, but as soon as she did, she quickly related the visit to that strange morning light.

When she saw her mother alone, she fell into her open arms. There was no need for the announcement that Anna had so feared. They hugged for a good long while as each lady’s heart called out for Joachim to return to it. Mary was weeping in her mother’s arms. Anna was weeping too and wishing that there were some way possible that death could be annihilated. It is too awful. Anna knew how very much Mary adored her father and he adored her. She silently begged God to lift the curse of death. “What can do we do, my Lord, if only we could walk in the Garden with You again? If only Joachim never had to leave this child; she is so young and so innocent.”

The angels hovering over this tender scene, looked at each other, each with a knowing smile. Knowing the future, when the Lord is willing to impart the knowledge, gives them a dimension that can come with calm, even when it follows a cataclysm. After the quick nod, the angels returned to their focus on the tete-a-tete.

Mary was given permission to leave the temple grounds to spend the day with her mother in Jerusalem. They went out looking at neighborhoods and at noonday they visited the man, Jesse, who would help her find a new home. On their way to a place he had in mind, they went by a patch of land for sale. It was a garden near Gethsemane. Mary thought it was beautiful and asked shyly, if mama could buy it and bring papa’s bones to be buried in Jerusalem. “Yes, my darling; I think that might be possible.”

“Then, perhaps our family can be together on, or rather in this earth forever.”

“Oh Mary, what a lovely thought. Jesse, tell the owner we want this plot of land. How much are they asking for it?”

“Yes, my Lady, I will tell him this evening. Now let me show you a nearby home.”

Mary’s sadness subsided under the joy that her mother would live near her in Jerusalem. She wouldn’t have to worry about the journey anymore, and she could be with her mother more often. Knowing that her mother was almost eighty as well, she wondered how many more years they could be together. Mary still adored the house mother, but her own mother, the womb from which she entered the world, and the breast she suckled for three years tugged at Mary’s heart strings and never frayed with time.

...

After a few days visit, having found a small comfortable home not far from the temple, Anna returned to Nazareth for the last time. She prepared her home to be closed and packed everything she thought she would need, only the necessities, leaving many of her heirlooms for Mary on the day she would return to reside there. Anna was comforted by the thought that Mary would never be without a home.

The village gathered to honor Anna on her departure. She was pleased to receive such warm expressions of love from her neighbors and friends. The most difficult separation was from Deborah. By then Deborah’s children were adults and she had grandchildren all about her to care for and to love. Anna smiled at the joy of grandchildren, something she knew she would never be able to enjoy.

Even though Anna had made the journey from Nazareth to Jerusalem more times than she could count in the seven years since she delivered her precious daughter to God via the temple, on this particular trip Anna was aware that it would be her last. There was no reason to return to Nazareth and the travel was too difficult for an old woman like her. While bobbing up and down on the donkey which they kindly gave her instead of the camel because it was lower, her mind wondered to the last trip, only months before, which was Joachim’s last. He must have known it was his last trip, for he was so frail at the end. She wondered what he had been thinking and wished that they could have talked about their inner thoughts and feelings more so he could prepare her for her own journey to Sheol. “Oh Joachim, my Joachim, where are you now?”

ALIVE: Chapter 97, Joachim

The journey back to Nazareth had been as difficult as Joachim and Anna feared it would be. Joachim was not able to hold the reigns for so many hours at a time. Because of the monotony of the long ride home, from time to time he dozed off and his guardian angel had to wake him up lest he fall off the camel. Neither could he walk beside the camel for long. But with perseverance and compassion on the part of everyone from the leader of the caravan, down to the children who also had a hard time, after frequent rest-stops, they finally arrived in Nazareth.

Joachim and Anna were exuberant in their gratitude to their fellow travelers, as exuberant as they were exhausted. The porter relieved the other camels of the burdensome luggage and placed the bags on the cart, on which Joachim and Anna also perched themselves and were ferried to their empty home. 

Once inside, both Joachim and Anna plopped themselves on their bed, before washing, before prayer. They both fell into a deep sleep which lasted the rest of the day and throughout the evening and the night. 

Joachim and Anna awoke together at daybreak at the same hour refreshed, but wanting of a long warm bath. As fortune had it, their servant who had been watching the home came to the open window, welcomed them and asked if he could do anything for them. “Yes! Thank you, please fetch us water for a bath, plenty of water!” 

Anna looked in her jar relieved to find enough water there to boil for tea. She poured all the water she had into her largest pot. Then she built her kitchen fire and when the flames were just right, she set her largest pot on the grill hoping she had enough to heat the bath water when it arrived, and to make the morning tea. As she scurried around she thought about the blessing of water. If they had lived by the sea, they might have taken water for granted, but not in Nazareth. Their village well was the center of the community. Their precious well. 

Joachim prayed while waiting for breakfast. He was grateful that he had memorized so much of the Torah and the prayers in his youth. These words comforted him. They formed a life line to the Lord who had delivered him from so many perilous situations during his long life. The words also connected him with all of his people, his parents and grandparents, his friends and his enemies who prayed the same words through all the generations. The words united them with each other. 

When the servant returned with two large pails of water, they thanked him profusely and asked him to please pour most of it into the tub. After the servant departed, Anna poured her boiling water into the tub while Joachim stirred it and kept testing the temperature until it was just right. Then he filled the pot again for later. Anna bathed first so she would be able to make breakfast while Joachim bathed, and so he would have the luxury of more time to soak. The couple were so very happy to be in their cozy home again. 

Anna prepared a nourishing breakfast of gruel with honey and mountain tea, and set her table with her favorite cloth and the dishes that her mother gave her as if they were celebrating something more than their return from Jerusalem. 

Just as Joachim sat down to enjoy his gruel, they heard a knock on their door. Joachim stood slowly, still sore and opened it to find Deborah with a basket of eggs, a warm loaf of bread, and a jar of goat’s milk. She was so glad to see them back home safe and sound. “How was your trip? How is Mary? Tell me all about it, but not now. I will leave you with some food and in a day or two when you are ready, let me know and I will be back to hear it all.”

“Oh Deborah, thank you! What an angel you are.” said Anna walking up to the door to receive the treasure. “Yes, there is much to tell you later.” The ladies hugged and Deborah slipped away. 

That morning Mary woke up crying. Her soul was deeply grieved and yet she could not remember her dream and what made her so sad. She sat up for several minutes in bed trying to recall what it could have been. To shake it off and calm down, she got up and washed her face.

That day Mary prayed for her parents every chance she could. She sensed the difficulty of the journey back. Nazareth was so far from Jerusalem and her father appeared so weak. She began to feel badly that their love for her, and her own desire to be with them forced mama and papa to endure such hardship. 

Her guardian angel whispered in her heart that the hardship of the journey blessed her parents because it was for love, and that the Lord will reward them into eternity because they cared less for themselves than for their daughter. This suffering was the gift they offered to the Lord. Seeing her and enjoying their time together was the Lord’s gift back to them. Mary argued with this message in her heart because she only wanted her parents to be peaceful and comfortable. 

Five years later, when pregnant Mary was riding from Nazareth to Bethlehem on the ass, bobbing up and down and she was so uncomfortable, she recalled the many journeys of her elderly parents. It seemed to her on the donkey that her discomfort would never ever end. 

For seven years her old father and mother endured those awful camel rides until her father’s death, OH! Mary suddenly realized that, that his last journey, when he was so frail, could have been the cause of her father’s death!  

On that donkey, Mary realized that she was being given the opportunity to suffer as per parents had when they came to visit. The thought of sharing the same kind of suffering as her parents had removed the sting of the horrible ride to Bethlehem. Surely, the Lord allowed the discomfort of her ride for hours and hours with the baby in her womb kicking her and jostling within her to remind her of the sacrificial love of her own papa and mama and perhaps the sacrifice of parenting in general. 

As those thoughts flittered through pregnant Mary’s mind the angel hovering around her added, “Blessed Mary, your father rode to his death, but you are riding to the birth of his seed. The circle of life. The Lord is perfect in all His ways.”

...

Sewing class gave Mary more time to ponder than during any other hours of the day. The other classes taught her practicalities and the law. Whereas their calls to prayer developed within her the discipline of restricting her thoughts to worship. 

After breakfast, Joachim announced that he wanted to return to bed. Anna sympathized with her old mate, glad that she had recovered her energy and said, “Of course my beloved. Shall I fetch you another blanket?”

“Yes, please. I have a chill that feels like it is coming from deep within me.” His exhaustion came with the benefit of not thinking about Mary or his herd, or anything but his body’s need for sleep and warmth. 

Anna opened her trunk where she kept the blankets and pulled out two of them. She took them over to the bed where Joachim was waiting for her. He smiled at her and said, “Thank you my beloved. I won’t sleep for long.”

She spread one blanket over him at a time, and then tucked them all under both sides of him as a kind of hug from the blanket and then gave him a peck on the cheek. “Sleep sweetly. I will be quiet.”

Joachim replied, “I love you.”

Anna said, “Of course you do. Now sleep and I will prepare you a goat stew for supper. Would you like that?”

“Yes.” said Joachim and rolled over with eyes closed. Soon he was in deep sleep. The chills, the morning light, the morning sounds of children in the streets, the parents hollering to them from afar, chickens cackling, roosters crowing all dissolved in sleep’s silent darkness. Joachim woke up in a new world. His mother was there, his father standing behind her. Joachim approached them and said, “Is that you mother? Where have you been? I have been looking for you.”

“Never mind that child.” said his mother. “Let me look at you.” Then his mother inspected him but he wasn’t an old man. He was rather a very young man. “Oh my boy, you are as handsome as ever.” Then his father appeared and spoke up, “We have come to take you on a journey. It is time for you to leave.”

“I have been waiting for this.” strangely, Joachim had no sense of his body whatsoever, neither the sleepiness of it, nor the chills or soreness, nor the breathlessness. He felt light and real. Oddly, he felt more alert than ever. He was not afraid, but he wondered why not. He should be afraid, shouldn’t he? The place was so bizarre.

Joachim‘s guardian angels were proud of themselves for creating this comfortable illusion for him at God’s behest. They were told that Joachim was a very important man, but they didn’t know why. There had been nothing unusual about his life, or his manner that they could tell for which would he would rate such care. But they followed orders and gave the man time to adjust before his final journey to Hades. The angels removed all thoughts of Mary or Anna or his herds that would have pulled him back to the earth’s thin surface. 

“Come son. Follow us.” Suddenly Joachim was hiking up his familiar mountain huffing and puffing; the climb was harder than it had ever been before. He was following his father and his mother who seemed to be at ease, whose careful steps dodged rocks and roots. Higher and higher they went. But as he looked around for the horizon, instead it grew darker as if he was deep in the forest. He could barely see his parents anymore. Instead he came to a massive iron gate. He stopped in front of it and looked around. His parents were gone. Joachim knew that he was to be on the other side of the gate, but he didn’t know how to enter. Besides a massive lock, there were heavy chains tightly wrapped around the bars next to the lock.  By now fear gripped him. He squeezed his eyes shut and cried out, “My God, my God why have you forsaken me?” Joachim fell to his knees and covered his head with his arms becoming a large egg of a man. Demons circled around his head and shouted accusations of selfishness, of laziness, and even of murder. A big strong demon pushed his soul through the locked gate into the prison of Hades.

Inside was a human cage where all the souls of anyone who ever lived were held captive. Joachim saw shadows in the dim darkness of thousands of people. He heard weeping and screaming. He called out for his parents but as loud as he tried to yell, he couldn’t hear sound come from his own mouth!  Yet, he could move through the crowds.

A ghost like figure of a young man approached him. “Welcome my son. We have been waiting for you. Blessed are you among men. Joachim looked at this person with extreme curiosity. He said, “Who are you?” “I am David the shepherd boy become king.” Joachim could hardly contain his enthusiasm. “There are others who have been waiting for you.”

“Wait!” Before Joachim would let David take him through the crowd he said, “Who am I that you have been waiting for me?”  David replied, “We have been told by an angel to whom it was given the message of hope that your seed will release us from this prison of death.”

Astonished Joachim gasped and thought, then it’s true! But it doesn’t make sense. I have but one child and she will forever be a Virgin!” David replied, “I don’t know anything more. Come, your mother and father and many others are waiting to welcome you.” 

David and Joachim weaved through a crowd of souls milling around aimlessly. Back and forth around and around, with nothing to do. It looked to be a most disagreeable existence to Joachim. In one pocket of people Joachim instantly recognized his uncle Reuben who had died when Joachim was a young man of twelve. He loved his uncle who spent time with him playing ball and roughhousing. Behind him stood a curiously familiar young woman. “My son, my son!” “Grandmother?! Is that you? You are so young.” She replied, “My soul has always been young, it was just my body that grew old. Let me see you!” She gazed admiringly at her precious grandson, always so kind and helpful. Joachim hadn’t yet been able to see himself. Joachim was much younger than he was when he first went back to bed that morning after breakfast, but not as young as his grandmother. His grandfather entered and in desperation said to Joachim, “King David told us that you are blessed and that your seed will free us, but we don’t know how or when. Do you?” 

“Grandfather, one day I hiked up the mountain behind our field, you know the one. I fell asleep and then I heard a voice telling me that my seed will free us from Hades, but that is all it said, and I don’t see how that is possible since I have only one female child. We presented her to the temple when she was three years old and she wants to remain a virgin.” Joachim's grandfather looked disappointed and said. “My agony is surpassed by that of those who have been locked in here for hundreds of generations. I saw Noah once. I found him crying, “My dove, my dove, oh where is my dove! My blessed dove; how long have I waited for you to return with the olive branch in your beak!” So sad. You don’t want to know. But son, now that you are here, let us sit and wait together.” David interjected, “I will leave you.” David turned to Joachim and said, “Welcome my son.”

...

Anna let Joachim sleep because she knew how tired he was. She busied herself with cleaning; how dusty the home had become in her absence. Then she quietly left the house to shop and visit. She spent all day out in her village shopping and seeing people who stopped her to talk, and she spent a good while at Deborah’s home always conscious that she was letting Joachim get his much needed rest.

When she returned to her home at sunset Joachim was still sleeping. She heard his heavy breathing that erupted in snoring from time to time. She was prepared to make the goat stew but wondered if he would wake up to eat it. Anna decided to put it off because by then she was very tired too. It had been a long full day, rather than light a candle she decided to indulge herself by also going to bed early. She quietly undressed, put on her nightgown and slipped into their marriage bed next to her husband as she had every night for the past sixty years. 

Anna woke up at daybreak as usual. The roosters were crowing, and other birds chirped so loudly so that she didn’t notice until she looked closely at Joachim to see that he was pale and still. She touch his face and then his cold hard hand. He wasn’t breathing! ‘Oh my God!’

Joachim was dead. Anna was shocked. When did he die? After the shock settled into reality, Anna quickly got out of the death bed. She did not expect him to leave her so soon. He died so quietly and peacefully. As frightened and overwhelmed as she was, her first inclination was to kneel by him and covered his cold hard hand with her warm hand and pray. She knew she was unclean now that she had touched his dead body, but she didn’t care. This body was as her own, so familiar was every part, his fingers, his arms and legs. How sorrowful to lose it, as if she lost her own. 

She closed her eyes to reach deep into her spirit to look for him there. After a few dark empty moments she recited the prayers for the dead.

Then Anna arose and dressed quickly. She left the house and went to tell the village priest who lived in the temple East of her home. Although she walking so quickly and with determination, no one stopped to ask her if anything was wrong. There was no time for that, so quickly did Anna flitter by them. When she arrived at the temple Anna knocked on the door. She could hear activity on the other side of the door and she listened carefully for someone approaching. When the priest opened the door, Anna apologized for the early visit and announced stoically that Joachim had died. The rabbi immediately thanked her. His wife overheard and rushed to the door. She told Anna to come in and she would make some tea while her husband, immediately marshaled his men to remove the body, and to prepare it for burial before sunset. 

ALIVE: Chapter 96, The Last Hug

Anna smiled with maternal pride at her precious daughter who wanted to be the little mother of her community. From where did she get such instincts for she herself mothered Mary for only three short years, and of them they could converse with each other for one or two? Baby talk. Anna thought that with such a full and compassionate heart Mary would indeed become a good mother someday and hoped that she would have many children to love and care for.

Aloud Anna announced,  “I almost forgot to tell you! My sisters Mary and Zoia want to come to Jerusalem and visit you for the Passover next year. Of course their whole families will come. We must find rooms for them all while we‘re here.”

“How wonderful!” exclaimed Mary. “I’ll get to see Elizabeth and Salome again!”  Overjoyed at the prospect of seeing her cousins, Mary added, “They must be so grown up by now. How old was I the last time they came to Jerusalem?”

“Oh, I don’t know my dear. In fact, I don’t even know how old they are now.” replied Anna. Elizabeth is to be betrothed to a priest of the temple. I believe his name is Zacharias.”

“Oh, how nice! I hope they have many children together! I love children. They are so full of joy.” As she was saying that, Mary glanced at her father and suddenly felt a chill of grief because she noticed in that light that he appeared older and weak. She flashed her mother a look of curiosity and concern. Anna’s eyes caught Mary’s glance but her face was serene. Mary assumed that her mother must have already noticed how Joachim was failing and had become more familiar with this frail version of her papa.

Mary bowed her head and closed her eyes to silently pray for peace and strength for her papa. She loved him dearly. 

Meanwhile, Joachim was oblivious to this silent conversation between Mary, Anna, and the Lord. 

The angels hovering over them were weeping over the tragic need for human beings to die and become separated from those they love. Especially this little family who in their humility separated themselves from their treasured gift of a daughter. Such sacrifice. 

Gabriel spoke up and reminded the lower angels that even though Mary lived apart from her parents, she was and would always be theirs. Death never severs love, only bodies.

Yes, replied the lesser angels, but the decay of the body and impending death was something that even they, with all of their wisdom could not accept. They couldn’t imagine ever losing their angelic forms. What horror! Gabriel shrugged his angelic shoulders and flew away. 

“Let’s go for a walk.” said Mary. “Papa, is that okay with you?” Proudly puffing up his chest like a rooster Joachim replied, “Of course it is.” as he grabbed his cane to help him stand up. 

Mary smiled at her papa’s optimism and said, “Let’s go to the kitchen building and ask for a picnic lunch! Okay?”

Anna popped up and went over to stabilize Joachim. Then the little family left the comfort of the parlor and walked outside into the lush gardens. A gentle breeze passed by them as if hurrying to meet a lover and blew the ladies’ hair into their faces. Anna and Mary in syncopation brushed the hair out of their eyes.  On their way to the kitchen building the family passed the gardeners tending the ornamental flower beds, and the ones tending the herb gardens. Arriving at the kitchen Mary walked through the door first with an air of ownership and to any one of the busy cooks she announced, “Greetings!  May I have a picnic lunch for myself and my parents?” 

Anna and Joachim were proud at how cheerfully Mary was received by the cooks, with a cacophony of greetings. A short rotund woman with wide face and flushed rosy cheeks wearing a white apron smeared with the echoes of  many meals in the making walked up to the family and replied, “Anything for you my dear! So these are your parents, are they?!  Very pleased to meet you.” She wiped her hands on her apron and shook the hand of Anna. “ Don’t tell anyone I said this, but Mary is our favorite student. What would you like my dear? How about falafel wrapped in pita bread with hummus and some fruit?”

“Oh yes!” answered Mary cheerfully, “I love those. Three please!” 

“Okay darling, come back in an hour and your picnic will be ready.” The cook nodded and smiled at the parents. 

Anna and Mary thanked her in return and the trio departed. They all looked up at the sky for the position of the sun to note the time and when they should return, and then followed Mary who went down the path that led to the rose garden where there were benches, passing rows and rows of healthy ripening vegetables patiently waiting through sun and darkness, cold and heat for the knife to claim them for their purpose. 

The family arrived at the rose garden that Anna had looked forward to seeing again. The buds and blooms of pinks and reds were oh so lovely. “Let’s sit there” said Anna pointing to the larger concrete bench on the far side of the fountain.

“Okay” replied Mary and ran up to wipe it off with her hand, and then sat down and waited for her parents.

Anna was walking slowly near Joachim in case he needed her. She wondered how they would get him back up on the camel to return to Nazareth. 

When they reached the bench where Mary was waiting, Joachim was relieved and plopped down on the hard but welcomed surface. The trek from the kitchen to the rose garden was difficult and so the family sat in silence and contemplation. Anna prayed for strength and health for her beloved husband. She was only slightly younger than he, but he wore the years harder, perhaps for all the hard work, she thought.

In the silence of the holy rose garden the message flittered into Joachim’s mind about his seed freeing him from Hades and he looked across Anna at their daughter curiously. She was so full of life and joy. She didn’t seem to resent for a moment that he and her mother had sent her away to be raised by others. Joachim bowed his tired head and prayed that God’s perfect will be done in her life. 

Mary broke the silence to tell her parents something she had been thinking about for a long while. “Mama, papa I know that the reason you brought me here was to give me to the Lord.” Joachim and Anna nodded wide eyed in curiosity at what their little girl was going to tell them. “I have spent a long time worshipping the Lord, and like king David learning to trust him. I want to thank you for this life of mine, and .....” Mary started to fumble her words fearful that her parents may disagree with her announcement “I want to give my Lord and my God my whole life.” 

“Of course you do my darling” said Anna. “We all do.”

“What I mean to say is that I don’t want anything, or anyone to stand before Him in my life.....not even a husband.” 

Joachim became silently flabbergasted at that, as he wondered how, if she refused to marry, how the message about her seed could happen.

“Darling, you must do what you feel in your heart. Have you told the house mother this?”

“Yes, but she tells me that I must leave here when I am 14 years old as all the girls do. I will have to come home, and will need someone to care for me and to take care of. She told me about the nobility of motherhood. But, I can take care of you and papa there. I want to remain a Virgin forever.”

Too overwhelmed to speak, Joachim let Anna do all the talking.

“We have plenty of time to make such plans. If the Lord has taught you anything it should be to be patient, He will reveal His will to you. 

“Yes mama, I think He has. I have been observing the girls who grow up here. At fourteen they must leave the temple by law and be married. I have lost many friends, big sisters, through the years. When they come back to visit with their children, I see how they have changed, the world tarnished them with worries and conflicts. I don’t want that to happen to me.”

Joachim looked up at the sun for the time and assessed that an hour had gone by so he said, “Mary, my Mary. Run and pick up our lunch and bring it back.” “We will think better on a full stomach. Now go.” 

Mary looked up at the sun too, raised her arm to read its position confirming her father and replied, “Yes papa.” with that, Mary stood up and gave her papa a peck on his rough bearded cheek. She pivoted around and ran off.

“Oh my dear.” said Anna when Mary was out of hearing range. “This is her wish, and it’s true that we gave her to God, but how can she survive without a husband and especially without children. We can’t care for her forever from the grave. She is still very young.”

“My dear,” replied Joachim trying to calm them both down. “This is not the time to fret; didn’t she say that we who are in the world fret too much and that ...what did she say? It tarnished our trust.” 

Anna smiled at the notion that their young child was wiser than they, but she was not yet ready to let go of her concern that someday Mary would be all alone in the world with no one to love or care for her. 

In the full and active silence that ensued Joachim wondered more about the message and for the first time doubted himself. He considered that perhaps he was wrong in imagining the word about his seed. If she doesn’t marry and have children, there would be no one to carry forth his lineage. That would be a shame, thought Joachim. In fact, during all those childless years together kind Joachim never cared about his lineage as he did at that moment. It was not for himself alone, but Joachim deeply loved and honored his father and mother. He could feel them, their thoughts, their mannerisms alive inside of him, and their faith. How sad that such richness would perish from the earth with him, with Mary when she is his age and childless. Joachim shook his head as if to shake the thoughts out of it. What foolishness. What faithlessness. 

He looked up and broke the increasingly ugly silence by saying, “I’m very hungry now. Where is that little girl of ours with the falafel?”

As if on cue Mary was heard humming to herself and walking toward the rose garden.

Joachim and Anna stood up and walked over to the nearby fountain for their ceremonial hand washing before the meal.

“Ah my Mary! We thought you had gotten lost!” exclaimed her papa. 

“Here I am with a basket full. Who is hungry?” Mary set the basket down on the bench and went over to her parents at the fountain. 

At the fountain Joachim led the ceremony. He looked down, and said, “Let us bow our heads before the Lord to reflect upon His holiness and His generosity to us.” After praying silently for several moments, he added, “Let us purify our hands to touch the produce of this holy soil.” Then Joachim led his wife and daughter in the next step. Each of them took their turn to run their right hand under the water three times, and then their left hand three times. Joachim said, “Blessed are You Lord our G-d, Ruler of the universe Who has sanctified us with Your commandments and commanded us with hand washing.”

Then Joachim looked over to his holy child and asked her to recite the 23rd psalm. 

Mary solemnly with her head still bowed before the Lord, not speaking but in a melodious chant recited, ‘The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul...”

Joachim was so moved by her chant that his blue eyes filled with tears and he was grateful that his wife and daughter had their heads bowed so they would not see him this way. He surreptitiously wiped his eyes before Mary finished the psalm. The beauty of holiness, thought Joachim was more than a man in the world can contain. At that moment Joachim felt ashamed for his earlier doubt about the message. He wondered how old he had to be before he could abandon himself to the almighty wise and wonderful Creator. 

After her psalm Mary cheerfully went over to unpack her basket of goodies. “Look what they made us!” 

Joachim gazed at Mary as she was unpacking the basket to feed them, and noticed how mature Mary seems for her years. She was no longer the child he remembered her to be, but a young lady.  He sat almost in awe of his own daughter. He thought of how much he loved her, so much that he could feel his heart jumping out of his skin. How it grieved him to think he will soon leave her fatherless. But she is certainly a child of the Lord. He wondered how a girl, not a boy child could be so holy?

Anna shook him. “Joachim are you sleeping?”  

“No my dear, just thinking.”

Back in their room in the city that evening, Anna and Joachim agreed that the day together had been so wonderful and the weather so perfect. Sunny but not too hot. It was as if they were angels living in the presence of the Lord. They didn’t want the day to end. The setting of the sun was unwelcome, almost annoying. 

The next day they were allowed to take Mary into the City. She loved such excursions, to see all the people, the merchants and the children playing in the streets. Joachim felt stronger and younger that day. It seemed that he had forgotten to limp, although he clenched his cane with semi-conscious dependency. Being together within the city walls with all the activity and sounds activated the whole family as they joined in, chatting and admiring all the goods in the marketplace, jewelry, dolls, food. Stray cats scurrying at their feet. Anna found some beautiful fabric that Mary admired and they bought it together so that she could make a dress for Mary when she returned to Nazareth. Anna was so glad to have something to do for her during those quiet months away from each other. 

After a glorious week of parental love and admiration it was time for them to part. They had left Mary at the temple scores of times over the years, but a nagging sense hovering over each of them made the last moments too sad, that this would be the very last time Joachim and Mary would be together.

The caravan was to leave early in the morning, so after making all the necessary lodging arrangements for the sisters’ Passover Joachim and Anna went to the temple after supper to visit with Mary one last time. Upon entering the hallowed doors, the parents were greeted by the house mother who happened to be passing by the entrance. 

“We have come to say good bye to Mary. We will be leaving in the morning.” said Anna.

“Oh, I am so glad to have run into you like this. Let’s go into the parlor for a minute before I call her for you. Come.” And with that Joachim and Anna, curious about what Mother would have to say, turned and followed her down the dark corridors into the large empty parlor with many seatings. It was the time of evening prayers for the girls, but on that day Mother had been unable to attend for a reason other than running into Mary’s parents which was only known by the angels. 

Mother selected her favorite sofa and seating and with her hand guided Mary’s parents to the seats for them. Curious, the parents as if they were also her children obediently sat down. 

“You must know that Mary is a very special little girl.” started Mother.

“Yes, she is special to us.”

Your daughter is exceptionally humble and kind. She is of the age where we we begin to plan for their departure in their fourteenth year.

“Over the years here we have seen her blossom into a kind and compassionate  young lady who seems to radiate a special peacefulness, a yielding manner to God. Bringing her here was clearly right for her. She seems to bless us with her presence. She is so graceful. She tells us that she wishes not to marry, and we agree that the married life may not be right for her, but I don’t know if she will have a choice, and I wonder if you had already betrothed her?”

“But she is still so young?” said Joachim.

“This is the age where we must begin to make preparations for the next phase of life.” retorted the Mother.

Anna replied, “No, we have not betrothed her to anyone. And if she doesn’t want to marry, how can we? Where can a Virgin go?”

Mother answered, “She is so sweet, she teases with me often and tells me that she wants my job. But I am not so sure she would be suited to it, even in the far future. There are so many practical, administrative tasks in this role. The tasks would weigh her down and rob her of her, well, of the special piety and peacefulness that she exudes.”

I only want to ask you to think about who to betrothed her to. I know she doesn’t want this, but I see no other avenue for her. Just start thinking about it. I will get her for you now.” 

Mother seemed to be oblivious to the family dynamic that had been occurring all week, with the aging and increasing frailty of Joachim. This was not a subject that could be casually raised.

“Stay here and I will bring her. It was so good to see you again, and I’m glad we had this chance to talk. When will you return?”

“We are planning a family reunion here in Jerusalem for the Passover. My sisters and their families are coming from Bethlehem!”

“Oh, how nice. Well..” and with a handshake, Mother departed to fetch Mary.

Anna and Joachim waited in silence for their daughter to arrive. There was a lot to think about, and then again there was nothing to think about as they knew that God planned every moment of their lives, especially Mary’s to Whom she belonged.

Their daughter entered the room. They noticed that she had approached them with the appearance of one who at the same time is serene and sad. She first went over to her mother and hugged her, and then turned to Joachim into whose open arms she flew and they embraced each other with every ounce of their being. Both father and daughter fixed the moment in their hearts to retrieve whenever needed, to be reminded of their love for each other. Anna cherished their special bond. 

“Oh I am going to miss you so much papa and mama.” said Mary, as if in her heart she knew that this would be the last time she would see her beloved father while hoping her feelings were untrue. 

“I can’t wait to go home and start on your dress.” said Anna in her motherly attempt to give the somber moment a dose of worldly gladness. 

Echoing Anna’s attempt, Joachim added, “Now be a good girl and don’t give the Mother a hard time. Do whatever she asks of you.” He said that because he couldn’t think of anything else to say, that could be said aloud. His heart was in a torrent of emotion.

Mary intuited that and played along. “I will father, I promise.” 

“Now we must be off so your father can get a good night’s sleep. The journey is a difficult one. I love you. Big hug.”

Joachim knew that the following Passover he would be under the earth and not on top. He waited patiently for her to say good bye to her mother and when Mary came to him, Joachim gave his beloved daughter a very long hug, taking in a deep breath of her holy aroma, part human and part incense from the temple, to carry in his soul into Hades as a remnant of his most precious gift from God.

When Mary emerged from her father’s embrace Anna noticed a little tear spilling out of the corner of her eye and asked her what was wrong, as if she didn’t know. Mary replied, “I don’t know. I just love you two so much. Please take good care of papa for me. I will see you at Passover.”

Anna replied, “Alright, now you leave us and go to bed. I don’t think your father can leave you. Goodbye my dear. Learn well, pray for us. We will see you again soon.” Mary obediently turned and rushed off to her room to pray without looking back. 

Joachim and Anna walked away from the temple that contained their beloved daughter as they had for seven years. Only subconsciously each of them knew this wasn’t just another parting, and neither of them dared to speak of their hunch or to act as befitting occasion with wailing and weeping. 

The angels were the only ones who could silently cry. Gabriel appeared and chided them for being so short sighted. 

ALIVE: Chapter 95 Growing Up Holy

Anna woke up earlier than usual that morning, before the dawn, but try as she did, she couldn’t fall back to sleep so she got out of bed, lit her oil lamp, grabbed a pillow and went over to her chair covering her legs with the small woolen blanket, and sat comfortably and quietly. She thought of how Mary had blossomed over the years. She was still such a quiet and pensive child. The temple mother had watched over her so well, to make sure she learned the psalms and the law. Then Anna tried to recall the lessons little Mary had told her on their last visit.

 In her quiet hallowed home Anna filled her soul with worship. The bitter taste of the absence of her precious child had been supplanted by thick sweet honey knowing how well Mary was cared for. The Lord must have a reason in Mary’s own life for separating her from her natural mother, and giving her another mother, all the while knowing how very much Anna, as far away as she was, loved her. For truly Anna loved Mary and the Lord, more, much more than she cared for herself. How else could she endure the loneliness? It was true that the teachers in the temple could fill her young mind and heart with so much more peace and beauty than she could have in the world with its conflicts and demands. Anna contemplated what a life of service to God, of learning, and uninterrupted love and service to the Lord would be like. Pure gold.

 “Thank you Lord, for this moment.” In the candlelit darkness Anna’s soul, like rising bread-dough gradually, mysteriously, filled with gratitude. She whispered so as not to waken Joachim, “Blessed be God, and blessed be all his holy angels. May His holy name be blessed throughout all the ages. Though He afflicted me with childlessness, He has had mercy upon me. Now I have given to Him of what He gave me. My heart rejoices in Him. May He be glorified through the ages and may my daughter, His daughter, glorify Him all the days of her life, to sit in His temple and behold the wonders of His mysteries.” Anna wondered if perhaps her daughter would someday marry and give birth to a prophet. But she abruptly stopped that line of thinking. God will do what He wants and it is not up to me, thought Anna, ashamed to even entertain such thoughts.

Joachim’s louder snoring arrested her frivolous thoughts and pulled her back into the chilly room. Then his breathing sounded labored and Anna began to worry. He was getting old, she could see how he walked with a limp and was hunching over. Joachim had been such a strong young man, and now he is ripening like a soft sweet pear that has lost its grit.

The snoring stopped. Anna decided that her mind was wandering too much, so she tried to sit without words and watch the sun ever so gradually fill her room with light.

Peaceful silence was broken again by Joachim’s snoring, and since it was daybreak Anna stood up to start a fire and boil water.

As she went about the home tidying up and preparing breakfast Anna noticed that Joachim was sleeping much later than usual, but she didn’t want to wake him up, as she figured that he needed the sleep. He was close to his 80th year. How quickly the years had passed. She could barely remember their life before Mary, so much had the child filled their hearts and consciousness. Since they left her in Jerusalem they lived from visit to visit savoring the anticipation, and then the memories. How she had blossomed in the temple. How many years had it been? Anna struggled so to remember that she had to sit down and think hard. Of course she remember that Mary was only three, but how old was she now? A bird then perched itself on her window sill looking for the breadcrumbs that Anna often left there. She smiled at her little feathered friend, glad for someone else to feed. As she went to her breadbox to sweep the crumbs for the bird, she thought of king David and how it angered the Lord when he counted the soldiers in his army. What do the years mean anyway? Silly me. What does time mean to God? Come little bird, here is your breakfast. Just as she set the crumbs on the sill she heard Joachim rise. And so her day was to begin again.

Joachim entered the room his long white hair all messed up and bedclothes rumpled and asked, “When is it that we are going to visit Mary? I forgot.”

Anna smiled at her old man. “Good morning! In a few days, after Shabbat my dear. Now wash up. What would you like for breakfast?”

That was a joke because every morning for their sixty years together as one, Joachim sipped his cup of mountain tea and ate two rusks and an egg for breakfast. In season he also ate a few figs. As she scurried around the kitchen space Anna thought about the rhythm of the repetition of the days, how morning follows morning as if there is only one that never ends. How her life had taken a turn; she never could have anticipated these quiet days when she was a young girl like her Mary, but with sisters. How she missed her sisters Zoia and Mary. Perhaps one day they could meet her in Jerusalem to visit Mary. Perhaps their daughters Elizabeth and Salome would come too, maybe at Passover. Enough thinking, she thought.

“Joachim, your breakfast is on the table my love, come.”

Joachim shuffled into the room and sat down. “Anna, do we have honey? I think I want some this morning.”

“Yes dear, remember last month Moishe brought us a jar from his farm. I will get it.”

“Anna, I dreamed about my mother and father again last night. This time I was a boy out in the fields looking for snakes and both of my parents were calling me as if I was lost and they were desperate to find me. I could see them but they couldn’t see me.  I called back but they couldn’t hear me, and then their voices turned into Mary calling for me, I tried to holler to tell her where I was, but sound didn’t come out of my mouth, I couldn’t even hear myself, and then I woke up. I don’t feel well Anna.”

“You will be fine Joachim. We will go to see Mary soon and you will perk up.” Anna said that, but as she looked at her husband, she noticed another degree of weakness in him.

Joachim’s blue eyes grew wet and hazy as he stared into the air. “Yes. I will see Mary and feel better.”

“Perhaps you should go visit your shepherds this morning. It’s been several days, and I will finish making this dress for her soon. Okay?”

 

After eating his breakfast Joachim left the house without thinking to say good bye to Anna so deep in thought was he. Instead of going to his field, he was drawn to hike up the nearby mountain to hear God as Moses did.

 He only made it part of the way and found a ledge that he decided would have to suffice. Sitting on the ledge he surveyed the valley beneath him and the sheep and cows grazing. The sun was rising higher in the cloudless sky beating its rays down on him to warm his old bones. So tired from climbing was he that he laid down on the warm rock and closed his eyes. He soon dozed off. When he opened his eyes again the sun was already past high noon. He was in the middle state between asleep and awake. The quiet of the mountain pleased Joachim. He was still lying on the rock gazing at the sky when he heard words. He couldn’t discern whether the sound came into his ears from outside or up through his heart; it was a very distinct message. Joachim heard, “Your seed will deliver your soul from Sheol and you will live with Me forever.” The message was short and clear, but he had no conception of what it could mean?

 Joachim sat up alert for more words that didn’t come. He surveyed the valley beneath him and then mustered the energy to descend. While making his way back down Joachim could not forget the message, neither could he meditate about what it meant while searching for a stable place to land each foot lest he fall with no one to hear his cries.

As for the strange message, Joachim wanted the right time and place to think about it. Descending the mountain was more difficult than the climb. He was continually trying to keep from sliding on the dusty earth and falling, even with the aid of his walking stick. The hot sun made him feel dizzy. He needed water. “Oh this old carcass, how long must I endure your feebleness?” said Joachim to himself. If Joachim had been aware of his guardian angel helping him every step of the way, he wouldn’t have been so anxious. When he reached the foot of the mountain, he didn’t even pause, but went straight to the well for refreshing water.

After quenching his thirst Joachim walked over to the temple to sit before going home.

Inside, the temple was dark and cool and empty. The young men were out in the fields or at their work in the village.

While sitting in the cool room he got the sense it would not be long before he would join his parents in Sheol. The vale between life and death was becoming more opaque, to the point that he couldn’t remember who was still alive and who had passed on of his friends and relatives. His mother and father visited him more frequently. They weren’t always memories or dreams, their visits were something else. He felt their presence. Are they coming to take him?

He wondered whether this next visit to Mary would be his last. As he walked home Joachim looked down at the dusty hard ground and for the first time regarded the earth as his true home, where his old bones would rest until the earth is no more. He felt no fear. He was grateful for his life, and for his wife and daughter, and he prayed in thoughts that the Lord would care well for them in his absence. Yes, sending Mary to the temple, as much as it grieved him and still does, Joachim knew that the separation was right. That Anna was wise to give her up.  Her precious life would not be changed when he died. Hopefully their love for each other would be as strong, if not stronger in his absence. Perhaps he would still be able to visit her and watch over her. But Anna. Oh my Anna, all these years....

 With that thought Joachim found himself at his front door again.

 “You have been gone all day! Are you okay my dear? Come inside and let me feed you. Let’s wash our hands together. Supper is ready.”

Joachim smiled at how oblivious she was to the reality that he had been facing. He wanted it that way. Let the Lord prepare her as He did himself.

Finally, the day came when Joachim and Anna were to take their journey to Jerusalem and to the big Temple to visit their little girl. She was just ten years old. Every time they went she looked so different. She grew so fast. And yet she was still the same pensive sweet Mary they gave birth to and they loved with all their hearts and souls. Now that sweet child was being filled with knowledge of the Lord, of the psalms, and of the law. They were so impressed by her depth and her humility for such a young person. They wondered what they would find, how much Mary will have blossomed this time.

 Perched on their own camels in the caravan it was impossible to speak but Joachim had so much to say to Anna. It was difficult for him to stay upright on the camel. He was worried that he wouldn’t be able to make the trip again. Without visits to Mary he was as already dead.

While bobbing up and down on the camel, Joachim was reminded of the message by his extreme thirst like that of that day on the mountain. But this time he had a skin of water with him. He just needed the caravan to stop so he could take a drink. Still thirsty he spent the hollow time of travel thinking about the message of his seed and deliverance. He didn’t dare tell the priest, or any priest of the great temple for fear of being stricken down and sharply reprimanded for entertaining heretical notions. Instead, he wanted tell Anna. She wouldn’t chide him, and she might even be willing to talk about it with him. He wondered what she would think of it. No. He changed his mind. It was too strange, too boastful to even imagine such a thing. He had better not fill her mind with such notion of eternal life, whatever that meant. Besides, they only had one child, and a girl at that. No. He would keep the message to himself. If it was true that his soul could be delivered from Sheol, then he would be patient and wait, yes wait in hope that it is true, but he would tell no one.

At that moment the leader of the caravan rang his bell to indicate that they could stop and rest and drink their water. Joachim rolled off the donkey as an old man or a child would. But he landed on his feet and went straight for the skin of water, lifted it to his parched mouth and took five large swallows.

“You must have been might thirsty!” exclaimed Anna. “My turn.” And she reached her hand out for the water skin.

“I was.” replied Joachim handing her the pouch which was much lighter. “How much farther before we stop for the night?”

This had been the most difficult of all the trips the elderly couple had taken during the seven years that Mary lived in the temple. They tried to come often, every few months, but even Anna wondered how Joachim could make it. Perhaps, she thought, they should move to Jerusalem to be near her and if permitted, they could visit more often.  Anna kept this idea in her heart to discuss at the right time with Joachim.

When they finally arrived after the most arduous journey and settled in the room of the boarding house that had become so familiar, Joachim went directly to the bed and slept without even washing the dust off his body.

Meanwhile, Anna unpacked and left Joachim to sleep while she walked round the marketplace. It felt good to be off the camel and to stretch her legs.

 

The following morning the couple woke up together and quickly dressed to not waste a moment before being with their daughter.

Mary ran straight to her father and gave him a long hug. Tears whelled up in his old blue eyes, that he shut to feel her youth and her beauty and her joy. How she loved her father. He wasn’t worthy of such love. How could he be? Nevertheless, if it was the love of God that poured through this lovely young girl, then it was the strength of love itself, and that, he could accept. That love has a substance of its own, its own power, it’s own reality beyond the human heart, but is it a power that is as another of Gods creations, or is it a spit of God’s own essence?

As he observed Mary and Anna chatting cheerfully Joachim looked at his daughter and sensed that she would carry the whole world on her shoulders. How could this possibly be? He looked at his adorable ten year old, at the brink of her passage out of childhood and wondered if this notion was a gift, or was it perhaps a prophecy? He shook his head ruffling his white hair to rid himself of such speculations. Mary look curiously at her father. “What is it papa? Are you alright? May I get you something?”

“I am fine my darling. It is so good to be here with you. Tell me what you learned this week.”

 “Well!” replied Mary merrily, let me show you what I did! I’ll be right back!” She ran to her bed and opened the chest at the foot of the bed, found her embroidery and pull it out, messing the rest of the items to tidy up later. Then she ran back to her papa and showed him the most colorful embroidered cloth. “See! I did this all myself!”

“Anna looked on admiring her daughter’s handiwork and said, “I am sure that I couldn’t do any better!”

“Thank you mama. Papa do you like it?”

“Of course I do my dear. I have never seen such a colorful design. It looks like a field of summer flowers. How long did it take you to make this?”

“Oh! I’m not even finished yet. I want to give it to my friend Ruth who is an orphan. I’m her mother!”

Anna and Joachim smiled at each other and then looked over at Mary. Anna said, “How kind of you. Is Ruth a little girl like you were when you first arrived?”

“No mama,” replied Mary, she is much older and she is about to leave and be married, but she still needs a mother, and I will always be her mother.”

ALIVE: Chapter 94 The First Day

November 21st marked the day that Joachim and Anna will never forget. It was the day they left their baby girl at the temple to be raised by others. The first week was by far the most difficult. It was as if their precious little girl had left her spirit behind. As she went about her chores Anna kept feeling that Mary was simply in the other room, so accustomed she was to the presence of her baby. When she went to prepare her meals, she no longer needed to be mindful of what Mary liked to eat. Even her breasts swelled and ached although she had tried to wean her toddler gradually, and only nursed at bedtime, so reluctant was she to separate from her precious child. Every such thought was another little arrow that pierced her heart. But with every arrow, Anna fought back by praising the Lord for the years they had, and for the ability to visit.

 As difficult as the first weeks were for Anna, Joachim may have been even more sorrowful for this little girl was truly the light of his life. He often mused that there was something very special about her, perhaps that she reminded him of his own mother in a strange way, the look of admiration she caste on him with her striking eyes, or the shape of her smile. No, it wasn’t physical, he thought, it was something else. Joachim said to himself that surely all fathers must think this of their little girls, but he couldn’t stop thinking that this baby, this gift of God, was the most blessed, most glorious little girl in all the world, perhaps of all time. Oh, shameful to say, even in thoughts to himself, but he loved her and she loved her daddy so very much. It broke his heart to be away from her, to only have the memories of cuddling with her in the family bed. There was one day when he held her as an infant and she was so still in his arms, so very still. She was not asleep, but a sensation of deep and blessed peace fell upon him. She radiated peace into his soul. That moment was seared into his mind so that he could still feel it, even now, even miles of years away from that moment.  He who had never known how profound it would be to be a father, relished the role as protector and teacher, provider and guide. No one in the world looked up to him as did this little person. He had loved to have her sit on his lap, and he would tell her stories from his own boyhood. She listened so intently as if she needed to know every aspect of who her papa was and about his own childhood. Joachim knew those days were over, so prematurely and so abruptly. As if in an instant he felt that he had been devalued and devoid of the joy of his life. Joachim was ashamed before God for having these feelings. He slowly became resolved to this new chapter in his life, to looking forward to their visits. What could he bring her?

On her first night in the temple the house mother knew that little Mary needed comforting. She was a lovely and brave little girl, quiet and curious. She didn’t even cry when her parents left as so many of the children do, but this little girl humbly accepted the separation. Observing the new little girl at supper, wearing the expression of one who was as displaced as she was, she decided to mother her as her own. Oh yes, as a house mother she had through the years so many girls pass through the hallowed door of the temple. Some boisterous, some quiet, some mischievous, other cooperative, but this new little girl, just past her babyhood, with no siblings, and elderly parents was unique in some inexplicable way. Mary was unusually pensive for such a small child. She wanted to build an attachment so that Mary would be content in her new home with her new sisters and her new mother.

 “Mary, after supper, I’d like you to come to my apartment, okay? Ruth, please show her where it is.”

 “Yes, mam.” said the sweet slightly scared child.

 Ruth looked down at Mary to comfort her and cheer her up, because she had perceived that the child’s countenance had fallen again, she added very cheerfully, “Oh Mary, how lucky you are to be able to visit mother’s apartment so soon! You will love mother; she is so kind, and her apartment is so cozy. What a treat!”

 Mary looked up and smiled, “Okay.” and then returned to her plate of bread and fish, and hummus.

 When they were finished eating, the house mother stood followed by the girls around the long table. They bowed their heads to hear mother thanking God for his bounty and asking that they serve Him and worship Him well with their health and strength. When she finished the thanksgiving prayer, the girls added “Amen” and chanted a hymn with their lovely soprano voices. Moments of holy silence followed as each girl gave a personal prayer. Ruth broke the silence to say, “Come Mary, let’s go.” Obediently and somewhat stoically the reserved little girl followed the big girl out of the dining room and through a series of corridors until they reached a wide carved wooden door in the corner of the temple dormitories.

Ruth knocked gently on mother’s door. But there was no answer as mother hadn’t yet arrived from the dining hall, so the girls sat on the floor beside the door and waited for her.

“How long have you lived here Ruth?” asked Mary timidly. “Where are you from?”

“I was born in Jerusalem. My parents came here from Galilee to find work. My mother died of a terrible sickness when I was seven years old and my father couldn’t take care of me so he sent me here, but then last year he died too.” Drawn back into her anguish Ruth hesitated to say anything more.

Mary became very sad too, but grateful that her parents were still alive, and she could see them again. Mary scooted closer to Ruth and worked her way into the big girl’s lap. Ruth received her with a hug, and then Mary said the strangest thing. She said, “I will be your mother.” Ruth smiled at the little doll, hugged her back and replied, “That’s a deal! But don’t scold me too much!” The girls giggled together and then heard mother’s footsteps walking down the corridor.

“Hello girls, thank you Ruth. You may go to sewing class now. “Yes mam.” said Ruth with a curtsy and then a hug for Mary who tumbled out of her lap as she stood to leave. Ruth turned and disappeared into the long dark hall.

“Come inside darling.” said mother as she opened her door into a beautiful light-filled room with ornate carpets and comfortable-looking furniture. “This has been quite a day for you, hasn’t it? Would you like a fig?”

“No, thank you.”

“Please call me mother.”

At that, Mary was reminded of her mommy and the corners of her mouth dropped.

Mother noticed and said, “Let’s sit down together my dear and let me tell you a true story.”

Little Mary followed mother to her divan and climbed up to sit beside her. The two ladies faced each other, and mother began.

“Once upon a time a man named Elkanah had two wives. One wife had many children, but the other one had none. Her name was Hannah. Hannah was very sad. What made it worse was that the other wife was often mean to her because she was barren. One day they went to Shiloh to offer sacrifices to the Lord. Hannah begged God to give her a child.  She whispered, almost inaudibly, “O God of Israel, Lord of hosts, if only you will look on the misery of your servant, and remember me, and not forget your servant, but will give to your servant a male child, then I will set him before you as a Nazirite until the day of his death. He shall drink neither wine nor intoxicants, and no razor shall touch his head.”

When Eli, the priest, observed her mouth moving and heard no sound, he thought she looked as if she had had too much wine and scolded Hannah. She replied, “No, my Lord, I have had no wine, I am praying for a child.” And then she wept because she was so sad and desperate. Eli had compassion on poor Hannah and he promised her that God heard her prayer and that indeed after a year she would be with child. Hannah left the temple feeling content. Indeed, she gave birth to a beautiful baby boy whom she named Samuel, and whom she loved very much, just like your mother loves you!  Hannah was so very grateful that she said to husband, “As soon as the child is weaned, I will bring him that he may appear in the presence of the Lord, and remain there forever; I will offer him a Nazirite for all time.”

Her husband agreed but said that she had to wait until after he stopped feeding from her breasts, just like you. So, when her precious little boy who was your age went to live at the temple with Eli and his sons, just like you!”

Mary was fascinated by the story and wanted to hear more. Mother sensed her interest and continued.

“One night, years after he went to live in the temple with Eli and his sons, little Samuel was in bed and he thought he heard the priest Eli call him, so he got up and went to see what he wanted. Eli replied that he didn’t call him and told him to go back to bed. Samuel went back to bed and heard his name called again. He got up again and went to Eli, but again, Eli told Samuel to go back to bed. For the third time he heard his name called and for the third time Samuel got out of bed and went to see what Eli wanted. This time Eli perceived that it was the Lord God who had been calling Samuel so Eli said to Samuel, “Go, lie down; and if he calls you, you shall say, ‘Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening.’” So, Samuel went back to his bed, this time to hear what the Lord wanted to say to him.”

Mary’s eyes opened wide wondering what the Lord wanted to say to Samuel.

Mother went on. “The Lord told Samuel what would happen to Eli and his sons. It wasn’t good. The next morning Eli asked Samuel what God told him. Samuel was afraid to tell Eli the bad news, but Eli insisted, and Eli accepted the word from God. And that was the story of the child Samuel who became a great prophet of the Lord!”

Mother looked cheerfully at Mary whose face suddenly glowed with a big smile and rosy cheeks.

As Samuel grew up, the Lord was with him and let none of his words fall to the ground. And all Israel knew that Samuel was a trustworthy prophet of the Lord.

Our Lord used Samuel to appoint the king of Israel when the people demanded a king so they could be like their neighbors. Samuel, by the guidance of God selected King Saul, and then King David, your great great grandfather! You see my dear when the mother, like Hannah and your blessed mother gives her child to the Lord to be raised, it is very special because God needs and wants people here on earth to do His will and His work. It is a very great sacrifice for mommies and daddies to give their child, God knows this. He knows how much your daddy and mommy miss you and you miss them, and that sadness is turned to gold by the Lord, because it is the gold of Love and Trust and He blesses the mommy and the child.”

“Did God bless Hannah?”

“Yes, my dear, Hannah was blessed with many more children.”

“Did Samuel’s mommy and daddy visit him?”

“Yes, they went to visit him every year and brought him new clothes.”

“Will my mommy have more children too?”

“I don’t think so my dear. Your mommy is much older than Hannah was.”

“Will God use me to do something special for Him?”

“I can’t say Mary. That is not something to think about now. All we want to do here is to learn and love. Now are you ready for a fig?”

“Yes mother.”

Mother got up from the divan and walked over to her cupboard still thinking about the prophet Samuel and how difficult it must have been for him, and for this precious young child to be separated from their own mothers. As she reached for the bowl of sweet ripe figs a flash of light like a tiny lightning bolt zipped passed her eyes and vanished. At first this phenomenon startled her, but as the moments passed and nothing else happened, she quickly returned to select the largest juiciest fig for her new little daughter, and one for herself.

Mary had not seen the light. She was looking around the large room curiously. It was the most majestic room she had ever seen. In her precious young heart, sitting in mother’s room and hearing about Samuel, Mary got the first inkling that she belonged there and that it was okay to be separated from her parents. She looked over at mother walking towards her with a loving smile and the fig and felt a strange sense of peace. She was no longer sad nor scared.

“Come let’s eat them together. This one is called an egg-fig because it is the shape of an egg. Would you like me to peel it for you?”

“Yes please.” replied Mary.

As she was peeling, Mother said, “There are so many wonderful things you will learn here. We will teach you to sing and to sew, and to tell the stories of the Torah. There are so many stories that teach us about God’s s love for people and His plan for his people Israel.”

Mother looked down at the fig and over at the precious child in front of her and thought how little Mary, only three years old, was as pure and fresh as this ripe fig. A droplet of the white milk of the fig brought to mother’s mind Mary’s mother’s milk that so recently nourished the child with her self-sacrificing love and gratitude to her Lord. As she peeled away the tender green skin of nature, she uncovered the fleshy white layer as the look of the soft boiled egg, a symbol of new life, appeared and splitting it in half mother handed Mary one half at a time of the sweet juicy red flesh of the fig.  So, mother perceived in this child layer upon layer of delight, of discovery, and of life. She was so grateful to have the role as mother to so many young girls, some of them orphans, some from impoverished families, and of course from time to time, a child comes along who is given as a gift to God. The young ones were indeed the most precious and taught her the most about love and trust. Surely to be a child that loves, and trusts the Lord must be perfection.

Mary received the peeled fig and as she bit into thought it was the sweetest fig she had ever eaten in her whole life. “Mmmmm good!”

Mother nodded then slightly shook her head out of the daydream and smiled at the little girl whose whole demeanor had brightened. Mother knew at that moment that she had succeeded in welcoming the little lamb into her fold.

“Now Mary, when you finish your fig, let’s walk over to meet Lady Elizabeth who will teach you how to sew! Would you like that?”

“Okay. Can I come back and visit you again?”

“Oh yes, of course my dear child. I am your mother here. We will have many visits as you grow up. Now, let’s be off. I think Lady Elizabeth looks forward to meeting you.”

Mary took mother’s outstretched hand and together they walked out of the apartment while Mary wondered that perhaps she could be happy in this place even if her parents were far away. In a subliminal non-verbal flash the young child realized that she didn’t have to see her mommy and daddy to know how much they loved her and wanted God’s will, not their own, for her. And how maybe, God’s will was far better, bigger and richer than what she wanted, which was to live forever with her mommy and daddy in their little home in the village. It was a glimpse of the possibilities of life that the little child received with that visit; it was a door cracked open pouring sunlight into a dim corridor.

That night as mother lay in bed waiting for sleep to come, she was reminded of the flash of light she saw and she wondered about it. How it must have been uncreated light since it didn’t come from the sun or a candle. Was it a spit of the uncreated light of the first day? But where did it come from, and why? Perhaps it was a message from God. This had never happened before. Mother tried to silence her heart to listen for an explanation and soon fell asleep.

On Mary’s first night sleeping in the big dormitory surrounded by beds with other girls, she clutched her stuffed doll. Her mind was spinning from all the brand-new experiences of the day. Strangely, her little heart felt at peace. When she imagined going back to her village and her parent’s little home, it wasn’t with yearning at all. She felt that she had crossed a great chasm, maybe like the Red Sea, into a new big world. She thanked God in her heart for guiding her into His temple and then gently fell into a deep dreamless sleep. She thanked God too for her new mother. Her guardian angel smiled with pride and joy that the transition went so well. The angel too looked forward to the years ahead where the angel would shield this princess of God from the evils of the world, along with the mother and with the help of all the heavenly host angels, together they would see to that.  

 

 

 

 

 

ALIVE, Chapter 93 The Gift

When the little family arrived in Jerusalem, Joachim first secured a room where they could sleep that night, and the next night, after they settled their precious little girl in the competent hands of the nuns. The donkey’s owner wished the family well as he went in search of more business. Joachim, Anna, and Mary rested in their room long enough to become very hungry. 

The bustling big city was a maze of activity open to exploration. Merchants selling anything a person could want were scattered everywhere. Joachim followed the aroma of grilled skewered meats, and little Mary asked her papa for ripe figs. After supper, they walked to the Temple to show Mary the grandeur of it. Little Mary’s eyes opened wide to see such a large building. There was nothing like this in Nazareth. 

“This will be your new home, a palace for the princess!” said Joachim. 

Mary was in awe. “Can we go inside?” 

“Not now my dear. They aren’t expecting us until morning. Let’s go back and sleep now. It’s getting late and I am so tired.”

“Okay,  mommy. Papa, pick me up!” Joachim bent down and lifted up his little girl with some struggle, but glad for the pain of it and storing that precious pain in his heart as a gem he hoped to find and admire some lonely days in the future. 

At sunrise the next morning, the family awoke naturally and washed and dressed little Mary in her finest white frock. Anna produced some yoghurt she had bought in the city the night before. After breakfast father and mother each took a hand of their precious little girl to walk her back to the big temple. Mary was enthusiastic to see what the temple looked like inside. Joachim and Anna meanwhile each clenched their sadness lest it show on their faces.

By the time they arrived the outer doors to the Temple were open for morning prayer. A woman in her forties who had been sitting at the entrance waiting for them rushed over to greet the family with a big smile that joined her two flushed dimpled cheeks; a patch of light brown hair peeked out of her head covering and brushed against her laughing green eyes.

“So this is Mary, we have so looked forward to meeting you darling. Welcome to your new home. I am your house mother. You may call me Mother. So pleased to meet you!” The new mother reached out her big hand to hold the little hand of Mary who looked up at her cheerfully. The house mother immediately felt the warmth and love that emanated from this precious little girl and thought to herself, “Tomorrow, when you know me better, you’ll get a hug. What a sweet sweet child.”

Mother ushered Mary and her parents to the dormitories where ten girls of different heights and ages, looking like a mountain range from afar stood beside their ten beds. In a cacophony of greetings, each girl welcomed sweet little Mary to her new home.

The house mother showed Mary her place, in the middle of the row. The quiet servant was relieved to deposit her trunk at the foot of the wooden bed, and then withdraw.

After a tour of the temple, and a community prayer service, the family was treated to lunch with all the girls. Joachim and Anna were a little surprised at the silent quietude in which they dined, and their perfect table manners. The parents were pleased to be assured that this was the environment they wanted for their precious daughter. It was peaceful, dignified, and reverent. A bud could blossom beautifully under such conditions. 

Following the meal, the house mother stood to dismiss the girls to their classes. Then she asked Joachim, Anna and Mary to come to her office for parting words, after which the parents with forced cheerfulness gave their little a girl a big hug, and bid her good bye, promising to return for a visit the following month.

Joachim and Anna rushed back to their room where they wept in each other’s arms for quite a while. Being without Mary for the first time in so many years was almost more than they could bear. Their cheerful little girl. Yes, but this was the sacrifice. She was always God’s daughter. He would take good care of her, and they would be back. They had to get used to living without her.

At the temple the other girls were very kind to their new little sister Mary who was no more than a toddler away from home forever. Each of them in her own heart remembered the fear and loneliness of the first days away from home. But for her part Mary tried to be brave. She had always been a quiet little girl, especially since she had no brother or sister to play and fight with. 

The house Mother who was relieved that this child did not make a crying screaming scene as so many of the other littlest children did. She paired Mary with one of the older quiet girls as she perceived that Mary was quite timid. “I want you to watch over Mary and help her to feel at home here.” 

“Yes  mother.” replied ten year old Ruth. And to Mary she said, “Let’s go to the farm! Oh Mary, this is such a beautiful big home and you will learn so much here!” Mary looked up and smiled while she suddenly realized that her parents were gone and not coming back for her. This realization, that washed away her enthusiasm about her new school caused her to yearn for them. Ruth sensed the sadness and exclaimed , “Come see the animals!” Pointing to the barn in the distance, and then grasping Mary’s hand the big and little girl together ran to find solace.

“Animals!” thought Mary. What can they be?” Ruth led Mary into the barn with its own fenced in yard behind it. There she saw domesticated pheasants whose plumes they spread open to show off and dazzle the little human. Small white and brown puppies, only six weeks old were running about from stall to stall as if playing hide and seek with each other. An old giant ox lay chewing his cud, while a large stall filled with little goats quietly meandered around their space waiting to be released into the field to munch again. White doves, like masters of the barn flew overhead overseeing it all. 

“Is this like Noah’s ark?” asked Mary. “My mama told me all about Noah!” exclaimed the little girl, shy no more. 

Ruth was pleased with herself that she was able to cheer her up.. 

The girls heard the ringing of the bell calling them to prayer.

“Come Mary, it’s time to pray!”

Mary was accustomed to praying with her mother. Her little legs had to go twice as fast to keep up with Ruth as they rushed to the temple, running towards the sounds of the bells. 

Entering the temple prayer room Mary found chairs placed in two rows in a large circle, Ruth lead her to her chair in the front row and sat beside her.

“Girls,” said a different house mother, from a different dormitory standing in the middle of the circle said, “I want to introduce you to our new sister Mary.”

Twenty four girls of different ages, from littlest Mary to biggest smiled. Three girls stood up from their seats in the circle and went over to welcome little Mary with a hug and returned to their seats. Mary looked beyond them to recognize some of the girls from her own dormitory and her own house mother smiling at her. 

The new house mother began, “Now let us pray. Elizabeth, please recite Psalm 50.”

The young girl took a deep breath to compose herself. Looked up for help, and then said slowly, “Have mercy upon me, o God according you your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my transgressions and cleanse me me from my sin.” Elizabeth stumbled to search for the next line. Hummed and said “um thou God of my salvation. Ummm “In Thy great goodness, hear me and have mercy. For had you desired sacrifice I would have given it Thee. Thou desires not sacrifice..”

“No no Elizabeth.” admonished the mother, “This evening you will go back and study the psalm and tomorrow be prepared to recite it all properly.” Poor Elizabeth was sullen that she couldn’t remember the psalm and began to pout.”

“Who is next?”

“May I recite Psalm 84?” 

“Yes, Debby. Proceed.”

With her very sweet and melodic voice ten year old Debby looked up as did Elizabeth and with confidence recited the words she had studied so hard, “How lovely is your dwelling place, O Lord of hosts! My soul longs, indeed it faints for the courts of the Lord. My heart and my flesh sing for joy to the living God.”

At hearing that all the girls small and big smiled from the warmth of joy that emanated from their hearts. Even little three year old Mary looked around at all the beaming faces and joined hers to the bouquet.

Unaware as she struggled to remember the lines, Debby added, “Even the sparrow finds a home, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may lay her young....at your altars...o Lord of hosts, my king and my God. Happy are those who live in your house, ever singing your praises!”

“That is enough for now Debby. Very good. We will give someone else a chance. Who can take it from there?”

Eager hands shot up. The house mother selected the youngest to give little Mary a model she could relate to. Mary for her part was very impressed with how the girls could  memorize the words and the purity that came out of their hearts.

“Okay, Abby, let’s hear from you.” said the mother pointing to a sweet young girl with freckles and bright red hair. 

Abby cleared her throat, and then stopped to think of where to pick it up and said, “Happy are those whose strength is in you, in whose heart are the highways to Zion.  As they go through the valley of Baca they make it a place of springs; the early rain...ummm.  O Lord of hosts, hear my prayer; give ear, O God of Jacob!  For a day in your courts is better than a thousand elsewhere.”

Ignoring the missed lines, the mother stopped Abby and said,”Girls let’s recite the next lines all together. One two three...”

A symphony of lovely voices chimed in, “I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than live in the tents of wickedness. For the Lord God is a sun and shield. And He bestows grace and glory. No good thing does the Lord withhold from those who walk uprightly. O Lord of hosts, happy is everyone who trusts in You.” 

The girls all ended abruptly watching the conductor of their souls and bowed their heads as if told do so. 

There was silence for several minutes as the girls knew to contemplate the words of the psalm. Mary, whose tender and compliant soul immediately perceived the conductor, bowed her head too. A little tear trickled from her eye. She didn’t know if it was a tear of joy or sorrow. But she understood at that moment why her parents sent her to this place.

Silence was broken by the mother who announced. “Now girls I have received many prayer requests from the people in the world. Let us pray for them.”

Their worship service took on a new light. The light that struggles to shine through the crevices in the dark masses of suffering. “I will begin and as usual, don’t hesitate to offer your requests as they come to your hearts.” For in this the mother was teaching her pupils how to listen to their hearts and how to serve the world from which they were estranged. 

The oldest girl, Rachel, a young woman of thirteen who had lived in the temple since she was three began the supplication phase of their prayer time saying, “Oh Lord, Spirit of Life and all flesh, we ask you to heal Sofira who eyes are dimming rapidly. Please wipe the film from them as you anointed the eyes of Tobit through the angel named Azariah with the fish gall. Let her see Your beautiful world and her blessed grandchildren again.”

Ruth was ready to be next, as she had been heavy hearted over the news that there had been a raid on her village and thieves stole from their storehouses and took three young maidens with them. Village men chased them but their horses were swift. Ruth beseeched God to find the ladies and bring them home. 

In unison with Ruth’s fear, the girls begged God to bring the girls home, for surely He knew where they were taken and could send a savior to retrieve them. 

Mother interjected, “Ladies, it is in faith and not despair or doubt that we come to our Lord with our requests.”

Silence ensued as the girls searched their hearts for what to pray. 

Bravely little Mary spoke up, “Lord, please guide my mommy and daddy safely home.” 

Then to her surprise, the new little girl heard a chorus of “Yes, Lord, alleluia.” Hearing her new sisters pray her prayers with her, as if they loved her mommy and daddy as much as she, removed a little of the sting of their separation. 

Their first dark night apart, little Mary and Anna and Joachim laid on their beds in a spirit of bright sorrow and prayer until a sweet sleep whisked them away. Joachim and Anna slept wrapped in each other’s arms. For Mary, the separation was slightly less painful because in her soul whirled all the thoughts of the day, the new friends, the place with its sacred fragrance of incense, and yet she hugged her stuffed animal tightly and wondered when her mommy and daddy would come back to visit her and with that thought Mary slipped gently into the relief of sleep. 

Joachim and Anna awoke together, And both parents as if they were one person instantly remembered that their little girl was not with them. They felt the sting of the deep hollowness created by her absence. The emptiness of not needing to wake her and dress and feed her was soon filled with a sense of peace that they could demonstrate their love, obedience, and gratitude to their Lord. Instinctively both parents knew that as painful as the separation was, little Mary was His all along. They were merely returning her to Him their holy Father. To have kept her would have been to be stealing her from their Lord. 

Hidden deep within the suffering of the littles family’s grief were white pearls of the victory of holiness. Her elderly parents were chosen to be the leaves of the rosebud that, as it grows shrink away so that from within its deep red blossom may emerge and reveal  the thirty petals of a bouquet in every blossomed rose. Such a rose could not have appeared so perfectly from younger parents who may have clung to the petals like a tight young bud that clings to its precious treasure dies refusing to open and let go. 

Their angels hovered over the family emitting a fragrance of comfort to bring solace to sadness so that the strong bond of love between Joachim, Anna, and Mary was stretched farther than ever it had before and became even stronger for it. For God in His infinite Wisdom knew that within a handful of years, Joachim and then Anna would die and go to Sheol leaving her as an orphan on earth. But by that time, she would be most humble and reverent, as she was protected and cared for by her house mothers and sisters.

ALIVE: Chapter 92 The Little Queen

Joachim loved his baby girl more than he thought he would when imagining his quiet life disrupted by a child in the home. Surprisingly he sensed a mystical peacefulness when he held her, or when he simply glanced over at her in the cradle or at her mother’s breast. For this reason Joachim always wanted to be near Mary, but alas he had to tend his flock and buy and sell to earn for his family, for the poor, and for the Temple. The temple that he didn’t forsake even after his sacrifice was rejected, even now.

After the birth, Anna felt herself changing in her spirit as much as she had changed physically during pregnancy. Like a thick blood-red wine being poured into a delicate crystal decanter Anna felt herself pouring into her infant. Every waking moment and several times in the night when the baby woke her up Anna needed to care for the infant one way or another, non stop. She carried her in the sling while she tried to do her chores, she walked with her in the sunshine, she bathed her, she showed her off to the curious women of the village; she nursed her frequently, and rocked her to sleep. When the baby grew out of the cradle she moved into her parent’s bed where Anna cuddled her through the night, glad not have to get up as she did to fetch the whimpering infant from the cradle. It was no longer Anna who lived, but Anna and Mary who lived as one even though Mary was now outside her womb. She did everything for her baby but breathe. And yet her love was so strong and her gratitude to God so great that in her exhaustion Anna never complained.

During one quiet moment while her holy baby Mary fell asleep in her arms after nursing, and Anna didn’t dare risk waking her up by setting her on the bed; paralyzed, Anna was forced to sit and think. It then occurred to her why the Lord had her wait nearly a whole lifetime before He granted her this child. Her years full of experiences and her maturity formed her into a patient, more appreciative, more calm mother than she would have been at eighteen or twenty. Knowing that this was her one and only child, Anna exalted in observing every moment of the baby’s growth.  With the perspective of someone standing on a hill, she watched the days, weeks, and months pass like a flowing river, always the same and always new. Time. It was so fluid and so precious. The baby grew and laughed and cried and grew bigger and fuller. Her rosy round cheeks and her laughing eyes filled her mother’s heart with a joy she had never known. And when little Mary cried, Anna was patient as she tried different things, looking for the reason of the discomfort and relished when something she tried worked. Sometimes it was to jiggle her and pat her on the back, other times it was to peer into her baby brown eyes and then cover her own face with her hands and say ZZZA! (Peek a boo) over and over again until Mary’s sobs turned to giggles. 

These were the halcyon days of life and Anna knew it. No other source of happiness could compare to motherhood. How she wished she could stop the river, or paddle upstream and revisit the very first thrilling weeks of Mary’s life. 

By some inexplicable cause unless it was divine, Joachim was always present for watershed moments in Mary’s development, when Anna first fed her cereal, when she first crawled and lifted herself to standing, when she spoke her first word, “gaga” as she drooled laughing. Joachim was the proudest father in all of Nazareth. It never mattered to Joachim that the younger fathers were not as enthusiastic about their gaggle of children. He never sought their advise but rather patiently accepted the intrusions into his old routine as they came. 

It was on a bright sunny Sabbath when Joachim was playing with Mary and a stuffed toy that a neighbor had made for her that he watched in awe as the baby pulled herself up on her feet by grabbing the cloth that covered the couch. Joachim had seen her do this before, but he didn’t expect to see Mary turn her head and flash her papa a smile as she released one hand’s grip on the cloth, and pivot her body around, let go and step toward her papa. Wide eyed Joachim cheered, which surprised Mary into falling. And falling into crying. Joachim scooped his baby girl into his arms and told her how proud of her he was. 

Then he carried the baby over to Anna who wiped her hands on her apron and received her crying toddler. 

“When should we remind them that they will soon have to give their precious child to the temple?” said baby Mary’s guardian angel to the other two in the room.

“What a spoil sport you are!” exclaimed Joachim’s angel. “Leave them alone. We have plenty of time.”

“I agree they need to be reminded.” chimed in Anna’s angel. Mary’s angel, being of a higher rank allowed the two angels to argue before announcing, “No. There is time. I just think we need to make plans. For now, we will let the family rejoice in their love for each other, that the nucleus may be strong.”

Anna looked forward Mary’s first birthday. They were so proud of their blessed baby girl. One evening while Mary was bouncing cheerfully on her papa’s knee and Anna was cleaning and snipping green beans, Anna decided it was a good time to divulge her idea. “Joachim, what do you think of having a big party to celebrate Mary’s first birthday?”

Joachim smiled because he had been thinking the same thing and wondered if Anna read his mind or if he read hers. Yet, he replied nonchalantly, “Yes. Let’s do that. We will invite the scribes and priests and the elders, and all of our friends. The weather is good, we will have it in the south field. I will have my servants set it up and build the fire pit to cook the fatted calf.”

“We will need tables and chairs too. I will make the cake, and have friends make the hummus. Oh this is going to be a wonderful party! I will make her a pretty birthday dress!” exclaimed Anna. Mary sensed her parents’ enthusiasm and giggled with them as she was mouthing her toy and drooling. 

...

The event was a success. Before the meal Joachim brought the child to the elders who were sitting together for their blessing. Benonah placed his hand on the baby’s forehead and said: 'O God of our fathers, bless this child, and give her an everlasting name to be named in all generations.' 

Then Joachim carried his precious princess over to where the chief priest was sitting and held her out to him for a blessing, and the chief priest too blessed her, saying: 'O God most high, look upon this child, and bless her with the utmost blessing, which shall be for ever.'” After proclaiming the blessing Joachim, Anna and their freshly blessed baby sat down together. The eldest priest whose eyes had grown dim over the years spoke, “This child is holy. You would consider well to separate her from this dangerous world and bring her to the temple to be raised in peace and protection.”

These words stung Anna’s heart. In the year or more that transpired since she had the vision from the angel, she had forgotten the line about the baby being raised in the Temple. Or she wanted to forget. How could she be separated from her precious gift, her bubbly baby girl. She immediately rejected the notion in her heart, but outwardly smiled falsely and struggled to nod.

The elder continued. “In your home there is much bustling work to be done. The world enters daily with its distractions. This child should be set aside from such activity that she may worship the Lord and learn the Torah and the psalms. We will protect her from the snares of the devil.”

Joachim nodded obediently while in his heart he too was conflicted, while Anna listened. How could she reject the offer to protect her child from the devil and his world? Anna remained silent while clasping her baby girl to her breast. Joachim replied, “We will give that much prayer and consideration. Thank you rabbi.”  At that, the family stood up and shook the hand of the elder.

“I must go change her diaper.” Gripping Mary, Anna scurried away to fetch her supplies and find a private place to clean and freshen up the birthday girl. Weeping, Anna decided not to think about sending her precious child away, at least not for a year or two. 

In the end, the big birthday celebration brought the parents more grief than joy. Where they had treasured every moment with their little girl watching her grow and delighting in her cheerful antics, a suffocating feeling came over each of them from time to time. One night Anna dreamt that the baby was placed in a vault and submerged deep in the earth. She woke up in a sweat, grateful for reality. She didn’t dare reveal her nightmare to Joachim, as the poor father was upset enough. This child had rejuvenated him and given him a new purpose.

Early several mornings after the birthday party, before he went off to work Joachim heard a loud wrap on his door. He opened it and was stunned to see a messenger boy, “The chief priest summons you to come to him ...now.” 

“Who is it Joachim?”

“The chief priest wants to talk to me. Tell my servants to go ahead with the flock and I will meet them later. I’ll be back.” With that Joachim grabbed his outer garment and followed the messenger although he already knew the way.

“Welcome Joachim, please sit down.” Joachim felt like he was the subject of a tribunal. He didn’t know what they wanted to tell him beyond what they had said at the party, which he still hadn’t come to terms with. He was right, they just wanted to reiterate the dictum that Mary should be cloistered but allowed that the child should be weaned first.

“Couldn’t we have done this in a more gentle way. I thought we wanted to wait?” said Anna’s guardian angel to the others. 

Mary’s angel was the first to reply, “It was kinder to give them more time to adjust. Joachim needed the firm authority. He couldn’t have been persuaded otherwise.”

Joachim’s angel added, “I’ll take it from here, after I’m through he will gladly hand his princess to the Temple.”  The angels then dispersed each to its own charge. 

For the next year the little family lived in a double state of consciousness. Still exuberant about their blessing of the cheerful growing baby girl and sad that they would probably have to give her up, for how could they deny the elders, and the Lord God Himself if this be His will? 

One sunny day in 11 BC, Joachim decided to take his flock back up the mountain where he had gone the day they returned from their shameful rejection in Jerusalem. Again, he huffed and puffed to reach the top where his lambs and goats which had arrived first busily munched the earth’s produce. Joachim plopped himself on a large boulder and surveyed the small world beneath him and the vast sky that surrounded him. As he sat there, he was reminded of the day Abraham brought Isaac to be sacrificed on the mountaintop. He marveled at how willingly Isaac accompanied his father. He thought of how many more years Abraham waited for this promise child than he waited for Mary, almost forty more years, and how without grief or complaint it is written that Abraham obeyed the Lord. 

Isaac being a boy and not a baby, Joachim thought of how much more his father and he had grown together in love and companionship before Abraham was willing to sacrifice his son to Yahweh? And how much greater was Abraham’s sacrifice when Joachim would be able to visit his daughter in her safe and sacred home from time to time; Father Abraham was willing to send his son to Sheol!  Did not Abraham’s blood course through his own veins? Was his faith so weak? Joachim's gnawing grief turned to embarrassment and then resolve and he looked forward to sharing these realizations with Anna. 

Anna’s angel was equally doing its work for the Lord. Again, as often happened while Anna held the sleeping baby in her arms, rather than risk waking her she reached deep in her vast trove of  knowledge of scripture and remembered Hannah, the elderly barren mother of the prophet Samuel, how Hannah was so grateful that she handed her treasured son to the Temple to be raised in the knowledge and worship of the Lord. Would Samuel have become such a great prophet, had it not been for this upbringing? Who would have known to select King David had it not been for the sensitivity and holiness of Samuel? But she had a daughter?! Was it at all possible that a girl child could ever be as holy as the Prophet Samuel? She reached into her bank of knowledge and thought of Miriam, Ruth, Diane, Esther, but none of these ladies, as faithful as they were could compare to the prophet. Could this child possibly become as great as Samuel?

Anna immediately rejected the thought as a sin. A grave and arrogant sin, but with it came the notion that her education and formation in the Temple, like Samuel’s, was God’s Will. Then, suddenly the visit of the angel came to Anna’s mind. She remembered how he foretold that the child would be sent to the Temple. This memory jarred Anna into the realization that she needed to set aside her will, and obey. She needed to obey the priests and angel, even as she constantly set her own will aside to obey the precious baby. Love makes obedience easy. Did she love God enough? She gazed at her sleeping baby in wonder of what God could possibly have in store for this girl. 

...

Mary’s third year with her parents was adorned with the sheer joyousness they felt in the beginning. The love of God which knows no boundaries, true love that cared more for the beloved than for themselves filled mother and father to the brim of consciousness. It was no longer a grieving consciousness but a brave and faithful, yielding consciousness, fully abandoned to the will of God.

During her third year Mary learned quickly how to speak. She jabbered merrily to herself and her dolls while playing. She learned short prayers by heart and she learned to sing alleluia. Her rosy cheeks, milky white skin glowed and her big brown eyes sparkled with the same contentment that her elderly parents had come to know. Using their ability to communicate and reason, Joachim and Anna prepared their daughter as they prepared themselves for the upcoming separation telling her that ‘She was indeed special. Because God and her parents loved her so much, they wanted her to live with the other special people of God who sing like she likes to sing and who tell stories about God and His people Israel.’ 

On the day that Joachim and Anna presented their daughter Mary to the temple everyone was ready. Joachim had prepared for the transport which carried their treasured daughter and a small trunk of her beloved dolls and her clothing. The angels flew closely alongside the caravan to Jerusalem. 

One in Jerusalem, they were deposited at the depot, and needed to find transport to the Temple. After more than a half an hour a man came by with a donkey and offered his services. Anna and her little three year old Mary climbed onto to the donkey’s back while a second ass carried the luggage. Joachim held the lead of the donkey that carried his precious daughter and wife. They meandered through the stony streets of Jerusalem completely unaware of Mary’s similar procession to Bethlehem, and her son’s similar procession into Jerusalem when he would be hailed with palms tossed on the ground before Him, like a ruby red carpet for a king. 

ALIVE: Chapter 91 the Queen’s Birthday

Neither Joachim, nor Anna ever told their neighbors about the disgrace they endured at the temple in Jerusalem, nor of the appearance of the angel. To everyone around them it was just something of a miracle that such an old couple would bear a child.

As the weeks went by Anna’s belly swelled around her, thickening her waist. Her face changed in the manner of a woman who carries a daughter in her womb. Thus it became obvious to the ladies in the village that elderly Anna was with a girl child. And yet, the notion of Anna’s miracle child being a girl confused some of them. The concept of a miracle pregnancy producing a girl child was unlikely. Sarah’s Isaac was a boy, so too Rachel’s Joseph. When ever was a girl, rather than a male a gift from God? “Perhaps, it is a boy after all.” thought the gossiping ladies with one mind. “Or, that Joachim and Anna will have a spinster girl to tend to them in their old age, or to give them many grandchildren. If so, this gift is only for them, and not for God’s purpose, and therefore not important.” reasoned the practical ladies. 

But it wasn’t just the peasant women who were unaware of the historic proportion of what was transpiring in their mundane lives in the village of Nazareth. While men and women alike went about working to eat and eating to work, growing vegetables and fruit trees in their parched earth, and tending their flocks, weaving their cotton and wool, little did anyone know, even the elderly couple, that the growing fetus in Anna’s womb would be the most revered woman in the history of mankind. More than that, it was the primal seed of eternal life. Even the angels did not yet know the magnificence inherent in the simple unlikely pregnancy of elderly Anna.

Joachim’s forgotten shame had turned to joy. “Beloved wife, how do you feel today?”

Anna’s smile penetrated through the intense discomfort of her ever-present nausea, and now through intense exhaustion. She spit into her bucket and replied, “I am well.” 

“What can I do for you my dear?” 

“Please go to Deborah the midwife and ask her to come to me.”  

“Of course, right away. Is it your time?” 

“I don’t think so, I just want to speak with her. I am too tired to go to her. But I’m fine.” replied Anna and then spit again into the bucket. Suddenly a wave of nausea came over her. She tried hard to absorb the nausea rather than run to her vomiting hole while Joachim was present. She wanted to spare her husband the awful sound of it, and try, hard as it was, to retain an ounce of dignity. 

Joachim nodded and then stoked the fire, grabbed his coat and went to get the midwife all the while wondering how younger fathers dealt with such uncertainty. How many women had he known who died in childbirth. The fear of losing his dear Anna was more than he could bear. How much more likely that this ill elderly woman could not survive childbirth, than the women half her age, and who have left motherless infants behind. How could he cope since his mother and hers had been in the grave for many years. Who would nurse for their baby? 

Joachim was not accustomed to fretting, but this odd situation had brought with it a flood of uncharacteristic thoughts that haunted the poor old man. The illness of his wife’s pregnancy had alienated Joachim from Anna and he felt abandoned and lonely.

Deborah opened the door promptly, “Hello Joachim! Is it Anna’s time?”

Joachim replied somewhat sheepishly, “I don’t think so, she just wants you to visit her. Are you able to go to my house?”

“Let me finish a few things here; I will be over shortly.” Looking in the eyes of this forlorn old man, Deborah added, “Joachim, everything will be fine! You’ll see. You will have a little baby soon, maybe a son! Cheer up!”

Meanwhile in the skies, αngels of every rank headed down through each level of heaven to the little village of Nazareth, and into the room where the infant, the future Mother of God, was about to enter the world. To the heavenly host and to God himself, the event of this birth was as profound as the creation of Eve. God and His angels not only wanted to witness the birth, they went to create a Holy Spirit shield, a blessed buffer zone between the holy family and the diabolical spirits. 

While she was waiting for Deborah to arrive Anna started to tidy up her home. She had been preparing for the infant’s arrival for weeks. Her kind and generous neighbors had brought the rocking cradle and swaddling clothes. Just looking at the paraphernalia brought joy and thanksgiving to her heart. To keep from spitting Anna started chanting hymns in a low voice, only for the ears of the Lord. Her heart was overflowing with “a good theme” as the psalm said. Her home was quiet and cozy. Anna was content and sleepy within it. She was unaware that inside her body, so gradually that she didn’t even notice her cervix was widening in preparation for the birth. Anna’s chanting was interrupted by a rap on the door. She smiled in relief that Deborah had arrived. A sweet flowery smell as of incense wafted by her nostrils and she wondered briefly where it came from as she walked over to open the door. 

“Greetings, my dear! How do you feel?”

“I feel sleepy but wonderful,” exclaimed Anna, surprised to hear herself exclaim health and happiness. 

“What can I do for you then?” 

“I want to know what to expect.” inquired Anna who had heard the explanation many times, but wanted to hear it again and have the company of kind Deborah in whose presence she felt calm and peaceful, as if Deborah was the antidote to nausea.

“As your opening grows to let the infant out, you will feel pain, perhaps a lot of pain. Do not clench yourself as you want, but instead try to do the opposite, relax.

Your contractions will come in waves and you will be able to rest between them. When you are wide open, I will ask you to push. But not before. You will be sitting on your legs so the infant can fall out, and after it comes out, I will ask you to lay back, so I can cut the cord and pull out the afterbirth, You can do this Anna, I will be with you every step of the way. I have five children of my own and I have attended scores of births. You are in good hands.”

Anna relished Deborah’s confidence. “I wonder if this baby will be born on Rosh Hashanah, to greet the new world on New Year’s Day?” 

Deborah replied, “Anna whether or not the baby comes on Rosh Hashanah, it will be a New Year’s Day, and new life for you. I must get back to my children who surely would have destroyed the home by now.” She gave Anna a little hug and left her alone with the first of thousands of visiting angels. 

Indeed Deborah’s visit gave Anna a feeling of peace and joy. So much that she laid down for a moment and fell into a deep sleep. Anna dreamt of angels singing and she was so very happy. And then she looked up and saw bars as in a jail. Behind the bars were wild animals growling and howling to get out, but they couldn’t. She looked at them fiercely fighting with each other for their anger against the bars of their confinement. Anna was not threatened at all. She glared at them in confusion and pity. She was secure and she knew it. Suddenly she was lifted out of that scene and carried into the luminous sky. The air was fresh and smelled of flowers. Her mother appeared and began to speak to her. Anna was so happy to see her mother when suddenly the sunbeam hit Anna’s sleeping eyes and woke her up. She lay there for several minutes trying to return to her dream, to her mother, but finally gave up and got up. It was time to cook Joachim’s supper.

When she stood up water trickled down her legs. Was it urine? No, she couldn’t stop it! Anna made her way to the door and opened it and shouted to the blurry passers by, “Quick, get Joachim and Deborah, my baby is coming!” She noticed that she had been heard and the blurry people scurried out in different directions.

Anna shut the door and rushed over to her bed. Oh! The pain! It was at first dull but strong. She forgot to relax but clenched her whole body. She breathed long strong breaths of air. She was doing everything wrong when Deborah and her daughter came rushing in. 

“Thank God you are here. My baby is coming!” 

“Okay, my dear try to relax. You will need your strength.” 

As Anna and the midwife were preparing for the birth, three ladies entered and began to chant to relax the old woman. Their presence was a welcome surprise for Anna and Deborah. 

Joachim rushed in. Deborah said, “Joachim, do you want to be in here or do you want to wait outside?” 

Joachim was confused by the question and didn’t know how to reply since both choices were so foreign to him. He thought for a while, and listened for the answer from his heart. As his guardian angel concentrated hard to transmit to Joachim, that he should stay and wipe her brow, or let her clench his hand. He could be useful, and give the couple a shared memory of this special birth.

“I will stay Deborah. What can I do to help? Oh, my dear Anna.” Joachim was not ready for this phase. He had only in the last month with compassion for his wife become accustomed to the spitting and vomiting. He often wondered how he would have gone through the intense physical transformation that she had to accept these last months. 

Joachim was jarred out of his thoughts with a loud scream, followed by a train of screams that were as frightening as thunder and as long.

Both guardian angels shot a frightened look at Gabriel and then at God as if to say “What do we do?”

God replied calmly, “She is human, this is the curse of Eve, she will survive. In fact, when the child is in her arms she will forget all about the pain.”

The angels nodded, Joachim shut his eyes and winced in sympathy. Piercing scream followed piercing scream separated by the lulls when there was quiet breathing. Anna was drenched in sweat. Her long gray hair flowed down beside her face and down her back like rivulets from a mountain stream. “Help me. Help me Lord!” cried Anna when she could speak. 

Deborah’s daughter handed Joachim a wet cloth. He accepted it gratefully and wiped his brow. “No, wipe HER brow!” said the girl and took back the cloth to refresh the water. Joachim apologized and took Anna’s hand between his two hands and gave her a perfect expression of the helplessness he felt. When the rag was returned, he gladly received it and wiped the sweat and tears from his wife’s red swollen face. In her pain and suffering Joachim noticed that she hadn’t looked so young in years. 

After several hours of screams and quiet rest, Deborah said, “Fetch all the pillows you can find, I want to look.” Her daughter gathered the pillows from around the home and skillfully placed them behind Anna’s crouching body. She then gently guided the woman to sit and then lay back. Anna was glad to do that as her legs had grown stiff and sore in that position for so long. So used to pain, she barely noticed the seething tremble of her legs as they straighten out. She lay down and closed her eyes to rest. Her body was completely still. Her unnumbing legs were all the pain she felt. The baby was still. 

Deborah gave Anna the time to rest knowing how short it would be as she gently spread Anna’s legs and peered between them. A ray of light that streamed into the home from the sunrise was a welcome help. “Yes, I see the crown!” exclaimed Deborah, just as the next scream ejaculated from Anna’s mouth. 

“Get back up and push with all your might!” ordered Deborah without an ounce of compassion. 

Joachim and the daughter lifted Anna by the armpits back up onto her crouching position. The sleepy choir began chanting again. 

Anna obediently pushed as hard as she could. The infant tore through her mother’s cervix and slid into the waiting arms of the midwife. 

All the angels cheered their silent cheer. God smiled the smile of the Father. Joachim glared in shock; tears streaming down his eyes as he beheld the most beautiful sight he had ever seen. 

The cry of the infant was melodious and sweet, almost rhythmical.

Deborah announced immediately, “It’s a girl!” And then busily got to work, to cut the cord. After she severed the child from her exhausted mother. She handed the baby to her daughter to clean and swaddle. “Stay there, you still must deliver the placenta. Push once more Anna.” 

Soon, Joachim helped Anna lay down on the waiting pillows. Deborah busily cleaned the mess. Joachim helped the daughter replace the sheets with which he covered his beautiful wife, the mother of his child. 

The baby girl continued to sing her whimpering cries until the daughter handed the swaddled baby to her smiling mother. Joachim’s muscular arms enveloped his family and his head leaned against his wife and tilted to soak in the sight of his infant daughter.

Archangel Michael ordered the angels to disperse and return to their posts. God cast a little uncreated light, the light He called forth before the sun was made, to delicately illuminate the room as a gift to His mother at her birth. One of the choir women thought she saw a halo around the Anna’s head and around the child’s. 

The Lord was the last to leave the room full of joy and peace. Anna had  never been so happy as when she was cuddling with her very own infant daughter.

ALIVE: Chapter 90, Humility

“You aren’t worthy to offer a sacrifice to God with those childless hands!” barked Issachar, the high priest, upbraiding the old barren couple who dared to approach the altar. “You must be sinners if God has withheld the blessing of children on you all these years.”

“Get out of here! Go back to whatever hole you crawled out of.” echoed a younger priest. A cacophony of “Yay” followed from the people.

Anna felt a hip jostling her out of the crowd. “God must have cursed you for a good reason. Get out!” 

The four day journey to Jerusalem from Nazareth had been dusty and exhausting for Joachim and his wife Anna, but they wanted to celebrate  their wedding anniversary in a special way by sacrificing to God who had united them fifty years before. How they had longed to purify themselves before God by transmitting their sins to the lamb. What could it mean, to be rejected, to be ejected from sacrificing? Would their sins cling to them like boils on their skin? How shameful! 

The shock of rejection, the weight of their sins clinging to them,  caused Anna to weep and meekly withdraw as demanded of her. She reached for Joachim’s hand. He looked at her sorrowful face and read that he should not argue with Issachar, but instead, he squeezed Anna’s hand and with all the self control he could muster, he meekly turned away from the altar, and weaved through the crowd of jeering people. Their hearts became flooded with thoughts of the years they spent planning and preparing for this pilgrimage. The arduous trek that took days before they finally arrived in Jerusalem had been both an act of penance and a spiritual quest to be pure before the Lord almighty.  With every step Joachim and Anna anticipated the feeling of relief of purity. “How could their childlessness be an unforgivable sin?” thought Joachim. The two hearts grieved as one as they silently retreated to pick up their belongings from the room and go back home to Nazareth. 

When they reached the room, Anna was the first to speak. “Joachim, since we are so near, do you mind if on our way home, we visit my sisters Zoia and Mary in Bethlehem?”

“Of course my dear, you gather our belongings while I seek transport. I shouldn’t be long.”

While packing Anna quietly searched her soul for reasons why God withheld children. How had she offended the Lord? She thought of unkind words she had spoken, of criticisms of others that she had expressed, of the times she and Joachim argued. Of the Sabbaths when she cooked. Her sisters had children, Elizabeth and Salome were such sweet little girls. Anna looked forward to seeing her nieces  again. She wondered what gift she could take them from Jerusalem? Then she wondered whether she should tell her sisters about their expulsion from the Temple. She didn’t want to disparage the Temple, no matter what. 

Her guardian angel looked upon sad Anna with compassion. The angel saw the sacrifices she made to be generous to the poor, to give to the Temple. Her angel did not see Anna as sinful, but as a sad aspiring child of the Most High.

Joachim walked into the room so quietly that Anna was startled to see him sitting in the chair as if he was an apparition. “I’m sorry, you were so immersed in thought, I didn’t want to disturb you my dear. We can join a caravan leaving for Nazareth in the morning.” Joachim stood up and Anna walked over to him and they hugged a good long time. The privacy of the room gave them the relief they needed to weep together. 

If angels could cry theirs did watching the childless old couple heal ever so slowly from the gash of mistreatment they suffered. 

Joachim gently released himself from their hug. “Why are we placing so much weight on what Issachar said?  Let’s pray. ‘Oh Holy One, please forgive our iniquities and have mercy upon us. Though we are beyond the years of bearing children, we ask you, we beseech you, ...” then Anna injected, “We beg of you,”

“...please look upon us as you looked upon father Abraham and Sarah and remove this shame from us. Please Lord, grant us a child of our own. For your glory Lord. Allow our love for You and for each other to bear fruit. Up to now, we have spent our days and nights in worship and service to You alone and not for our own pleasure. If this has pleased You Lord, open Your sacred heart to send us a precious child, the fruit of Your love, and ours, that we may plant upon this fertile earth a child of man and of God to serve you all the days of its life when we are gone to Hades and can worship you no longer.” So ended the prayer of Joachim and Anna, who up until that day, spurned on by the mean Jerusalemites, begged God for a child for the first time in their fifty years of marriage. They who up until then had been content with God’s will to serve Him, and the poor. They who never begged God for anything, for surely they did not have want of anything.  God had blessed them richly with herds and reverence knowing their generosity to the poor and to the Temple. God tested and used this holy and complaint couple for fifty years. For fifty years they had observed the law humbly. 

Unbeknownst to them Joachim and Anna had been chosen by God for His unique purpose; Issachar’s cruel rejection was both purposeful and prophetic. It was purposeful because it spurred the couple on to pray and prepare for the birth of God’s Mother, it was prophetic because via their offspring, animal sacrifice would never be needed again. Not only would Joachim and Anna be turned away from animal sacrifice, the all-important vehicle for awareness and remission of sin, so would all mankind never require animal sacrifice again through the death of their grandson Jesus Christ, like Abraham’s Isaac who would be the epitome of the sacrificial lamb. Anna as the third daughter of the Levite priest Mattan, and Joachim as a son of David by their nature chose to devote their lives to their faith in Yahweh.  Their wealth was not to be found in gold or silver, in their skills, or in a gaggle of children, but only in living humbly in the most yielding spirit of King David. 

Their guardian angels watched the pious couple suffering unjust shame and indignation and had pity on them. At that moment word came from the Spirit chain-of-command that their prayer had been granted and furthermore, the archangel Gabriel was sent to give the couple hope. Delighted, the two guardian angels prepared for the arrival of the archangel. 

The journey back to Nazareth via Bethlehem was healing but exhausting. Anna loved being with her sisters and the little girls who had matured beautifully since she last saw them. They adored the stuffed dates she brought from Jerusalem. Mary was such a wonderful cook. Their family dinners and playful nieces forced the sad memories of the embarrassing scene at the altar to recede.

“Please promise me that you will come to Nazareth to visit.” begged Anna. Zoia, Mary and their daughters took turns hugging Anna tearfully, as they parted.

“Anna, we must be going.” urged Joachim who was anxious not to miss the caravan and they had a ways to walk to meet it.

Back in Nazareth Joachim and Anna returned to their responsibilities. “Anna, I am going to take the flocks up into the hills. I’ll be back tomorrow. Will you be alright?” Joachim was unable to face the feeling of shame that never left him as it had Anna when she was with her sisters.

“Yes, my dear, I have a lot to do in the garden. Go with God. I want to be alone too.”

They gave each other a peck and a look in the eyes, and then parted. 

“Okay,” said Joachim’s angel to Anna’s angel. “You go to the garden  and I’ll go up the mountain. When Gabriel arrives do what he says. Bring Joachim home late this evening.”

Anna’s angel smiled and nodded and then flew over to the garden.

Joachim and his flock hiked up the mountaintop slowly huffing and puffing and taking a break from time to time to lean on his walking stick as the hike was steeper than he remembered. When Joachim and the flock finally arrived, he took in a deep breath of the fresh air and surveyed the land around him. Joachim relished the quiet that was broken from time to time with the nay of a lamb or goat. Joachim was so immersed in his anguished thoughts that he was surprised when he had finally reached the top. Spotting a boulder Joachim perched himself on it while the flock meandered beneath him. 

Like a meteor dropping from the sky a bright light enveloped Joachim, and an angel as a man appeared in the midst of the light. Joachim looked at it in disbelief and awe. 

The apparition spoke, “I am Gabriel, sent from God. I have come to give you good tidings of the birth of a daughter by whom all the nations of the earth will be blessed, and through whom the salvation of the world will come. When this comes to pass, you must offer the young child to be raised in the Temple as a holy vessel to God.”

“Do you mean to tell me that I must give my precious child to Issachar who so berated me?!” replied Joachim in astonishment. Just as the words came forth, in his heart Joachim thought of Abraham sacrificing Isaac. Gabriel didn’t reply more than to plant the vision of Isaac in his mind. 

Now go home to Anna,” said Gabriel. “you will find her waiting for you at the gate.” Then as suddenly as it appeared, the apparition faded.  Joachim sat stunned for a good while, but when he noticed the sun setting, he was impelled to hurry back down the mountain.

Meanwhile, Anna was in her garden pulling the weeds that had spread while they were gone and tilling the earth to make it more receptive to the nourishing water. In her garden Anna cherished thoughts of Joachim and how grieved he was.  She admired Joachim for his diligence and his bright green eyes that still sparkled when he laughed. She was enjoying the smell of the earth and fresh air when suddenly a bright light arose out of nowhere. Frightened, Anna gasped in fear. Her eyes were fixed on the apparition of a man in the midst of the light. She was paralyzed. He spoke to her.

“I am Gabriel from the Lord of all. Your prayers have been heard. Fear not, you will be blessed with a daughter. She will be most blessed and through her all nations of the earth will be blessed. Through your daughter will come the salvation of the world. You must promise to deliver your blessed daughter to the Temple to be raised in holiness...

Anna gasped.  

“...as she will become a holy vessel of the Most High God.” Gabriel paused and looked at Anna’s astonished and inquiring face. She bowed her head to listen to her heart which was silent. Then she looked up with tears in her eyes; Anna nodded in obedience.

“Go to the city gate and wait for Joachim to return. He too has been told.” 

The apparition of the angel-man slowly vanished and the light dimmed itself enough to blend with the waning daylight. The elderly woman, long past her fertile years, sat on the stool for a while digesting the message. She arose mechanically and wiped her hands on the towel and straightened her clothing and in a daze gradually walked to the city gate. ....

“How do you feel?”  whispered Joachim to Anna as they lay beside each other in their winter bed under heavy blankets. 

Anna snuggled closer resting her head in the crook of his chest with her thin arm draped across her man squeezing him gently. “The Lord heard my prayers and He granted me our heart’s desire. I feel like a new Sarah. I am so happy Joachim, so very happy. I know what it means, what it feels like to be blessed by God.”

“You are more than Sarah my darling. We have no Hagar and no Ishmael to distort God’s will. Our love is pure and faithful. The Lord is the sunshine on our faces.” 

Anna added, “How long have we waited and hoped for this child? Our very own Isaac...is a girl. God’s will be done.”

The old and happy couple lulled themselves into a deep sleep with thoughts of the miracle of their own child. Anna was the first to dose off while Joachim flittered mentally from new realities of fatherhood to the demands of an infant in their settled lives. These were the thoughts that lulled Joachim into a deep sleep that night.  

Joachim awoke to the sound of Anna wrenching. 

“Anna my dear! Are you alright?!” Alarmed and helpless Joachim didn’t know what to do. 

“Oh, I feel awful. How I wish my  mother was still alive to help me. But please go on with your day. Can you get your own breakfast? I want to be alone.” 

Reluctantly Joachim dressed for the day, grabbed a rusk and left his ailing pregnant wife after placing a kiss on her red cheek.  He first went to his neighbor’s house and knocked on the door. 

He didn’t wait long for Gershim to open. The children were laughing and tussling in the background. “May I come in?”

“Of course, what can we do for you. Is everything okay?”

Diane stopped preparing the morning meal to join her husband at the door in curiosity. 

Joachim looked at Diane and said, “Did you know that Anna is with child?”

“No! I didn’t! How thrilling!” exclaimed Diana looking at Gershim. 

Joachim looked down modestly almost blushing like a teenage boy. “Yes, but she is ill and I must tend my flock. Will you look in on her? I don’t know what to do for her.”

“Of course I will. There is really nothing you can do but make sure she has enough water and some rusk.” She will be fine. I will go to her after I feed the children. Go Joachim, she will be fine.”

Joachim turned toward the door with head bowed low trying to reconcile his joy with his fear for her health. He mumbled a thank you and stepped out into the bustling village. 

Anna was miserable. The slight nausea she had been experiencing the past several mornings had intensified into full blown convulsions. As the hours wore on, Anna felt as if blood was boiling in her veins, vibrating within her whole body. She was paralyzed by nausea and vomiting. Diane knocked and then walked in to find Anna sitting like a stone, waiting for the next wave to take over. 

“I will make you tea. I brought my best honey. This will help you.” 

“Please,” replied Anna, “don’t waste your honey on me. But I will take the tea. And a piece of rusk.”

“Yes, you must put something in your body, if only to have something to spew, instead of your own innards.” 

Oh, the thought of vomiting her innards made Anna feel worse. Diana stoked the fire and tidied up the home. 

As the days and weeks in this condition wore on, the sickness came and went in waves. Anna noticed that some food helped her a bit, but never for long. There was no normalcy never. In fact, after a few weeks when the nausea mostly confined itself to the mornings and evenings, she started spitting during the day. The excess saliva that her body produced was too much to swallow without making her sicker.  So poor Anna spit into a bucket day and night. The smelly bucket made her need to vomit more. Joachim emptied the bucket outside and rinsed it as often as he could for his own sake as well as his wife’s. 

Working, when she got the strength helped to distract her. Joachim felt helpless. There was nothing he could do to comfort his suffering wife.

As the weeks went by, and the nausea and spitting became matter of fact, the baby grew and grew. Anna felt the kicking which at first alarmed her, and then came as a welcome visit from the child. She sang to the baby which seemed to bring joy to both mother and child. 

Knowing that there would most definitely be an end to the nausea and spitting comforted Anna. Joachim grew accustomed to the sorry condition of his wife and patiently accepted the sounds of vomiting and spitting. She did her best to keep the house clean and cook his meals. She also went for long walks to breath in fresh air and see others for distraction, and to show off her blossoming belly. 

Joachim and Anna were both overjoyed at the prospect of a daughter, and prayed their thanksgiving daily, while secretly wondering what the angel meant by this daughter bringing salvation to the whole earth.

Diana had organized the other neighbors to prepare meals for Joachim and Anna.  At first every day, and later twice a week a stew or pot of soup was delivered to their home. Everyone believed that the child was a miracle and a blessing, although neither parent ever mentioned the Visitation of Gabriel.

In her seventh month, Anna was visited by a few of the women who brought sweets and tea. The ladies chatted merrily when the subject of the baby came up. 

“We will name her Mary after my sister.” announced Anna merrily. 

“Mary is a good name. It is the name of the girl Miriam who kept alive the infant deliverer of Israel, Moses. Yes, Mary is a good name for your child.” said the elderly Ruth. “But what if it is a boy?”

The invisible guardian angels of Anna’s and her infant, looked at each other with big knowing grins. 

ALIVE: Chapter 89 Gabriel

As the dance of the moon and sun and earth went on and on for a million years with only the most subtle outward variations, and the most magnificent inner variations, the spirits sorted themselves into two camps, i.e. jealous, hostile spirits who never ceased to exercise their power by causing all manner of conflicts, accidents, and disturbances on the earth, and the spirits who recognized their inferiority to God and appreciated the Creation of the universe, and served God and the humans that were made in His image and likeness. 


The spirits preexisted the creation of the universe. Because they existed without beginning. The spirits, both enthusiastic and hostile were in creation. They were not named in the creation story, because they were not created, but were always there in the sky and on the earth, without substance and yet with a powerful and mysterious presence, with minds. When the spirits discovered that they could gain substance by inhabiting men and animals, the evil spirits and the humble spirits rejoiced alike for different reasons. The evil spirits proudly characterized themselves as evil because they opposed the Creator. The hostile spirits gravitated to the darkness that they always knew before the creation of light and the sun. They hid in darkness to mask their intentions. With spiritual hubris, the opposing spirits were weaker than God, but at the same time were able to cause trouble. God allowed that, knowing that He could use them. He allowed the defiant spirits to rule the world. Both good angels and evil demons occupied the earth and used men’s souls as a playground, but it wasn’t playing. God allowed the evil spirits to challenge and test men’s souls. Through the evil spirits God could sort out those worthy to live with new immortal bodies in His Kingdom. What the hostile spirits meant for evil, God turned to good. Every time. God creates. Evil destroys. 


God employed His cooperative angels in His work on earth too. He ordered the spirits and the humans: thrones and saints, archangels and kings, angels and common men. Hierarchy exists. It is meaningful and purposeful. 


From time to time, when it serves His purpose, God allows the angels to become apparent to men. Their appearance, in order to be perceived by humans takes on the form and appearance of a man, but without human limitations such as the need for food, or sleep, or the distortion of life in sickness and death. 


Three higher archangels, became emissaries of God on the earth as recorded in His sacred Book. These Archangels were appointed to be links between the worlds of spirit and of flesh to the point that they were given names Gabriel, the communicator, Michael, the warrior, and Raphael, Tobias’ guide. 


For the purpose of this record of Life, ALIVE, the reader will look at  one of the three known as Gabriel. In the sacred record Gabriel has three fundamental roles. “He” visited the prophet Daniel to explain to him the vision and warn him of the end times. Centuries later, Gabriel returned to announce the birth of John, the forerunner and Baptist, and finally as recorded Gabriel announced the miraculous conception of Jesus Christ to his Virgin mother, Mary. 


The archangel Gabriel is a link, a golden cord that joins the old world to the new one. There are three, even four worlds. The primal world of darkness and void, the world of the new creation with its story of humankind and with its focus on the one large family of Israel, and the new world in which the covenant of Abraham is fulfilled in Jesus Christ, who expanded God’s people to include every nation, and finally the future world of immortality.  


The covenant between God and Abraham, that made Abraham the father of many nations, made that family a control group for God. Through Abraham God was given a family through which He could become known to all of humankind. 


When God made man on the sixth day, He made him in His image and likeness, with His unique intellect and His unique emotions, God set men free from the Garden of Eden, into a dangerous world to use his tremendous powers of intellect, creativity and reason. However, the evil spirits would be a constant threat and distraction.


Then, according to plan, when the time was right, God condescended to become a human, from the zygote up. 


With one hand grasping the prophet Daniel, outstretching the other hand to grasp the hand of the chosen virgin maiden, Gabriel linked the two worlds of the Planet Earth.


Daniel. 8:15

When I Daniel, had seen the vision, I tried to understand it. Then someone appeared standing before me, having the appearance of a man, and I heard a human voice by the Ulai River, calling, “Gabriel, help this man understand the vision.” So he came near where I stood; and I became frightened and fell prostrate. But he said to me, “Understand O mortal, that the vision is for a time of the end.”


As he was speaking to me, I fell into a trance, face to the ground; then he touched me and set me on my feet. He said, “Listen, and I will tell you what will take place later in the period of wrath; for it refers to the appointed time of the end.” 


Daniel 9:20

While I was speaking, and was praying and confessing my sin and the sin of my people Israel and presenting my supplication before the Lord my God - while I was speaking in prayer, the man Gabriel, whom I had seen before in a vision, came to me in swift flight at the time of the evening sacrifice. He came to me and said to me, “Daniel, I have now come to give you wisdom and understanding. At the beginning of your supplications the word went out, and I have come to declare it, for you are greatly beloved. So consider the word and understand the vision: 


Daniel 10:5-6

I looked up and saw a man clothed in linen, with a belt of gold from Uphaz around his waist. His body was like beryl, his face like lightening, his eyes like flaming torches, his arms and legs like the gleam of burnished bronze, and the sound of his words like the roar of a multitude. 


Luke 1:5-25

In the days of King Herod of Judea, there was a priest named Zechariah, who belonged to the priestly order of Abijah. His wife was a descendant of Aaron, and her name was Elizabeth. Both of them were righteous before God, living blamelessly according to all the commandments and regulations of the Lord. But they had no children, because Elizabeth was barren, and both were getting on in years. Once when he was serving as priest before God and his section was on duty, he was chosen by lot, according to the custom of the priesthood, to enter the sanctuary of the Lord and offer incense. Now at the time of the incense offering, the whole assembly of the people was praying outside. Then there appeared to him an angel of the Lord, standing at the right side of the altar of incense. When Zechariah saw him, he was terrified; and fear overwhelmed him. But the angel said to him, “Do not be afraid, Zechariah, for your prayer has been heard. Your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you will name him John. You will have joy and gladness, and many will rejoice at his birth, for he will be great in the sight of the Lord. He must never drink wine or strong drink; even before his birth he will be filled with the Holy Spirit. He will turn many of the people of Israel to the Lord their God. With the spirit and power of Elijah he will go before him, to turn the hearts of parents to their children, and the disobedient to the wisdom of the righteous, to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.” Zechariah said to the angel, “How will I know that this is so? For I am an old man, and my wife is getting on in years.” The angel replied, “I am Gabriel. I stand in the presence of God, and I have been sent to speak to you and to bring you this good news. But now, because you did not believe my words, which will be fulfilled in their time, you will become mute, unable to speak, until the day these things occur.” Meanwhile the people were waiting for Zechariah, and wondered at his delay in the sanctuary. When he did come out, he could not speak to them, and they realized that he had seen a vision in the sanctuary. He kept motioning to them and remained unable to speak. When his time of service was ended, he went to his home. After those days his wife Elizabeth conceived, and for five months she remained in seclusion. She said, “This is what the Lord has done for me when he looked favorably on me and took away the disgrace I have endured among my people.”


Luke 1: 26-38

In the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent by God to a town in Galilee called Nazareth, to a virgin engaged to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. The virgin’s name was Mary. And he came to her and said, “Greetings, favored one! The Lord is with you.” But she was much perplexed by his words and pondered what sort of greeting this might be. The angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. And now, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you will name him Jesus. He will be great, and will be called the Son of the Most High, and the Lord God will give to him the throne of his ancestor David. He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of his kingdom there will be no end.” Mary said to the angel, “How can this be, since I am a virgin?” The angel said to her, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; therefore the child to be born will be holy; he will be called Son of God. And now, your relative Elizabeth in her old age has also conceived a son; and this is the sixth month for her who was said to be barren. For nothing will be impossible with God.” Then Mary said, “Here am I, the servant of the Lord; let it be with me according to your word.” Then the angel departed from her.


Proof of the inferiority of evil spirits abounds upon the earth. The evil spirits can not prevent God from anything that He chooses to do. They can wreak havoc, but they can never, ever, ultimately prevail. They are destined for their own destruction. Being parasites they must feed on others, entering men and beasts. They have no material existence of their own. People who are ALIVE know this. They conquer evil by clinging to God who is the only more powerful Good and Holy Spirit. 

ALIVE: Chapter 88, The Plan

The sky was created as a new home for the spirits to reside. From the dark void the spirits suddenly felt themselves to be in fresh light-filled intensely humid air. It was an awakening, a liberation from blindness. Only one God, unique and powerful, brilliant and the source of brilliance, intelligent and the source of intelligence, creative and the source of all creativity, could, from the depths of Himself, in and of darkness, ejaculate light with His word (λόγος) which was His intellect, and then project this light like a floodlight onto the darkness, to fill the void and thus transform His own world. Not by committee was the cosmos created, but by One, the Source, hence the Father. This light that spit forth from God was good. Yet darkness remained and was separated from the light forevermore. How did this occur since light and darkness cannot coexist? They alternated to create a day. God withdrew His light and spoke it forth again. Luminous day followed dark night. 

On this Second Day of Creation, when the light supplanted darkness again, the spirits flew throughout the new sky with joy unspeakable, unimaginable for a human mind. Perhaps a flash  of that sensation appears in the  psyche of a person, who after hours of climbing, finally reaches the summit. As that one surveys the airy world around, (s)he can perceive a glimpse, a flash of the angelic thrill of flying through the Second Day sky. 

God watched this spectacle of spirits in their new playground with His own sensation of delight. Some were flying in circles and figure eights, while another gaggle of spirits merrily sped through this new experience called light and sight and space. The thrills lasted and lasted through light into darkness and back again. There was no boundary either in space or in time to bump into. Spirits floating through luminous air suddenly seemed knowable as when feeling becomes seeing, as when fleeting thoughts give birth to knowledge.

Water-saturated air sparkled. Spirits blossomed and delighted in the sky and the light. But not all of them. 

As God continued with His Great Opus, to give birth to matter, the spirits were given assignments. Adoring spirits served God well and were rewarded with increasingly important roles according to their attitudes and their performances. After the heavens were made, God gathered all the water that had been floating around the atmosphere and He inserted it within a large ball of earth, the firmament, which was a coagulation of ions of minerals to generate Matter. Rich soil, sandy soil, Mother Earth ready to receive her seeds made valleys of room for water.  Those valleys became known as oceans and seas, rivers and lakes. The waters on and surrounding the firmament gave life to seeds that the spirits had caste out upon the earth. And the seeds slowly generated great trees and vegetation of a vast multitude of colors and textures, of shapes and sizes. Matter was found not to be one thing, but rather a million things. The explosion of creativity was at the same time chaotic and unified on this one dynamic globe.

God, in His infinite creativity fashioned tiny seeds, nuclei of a million varieties of plants and shrubs, fruit trees, mighty hardwoods, softwoods and deciduous trees and flowers of a plethora of colors and shapes and textures.  Each tree, shrub and plant produced its own reproductive seeds. Before God created creatures of all kinds, and animals and mankind, He created their food.

On the fourth day, when God withdrew His light and the familiar darkness returned, the most understated and overwhelming event occurred, to be witnessed only by the enthusiastic spirits and the angry and offended spirits alike. 

On what He called the fourth day, whether or not from His own inner light, God made an enormous ball of fire and set it in the sky to nourish and warm the earth and the seeds there on. On that day God’s first light withdrew into the core of the Creator to be reserved only for special occasions. The earth and heavens shook with a mighty quake as the magnificent fiery sun appeared in the black sky, to make a new day, and a moon and stars to illuminate the dark night.

As light was to darkness, the new fire was to the omnipresent water. 

To illuminate the familiar darkness, the great light of the sun and the small lights of the moon and stars focused all their energy and purpose upon the new earth. The sun became the center of the universe. The planet earth spun around this luminous ball of Fire in a holy dance, to appear and then withdraw so that both light and darkness could each in its turn bless the earth, and in doing so, God created something new and mysterious to the spirits, a regular repetitive orbital dance of the sun and the moon around the earth to give birth to Time, a new brief “Day”. Like a seed of Time, the tiny day became a new standard of measure created by the dance of the Sun and the Earth.  The spirits that hovered above the earth grew dizzy over the speed of changes between darkness and light. Not since the first creation of light did darkness return so frequently. Suddenly, the thing God called Day was a flash of time as was the thing He called Night. 

Some spirits despised the fiery light. They despised the sun as they despised the first light. Because of that, they despised God for forcing His Creation on them. And so God in His infinite wisdom, to pacify the angry spirits, made the spirits ruler over the world when He took back His light from whence it came deep inside Him and replaced it with a fiery sun.

The new light of the world, the sun, like the world, was a material light. The angry spirits liked that. They liked the destructive element of the sun, its power to evaporate water, and its magnificent strength. Nothing, except God, had ever before exhibited such force. The angry spirits felt satisfied that such automated power could exist. 

With the advent of the Sun, and the rotation of the earth around it and the moon around the earth with its magnetic band that played with the oceans, in the vastness of the new universe, darkness could once again predominate, except for in a narrow band of light from the sun that, like a flashlight in the darkness focused on the amazing new living planet Earth. 

God called the familiar darkness night as a period of rest for life on earth, and day as a period of renewal. With day and night, like life and death, God created the concept of beginning and ending. The  constant continual dependable repetition of beginning and ending at the same time refreshing and didactic taught that just as there would be a beginning, there would also be an ending. A small beginning for each of a zillion lives, plant life, the earth itself, and the heavens,  and also an ending for each, until the end of time when there will be a return of timelessness, when the constant first light returns. 

That fourth day was the day that Time was created for the earth. The spirits had no sense of what time meant to them. In fact, time meant nothing to them, neither the beginning of it, nor the unceasing repetition of it. By then, the spirits had grown accustom to God’s affinity for repetition with multiplication of cells. It was a consistent theme, the sameness and the difference of all matter in equal measure. Of things that generate rapidly like buds and flowers and of things that grow slowly like rocks or don’t regenerate at all. 

It wasn’t until the fifth day when the spirits presumed everything was compete when the most alarming shock came to them. A shock that blanketed the entire population of spirits; a shock that was as shocking as the first day of light, and as perplexing. 

The day after the creation of the sun, moon and stars, God made birds and fish. Birds and fish were entertainment for some of the spirits. Suddenly they shared the skies with little winged beings of many sizes and colors. Matter imposed itself on their air! It flew, but it always landed too. 

These first living beings had to eat. That too was new. It wasn’t enough for the light and water to continuously feed the trees and vegetation, the creatures needed nourishment that only the earth could provide, and that they had do forage for themselves. Birds swooped down and ate the fish, the fish ate each other, and they both ate of plants and worms and whatever they could find. Eating was born on the fifth day when the fish and birds were created. When millennia later Christ offered His own body as food for immortality, it was not an accident that this offer of self as life-giving food for humankind is celebrated on the fifth day. On this day God created the Dove, to represent His Holy Spirit, the Spirit above all spirits, and the fish. ΙΧΘΥΣ. (Greek word meaning fish, whose letters are an anagram for Jesus Christ God´s Son Saves.)

The following day, in yet another major burst of creativity God made animals. Fur, skin, faces, arms and legs. The spirits were particularly amazed by eyes. Eyes of crocodiles and lizards, eyes of horses and giraffe all looked like pools of wisdom, with the reflective quality of a still lake, and at the same time eyes contained the concentric circles of the universe. Even the hostile spirits were stunned by the creation of fish, birds and animals. 

Later on the sixth day, while the earth was teaming with life, God generated out of the depths of Himself, as He had generated the first light, a being who in every way of appearance was an animal, albeit a smooth skinned two legged variety with shots of hair in various spots making him look somewhat comical. But it wasn’t the form of the man that astounded the spirits, it was his intelligence and his creativity. He spoke to God! God spoke to him! Not since the clarion call for Light to come had the word been so powerful and shocking to the spirits. 

God had duplicated His own energies, His intellect. He made a human being in His image and likeness!  

The spirits were astounded, at first they were mesmerized. Both good spirits and jealous, hostile and angry spirits were mesmerized alike.  It was not just the form and features of man that astonished the spirits, it was a unique and mysterious sensation. God loved humankind as its mother with a mother’s all encompassing love. God fathered the earth and skies, the sun and moon and stars, but with the creation of humankind God was both Father and Mother. Love was born.

The good spirits wept at the beauty of it all. But not all of them. Some of the spirits were furious. With what audacity did God duplicate Himself in the form like that of an animal? This was an insult to all spirit-kind. 

The spirits by this time had grown accustomed to the sun, to the skies, to the earth and seas and plant life and trees, and birds and fish, both small fish and whales and sharks. In all of Creation the spirits observed a kind of organization and hierarchy, like the spirits had an organization and hierarchy in their own ranks. When mankind came along, the spirits were confounded. Some of them were angrier, the anger of jealousy, and they became angrier with God for this. Others, the more humble among the spirits were amused by the angry spirits because they also saw the limitations of man that the jealous angels regarded as nothing. The hateful spirits were so outraged that they immediately planned how to foil this particular species. 

A mischievous spirit entered a serpent to rob the humans of their likeness and the power over God’s creation, and over them. Evil appeared. Yet, evil had no autonomy whatsoever. It was a parasite. It needed to feed off of its target to exist. The angry spirits came to be known by man as demons, while the good spirits which protected and guided man, and gave man good news from God became known as angels.

The evil spirits rejoiced when the man was punished so severely. While other spirits who trusted God, smiled. Those were the spirits that knew God had a plan that allowed the man to doubt Him and rebel. This rebellion caused a great fissure in the similarity, but the expulsion also sent mankind out into the world to exercise his own intelligence and creativity. 

And so it happened that as the sun and earth danced around and around each other that millions of years went by, and indeed the humans entertained God and impressed the spirits with their language, and shelters and magnificent inventions, and they created artistic expressions for no utilitarian purpose but to speak to each other and to grow each other, much like seeds grow into sweet smelling roses. Men of learning rejoiced in everything. The earth became as much of a playground for men as the heavens were for the spirits.

Both the spirits and the men had to deal with the rebellious ones among them, both the hostile  men and the hostile spirits. Wise spirits and wise men knew the value of the hostility and anger, as horrible as it was, as tragic, as violent. On earth as it was in the skies, an invisible war raged. It was a conflict that God in His Wisdom anticipated. God in His power and glory stood above this conflict that He could have easily vanquished. But He had a plan.